


Should the Stars Align

by includewomeninthesequel



Category: Agent Carter (TV), Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Canon Compliant, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Reunions, Romance, SHIELD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2020-02-22
Packaged: 2020-03-08 22:35:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 26
Words: 156,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18904036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/includewomeninthesequel/pseuds/includewomeninthesequel
Summary: The year is 1949. Agent Peggy Carter has been hard at work moving forward with her life post World War II and keeping the country safe. Though for all the progress she's made, she's found that there are still moments when the past refuses to let her go.When a ghost of her past unexpectedly shows up on her doorstep one night, her life is turned on its head as two hearts attempt to reconcile and heal together.





	1. One Step Forward

** May 1st, 1949 - An Abandoned Alley in Queens **

It had been a hell of a day, to say the least.

It hadn’t quite ended from the day before. Agent Peggy Carter had just finished another mission, which had required a hell of a beatdown. The discovery of a woman who shared an eerie similarity to Dottie Underwood had caught their attention several months ago, and finally, tonight Peggy tracked her exact location and ran there with Mr. Jarvis at the wheel of the car. There was no time to call for backup and she needed to seize the opportunity to confront her before she vanished, just as Dottie had. For all she knew, this woman, named Genevieve Edwards, could be Dottie under another alias. She couldn’t risk losing her. Unfortunately, Genevieve - whom she quickly realized was not Dottie - was every bit as good as Dottie was in regards to combat skills. Peggy however, was never one to back down from a fight, which resulted in a prolonged stalemate of hand-to-hand combat that seemed to never end until Genevieve managed to throw Peggy against a wall of a building. Using this to her advantage, she grabbed a stray cable and used it to choke Peggy from behind. Though things had seemed grim as Peggy tried to wrestle herself free, a well-timed distraction had caught the woman off guard for enough time for Peggy to get loose and finish kicking her down.

Yes, the fact that Mr. Jarvis had snuck up behind the assailant and hit her with a pipe was rather fortunate indeed. 

After ensuring she was properly restrained with the cable that had been used to choke her, Peggy had called the SSR with her find as Mr. Jarvis attempted to analyze her wounds. She shrugged him off with the excuse that they couldn’t let their guard down for even a moment, even though Genevieve was restrained. She heard him mutter something about stubbornness, causing her to roll her eyes fondly at him. Chief Thompson arrived with a few other SSR agents very shortly after.

“Hey Carter, thanks for finally inviting us to the party,” Thompson said as his agents put the woman in the back of one of the cars.

“I’m sorry Jack, but I’m afraid your handwritten note must have gotten lost in the mail. I’ll be sure to put in a formal complaint with the post office,” she quipped. She couldn’t help but match Thompson’s smile at her comment.

“Good work, Carter,” he said sincerely.

“Thank you, chief,” she accepted gladly.

“We’ll take her back in, but you get home and get yourself cleaned up. Just because you caught another one of these Russian Red Room ladies doesn’t give mean I’m going to let you come in late, Agent,” he said firmly.

Peggy was used to the way that Jack always seemed to shift from moments of extreme sincerity to professionalism on a dime. In her years of knowing him, she never knew him to be able to hold sincerity for any remotely extended period of time, aside from their plane ride back from Russia. Even still with his rare moments of sincerity, he had vastly improved since their first days together in the SSR, and that was what mattered.

“I wouldn’t expect anything less, Chief,” she smiled at him and walked - only somewhat delicately - toward the car that Mr. Jarvis had pulled around. 

Jarvis drove her home, and she quietly thanked him. Though she didn’t specify what for, he knew. He told her to take care of her wounds, and perhaps even take the day. Peggy, never being one to take a day due to injury or illness, and much less because someone had told her to, Peggy simply smiled and told him to send Ana her best. 

Upon entering her flat, she looked at the clock and sighed. It was nearly 7am. So much for sleeping even a little. She decided to take the time instead to inspect her body and ensure that she wouldn’t need to stitch herself up (she didn’t), though she was sore all over. Afterward she carefully washed herself up, taking extra time to properly sanitize her open wounds, and changed into new clothes - a simple white button down long-sleeve shirt, black knee-length pencil skirt, and dark green blazer. She took extra care in her makeup, ensuring that the large purple bruise across her cheek was well covered up - she refused pity from anyone, and as the only female Agent in the SSR she knew she only needed to sneeze for that to happen. She couldn’t let them see any sign of weakness, ever.

 She had a quick cup of tea, grabbed her black hat, and began to walk to the SSR. On her way there, a man had forcefully knocked into her, causing her to stumble as her body screamed in pain, and her hat to fall off her head, where it landed in a large puddle. She muttered a few obscenities as she picked it up and tried to shake the water off. She carried it in her hand for the rest of the walk.

The work day itself began with a lack of files on her desk where there desperately needed to be. Due to this, Peggy had spent the morning tracking down the individual responsible, reprimanding him, and then going over those same files to correct his mistakes. Though that part was technically not her job, she knew that they couldn’t afford to have a single error, and they needed to have been sent out first thing in the morning. What had especially aggravated her was Chief Thompson’s reprimand of her that the files hadn’t been sent on time, and refused to listen to her attempts of trying to - as he put it - “pass the buck”. She had been given slightly more responsibility lately and it was her job that the team under her meet their deadlines. She stormed out of his office and went straight toward the interrogation room where they were holding Genevieve for questioning. She walked into the room on the other side of the glass and watched as Agent Davis - Chief Thomspon’s new right hand man - attempted to coerce answers from her. She sighed after a few minutes. Everything he was doing was failing, as she knew it would before Genevieve continued to toy with him each time. Peggy knew how these women worked, she needed to be the one in the room getting the answers. 

Ten more minutes and Agent Davis walked out. Though he was frustrated he refused to show it to Genevieve. Peggy was soon joined in the room by him, and Thompson. She didn’t hesitate for a moment.

“Chief Thompson, you have to put me in there. I know these women, I can get her to talk.”

“That may be true Carter, but this isn’t Dottie. There’s a lot you don’t know about her,” he reasoned. 

“Yes I know that but she was subjected to the exact same training as Dottie was. She fights just like her, she speaks nearly exactly like her, I know how I can do this,” she affirmed.

“Davis, can you give us a minute?” Once the other man left the room, Jack began again. 

“Carter, I appreciate the enthusiasm, but we have to consider you may not be in the proper head state right now,” he said carefully.

“I beg your pardon?” she questioned indignantly. He sighed.

“I just mean that I know how these women fight, and you took her on alone-”

“And I _won_ -” she interrupted pointedly. 

“And you took a hell of a beating in the process, and I need the judgement of someone who has actually slept in the last 24 hours,” he continued.

“I understand your concern and I thank you but I am more than capable of handling this. Besides, you and Davis mustn’t have gotten much sleep to have arrived to take her here when you did and you’re letting him handle this. I assume he’s been in here for most of the morning and he’s still gotten nowhere,” she pressed.

“Just listen, will you, Carter?” he sighed. “You know that I know that you can do this, but I have reason to worry that you’ve been overworking yourself since you’ve come back from California. I know you and Sousa ended amicably but every day for six months you’ve been here before I come in every morning and you stay after I leave. I know I told you to come in on time but it was so I could see how you’re doing, and talk to you about it. You have to acknowledge that you haven’t necessarily keeping a healthy lifestyle right now.”

“Jack I… I’m not… That’s not important as long as I’m getting the job done,” she attempted to protest, though she was quite dumbfounded as to the reason for Jack’s protestations of her handling the interrogation.

“It’s a Chief’s job to make sure all his Agents are safe. So I’m just saying, maybe take the day. Rest, eat, do whatever. If we don’t crack her by first thing tomorrow then she’s all yours,” he promised.  

Peggy inhaled sharply and examined his face. There was a sincerity in his tone of voice that she knew meant that he truly was only looking out for her. She even toyed with the idea that he may have a point. Since California, Jack and herself had gotten on better, and it was nice knowing that at his core, he did respect her, even though he was still terrible about the way he went about it most of the time.  

“Alright fine, but I am only conceding because I know you won’t crack her without me,” she said sternly. To her slight surprise, he smiled at her.

“That’s the Agent Carter I know. Now go on, I know you’ll be back at ass kicking first thing tomorrow.” 

“I beg your pardon Jack, but I am always kicking ass,” she quipped. 

Jack gave a small laugh and nodded.

“Of course,” he agreed

“I shall see you tomorrow Chief,” Peggy said firmly.

“See you, Carter.” 

* * *

She decided to make the most of the day and called Howard, thanking the heavens that he was still in town after his plans to go to Washington had gotten canceled at the last moment. The rest of her afternoon was spent in what she considered to be a mostly useless meeting with him during which they argued over the next steps regarding their newly formed organization, SHIELD. The idea of SHIELD was that is would serve in a similar fashion to the SSR, but with its advanced technologies and expertly trained staff, be much more efficient. Peggy knew during her first few months back at the SSR after the war that there needed to be more done if they were to truly be able to keep their nation safe. With Howard Stark and Colonel Phillips, she developed a plan for a new organization - Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division, or SHIELD - which would be run the way she believed that the SSR should have been run this entire time.

At the SSR she was little more than a skirt. For years she knew she had been one of their biggest assets, and yet she had to fight to be given the slightest bit of responsibility above secretarial work. Though conditions had improved with Chief Thompson since California, he still had his moments of utter ignorance that were growing more irksome each time it interfered with her work. Even though she knew he had the slightest point today, she knew that he never would have sent another man home if they were in the same situation as she was.

As much as it saddened her, Peggy knew that she could do little more with the SSR. Not only that, but their enemies seemed to be infiltrating the SSR at alarming rate. Every time she caught one, another had appeared in its place. Even if she did manage to weed out every rat and rotten agent, the misogynistic structure itself would keep her from being able to fulfill her job properly, and in turn continue to hinder the SSR’s efficiency. However, if her plan to have SHIELD acting as the primary organization in place of the SSR - with Colonel Phillips, Howard Stark, and herself at the helm - she could ensure that there would be no corruption as the three of them were building this from the ground up, and she knew that the three of them would work hard to weed out any overly misogynistic behaviour, which was a nice added bonus.

Peggy had big dreams for SHIELD. This organization would lead in technologies and espionage, and use its resources to protect the little guy. It would protect this nation, just as Steve would have. 

Though they had made a lot of progress in the last two years, days like this reminded Peggy of how much work was left to be done. If they weren’t careful and specific of how they set up their structures, it would lead them vulnerable to infiltration - the same kind that had seemed to be poisoning the SSR the last few years. Peggy wouldn’t let that happen on her watch. However it was difficult to iron out the small details of these policies when the Howard and Phillips were constantly travelling for their work and Peggy was working for the SSR. It was gruelling, to say the least.

After their meeting, they promised to meet again once Phillips returned from his meeting in Washington. It had been made clear that even though they were finally able to debate to getting on the same page, it meant nothing if Phillips didn’t sign off on it. Peggy begrudgingly accepted Mr. Jarvis’ offer to drive her home, and though she knew that her hesitation hurt him, she couldn’t help but allow herself to wallow in the feeling of helplessness that had seemed to be surrounding her lately. 

It felt as though the last few weeks she was always taking one step forward, two steps back.

The sun was unusually warm, even for an early May day, especially considering how it was nearly night. She revelled in the warmth that it brought, how it enveloped her almost as though it was embracing her. She liked to think that it was Steve’s way of reminding her to keep her chin up. Though it felt a tad vain to think of it, she couldn’t help but wonder if he was watching over her. If he was, she could only hope she was making him proud. 

She thanked Jarvis and stepped out of the car. As she walked toward the front doors, her thoughts were interrupted by the feeling of someone watching her. She casually pulled out her compact from her purse and pretended to check herself as she walked. A glimpse of a familiar face with blond hair and blue eyes made her whip her body around, resulting in her muscles to scream due to their soreness. She ignored it and looked around until her heart finally calmed down. There was no one in sight. For a moment, she thought she truly had seen Steve. She shook her head and walked inside the apartment building. Her head had been hit quite hard, after all, she attempted to reason. 

The feeling of being watched didn’t quite leave her until her door was closed behind her.

* * *

 After washing her dinner plates, she set to tidying up her flat. Since moving back to New York from California, she had settled in Brooklyn - for no particular reason. Her flat was small, but cozy enough. She didn’t spend nearly enough time there for her to consider it a true home, but she had come to care for it. She had few belongings, but she made sure to proudly display her favourite pictures, books and records. 

The last year she had promised herself to be hyper-focused on moving forward. She realized sometime during her relationship with Daniel that she hated the term “moving on”, and that it was the reason why she had had trouble continuing in her life. Moving _on_ meant that she had to forget every moment she had shared with Steve, everything that he had meant to her, and every way that he had changed her. In reality, he would always be with her. His impact on her life made her strive even more to change the world into the one Steve dreamed of. He had inspired her into looking more positively on life, and to always do the right thing, even if it was the hard thing. She wanted to take everything he had given her and use it as she ventured forward in her new organization.

So instead of moving on, she was moving forward.

Peggy picked up a stack of her own files that she had built and sorted them on her shelves. A particular one caught her eye, and she separated it from the lot, holding it in her hands as she eyed the aggressive red front.

**CAPTAIN AMERICA**

**INACTIVE**

 She had taken it home the other night accidentally as it landed on her desk and mixed with other files that she was taking home to help build her case against Genevieve. Against her better judgement, Peggy opened the folder, sitting down on the couch. The picture which was originally there was gone, having taken a permanent spot on her vanity three years ago, no matter where she lived. She had originally wanted to put it on her desk in the SSR, but knew it would only cause her more troubles with the men, no matter how comforting it was to look at it. She took a deep breath as she intensely scrutinized every letter on every page, as if she didn’t already have it memorized. As if this time, there would be one thing different. 

 How a person’s career and impact can be summarized in just one folder, she could hardly understand. Before Steve’s death, she had looked through hundreds of files, but it wasn’t until she looked through his that she realized how lacking of depth they really were. Though his actions of heroism during the war were more or less accurately depicted, his life was greater than what was recorded on these pages. He was more than Captain America. He was Steve Rogers. Her Steve. 

His life was also his kindness and loyalty, his persistence, and his willingness to always fight for the little guy. It was in how he treated every person with the utmost respect until they proved that they deserved otherwise.

His life was also made up of every little moment he had shared with her. Before the serum, when he fully admitted to her that he hadn’t the slightest clue how to speak to a woman. When he couldn’t take his sparkling eyes off of her in the red dress. When she saw that her picture was in his compass. When they both froze for a moment after meeting in the middle of their final battle together. When she kissed him. Though it was chaste, it was more than enough to send her head spinning. In her (very biased) opinion, he had been at his most gentle (and awkward) with her. 

With Steve, time had always stood still. Even in the face of war, it had always felt that they had an eternity to simply gaze into each other’s eyes. His eyes, that held more passion than she had ever witnessed in any other pair. They enraptured her, and unknowingly held her hostage every time she dared to hold their gaze.Unfortunately, Time was a cruel mistress, who denied her the opportunity to look in the eyes of her love ever again. They still haunted her dreams every now and then. Dreams where they had gotten their happy ending, and the nightmares where she watches him drown and is frozen, only able to scream his name as he is taken from her again. In the morning, she didn’t know which was worse. In her nightmares, she relived the worst moment of her life. In her dreams, her greatest happiness was given to her, only to be ripped away. 

She closed the folder when the first tear fell on the page. Though it had been four years filled with healing and strides toward moving forward, her feelings never lessened in intensity, and occasionally the nostalgia would overwhelm her. After her relationship with Daniel had ended, she found that there were more nights like this, where she would dwell on blue eyes and a life that could never be. It wasn’t that her relationship with Daniel had been bad - quite the opposite in fact - it was wonderful, and she truly had loved Daniel. Though, not the way she loved Steve.

The way she still loves him. 

A knock on the door startled her out of her reverie. Looking at the clock, she realized it was nearly midnight. Her eyes narrowed in suspicion. Howard knows to notify her anytime he is planning on stopping by, no matter how impromptu the visit (after the time she beat up his butler and shot two of his car tires he really learned his lesson), and he is the only person who could possibly be here at this hour. Slowly, she stood and grabbed her gun from its concealed location on her person. Walking quietly to the door, she kept her gun slightly lowered at her side, bracing herself for an attack. 

Nothing in the world could have prepared her for what stood on the other side of the door. 

For the slightest moment, it felt as though she had had the wind knocked out of her. However, she only faltered for a second before her gun was pointed at the man in front of her, though her breath, mind, and heart had yet to recover - let alone understand what she was seeing before her. 

A man who shared the exact physical features of the one she lost four years ago.  

Well, perhaps not exact. This man had more pain behind his eyes. There were more worry lines around them, and on his forehead. Though his physique and build was the same. There was no doubt about it. This man was impersonating Steve Rogers.  

“Who are you?” She bit out angrily before taking a breath. She needed to remain in control.  

“Peggy, it’s me,” the man said, slowly raising his hands. 

She couldn’t help the lump that formed in her throat. Even his voice was the same. 

“Steve Rogers is dead,” she said coldly. “Now tell me who you really are.” 

“I know this is crazy, but you have to believe me. I’m Steve.”

“People don’t just come back from the dead,” she all but hissed. 

“I mean, I wasn’t technically dead-”

“Then why didn’t you come back four years ago?” she interrupted. Her hard tone hid how vulnerable she felt in this moment.

“That part is extremely complicated, but Peggy I swear it’s me, I-“

“Enough of this,” she snapped. The longer she stared at the man before her, the more her heart hurt. This needed to end. “You are to tell me who you are, who sent you, and why you’ve come.”

The man sighed, his eyes growing more pained. That somehow made her feel worse. For a moment she nearly let her guard down. He slowly began to reach inside his left pocket. 

“Stop right there,” she snapped.

“Peggy _please_. Just let me show you this and I swear it’ll prove to you who I am,” he pleaded. 

Peggy hesitated for half a second before nodding ever so slightly, keeping her gun trained on him. The man pulled out a small round object. She squinted at it in the low lighting, but when he opened it, there was no question. It was Steve’s compass, her picture and all. Though it couldn’t possibly be. His compass was with him when he brought the plane down, it would have drowned with him. As realization dawned on her, she felt herself go pale. 

“It can’t be,” she whispered, shaking her head slowly, not being able to comprehend how he could be standing in front of her.  

“Yes,” he said quietly, a flicker of hope in his eyes. “And… I know it’s not the Stork Club or Saturday, or anywhere near 8pm for that matter… but I was hoping I could cash in that rain cheque on our dance.” 

Peggy’s eyes filled with tears. She hadn’t told another soul of their last promise to each other. It was truly him. She immediately lowered the gun.

“Steve,” she said softly. 

In a flurry of movements that she could hardly register, Steve had stepped forward, taken the gun from her and set it aside, immediately wrapping his arms around her afterward. She wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face in the crook of his neck. They remained clinging to each other, silent tears filled with years of heartache releasing themselves and transforming into ones of relief and just barely, hope. For all the times that she had dreamed of a reunion, none could ever measure up to actually having him hold her in his arms. It gave her a sense of comfort and relief that she hadn’t felt since God knows when. 

Peggy eventually pulled away just enough to look up at him, making sure not to break apart completely. 

“You’re late,” she chided him.

He smiled and kissed her head. It took everything she had not to let her eyes close at the touch.

“Would you believe me if I said I couldn’t call my ride?” he joked. 

Peggy laughed softly and stared at him, still in awe that he was here with her.

“Why didn’t Howard tell me he found you?” She could feel his arms tense around her.

“Because Howard didn’t find me,” he replied slowly, not quite meeting her eyes. 

“Then how are you here?” she whispered, still in disbelief. 

“It’s a really long story,” he whispered back. His smile was tender, and she could almost feel the last four years slowly melting away. 

 “We have time,” she assured him.

 He wiped away a stray tear on her cheek - thankfully not the bruised one - and whispered. 

 “You’re just as beautiful as the day I left.”

 Not being one for accepting compliments on her physical appearance, especially when she knew that her mascara was most likely a running mess, Peggy smiled softly and ducked her head, only to have her chin immediately tilted up by Steve. 

 His piercing blue eyes gazed into hers, and time stopped in a way it hadn’t in years. 

 “I mean it, Peggy. You’ve always been so beautiful, and tonight is no different.”

 “Since when do you know how to talk to women?” She teased. The small laugh that escaped him made her heart soar. 

 “Since I knew I couldn’t come back here without properly sweeping you off your feet, because you, Peggy Carter, deserve nothing less.”

 She couldn’t help the large grin that her mouth formed. Steve matched it and gazed into her warm brown eyes. He slowly leaned down, giving her the opportunity to move away. Peggy tilted her head up more to meet his lips, both of them slowly melting together. 

 This kiss was very different than their first. Whereas their first was gentle and rushed, this one was slow and deep. Peggy involuntarily sighed, and Steve pulled her closer. She moved her hands slowly up to his face, her fingertips memorizing the structure of his jaw and cheekbones before making their way into his hair. 

 When he slowly pulled away, she kept her eyes closed. All reason kept telling her that this couldn’t be real, that he couldn’t really be there, and that if she stopped holding him, or even opened her eyes, he would disappear again.

 She felt his nose gently nuzzle hers and she risked slowly opening her eyes. His hair was disheveled and there was red lipstick that had transferred to his mouth, which was currently in the biggest smile she had ever seen him don. He seemed to look younger than he did when she first opened the door.

 Because of her. 

 She grinned and gave him a chaste kiss before whispering.

 “How about I make us some tea, and you can tell me how the bloody hell you survived that plane landing and why you waited four years to loop me in, hmm?”

 Steve sighed and he nodded, his smile never faltering as she lead him to the kitchen. Peggy hummed softly as she put water in the kettle and set it on the stove before turning it on. She could feel Steve’s gaze on her the entire time. It brought her back to the old days during the war, when she would catch him looking at her nearly anytime they were apart in the same room. Peggy wet a cloth and walked back to where he stood, leaning against the counter. Without a word, she wiped the lipstick around his mouth. Her smile only grew as Steve struggled not to laugh so that she could accomplish this properly. 

 “There you go, all presentable again,” she declared.

 “Thank you, I was hoping to look my best to go out into town exactly at this hour,” he teased as he took the cloth from her and cleaned up around her mouth as well.

 “You’re not going anywhere until you tell me what the bloody hell is happening,” she half joked.

 “I don’t plan on going anywhere ever again,” he said seriously, picking up on her tone.

 Peggy smiled gratefully at him and let him pull her into his arms, resting her head on his chest.

 At that moment there was another knock on the door and Peggy jumped slightly. She looked up at Steve, who had pulled away from her and whose eyes were shifting all around her apartment.

 “Steve, are you alright?”

 “Yeah ‘m fine,” though his voice was low and tense and his eyes didn’t meet hers as a British voice was heard through the door.

 “Miss Carter? It’s me, could you open the door, please? I really must speak with you.”

 Peggy sighed and smiled at Steve.

 “Don’t worry, it’s simply Mr. Jarvis. We’re safe. Just wait here I’ll be right back,” she assured him. 

 “Wait,” he stopped her, holding her hand. 

 She frowned at his changed demeanour. “Steve what is it?”

 “He can’t know I’m back. No one can know I’m back,” he said firmly. Peggy’s head was reeling with questions.

 “Steve have you gone mad? Do you know how many people will be happy to know you’re alive? Why would you want to keep this from them?”

 “I promise I can explain but no one can know I’m here. Please trust me,” he pleaded as the knocking continued. There was something in his eyes that made her stomach churn, and before she knew it, she was nodding slowly.

 “Thank you,” he whispered, kissing her hand and moving further into the kitchen.

 Peggy smoothed her skirt, trying to calm her racing heart, before crossing to the door and opening it slightly.

 “Mr. Jarvis, what ever could you be doing here at this hour? And without calling first? Truly I’m afraid that Howard is influencing you in the most dreadful ways,” she teased.

 “Thank goodness you answered the door. Very late if I may add,” he said pointedly. At Peggy’s raised eyebrow he continued. “I apologize Miss Carter, however, I thought I witnessed something that did not sit well with me, and it would not leave me alone until I came to visit,” he said nervously.

 “What is it?” Peggy said, furrowing her eyebrows in concern.

 “May I come in?”

 “Oh, of course. Here, to the couch,” she opened the door and gestured him to sit. He did so and she closed the door, following and sitting beside him.

 “Miss Carter, when I dropped you off this afternoon, I thought I saw someone follow you to your apartment,” he stated. “I didn’t necessarily see them follow you in but it looked like they had just come out of hiding and then as I left it looked as though they were turning around so I left it alone.”

 “So this person didn’t actually follow me into the building?” Peggy inquired, slightly confused.

 “Not technically, but for some reason the moment didn’t leave me,” he admitted.

 Peggy waited for him to continue, and when he didn’t she tilted her head.

 “Mr. Jarvis, was there… was there anything else?”

 “Well… no, but if someone had followed you and taken you by surprise and I had done nothing, well I simply couldn’t live with myself,” he told her, his voice laced with concern. Peggy couldn’t help but smile at her friend.

 “Oh Mr. Jarvis, that is incredibly sweet of you, but as you can see I am perfectly alright. I do admit that I thought I saw someone as well when you pulled away but I scoured the building and found nothing. If someone was going to attack me, they would have done so already,” she assured him.

 “But what if what we thought we saw was truly something and they’re still waiting to make their move?”

 “Then I will punch them into submission when they do,” she promised. “You know me, I never had an affinity for small talk,” she joked. She could tell that it had worked as she saw the tension leave his shoulders.

 “Yes yes I know you are perfectly capable of handling yourself. I suppose that after last night - or I suppose it was this morning,” he corrected himself, “I was worried that you were a little worse for wear. You took quite a few hits.”

 “I also gave quite a few hits,” she said pointedly.

 “She nearly killed you,” Jarvis matched her tone.

 “And yet I’m perfectly alive,” Peggy countered.

 Jarvis sighed. “Yes Miss Carter, once again, you have come out on top. Just remember, you aren’t alone in this.” 

 Peggy couldn’t help but give the man a small smile.

 “Oh Mr. Jarvis you know that I do appreciate you. I know I’m not alone. You and Howard have shown me that.”

 “And we will continue to do so,” he promised. 

 “Now Miss Carter,” Jarvis continued gently. “It has been nearly 48 hours since you’ve slept and in the time being you have gotten extremely roughed up. It is time you finally get some sleep, lest you keep ruining your health.”

 Peggy chuckled “And you have a wife you need to get back to. I’ve kept you from her long enough.”

 “Thank you, Miss Carter,” he smiled and she hugged him.

 They both stood and she walked him to the door. He was barely two steps out the door when she spoke again, causing him to turn to her.

 “Mr. Jarvis?”

 “Yes, Miss Carter?”

 “Be sure to tell Ana how much you love her,” she said softly.

 “I always do,” he smiled softly at her, and she mirrored it.

 She closed the door and sighed, leaning her head against it. Her mind was whirling around in circles and she didn’t know how to make it stop. In that moment, Steve appeared from the shadows of the kitchen. They spent a few moments in silence simply staring at each other. It was clear to him that Peggy was calculating her next move.

 “February 1, 1944. What happened that night?”

 Steve smiled and didn’t miss a beat.

 “You showed the entire camp that you could do 107 one-armed push ups after Hodge made a pointedly snarky comment as to how no one could match his 75 regular push ups, especially not a woman.”

 Peggy nodded in approval. “And afterward?”

 Steve let out a breath and ducked his head. “You walked by me and I… I couldn’t stop staring. You smiled at me and said: ‘Captain, unless there is something on my face, there is no reason for you to be staring at me with such intent.’ I managed to apologize, but all I could think about was that I could list a million reasons to look at you, and even then it wouldn’t be all of them,” he finished softly.

 “Alright,” she conceded. “I apologize, but you must understand why I have to ask.”

 “Of course, Peggy,” he told her as she crossed to him. “Quiz me any time anywhere, and I promise you I will always get it right,” he assured her. Peggy smiled at him.

 At that moment, the tea kettle began to whistle.

 “Now I do believe you owe me an explanation.”

 A few hours and countless cups of tea later, Steve and Peggy were both sitting on the couch. Peggy had shed her heels and was sitting on end of the couch with her legs tucked underneath her. Steve sat on the other end.

 “One last trip. Back to the future, to home. But I hesitated and I couldn’t quite pinpoint why. Before I knew it I was pulling out my compass. My compass had saved me through hundreds of missions, but really it was your picture that always kept me going. Seeing your face, it always reminded me of the good there was on this earth, and that I had to do my part to protect it. Whenever I was lost I would just look at your picture and feel found. In that moment, I finally admitted to myself that my home was with you… and that after all I had done as Captain America, that maybe I deserved to finally go home. So I changed the date and headed here. The rest, well you pretty much already know,” he finished softly.

 “Steve…” she trailed off, not knowing what she could possibly say after he had relayed his story of the 21st century. “You’ve been through so much, my darling,” she whispered, scooting over so they were right beside each other. She reached up to cup the side of his face, stroking his cheek with her thumb. He didn’t say anything, simply closed his eyes at her touch. “You’ve done so much good for the world,” she continued, “and I am so incredibly proud of you.”

 She kissed his forehead gently, and he slowly opened his eyes again.

 “Now I’m home,” he said, his voice quiet.

 “You’re home,” she echoed. “You came back home,” she repeated, her eyes filling with tears.

 Steve put his hand on top of the one on his face as his other hand found her free one.

 “And I’m never leaving,” he promised.

 As Peggy looked into his bright eyes, she knew she’d be damned if he ever did.


	2. As the Dust Settles

**** **May 2nd, 1949 - Peggy Carter’s Apartment, Brooklyn, NY**

When Peggy woke up, she had only been asleep for about 3 hours, but it was still 3 hours more than what she had gotten the night before, she reasoned. Thankfully her body ached slightly less than it had the previous day, though even with the blaring noise coming from her alarm clock she still found it difficult to fully get up, letting it ring on as she groaned and slowly sat up. She really needed to get a handle on her sleep schedule, she thought as she finally turned off her alarm. Peggy slowly began to stretch her muscles, and ran her hands over her face as she tried to wrap her mind around everything that had happened in the last few hours. 

Upon thinking about it in real detail, she almost laughed out loud at the idea that Steve had come back to her through time travel, of all things. She hadn’t dared say it out loud yet for the fear of it being even more ridiculous than when she simply thought about it in her head. If anyone heard about this, they would think that Steve was crazy, and that she was also crazy just for believing it, and she wouldn’t blame them. It was only due to her war and post-war experiences that she even entertained the idea. Truthfully, if she hadn’t experienced what she had with Dark Matter and Whitney Frost two years ago, she highly doubted that she would have let him go on after saying that phrase. The last few years had been proof to her that the world was filled with impossible things. Steve himself was an impossible thing, his altered physique and heightened abilities being the product of science, which was always progressing and adapting. 2023 was a long ways away, which she reasoned didn’t make it entirely unreasonable that science could figure out time travel by then. Steve had even said that it was extremely new even when he had used it.

Steve.

From Peggy’s seated position against her headboard, the photo on her vanity mirror caught her eye. She stared at the photo of pre-serum Steve, just as she had so many times before. Without warning, a sense of panic began to creep in as she began to doubt whether or not she had dreamt the whole thing up. It wouldn’t be the first time, though she had to admit that this was the most ridiculous plot her subconscious had concocted yet. Peggy slowly got out of bed, putting on her rose coloured robe that matched her night slip, and carefully crept toward her living room. Upon seeing that Steve had been woken by her alarm and was sitting on the couch with a blanket on his lap looking lost in thought, she allowed herself to relax once more with the assurance that for once, he had been there when she had woken up, in a sense at least. 

After she regretfully informed him that she needed to be at work in a few hours, he insisted that she sleep. Peggy had tried to get him to take the bed - both with and without her in it - and though she could see the temptation in his eyes, he told her that it wouldn’t be proper, and that he would be much better off taking the couch - at least for that night. Not wanting to start an argument with him over something so small on his first night back, Peggy let the matter go and gave him two extra pillows and a blanket, heading off to her bedroom - though not before kissing his cheek gently. 

Peggy leaned against the doorframe, crossing her arms over her chest as she watched him. He was clearly so engrossed in whatever it was he was thinking about that he had yet to notice her presence. All the better, she thought. She wouldn’t have wanted him to see her so worried first thing in the morning. She knew what her face must have looked like while she had yet to confirm for herself that he was still here - tangible, and not another tender dream - though he certainly looked like one. With the morning light on him, he looked nearly angelic. Though his hair was sticking up in random places and he was only in a plain white shirt and sweatpants, the way the light enveloped him gave him a more youthful look. Had his eyes not given him away, she would have been able to believe that he was hardly a day older than when the Valkyrie crashed into the ocean. 

Peggy hated that despite all the above, she was still slightly doubtful of him. The moment she set her eyes on him, all she wanted to do was to throw herself in his arms and never let go, but she knew she needed to be cautious. Given her knowledge of what she knew to be true until the moment he appeared on her doorstep, it was more likely it was just a trap, and a small part of her feared that it could still be a trap. After all, when had she ever been allowed her happy ending?

Steve suddenly realized that he was being watched, and he looked over at her, his face instantly softening as he took in her morning appearance. He gave her a soft smile. 

“Morning,” he said. 

His voice, though gentle and inviting, set off something in her - more doubts, more questions - and going against what she wanted to do, which was to walk over to the couch and greet him properly, she stiffened a touch and straightened her posture, keeping her arms crossed. 

“December 31st, 1944,” she said simply. 

Steve didn’t seem phased by this. At the very least, he was hiding it well if he was. 

“The Howling Commandos and I had just recently come back to the London Base after another victory against Hydra. It was snowing, but only lightly,” he began. 

**December 31st, 1944**

_Peggy had found her way to the roof of the building of the Allies’ London Base. Most of the soldiers were on leave until the next morning, and everyone was celebrating the New Year, hoping that it would be the year that ended the war - in their favour, of course. The recent success of every mission of Captain America and his Howling Commandos had in their fight against Hydra had raised everyone’s spirits for the holidays, as well as their hopes for an Ally victory. Though Peggy loved their enthusiasm, at some point it had gotten too rowdy for her liking, and she needed to quietly excuse herself from the loud music and bolstering male voices that were becoming more drunk by the hour._

_Out on the rooftop, she looked over at the city as the sky gently snowed. It was the best kind of snow, in her opinion. It was light and fluffy, and it clung to everything. Under the light of the lamp posts and buildings, everything seemed to almost sparkle. Though it was a bit cold, there was no wind, making it perfectly bearable for her to stand outside for so long. In the distance she could hear the faint voices and music of the party below her carry over, providing the sole soundscape to her thoughts. In this moment, the world was gentle, beautiful, and dare she say it, peaceful._

_For a moment, she allowed herself to wonder if this is how it would always feel like after the war._

_The sound of the door to the roof opening diverted her attention. She allowed herself to smile softly when she saw that it was Steve._

_“You disappeared,” he said as he approached._

_And you came to find me, she couldn't but help but think as he landed beside her._

_“I wanted to enjoy this,” she said instead, gesturing to the city._

_Steve looked around, a smile forming on his lips._

_“It makes you want to stay out here forever,” he agreed softly. “It almost makes it look like the city’s been untouched by the war.”_

_“It almost gives you hope that some day soon it will be once more,” she thought out loud._

_He looked over at her, the way that the snowflakes delicately clung to her hair, eyelashes and military jacket. Dear God she was radiant._

_“It will be, if I have anything to do with it,” he promised her._

_“Something tells me you will have something to do with it, Captain,” Peggy teased. Steve let out a chuckle._

_“It’s nearly midnight,” Peggy said. He followed her gaze toward Big Ben, where they could see there were only seconds left before the New Year began._

_“Here’s to victory for us,” he said, as though giving a toast, offering his hands to her. He could feel his heart pounding as she accepted them and stepped forward._

_“To hope,” she added. Both of them couldn’t help but notice how close their faces were getting, as though they were two magnets slowly being pulled together._

_“To love,” Steve finished quietly, leaning forward to close the distance as Big Ben chimed in the New Year._

_Their lips had barely grazed each other before the door to the roof was thrown open, causing them to jump apart._

_“Oi there they are! Happy New Year!” Dum Dum Dugan cheered as the rest of the Howling Commados echoed his cries of joy and raced to the pair of them, hugging them in turn._

_Throughout it all, Steve only had eyes for Peggy, even as she was swept away from his side as Morita engulfed her in a hug, lifting her up off her feet for a moment. Normally, she would have clocked him for such a bold move, but she was still shaken by the event that had almost taken place a mere moment ago. Suddenly, Steve’s head was placed in a headlock by Dugan as he ruffled his hair. This caused him to miss the moment when Peggy looked back at him, her eyes filled with longing as her lips curled into a tender smile._

**Present Day**

Peggy bit her bottom lip to keep herself from smiling as Steve recounted the story of their almost first kiss.

“I wanted to punch them all for ruining such a good moment,” he admitted. “I mean it was midnight on New Year’s Eve and snowing for Christ’s sake,” he complained. “Like something out of a movie.”

Peggy couldn’t help but let out a small laugh.

“I wholeheartedly agree. It was very romantic,” she reminisced. Of seemingly their own accord, her legs began taking her toward the couch.

“What I wouldn’t have given for a few more minutes,” Steve told her, allowing her to take his hands and pull him up to stand in front of her.

“What would you have done had you been given those minutes, Captain?” she asked, though she knew the answer. Steve simply leaned down, only to be interrupted by the phone ringing. 

“Bloody Nora,” Peggy swore as Steve groaned, dropping his head onto her shoulder instead and giving it a kiss. Peggy sighed and regretfully pulled away from him to step toward the phone, which was on the small side table beside her couch.

“This is Carter,” she answered.

“Carter,” Jack’s voice began and her stomach tightened. She could immediately tell something was wrong. “We have a situation.”

“What sort of situation?” she inquired, keeping her voice even as she knew Steve was an arms length away and listening to every word.

“Davis let his guard down and Genevieve attacked him.”

“Bloody hell, is he alright?”

“He got knocked around a bit but he’ll be fine after a few stitches. We got her restrained again, but now she says she’ll only talk to you,” he said, clearly not happy about the situation. Peggy couldn’t help but be frustrated at the fact that she could have prevented all of this had she just been given the chance when she asked in the first place.

“Goodness,” she muttered. “Well Chief, I’d hate to say ‘I told you so’ in a moment like this, however-”

“Yeah I get it, next time we’ll do as Peggy says,” he sighed, though there was a light tone of teasing in his voice.

“Damn right you’ll do as Peggy says next time, lest another agent need stitches,” she told him, only half-joking.

“Just get down here and make her sing,” he told her firmly.

“I’ll be there shortly,” she assured him, hanging up.

She sighed softly and looked up apologetically at Steve.

“I’m sorry, my darling, but I have to rush off,” she told him.

Steve simply offered her his hand. She took it gladly and let him pull her closer. 

“Does this have something to do with what I heard last night? About you nearly getting killed?” he inquired as his eyes moved from the green-purple bruise on her cheek and locked onto the thin red-purple line that was circling her throat. Of course he had heard, her apartment was the size of a shoe box, Peggy thought grimly.

Peggy scoffed. “Oh Mr. Jarvis loves to dramatize these things. He acts as though it was the first time he’s seen me throttled,” she said nonchalantly. When Steve raised his eyebrow at her she simply smiled.

“Just perks of the job,” she joked, eliciting a small laugh from Steve.

“You do realize you’ll have to let me go so I can get ready?” she teased him as she resigned herself to having to leave for the day.

“Kinda ruins my ‘never letting you go’ promise I told myself when I made the decision to come back,” he informed her.

“I’m sure I can forgive you this once, my darling,” she told him. He kissed her forehead, causing her to grin even though he had let his arms drop from holding her. She walked backward on her way to her bedroom, not wanting to take her eyes off him.

Once her door closed behind her, Peggy sighed softly, her mouth still holding the shape of a smile. She couldn’t believe how much she felt like a school girl. She couldn’t even remember the last time she had felt half this giddy.

In nearly record time, Peggy dressed in a dark red skirt, matching blazer and white long-sleeve button down, and quickly threw on her black work heels and put on her makeup.

When she re-emerged, Steve looked up from where he had just been folding the blanket he used, and he immediately grinned.

“What is it?” she asked as he wouldn’t stop staring at her as she grabbed her purse.

“I’m just… I’m really glad I’m here,” he said softly, his eyes never leaving her. 

Peggy couldn’t help but blush and duck her head for a moment.

“Me too, my darling. Now, if all goes well I’ll most likely be back around 6,” she told him.

“I’ll be here,” he promised.

“You better,” she warned him, though her smile betrayed her. She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and walked out.

* * *

 Once Peggy had made her way into the SSR, she immediately dropped her purse at her desk and walked to the interrogation room where she was immediately greeted by Jack, who was waiting at the door for her.

“Finally,” he half-joked.

“Technically I am here more than half an hour earlier than when I’m supposed to start. You should be thanking me, Chief,” she quipped. Jack conceded.

“Ready, Agent?”

“Always,” she affirmed, before they both entered different doors, closing them after they had entered the rooms on opposite sides of the glass.

“Ah Peggy, you’ve finally come for me,” Genevieve smiled twistedly. Peggy hated how much it reminded her of Dottie. It was also rather frustrating, she noted, how both her and Dottie were able to keep looking so pristine even after being beaten and taken into custody. Though that was drastically less important.

“That’s Agent Carter to you, thank you very much,” she scolded.

“Oh but Dottie got to call you Peggy. Didn’t she?” Genevieve said knowingly.

“Did Dottie tell you that?” Peggy asked casually.

“Oh you know Dottie, she really wasn’t much of a talker,” Genevieve said as though the three of them were the best of friends. “She really liked to use her actions instead of her words.”

“Yes and from what I’ve experienced, it’s much the same with you, isn’t it?” Peggy said, taking a seat and making herself appear more relaxed and casual.

“You mustn’t blame me for those things, I only did them because I’ve been under extreme duress,” she defended, all but batting her eyelashes at Peggy, who rolled her eyes. 

“Oh don’t waste your cutesy eyes on me, Genevieve, you’re hardly my type. Besides, you know how well I know Dottie, and quite frankly, you two are cut from the same cloth,” she said in a bored tone. She could tell that Genevieve was picking up on it, and that it was slightly unsettling her.

“We grew up together, yes, but trust me, we’re very different,” she assured, narrowing her eyes ever so slightly. Peggy noticed that the birthmark just underneath the left corner of her mouth seemed to twitch. She decided to file that away for later.

“Yes, you’re right. That’s why she’s free and you’re chained to this table,” Peggy hummed in agreement.

“Why now, this kitty has claws,” Genevieve noted.

“This ‘kitty’ also has the key to a reduced sentence for you,” Peggy added.

“Reduced sentence, really?”

Peggy could sense the sarcasm in Genevieve’s tone, though hers betrayed nothing. She knew she needed to remain emotionless for this to work.

“Considering that we have mounds of evidence linking you to several murders, and a few attempted ones, it was lucky we could swing anything at all.”

“And you went to all that trouble for little old me? I’m touched, Peggy,” Genevieve purred. 

“You see, the thing is, Gen, may I call you Gen?”

Genevieve’s scrunched nose in disgust and the way her birthmark twitched at the nickname was all the answer she needed.

“Then don’t call me Peggy,” she warned. “As I was saying, yes I have a reduced sentence ready to go, however, I don’t think I’ll be giving it to you,” Peggy mentioned as though she had put a lot of thought into it and really regretted it.

“You think that’s supposed to scare me?” Genevieve raised her eyebrow at Peggy.

“Oh I know it isn’t going to scare you in the slightest, but I figured I’d be honest. Assassin or not, you deserve at least the truth. We both know how this game goes. We bargain, we come to an agreement, and you lead me to Dottie in exchange for deportation. Dottie, who knows you’ve been taken at this point will have a trap waiting for me. Since you’ve done your work it doesn’t matter what happens to me, you’ll only be sentenced to deportation instead of the chair or lifetime in a high-security prison, though I must warn you, the former is much more likely to occur,” Peggy explained nonchalantly.

“So why bring up the deal in the first place if you know how this ends? If you know that you don’t plan on giving it to me?” Genevieve asked, her curiosity clearly piqued.

“Because after you choked me last night, I wanted to see the look on your face when you realize that all of this doesn’t depend on you, or me. It depends on Dottie,” Peggy told her. She could see Genevieve attempting to put the pieces together.

“Without Dottie, there’s no point in giving you any mercy. Even if you knew where she was, I can track her on my own. Sure it’ll be slower, but I’ve done it once and I can do it again. Meanwhile, she’s leaving you to rot here. She knows you’ve been taken, of course, but she wouldn’t dare try and come to rescue you from the chair. Mostly, because she doesn’t care. Whoever is running the Red Room knows that the longer you’re here, the more likely it is that you’ll crack, because as much as I’ve been investigating them, I’m sure they've put in just as much effort looking into me. They know what I’m capable of. You know what I’m capable of. Dottie does as well, and she knows that either way, you’re expendable, because you’re a dead woman. You stay in here, you get the chair. If you escape, Leviathan will get you. If you get deported, it’s much the same of the latter. There is no situation in which you come out of this alive. You’ll be dead, while having only done the bare minimum for a cause you’ve been trained to serve all your life. How pathetic.”

Peggy’s voice had gotten lower throughout her speech, her eyes never once leaving Genevieve’s. Peggy slowly smiled innocently when she finished.

“Well goodness, after that I’m a bit hungry. Must be because I skipped breakfast,” she continued. “I’ll leave you alone for a bit while I eat, but I’ll be back later in case you still want to chat,” Peggy said nonchalantly, getting up in one swift movement and exiting the room. She entered the one right beside it and was greeted with Jack’s slightly bewildered expression.

“I give her two hours tops before she asks to see me again,” Peggy told him casually. “Now if you’ll excuse me, the whole skipping breakfast thing was actually true and I am famished. Would you like me to grab you a bagel, Chief?” she asked.

Jack let out a small laugh and nodded. This woman never failed to surprise him.

“Everything bagel with butter. Toasted,” he told her. “And hey,” he continued as Peggy went to leave. “Thanks, Carter.”

“It’s no bother… but next time, you should spare us the trouble and just listen to me right off the bat,” she told him. Instead of quipping back, he conceded, much to Peggy’s surprise.

“You’re right.”

* * *

 When Peggy had gone to work, Steve had been left alone with his own thoughts. He mused about this Mr. Jarvis person and how he clearly seemed to be taking care of Peggy, if his concern for her last night was any indication. He was grateful for this, though he knew that she didn’t need to be taken care of. He was curious to know about his relationship with Howard Stark, especially considering that he was apparently the namesake of Tony’s first AI. He then wondered who this female assailant was who had managed to hurt Peggy and another agent while in custody. He would have to ask her when she got home. The way she brushed it off made him think there was much more to her encounter with the woman than she was letting on.

Steve spotted a radio and smiled, turning it on. The familiar style of music relaxed him. He hummed along to a certain tune as he looked out the window. Peggy had a small balcony, but he didn’t dare go out there in broad daylight, not while he was supposed to be dead in this world. Instead he admired the view from the inside, thinking about how wonderful - and shocking - the last few hours had been. He revelled in the similarities and differences that the street below him held to the same street in the future. For a moment, his mind wandered to the friends he had left behind in this same future, but he knew they would be alright. The war was won. His war was done. He was finally back home. 

He wasn’t sure how long he stood there, just staring at the city life pass by, but eventually the sun was rather high in the sky. He moved around the apartment, not wanting to snoop, but incredibly curious as to what Peggy’s apartment held. They never had such a luxury of consistent homes during the war. Eventually, Steve’s curiosity got the better of him and he couldn’t help but look around the apartment slightly more thoroughly. Though it was small, he made sure to take in every detail, from the thoroughly organized bookshelf and file folders to the way she had gone to the trouble of keeping a houseplant. It was extremely healthy looking, and he could see how much effort she had put into taking care of it. The thought of her coming home from the end of a long day and watering the plant, the domesticity of it, warmed his heart. During the war, they didn’t have time to focus on small domestic things. Every moment was grand, it was always do or die. When he had woken up in the 21st century, his mind would go back to those moments they shared, obsessing over the little time they had together. He never let himself think about what life they could have lived together. It would break him if he did.

His dreams were the only thing that betrayed his heart’s innermost desires.

He saw a file on the table in front of the couch that he hadn’t seen last night. The title on it caught his eye. 

**CAPTAIN AMERICA**

**INACTIVE**  

Steve frowned and picked it up. He opened it and looked through the contents. He had seen this file before during his time in the 21st century. There was something disconcerting about it being here in Peggy’s home. He noticed the small tear stain on the paper that looked rather fresh. He could only assume that she had been looking through it last night and had cried. The thought of it alone broke his heart. Steve put the file down, not wanting to think anymore about how much pain his disappearance had caused her. He sighed and continued looking around, his eyes locking on the open door to Peggy’s bedroom.

After debating it for some time, he decided to take just a quick peek into the bedroom. He felt wrong, violating her privacy, but he figured that as long as he didn’t open or rummage through anything it wouldn’t be so bad. He had spent so much time wishing that he was with her again that now, he wanted to take in every part of her and learn who she had become in their time apart. 

What caught his eye almost immediately was the photo on her vanity mirror. It was him, before the serum. He felt a lump form in his throat at the thought of her keeping a picture of him in a place where she would always see it. He knew how much he had missed her and judging by her reaction last night he knew she had missed him too, but in a way this affirmed it for him. His picture on her vanity was like him keeping her in his compass. They kept a part of each other close to them to remember the old days. To remember what they had shared, and how they had impacted each other’s lives.

He sat down on the chair in front of the vanity, feeling a sense of grief washing over him. He had lived a whole other lifetime keeping the good fight going. He had seen a lot and lost a lot, without even a thought of the possibility of ever seeing her again. He had gotten her back momentarily, only to lose her all over again. When he was given the chance, he knew he needed to act on what he had truly wanted in all the time since the moment he came out of the ice. He was tired of fighting. He had been fighting his entire life, and now it was time to do what Tony and Natasha have wanted for him for years. 

**July 21st, 2020**

_Steve walked into the Avengers Tower, finding Natasha at the console like usual, having just finished another check in with the abroad Avengers. He easily slid into the seat opposite her. Neither of them said anything, which wasn’t uncharacteristic, but he could tell something was up with her. After a few moments, she pulled out a bottle of whiskey and two glasses from one of the drawers underneath the console close to where she was sitting. Steve raised his eyebrow at her._

_“Today was a bad day,” she shrugged as she poured the first glass. She gave him an inquiring look and he nodded. She handed it to him and began to pour her own._

_“I know you can’t get drunk, but I’ll admit it’s nice that you still drink with me. Drinking alone sucks.”_

_Steve gave her a small smile._

_“What are friends for?”_

_They drank in silence for a few minutes._

_“I had a dream. Another one,” she said finally. Nat had confided in him some months ago that she had begun to have dreams about their fallen friends. She drank what was left in her glass and set it down. Steve looked at her, knowing that she needed to be given the freedom to talk about it in her own time._

_“Do you ever dream about her?” she asked him instead of divulging more information. Though it caught him off guard, he knew who she meant._

_“Yeah, sometimes… A lot when I first woke up. A lot after she died. A lot since we lost,” he admitted. If he closed his eyes now he wouldn’t be surprised if he saw her face again._

_“How do you do it? How do you live with being haunted by faces of those you can’t have back?” she asked, not meeting his eyes. “Before I would never dream of anything, or if I did, it would be nightmares about the Red Room, which was normal. But this… I dream about losing them over and over, or I dream about having them back and I wake up and they’re gone again,” she spat out the last part of her sentence._

_“I never quite figured out which was worse,” he told her. “Losing those you care about, it’s hard to relive, but being tricked by your own mind into thinking you have them back… It’s another type of bullshit,” he said, topping up both their glasses._

_“When I lost Peggy - the first time - the only comfort I had was that we had won. It had been for the greater good. If I had to lose the love of my life-” he stopped himself. He had never said that out loud. He knew that she was, but hearing himself say it out loud, it put another tear in his heart._

_Nat looked at him sadly._

_“If you hadn’t gone into the ocean, would you have married her?” she asked him gently._

_“Yes,” he answered immediately, feeling a lump form in his throat. He was so tired of tears._

_“I know it’s hard to believe, but you still deserve to have that life. To be happy,” she told him._

_Steve scoffed. “That life died for me the moment I decided to land the Valkyrie in the water.”_

_Nat simply looked at him, knowing that even after everything he had been through, if by some miracle Peggy had somehow ended up in the future just as he had, he would have married her the first second he could._

_“So,” she began, “how do we go forward knowing neither of us is getting that life?”_

_“We can only move on, and try to do better by them,” he replied, his tired voice matching hers._

_They drank the rest of the bottle in silence._

**Present Day**

Steve took a breath and looked at his reflection in the mirror. He was so much older than he was in the picture on Peggy’s vanity mirror. He had changed so much since then, not just physically. Deep down, he was scared that he had changed too much for her, that she wouldn’t recognize his soul and shut him out. But he also noted that Peggy had also changed. She was more guarded, more distrusting, more calculated. Yet when he held her in his arms, or when they talked about their stolen moments together from those years ago, he saw something else, a side of her that he had only really gotten brief and sporadic glimpses of during the war. She was gentle, and loving, and maybe even a little unsure of herself at times. In her moments of doubt, this resulted in her resuming her hard exterior, the one who still questioned if Steve was truly who he said he was. Steve knew that he would have to work harder to get her to a place where she could trust him and not have moments of panic that made her begin another round of memory lane pop quiz, and he was more than willing to do whatever it took. He knew that grief and its effects didn’t just go away overnight. Neither of them were the same people that they were when they first met, or even when they thought they had heard the last of each other over the radio. He could only hope that even though they had both changed, they could continue to grow and change together, and move forward. Together.

Steve eventually found the energy to stand up, and decided that he should wash himself. It had been a while and he didn’t want to repel Peggy with his odour. It was the right choice, as he felt entirely refreshed and more relaxed afterword.

He thanked Tony a million times over as he put on his suit again, the nano-technology shifting itself into a more 40’s style outfit of khaki-coloured pants and long sleeve shirt. He would have to get clothes soon, but this would be enough for now.

Steve then made his way over to the kitchen again, realizing just how long it had been since he had eaten last. After looking at the time, he decided that he would have just enough time to make dinner before Peggy came home. As he began, he already missed the marvels of what cuisine was in the 21st century. He tried to imitate it as best he could, but knew it was something he would have to get used to again. 

A little over an hour after he had begun, he heard the door unlock and Peggy’s heels click on the floor.

“Steve?”

“In here,” he called out.

When Peggy walked into the kitchen, the sight before her made her stop dead in her tracks. Steve was wearing an apron and cooking, wearing a completely different outfit that she had no idea he was even carrying with him. Not for the first time in the last 24 hours, she felt like she was hallucinating.

“Steve, what on earth are you doing?”

“Making you dinner,” he replied, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Yes I can see that, but when did you become so fond of cooking?” she inquired. He thought about it for a second.

“I always liked it, but I picked it up again in earnest around late 2011, early 2012 as a way to get my head together about the whole waking up in the future thing. I think I really began to get creative in 2016. I was put into a situation where I really had to improvise more often, and that really fostered my skills as an up and coming chef,” he decided on.

Peggy merely blinked at him.

“The fact that what you just said is normal and casual to you is absolutely astounding,” she muttered.

“Yeah the time travel thing doesn’t really get much easier, no matter how much you think about it, talk about it, or even do it” he said apologetically.

Peggy shook her head and couldn’t help but laugh.

“There you go again! Saying things like time travel as though it’s so ordinary.” She sighed a bit as she took him in. “Goodness, Steve, you’ve lived a whole other life,” she mused.

“I did, but I decided that this one would be better,” he stated simply as he turned off the stove.

“Is that right?” she asked, leaning against the counter.

“Obviously. This life has you,” he told her. Peggy smiled at him, playing with the ends of the apron he was wearing.

“You’ve turned into quite the sweet talker, Captain Rogers,” she informed him.

Steve allowed himself to be pulled closer by the apron, and he placed his hands on the counter on either side of Peggy’s arms, effectively trapping her. Peggy felt a shiver go through her body as Steve’s blue eyes focused on her brown ones.

“Is that a bad thing, Agent Carter?”

“Quite the opposite, in fact,” she told him.

“Good,” he murmured, leaning down and capturing her lips.

Peggy let out a small sigh and immediately opened her mouth. She put her hands on the back of Steve’s neck and pulled him closer, and he responded in kind by pressing his body against hers, pinning her against the counter. She allowed his tongue to explore her mouth as one her hands found its way into his hair. Peggy couldn’t help but admit that though she loved Steve when he had fumbled and made awkward errors around her during the war, there was something about this newfound confidence that made her weak in the knees.

They both finally pulled away for air. The pair breathed a bit heavily, foreheads leaned together, large smiles plastered on both their faces. Peggy pulled him down for another kiss, but had to separate when Steve’s growling stomach betrayed him, causing her to giggle.

“I suppose it’s time for dinner then?” she teased. Steve sighed.

“It’s the damn metabolism,” he muttered, not ready to break his close proximity with Peggy.

“It does have its benefits,” she murmured as she lowered her hands to his chest and slid them down to his abdomen.

Steve smirked ever so slightly and put his hands over hers for only a moment before pulling away. At Peggy’s small noise of protest, he shrugged.

“I thought you said it’s dinner time,” he teased.

“I’m pretty sure your stomach said it first,” she quipped, causing Steve to laugh as he served their food on their plates. 

It was like a song to her ears, and she was ready to listen to his music for the rest of her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm assuming that every chapter is going to be about 4-7K words. I'll try to update twice a week but I'm currently working three jobs so no promises!
> 
> In case you haven't noticed, this is canon-compliant with everything including Endgame, and Marvel's Agent Carter series (except for the last 30 seconds of the last episode because I refuse to create a world that Jack Thompson isn't in just as he was reaching the peak of his character development).
> 
> Finally, I love flashbacks. Just a warning.
> 
> Please leave me feedback! I love growing and developing.


	3. Cover Me

**May 4th, 1949 - An Abandoned Warehouse in Brooklyn**

The next afternoon found Peggy in full tact gear with her hair braided back, leaning her back against the wall of an abandoned warehouse next to the back door, her Thompson submachine gun in hand. Agent Davis was right beside her. Agent Ramirez was on the other side of the door, looking at her, waiting for her signal to enter. 

After she had spent hours interrogating Genevieve over the last few days, she had managed to get the address for this building, which was apparently the breeding ground for whatever Leviathan was up to. After sharing this information with Chief Thompson, he named her lead on this mission and gave her a team to utilize for the capture of Dottie Underwood, and any evidence they may find pertaining to her and Leviathan. 

“B Team in Position,” she heard over her radio. 

“C Team in position,” another voice followed.

“Wait for my signal, then everyone go,” she replied.

“B Team copy.”

“C Team copy.”

Peggy took a deep breath and nodded at Ramirez. Together, they kicked open the door and Peggy took point as they ran into the building, bracing for a battle. After a few seconds, however, it was apparent that there wasn’t a soul in sight.

“Something’s not right,” Davis called out as they looked around, their guns at the ready. 

“There’s no one here,” Ramirez said as the three of them, along with Agents Anderson and Smith, scoured the relatively small warehouse with no other sign of life to be found. 

Peggy walked to the back of the building. On the wall there was a large map of the state of New York with little a red “x” marked in several locations. Beside it there were matching of Washington, Paris, and London. Each had the same markings throughout the cities as the map of New York had. On the table below there were three maps of Russia, Ukraine and Poland. There were no red marks on these maps, which caused Peggy to wonder why they were there. Aside from the maps, the contents of the table - various files, papers, and stationary - were all in disarray.

“Someone was here, but they seem to have left,” Peggy called out to them. They walked over to where she was standing, the five of them at the ready with their weapons still, should someone take them by surprise. 

“Seems like they left in a hurry,” Davis pointed out. Some of the papers had fallen on the floor, as well as a pen and notepad. 

Peggy huffed and turned on her radio. 

“No sign of Underwood, but someone was definitely here. B Team, meet us in here to gather the evidence we’ve found. C Team, remain vigilant on the rooftops in case someone who was left behind tries to escape from here,” she ordered.

“B Team copy, we’re on our way.”

“C Team copy, we’ll sit tight until you tell us.”

As the largest of the three teams entered the building to join the A Team and began taking pictures and carefully packing everything into evidence, Ramirez stepped to her. 

“There’s no way anyone leaves their secret hideout this much of a mess on purpose.”

“She knew we we were coming,” Peggy affirmed what he was thinking. 

“How?” Davis asked, clearly irritated. 

“I’m not sure, but it looks like she didn’t have much time to leave. She got messy,” Ramirez noted. 

“Or it was on purpose and she wanted us to find this, and it’s going to lead us to a trap,” Peggy countered. The men looked at her grimly. 

“You’re lead, Carter, what do we do?” Anderson asked her. 

“All of you ensure that every piece of evidence is properly attained, and then start figuring out what this all means. Use the conference room in the bullpen to sort all of this.” 

As she turned to leave, a glint on the ground caught her eye. She knelt down and smirked, pulling out a pair of tweezers from one of her dark brown cargo pant pockets and used them to grab the singular light-brown hair that was on the ground. 

“What about you?” Ramirez inquired as Peggy bagged the evidence and handed it to Davis. 

“I’ll join you later, but first I need to pay a visit to our Red Room friend. We need to know how Dottie knew we were coming.”

 

* * *

 

Back at the SSR, Peggy arrived and walked into Chief Thompson’s office. She had phoned him beforehand so he knew what had happened at the warehouse.

“Tell me you have some good news, Carter,” he sighed.

“I’m holding out for the piece of hair that we found to confirm it is either Dottie’s, or someone who we can use to get to her. I’m going in to interrogate Genevieve again. I just know she warned Dottie we were coming,” she told him. 

“How?”

“I don’t know, but that’s what I’m going to find out,” she assured him.

“Be careful with what she tells you, knowing Leviathan, this could all be a trap,” he warned her. 

“I know it’s a trap, Jack, but don’t you fret about me. We’ll have Dottie back in custody, you have my word,” she promised him. 

“I don’t expect anything less,” he told her.

“Now if you’ll excuse me Chief,” she continued, “it’s time to figure out where Leviathan is leading us.”

 

* * *

 

Though her day hadn’t gone as planned, surprisingly enough, Peggy felt completely calm as she entered the interrogation room and took a seat opposite Genevieve.

“Peggy, you’re back! How’d it go?”

Peggy could hear the taunting underneath her words. It irked her more than it should have.

“I’m afraid not as well as I would have liked. Kind of you to ask, though, considering you knew that’s how it would turn out,” she casually accused. 

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean,” Genevieve said, though the glint of triumph in her eyes gave her away. 

“Dottie was informed to our arrival and had vacated the premises mere minutes before we arrived. I’d like to know how,” Peggy said firmly. 

“You think I did it? And here I thought we were finally getting along so well,” Genevieve feigned being hurt, her birthmark underneath the corner of her mouth twitching. 

“Cut the games, Genevieve, they’re really starting to get old. We both know you tipped her off somehow, and I intend to find out how,” Peggy told her calmly.

“You’re better than this, Peggy,” Genevieve noted, her voice lowering in volume and speed. “If you really wanted to know the how, you’d know you wouldn’t get what you wanted by coming in here and just demanding answers.”

“You seem to have a surprising amount of faith in me, considering how much you want me to fail,” Peggy replied observantly. 

“Like you said two days ago, I know what you’re capable of. Of all the agents in this building, you’re the only one who stands even a chance at stopping us. At one point you got Dottie, and now you got me. All of what happened over in California two years ago? I heard about it, and it had your name all over it. But do you know what’s the most dangerous thing about you, Peggy? You don’t quit. To the point of obsession. You can take hit after hit and keep fighting until you make sure you come out on top. And that is something that can’t be underestimated,” Genevieve told her, as her cold green eyes seemingly dissected Peggy. 

“Well I do have to admit that’s quite an accurate analysis. And I intend for it to be the downfall of your precious Leviathan,” Peggy threatened in a low voice. 

“That’s such a shame though, Leviathan could really use you on our team,” Genevieve said regretfully. “After all, you’re practically family already.”

Peggy glared daggers at her.

“As if. If I were you I’d be more concerned with what happens to you and your “sister” Dottie the moment I find her,” Peggy warned.

“I won’t hold my breath, Peggy,” Genevieve sneered. “Our family will either convert you, or kill you before you even get close.”

With one last glare, Peggy walked out the room, her blood boiling as she went to meet up with her team that would be arriving at any moment with the evidence they’d need to win their war against Leviathan.

 

* * *

 

Peggy arrived home exhausted with the day. They made good headway with their search through the evidence, but had so far been unable to connect the files to any of the maps or even any small thing that could possibly reveal Leviathan’s next step. Genevieve had been even less helpful. The way that Genevieve had tried to include Peggy in what she considered to be her family of murderers had unnerved her, and in the end, she thought it best to postpone further interrogation until she could shake that feeling off. After all, they had an entire organization to shut down, and at the end of the day, Genevieve and Dottie were no more than pawns in the game.

The smell of fresh cooking greeted her as she walked into her apartment, and Peggy felt herself relax. She dropped her purse in its normal hook beside the door and walked to the kitchen where Steve was wearing the apron along with a simple blue t-shirt and khaki pants - both of which were among the clothing items that she had bought for him the day before - humming a tune. He was completely engrossed in whatever it is he was making. Peggy looked at him appreciatively. 

“Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?” she said teasingly as she leaned against the wall.

Steve looked up at her with a playful smile.

“You’re one to talk. Have you even seen yourself?”

“I do believe I own a mirror, yes,” she joked.

Steve chuckled and shook his head slightly, then lifted the spoon that was in the pot, nodding at her so she’d walk over to him.

“Come taste,” he told her. She walked over and let herself be fed the contents of the spoon. Peggy hummed and briefly shut her eyes.

“Oh Steve, this is delicious,” he told him.

“Really?” he said, clearly pleased with himself.

“Absolutely, though I must warn you to be careful. I’m afraid you’re spoiling me,” she told him. “Homemade dinner right after work three nights in a row, it’s quite a treat.”

Steve couldn’t help the grin that formed on his face.

“Well you better get used to it,” he told her.

“I must admit I do look forward to more of this,” she told him softly, leaning up to kiss his cheek.

After a few minutes, dinner was ready and Steve served their plates. Peggy took her place at the dining table and waited for him to join her before beginning to eat.

“How’d the raid go?” Steve asked after a few bites.

“Mmm, dreadful, I’m afraid. They’d been tipped off that we were coming and had evacuated shortly before we arrived,” she sighed. 

Though her job involved a massive amount of confidentiality, she knew that Steve would understand better than anyone what she was up against and the trials that came with the job. She also had to admit that it was nice to have someone to talk to about it outside of the office who could just be an ear instead of offering up unwanted advice. Peggy also figured it couldn’t hurt considering she was the only one who knew he was alive, and therefore he couldn’t tell anyone else.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“It’s not your fault. Besides, we managed to recover quite a bit of evidence. Almost a daunting amount. Nothing quite that extraordinary has turned up yet but I have faith,” she told him.

“Even if nothing turns up there you’ll figure something out. You’re quite resourceful,” Steve assured her.

“You have quite a high opinion of me,” she teased him.

“Nothing that you haven’t already proved,” he said sincerely. Peggy simply smiled at him and finished her dinner.

“Steve?” she said eventually.

“Yes, dear?” Peggy couldn’t help the smile that formed at Steve’s new pet name for her.

“What’s the plan?”

“Plan?” He furrowed his eyebrows.

“Well, you’ve finished your war, you’ve…” she couldn’t bring herself to say ‘time traveled’ just yet. It was still too strange. “You’ve come back, you’re with me again. What’s next? I highly doubt you’ll stay cooped up in this apartment the rest of your life,” she noted.

Steve thought for a moment.

“Well… I’m done fighting, you’re right. I guess it means I’d take a new identity. Change my name, blend in, the likes. I can’t damn well go walking around as Steve Rogers again. If I did, not only would that muck things up for the future, I’d feel an obligation to be Captain America again,” he sighed. “Not that I didn’t like fighting for good it’s just… I’ve fought so many wars for so many years, and I’m finally ready for a quieter life.”

Peggy looked at him softly. 

“Well what about this whole blending in? How exactly do you plan on accomplishing that?” She asked genuinely. “You’re more than a tad memorable.”

Steve smiled. “I was thinking I’d grow a beard,” he suggested. 

Peggy scrunched up her nose and frowned. 

“Oh come on I didn’t think it was that bad of an idea,” he protested.

“No it’s not that, it’s just, well I quite like your face and I’m not a fan of hiding it away,” she admitted. Steve couldn’t help but smile.

“Is that so?”

“Mmhmm. I’ve grown somewhat attached to it I’m afraid,” she told him. 

“Nothing wrong with that,” he teased. 

Peggy looked at him for a few moments, as though analyzing his face. 

“What?”

“Well I was just wondering, will the beard be enough? As much as I hate it, we might want to consider glasses as well,” she offered. 

Steve nodded in agreement. 

“You’re probably right,” he told her. 

“Probably?” She scoffed. “I am most certainly right. Every time. I thought you’d learned that by now,” she chided him, causing him to grin. 

“How could I ever forget?” He apologized. Peggy gathered their plates and cutlery, kissing his cheek before walking over to set them into the sink.

“Now, if you’re going to live a normal civilian life,” she said as she began to wash their dishes, “you’ll need to acquire the appropriate documentation to go with whatever name you choose, which won’t necessarily be easy since you’re not with the SSR. They do that sort of thing for espionage purposes,” she told him. Steve then briefly wondered how many aliases Peggy had before his thoughts were interrupted by her continuing.

“However, we do happen to know someone who could easily make it happen, and would be more than glad to do it,” she said, clearly building up to something. Steve’s inquiring look was all she needed to continue.

“Howard Stark,” she finished triumphantly, turning to look at him.

Steve couldn’t help but smile softly at Peggy’s near-giddiness as she dried the dishes and continued speaking.

“He’d do anything for you, and you know it. Steve, he’s going to be so happy to hear you’re alive,” she assured him.

Steve’s smile faltered slightly as he suddenly and unexpected began to feel anxious.

“What is it?” she immediately picked up on his silence and turned to face him.

“I just… can we hold off on telling him for a little while?”

“Why?” she immediately questioned, setting down the last fork that she had just dried. “He would want to know.”

“And we’ll tell him,” Steve assured her as he crossed to her, “but I’m still just getting settled and gathering my bearings. The past few days have been trying to get used to a time period I thought I’d never live again. After spending more than a decade in a whole other century, it’s almost a culture shock,” he explained, taking a breath.

“And it may be selfish… but I also want to spend a bit more time with just you before I have to worry about anyone else,” he admitted.

Peggy looked at Steve with a tender expression and nodded.

“Alright, we’ll wait a week or two before telling him. Whenever you’re ready,” she agreed.

Steve smiled gratefully at her, pulling her close so that he could kiss her forehead.

 

* * *

 

_Steve felt disoriented. As he took in his surroundings - the rocky terrain, the gloomy sky -he felt a pit in his stomach, recognizing the place that he had only visited once before._

_Vormir._

_At the sound of voices above him, he began to quickly make his way up the steps. He knew something was wrong when the Red Skull wasn’t there to greet him like he did the time before. The noises above him could now be clearly more defined as fighting and arguing. Realizing what that meant, he now bounded up the remaining steps at full speed. Upon reaching the top, he only had a moment to take in the scene before him. It was Natasha and Clint, and they were fighting over who would be the one to sacrifice their life. In a blink of an eye, both their bodies went over the cliff’s edge. Steve sprinted ahead, hoping to save them, to take Natasha’s place, but was thrown back just as he reached the edge of the cliff by a blinding white light that rocked everything in sight. After the planet had settled, he looked around slowly in defeat, knowing that he had failed._

_Again._

_With a heavy heart, he stood and slowly walked over to the edge, and peered down. He braced himself to see his old friend, just as lifeless and broken as he had seen her before, lying in a pool of her own blood._

_He narrowed his eyes to get a better look, and let out a cry as he realized it wasn’t Natasha at the bottom of the cliff this time._

_It was Peggy._

_Her brown hair was slowly turning red from the blood that escaped it at an alarming rate, her body bent in unnatural places. Her lifeless eyes were wide open as they stared up at the sky. At him. Without blinking, he saw her mouth begin to move, and he heard her voice._

_“Steve?”_

“Steve wake up! Steve! Darling, wake up!”

Steve bolted upright, breathing heavily and covered in his own sweat. It took him a moment to focus his vision in the dim lighting, but he knew Peggy was kneeling in front of him, her hand on his knee. He felt her other hand gently move his hair that had stuck to his forehead from the sweat and he closed his eyes to try to keep the tears at bay. 

“It was just a bad dream,” she whispered. “You’re alright, my darling,” she soothed. 

Steve opened his eyes to look at her, and he couldn’t help the ragged breath that he let out, or the tears that fell of their own accord. 

Peggy’s eyes grew in concern and she moved to sit beside him on the couch. She gently pulled him to her chest, and he instantly reacted by wrapping his arms around her waist and burying his face in the crook of her neck. Peggy’s heart broke as she heard and felt him cry into her, his entire body shaking. She tightened her grip around him, knowing that all she could do in this moment was just be there for him. 

Everyone had always thought Captain America to be this untouchable superhero. She agreed that he was a hero, but he was also a man underneath the shield. Steve had been through two lifetimes of hell, and even though he held himself together better than any man ever could, the years of war and loss had taken its toll. Peggy pressed her lips to the top of his head and kept them there, hoping that it would let him know that she was still there. That she would always be there. 

Eventually, his sobs gave way into ragged breaths. Those in turn subsided, though the pair remained in an airtight embrace, neither wanting to move. Though Steve’s grip on her had made it difficult to breathe, she knew that he needed this, and she would never dare deny him in his moment of vulnerability. 

“It wasn’t Nat,” he whispered after a few more minutes of silence. 

Peggy didn’t quite understand. Though he left out most of the details, he had told her of his friend who had died in an attempt to rectify the future, but she wasn’t sure what he meant by that “it wasn’t her”.

“It was her when she jumped off with Clint. She went over the cliff... but then I looked down... and it was you. You were the one lying there,” he continued after a few moments, his voice trembling. 

“I couldn’t protect you. Either of you. I failed,” he finished brokenly. 

Peggy felt her heart ache, and she whispered back to him. 

“You did no such thing. Steve, from what you’ve told me, you weren’t even present when it happened, and she made the decision herself. It was her choice,” she gently reminded him. “And as for me, I believe that I’m living proof that you haven’t failed me either. Even when I thought I’d lost you forever, I never once considered you anything but a hero, and a good man,” she finished firmly, yet in a soft tone. 

He didn’t say anything for a few minutes. Peggy rubbed soothing circles on his back and leaned her cheek against his head. 

“Thank you,” he whispered, kissing her shoulder gently. “Sorry for waking you,” he sighed. 

Peggy smiled softly and gently tilted his head up so he would see her genuine expression. 

“If I never slept again, it would be worth it knowing it was to help you,” she told him. 

He smiled ever so slightly and leaned his head up, kissing her lips in the most tender manner he had yet. It made Peggy’s heart melt. She didn’t dare move or breathe. Steve pulled away after a moment.

“I should let you sleep,” he quietly admitted. 

“I suppose we could both use the rest,” she agreed quietly. 

When she shifted herself to lean back on the couch, settling her head on the pillow, he looked at her with a confused expression on his face. Peggy rolled her eyes.

“I don’t want to leave you alone tonight, but you still refuse to sleep in my bed - God knows why - so I figure this is the solution. Don’t bother arguing, you know I’m right,” she told him. 

Steve’s mouth curled into a small smile. 

“Yes, ma’am,” he agreed quietly, laying down half on top of her and covering them with the blanket. When he rested his head on her chest, her hand found its way to his hair, gently scratching his head. Steve sighed and kissed her collarbone.

“Goodnight,” he murmured. 

“Goodnight, my darling.”

 

* * *

 

Peggy woke up feeling better rested than she had in months. However, when she couldn’t sit up, she quickly opened her eyes and looked down. She couldn’t help the fond smile that took over her mouth at the sight of Steve’s body wrapped up around hers. She couldn’t see his face from its resting place on her chest, but she noted the way his breathing was calm and even, one of his legs on top of both of hers, his arm laying across her body. He was at peace. She wished he could always be so.

She very tenderly began to play with his hair. Peggy had dreams that were similar to this. Waking up in his arms to the feeling his body against hers and the sun on her face. Even though the couch made for cramped quarters for two of them, she never wanted this moment to end. After all, she never thought that moments like this would be more than just dreams. 

Steve began to stir in his sleep. Peggy couldn’t help but notice that while he did so, his hold on her tightened, as if trying to pull her even closer. She looked up at the ceiling, smiling fondly. There was that giddiness again, she couldn’t help but think. 

She felt Steve’s lips press themselves gently against her collarbone. 

“Morning,” he mumbled.

“Good morning,” she said softly. “How are you feeling?”

“Better,” he replied, his voice losing the last remnants of sleep. She felt him kiss her collarbone again with the same gentleness as before. 

“I trust you slept well,” she inquired, still playing with his hair.

“Thanks to you,” he said quietly, gently kissing her neck.

Peggy bit her lip to contain her smile that was quickly growing. She never would have guessed that Steve would be so physically affectionate in the mornings. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured. “You’re perfect. And you’re so good to me,” he continued softly, kissing up her neck slowly after each sentence. Peggy could feel her heart picking up its pace.

“Steve,” she breathed out as his lips pressed against a particularly sensitive area. He stopped there and paid special attention to that spot on her neck. Her eyes fluttered shut. As Steve’s mouth became bolder in how it caressed the skin of her neck, he shifted so that his body was now completely on top of hers, only slightly hovering above her.

It was in this moment that Peggy realized just how bare she was in only her rose coloured night slip. In the panic of hearing Steve’s pained voice crying out last night she had completely forgone a robe. Now she didn’t know whether she should regret this or let herself enjoy the feeling of his mouth on her skin.

Steve kissed his way up to her face, and then gently kissed the corner of her mouth. Peggy couldn’t help but grin. 

“Tease,” she accused, opening her eyes to find his face directly above hers. A mischievous glint appeared in his eyes.

“Is that so, dear?”

Peggy barely had time to compose a retort before he was kissing her neck again with a new determination. She grinned and threaded one of her hands through his hair as he kissed his way down her neck, paying extra attention to where he had caused a particular reaction in her. He continued down to her collarbone, and stopped right in the middle of her chest at the edge of where her night slip started. He paused briefly, looking up at her with intense eyes that were asking for permission.

Peggy’s alarm clock rang before she got the chance to agree. Both of them groaned, though they remained in the same position. Peggy moved her hand to stroke Steve’s cheek. He sighed.

“You know, this is why I didn’t want to sleep in the bed with you. You’re so damn tempting,” he informed her, his voice slightly husky. Peggy couldn’t help but give him a mischievous smile.

“Is that really so terrible?”

“Not at all, “ he murmured, moving up to kiss her lips. Peggy smiled into his mouth and tried to chase his mouth as he pulled away, to no avail.

“But I want to do this right,” he admitted to her. Peggy couldn’t help but shake her head, though her smile betrayed how endearing she thought it was.

“My darling, you did right by me when you came back. Now we’re allowed to do this however we like. Nothing and no one getting in our way,” she attempted to assure him.

“Except a phone and an alarm clock,” Steve retorted. Peggy rolled her eyes, though she couldn’t help but smile.

“Speaking of which, I must turn that off before it drives me positively mad,” she complained, patting his bicep.

Steve shifted and let her slip out from underneath him. He couldn’t help but admire her figure as she walked off to her room. His eyes suddenly honed in on something on the back of her right shoulder.

Scars formed by bullet wounds.

Steve’s stomach churned in an involuntary protective instinct. He had to take a moment to calm himself down. Peggy was okay. He had nothing to worry about. She was okay. They were both okay.

As he sat up, he ran his hands over his face. Truth be told, he was slightly torn. He had chosen to come back for Peggy - if she would have him. He told himself that if she did, he would do everything right, not a single hair out of place, as he couldn’t risk doing anything stupid that would result in losing her again. Though it was easier said than done. Peggy had something about her that was so damn irresistible. Every time he thought he was fine she would give him a look and he’d want nothing more than to sweep her off her feet and take her to bed. He kept having to remind himself that that wouldn’t be appropriate at this point in their reunion, no matter how long he’d been dreaming of it.

Peggy Carter had always had a way of throwing a (welcome) wrench in his plans.

He hadn’t realized how long he had been sitting there lost in thought until Peggy reemerged with her hair and makeup done, wearing high-waisted black work pants and a white long-sleeve button down shirt. He felt his heart stutter. He knew that just the sight of her alone would always be enough to take his breath away.

“You alright?” She asked when he didn’t say anything after a few moments.

“With you here, how could I not be?” he said, clearly still awestruck.

Peggy smiled. She knew he meant it.

 

* * *

 

Peggy walked into the SSR, readying herself to take on every mound of information still left to cover in order to track Dottie Underwood, and any Leviathan affiliates that crossed her path. She nodded at the two agents - Davis and Smith - who just stepped out of the conference room where they had spent the night rifling through every detail. After discussing the matter further with Jack after her interrogation of Genevieve the day before, they both agreed that they needed to cover as much ground as quickly as possible, and had assigned her entire team shifts around the clock in order to try and piece everything together. They were both concerned that this could be the resurgence of Leviathan, who had gone underground again a few years ago following the Dark Matter incident in California. Leviathan had done a lot of damage, and they were both determined to shut it down for good this time.

“Davis, Smith,” she greeted as they made their way over to her desk. “I hope you’ve found something.”

“Not much that would seem to link to Underwood,” Smith reported. “But we may have found something else.”

“Well, what is it?” She inquired.

“You should see this for yourself,” Davis told her. Peggy nodded and followed them to the conference room, calling out to Ramirez as they passed by his desk, where he and Anderson were chatting over their coffee cups.

“Conference room, now.” 

Ramirez and Anderson gave her a confused look and followed the three of them into the room. Peggy closed the door. 

“We found this file in the middle of all of the others that pertains to a conditioning or training program of sorts,” Davis began. “It seems to outline part of a series of steps that were used as an experimentation process as to how to create the perfect assassin.”

“So it gives insight as to how the Red Room Academy conditions their women to be assassins?” Peggy asked.

“Well, no,” answered Davis. “You see, we compared what was in this file to all the information we have on the Red Room Academy, and it’s completely different. It’s still conditioning, but it outlines things like freezing showers as a punishment, and something called “stripping”, which isn’t explained in any further detail. There are also mentions of putting what they call “The Asset” - who we assume to be the subject of the conditioning in this particular file - to sleep using cryogenics to preserve their physical form for as long as possible in-between mission. None of this mentions anything about the methods we know the Red Room to use.”

“So then why come up with two conditioning methods that are both so intensive?” Ramirez asked. 

“That’s the main thing,” Smith said grimly. “Leviathan didn’t come up with it.”

“Then who did?” Peggy asked. 

Davis handed her the large closed file. Peggy’s blood ran cold as she saw in large red capital words, “HYDRA”, and their logo on the cover. 

She immediately opened the file and saw that the very first page was dated less than three months ago. 

“This is impossible,” she said in disbelief. “We took down the last HYDRA base in 1945. I was there.”

“I know, but it’s true. The file is incomplete in many places, but if you look through all of it, it seems like this particular project has been going on since at least the middle of the war,” Smith said. 

“Why would Leviathan have a recent HYDRA file?” Anderson questioned as Peggy kept staring at the date on the first page. 

“We’re not sure,” Davis answered. “We think they were either using the actions outlined in here to update their own conditioning methods, or they’re in bed with what remnants there are of HYDRA.”

Peggy looked up from the file.

“Either way, this proves that HYDRA is still active, and are building some sort of human weapon that can cause infinite more damage than any Red Room woman ever could. There are even mentions of physical enhancement in this file. Whether or not it’s related to Leviathan, we now have another major issue to look at,” she told them grimly. 

“How do we proceed?” Ramirez asked her. Peggy took a moment to consider. 

“First, we split our efforts. I’ll have the rest of the team keep searching for connecting clues relating to Dottie Underwood and Leviathan, while the five of us look more deeply into this. I’m not certain if Dottie or whoever was in the warehouse with her knows that this file was lost within the mess they made. It’s a good chance it’s part of their plan, but if they don’t know about this file, it means we still have the element of surprise. Either way, we can’t ignore this, and no one outside ourselves must know,” she told them.

“What about the Chief?” Anderson asked. 

“I’ll inform him of what’s happening. Meanwhile, Ramirez and Anderson, you look through the remainder of these files and pull out any that seem like they could pertain to HYDRA and their assassin project. Be discreet. Davis and Smith, you have done excellent work. You both get home and rest. I’ll keep you updated with any new developments.”

Both Davis and Smith looked at her gratefully and thanked her. When they left the room Peggy turned to Ramirez and Anderson. 

“I’ll keep you in here alone while you look for more evidence about HYDRA’s resurgence until we are certain there’s nothing left that can be discovered by another agent. I’ll rejoin you after I speak to the Chief. It looks like Davis and Smith were able to get through most of it, but until we’re certain there’s nothing else I don’t want to run the risk of someone else finding out. The less people that know, the easier it will be for us to look for HYDRA in the shadows.”

“You got it, boss,” Ramirez agreed. Peggy smiled at him. 

Ramirez was another one who had made a lot of progress in his acceptance of her. Since their trip to Russia in 1946, she had gained his respect as a soldier, and after her investigation regarding Howard Stark had turned up the existence of Leviathan and Howard’s innocence, as an agent as well. Anderson had joined the SSR sometime while she had transferred to California, but his close friendship that he developed with Ramirez since meant that he had learned all about Peggy before she had returned to the New York Branch, and through their missions together also had gained immense respect for her.

Peggy walked into Chief Thompson’s office, where he looked up from his paperwork. 

“What can I do for you, Carter?”

Peggy closed the door. 

“We have a situation,” she told him grimly. 

“Seems like we’re always having a situation lately,” he sighed as he noted the tone in her voice. 

After she finished recounting everything that Davis and Smith has discovered, along with her own analysis of the situation and what her current plan was, Jack looked at her as though he had aged five years. 

“And here I thought HYDRA had died with the war,” he muttered.

“We both did, Chief,” Peggy said flatly. “But now we have a chance to completely destroy them before they have the chance to fully come out of the shadows,” she continued firmly

“I agree. Keep me updated as things come up,” he told her. Peggy raised an eyebrow at him. 

“That’s all? No modifications or suggestions?” She asked, hiding her disbelief. 

“I told you that next time I’d do as Peggy says,” he told her simply. 

“You should consider making that the motto of the office,” she suggested, a playful glint in her eye. 

“Don’t push it, Carter,” he warned her, but his eyes gave him away.

With a new fire in her entire being, Peggy headed toward the conference room, determined to fight two wars at once.

And win.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think the nightmare/next morning scene in this chapter was my favourite to write so far.
> 
> Also, in regards to what Steve has told Peggy about the future, she knows his general story (there was a battle in New York shortly after he first woke up, years later there was a powerful enemy that caused so much damage they couldn't fix it for five years and only then because of time travel, etc.). She knows Natasha's name as well as a few other of the Avengers, but mostly he's kept it really vague because he still doesn't really know how his travelling back in time has affected the timeline/if this is really a new timeline, but that's something I plan on going into a bit more later. She definitely doesn't know anything about herself, or Bucky.
> 
> Hope you enjoy! Please let me know what you think, it really helps me know what's working and what's not.


	4. The Tradition of Grief

**May 6th, 1945 - HYDRA Headquarters, Swiss Alps**

_“I gotta put her in the water.”_

_Peggy’s blood ran cold at Steve’s words. Clearly he wasn’t thinking straight, there was another way they could do this._

_“Please don’t do this, we have enough time, we can work it out,” she attempted to reason, running through every possible solution in her head._

_“Right now I’m in the middle of nowhere. If I wait any longer, a lot of people are gonna die,” he insisted, not a trace of doubt in his voice._

_Without a doubt in her entire being, Captain Steve Rogers was a good man. The best man she’d ever known. He’d always do anything to protect people. She knew this._

_That didn’t make this hurt any less._

_“Peggy… this is my choice,” he added when she didn’t respond._

_She hated how confident he sounded as he used her words against her. She knew that he had all the reason. He was doing the right thing, making the same choice she would have if she were in his place._

_“Peggy,” he called for her._

_“I’m here,” she assured. She took a breath, knowing that she needed to keep her composure. For him._

_“I’m gonna need a rain cheque on that dance,” he told her._

_She almost laughed out loud. Of all the things he could say while on the brink of his death, this is what he thought was most important. Their dance._

_“Alright. A week, next Saturday at the Stork Club,” she told him._

_“You got it,” he promised. She knew he hadn’t convinced either of them, but he sounded damn determined to make it._

_How badly she wanted him to._

_“8 o’ clock on the dot. Don’t you dare be late. Understood?” she ordered. As though if he promised her again, maybe he would actually be there._

_“You know, I still don’t know how to dance,” he admitted._

_Peggy’s entire soul ached with longing. Even though he had never danced, she knew he was her right partner. He always had been._

_“I’ll show you how. Just be there,” she told him, her voice now beginning to waver as she edged the line between speaking and pleading._

_“We’ll have the band play something slow. I’d hate to step on your-”_

_His voice disappeared and was replaced by static. Her heart dropped, body trembling._

_Though she knew it was coming, their last moments over the radio did nothing to prepare her for this inevitable end. She couldn’t lose him. Not now. Not when he owed her a dance._

_Not when he didn’t even finish his sentence._

_“Steve?” she asked brokenly, silently pleading his voice to reappear. When there was no response she tried again, barely able to choke back her sobs._

_“Steve?”_

_Before she could try again a third time, the static slowly morphed into a telephone sound._

_Her telephone in her apartment._

 

**May 6th, 1949 - Peggy Carter’s Apartment, Brooklyn, NY**

Peggy’s eyes snapped open and she sat up straight as an arrow as she woke up breathing heavily from her nightmare. Tears were streaming down her face as she looked around her room quickly. After a moment, she realized that the phone that was ringing in her dream was her own phone. She quickly got out of bed and ran to pick it up. Though her nightmare had left her feeling disoriented, she knew what day it was and who was calling. She couldn’t miss it.

“Hello, Howard,” she she answered quietly, though her heavy breathing gave her away.

She could feel the heaviness in the air between them.

“Hey Peg,” Howard replied. He maintained an uplifted tone, though Peggy could tell he was tired. Neither one of them ever tended to sleep well, if at all on this night.

“How’d you know it was me?” he joked.

Peggy couldn’t help but smile slightly, allowing herself to lean against the arm of the couch.

“Oh haven’t I told you? I’ve recently acquired mind-reading capabilities,” she teased.

Hearing his small laugh helped lift her spirits somewhat. After a few moments he spoke again.

“Another nightmare?” he asked.

Peggy nodded, though she knew he couldn’t see him.

“Same one. Though - you’ll find this hilarious - the static that I always hear at the end? It turned into the bloody telephone ringing,” she let out a half-laugh at the ridiculousness of it. She quickly choked back the sob that was threatening to follow it.

Peggy could hear Howard let out a single laugh at the thought.

“Figured you were sleeping since it took you so long to answer,” he told her.

“Yes well don't be too jealous, it wasn’t a pleasant sleep,” she sighed, running a hand through her hair. Her breathing was only just beginning to settle, and she wiped her tears. She had always despised how this day continuously threw her back to one of the worst moments of her life, and how little it made her feel.

“We still on for tonight?” Howard asked.

“I wouldn’t miss it,” Peggy assured him firmly.

“I’ll pick you up at 8,” he confirmed.

“Don’t be late,” she said with more softness than she intended.

“I wouldn’t dare. Not tonight,” Howard promised her gently.

She heard the line go dead and she took a breath before putting the phone down.

“How’d you know it was Howard calling?”

Steve’s voice caused Peggy to jump up. She stared at him with wide eyes as he emerged from the kitchen, cup of coffee in hand. In all the madness of her nightmare and Howard’s phone call, she had actually managed to forget he was here. He must have gotten up sometime after the phone rang and before she had went to answer it. Peggy didn’t know if she wanted to laugh or cry more.

“May 3rd, 1945,” she said, her voice shaking. 

Steve looked at her in concern. Peggy hadn’t asked him about a date in two days.

“I was at camp, it was nearly dawn,” he began nonetheless.

 

**May 3rd, 1945**

_Steve had wandered over to a nearby hill in the early hours of the day, just far enough from the base that he knew he could sit in peace, while still having a perfect view of the camp should anything happen. Their next mission was the biggest one yet, and the most important one. Though nothing was certain, if they won this, he had a gut feeling that the war would be theirs. It wasn’t long now._

_His eyes squinted at a figure approaching him. He smiled as he realized that it was Peggy._

_“Hey,” he said softly as she sat beside him._

_“What are you doing out here at this hour?” she asked him._

_“Same as you. Couldn’t sleep,” he told her. She smiled a bit and nodded in agreement._

_“We’re nearly there,” she answered simply._

_“You nervous?” He asked her after a few moments of silence._

_“If nervousness was the dictating factor for all action, we wouldn’t have gotten nearly this far,” she answered diplomatically._

_Steve smiled knowingly at her._

_“Me too,” he replied. Peggy’s face softened and she gave him a sincere smile, then looked out at the camp._

_Steve couldn’t help but take the opportunity to admire her. The way her eyes were filled with thoughts that he only wished he could read, her hair blowing ever so slightly in the breeze, how though it was chilly for a May morning, she showed no signs of being cold save for the slight chill that ran through her body._

_Noticing her shiver, Steve took off his military jacket and draped it around Peggy’s shoulders. She rolled her eyes, but he could see corners of her mouth turn up the slightest bit. Peggy Carter was extremely prideful, but he noticed that when they were alone, she would allow them moments like these. When she would let her guard down and let him get close. Her trust and ease around him was something that he never took lightly._

_“Look,” she told him, interrupting his thoughts._

_Steve followed her gaze to the camp, where the first hints of the sun were beginning to creep up over the horizon. He heard Peggy sigh softly before she rested her head on his shoulder. Steve felt as though his heart would hammer its way out of his chest. He put his arm around her and felt her relax into him. He took it as a good sign, and leaned his cheek against the top of her head._

_As they looked out at the sunrise together, they both dreamed of a new world that they would share._

_If they could just get through the next few days._

 

**Present Day**

Peggy felt herself calm down as Steve told the story of one of their last nights together. It was a simple moment, yet one that she would desperately cling onto for more than four years following its occurrence.

“Thank you,” she said quietly, running a hand through her hair. She cleared her throat, trying to regain her composure. 

“As for how I knew it was Howard calling, he always calls first thing today,” she explained.

“What’s today?” Steve asked, clearly confused.

“May 6th,” Peggy replied simply, not looking him in the eye.

His eyebrows furrowed momentarily until he realized fully what that day meant.

“Peggy,” he said quietly in realization.

“On the first anniversary of your death,” she said, wanting to speak before he had the chance to apologize. “I was awoken to the sound of the phone ringing. It was Howard. When I answered he simply said: ‘I’m not calling to ask you if you’re alright, because I know you’re not. I’m calling you because I’m also not alright, and I thought that maybe if I talked to you, we would both feel slightly less… like this.”

She closed her eyes, causing a few tears to fall. So much for any remaining composure.

“We stayed on the phone in silence, until I thanked him for calling. He thanked me for answering the phone, and we both just hung up. I thought that would be the last of it,” she finally looked up at Steve, who was gazing at her intently, his eyes filled with sorrow.

“What happened?” he asked her gently.

“I came home from work - very late, I might add - to find Howard waiting for me. He was upset that I’d made him wait so long, though he never bothered to tell me he was coming over, mind you. He said that we needed to eat dinner together, because neither of us should be alone.

I got extremely angry at him. It was completely uncalled for, but I wasn’t thinking straight. I had had the worst day. The entire nation was mourning you so your face was on every surface and you were being spoken about incessantly on every radio station, and I kept getting these godawful comments from all the men I work with… so I told Howard that I wanted to be left alone. He didn’t appreciate that of course, and we… well we had some words.”

 

**May 6th, 1946**

“ _Peggy, that’s not fair,” Howard said as he barred her from closing the door on him._

_“Don’t you dare lecture me on what’s fair, Howard,” she bit out, grateful that Colleen was working the night shift._

_“So what then? You’re just going to forget him? Ignore what he was to us?” he accused._

_“Of course not! I just can’t deal with it right now. Not today,” she pleaded._

_“Peg, this day is here and happening right now, and it is going to keep coming every year and it will only get more painful unless you deal with it,” he attempted to reason with her, though she could tell he was quite angry and her treatment of him was only serving to make his mood worse._

_“Thank you for the therapy session Howard, but that is the last thing I need right now,” she mocked._

_“Goddammit Peggy, I need you to just open up about this instead of brushing me off like the ice queen your coworkers think you are!”_

_“Stop,” she warned him, her eyes narrowing._

_“I need you to stop acting like you’re the only one who ever cared about him, because newsflash, you weren’t! He meant something to all of us and that didn’t mean you were more important to him than anyone, because at the end of the day, it wasn’t like you were even married!”_

_Both of them froze at Howard’s words. They both knew he went too far. As Peggy calculated her next move, Howard held his stance, though there was a significantly larger amount of fear in his eyes._

_“You want to talk, Howard? Fine, let’s talk about fairness and need, shall we? Let’s talk about how you are showing no respect for my grieving process. Forgive me, if I am not shouting from the rooftops about how much I love him and miss him, because even though I don’t say it out loud, it’s what makes every single bloody day harder to live through, knowing that he’s not here. It’s not fair that we lived and the best thing to happen to this country is gone._

_What I need is for everyone to stop judging me or pitying me or even looking my way every bloody time his name is mentioned. What I need is for him to be here!”_

_Peggy breathed heavily at the end of her tirade, her cheeks flushed in anger. She was exhausted and it was getting harder to keep back her tears, which had been kept at bay the entire day._

_“I know,” Howard said eventually in a soft, hollow voice. “But unfortunately, I’m all you’ve got.”_

_The weight of Howard’s words came crashing down on her, and Peggy couldn’t help the tears that began to flow, and the sobs that overcame her body. Howard held her and cried with her, both of them clinging tightly to each other as though the other might disappear._

 

**Present Day**

Peggy quickly shook off the memory and continued.

“Howard helped me realize that I really only had him and - as much as it pained me to admit that he was right - I needed him. We needed each other. We were the only two people alive on earth who knew what it was like to know you that personally and love you that much.

Well, anyway, a tradition was born. Every year, Howard calls me first thing, and then we get dinner together at the same place. We considered changing it last year but really, no one has better fondue in the city,” she finished somewhat casually.

“Fondue?” Steve crinkled his nose, causing Peggy to smile fondly.

“It was Howard’s idea. The fondue was one of your more impressionable moments, I suppose,” Peggy shrugged.

“Of course,” Steve replied, as though it was obvious, though he clearly was still not impressed with the food choice.

Peggy looked at him for a moment and reached out her hand. He set down the mug he was holding and immediately crossed to her and took it, kissing it gently. She was so grateful for him to have given her space until she asked for it. Even with so much time apart he still knew her so well.

“Thank you, for letting me just… get through all that, especially out of nowhere. I know it was a lot,” she said softly.

“Of course, dear,” he said softly, pausing for a moment before continuing. “I’m sorry I caused you both so much pain.”

“You were doing what was right. No one can fault you for that,” she told him firmly.

“I know,” he said reluctantly. 

“Besides, you came back, and you’re here now,” she continued. 

She pulled him into her arms and rested her head on his chest. Steve nuzzled his nose into her hair and wrapped her arms around her. They stayed like that for a while until Peggy reluctantly pulled away to get ready for work. Steve watched her disappear into her bedroom and walked over to the bathroom to clean himself up. As he washed his face, he thought of Peggy and Howard, and what his absence had meant to them. He had missed them terribly and knew that they were obviously saddened by his disappearance, but seeing Peggy’s grief in action had been a harsh reality. At the end of it all, he was glad that she and Howard had each other in his absence.

Peggy walked out a little while later in her black work heels, a white button-down blouse, and royal blue pencil skirt and matching blazer, holding her red hat in her hand. 

Steve turned to her when he heard her clicking heels approach and felt himself lose his breath when he laid eyes on her. Peggy was an absolute vision in red, white and blue. 

“Peggy, you’re beautiful. Wow,” he stammered.

She gave him a large smile.

“Like what you see?” she teased.

“Very much so. Always,” he smiled, reaching for her and pulling her to him gently by the hat she was still holding. She smiled as he wrapped his arms around her.

Peggy used her free hand to cup the back of his neck and pull him to her, kissing him deeply. She felt his arms around her tighten and without pulling away, she set her hat on the counter and then placed that now free hand on his cheek. 

When she finally pulled away for air, Steve leaned their foreheads together, both of them smiling softly. After a few moments, Peggy nuzzled their noses together and moved her head back so she could look at Steve.

“We need to tell Howard,” she said quietly.

Steve froze for a moment. 

“Yeah, we already agreed that we would,” Steve replied slowly.

“I mean tonight,” she clarified. “He’s coming here to pick me up. You just need to show him you’re here,” she continued, voice still gentle.

“We said we would wait a bit more,” he reminded her, his voice cautious.

Peggy pulled back almost completely. 

“Why?” she asked. 

Peggy knew it was Steve’s decision and she respected it, however that didn’t mean that she understood it. 

“Darling, this day is so hard and if we could save him even a little bit of grief we should. At least think about it,” she pleaded.

Steve took in Peggy’s wide brown eyes that were filled with sadness for their friend. He sighed, torn between his personal trepidation and wanting to help both Peggy and Howard’s spirits.

“Let me think about it?” he asked softly. The way Peggy nodded, even though it was small, eased his guilt ever so slightly.

“That’s all I ask.”

She then looked at the clock and sighed. “Now I am sorry to rush off darling, but I’ll be damned if I’m late for work today of all days,” she said as she walked over to grab her purse. Steve grabbed her hat from the counter and followed her.

“I understand. Now go and save the world,” he said, placing the hat on her head. 

Peggy smiled and kissed his cheek.

“Yes, sir,” she replied cheekily. “Tell Mr. and Mrs. Johnson I say hi,” she told him, picking up her purse and heading out the door.

 

* * *

 

As Peggy walked briskly to work, she tried to avoid the variety of posters and newspapers that surrounded her which were covered in Steve’s face - which was extremely difficult considering that they were everywhere. Though it was the least intense it had ever been, the nation still publicly mourned the loss of its greatest hero. Though this day flooded her with reminders of events and feelings she has been trying to cope with for years, Peggy’s only - and greatest - solace this year was her knowledge that he was alive. Not only that, he had willingly chosen to return to her even after living for so many years in the future.

_Chin up, Carter_ , she repeated to herself internally like a mantra as she passed by the security guards at the front of the _New York Bell Co._ doors. The way they said good morning, voices dripping with pity irked her more than she knew it should have. She took a breath and walked by the row of phone operators. Vivien, the operator who replaced Rose after her transfer to California, looked up at her and gave her a soft smile.

“Morning, Peggy,” she said gently.

“Morning, Vivien,” Peggy replied politely. She thanked the stars that Vivien knew not to ask or press for how she was feeling, and that her pity was kept to a visible minimum. Without another word, Vivien let her in.

Peggy took a deep breath and steeled herself as she entered the bullpen. She hated the way the room became silent, and how every set of eyes blatantly stared at her as she crossed toward her desk. She set down her purse and hat on her desk, and only then the agents slowly resumed their conversations. She let out her breath, not realizing that she had been holding it this entire time. 

Some things never did change.

As she set about sifting through some of the leads on HYDRA and Leviathan that they had uncovered the last few days, Peggy’s ears burned as she overhead two of the newer agents, who unfortunately reminded her of Jack Thompson when he first started in the SSR, speak in hushed tones.

“I mean it’s blatant favouritism. You fuck America’s Golden Boy and suddenly you’re supposed to be this “respected” agent? I don't buy it,” the taller blond scoffed.

“It’s probably because the Chief also wants to get with her. It’s obviously the only reason he speaks so highly of her. Do you really think a dame could pull off even half of what he says she has?” the redhead scoffed.

“Not even a bit of it. But hey, being Captain America’s girlfriend gets you anything you want,” the blond rolled his eyes.

“So does opening your legs for your superiors,” the other joked.

As they both laughed, Peggy’s blood boiled, and she gripped the papers in her hands. Before she knew what she was doing, she slammed the papers down on her desk.

“Do either of you have something you would like to say to my face?” she asked coldly in their direction. Both of them looked up at her, looking her up and down.

“Yeah, you want to grab us a refill, sweetheart?” the blond asked, referring to the empty cups of coffee they were both holding.

Peggy narrowed her eyes and took a breath.

“You boys clearly have a lot to learn. First thing on the list, I’ll show you where we keep the coffee maker _and_ how to pour the coffee into your own cups, just to make sure we cover all our bases, hmm?” she said, her voice dripping in sarcasm.

“Listen, where do you get off-”

“Peters, Brown, knock it off,” Thompson warned from the doorway of his office, having heard the whole thing, unbeknownst to the three agents.

“Yes, Chief,” both men replied in unison, rolling their eyes at Peggy and walking off.

“Agent Carter, may I have a word?”

“Of course, Chief,” Peggy replied. She smoothed her skirt out as a way to try and contain her anger, and walked into Thompson’s office, where he closed the door behind her.

“Chief Thompson, if I may-”

“Just hold a second, Peggy,” he interrupted her. The use of her first name slightly threw her off as he normally just called her by her last name when they were at work. “How are you?”

“I beg your pardon?” Peggy said, a bit surprised that he sounded so gentle.

“Peggy, I know what day it is, and I know how people around here act today. I just want to know how you’re holding up,” he explained.

Peggy’s mouth made a silent “o” shape and she nodded slowly. “I’d be better if everyone stopped asking me how I was doing,” she said sincerely.

“Understandable… and hey, if you need to, take the day,” he offered. 

“That’s very kind of you, Jack, but I have yet to take this day off, and I do not intend to start now,” she said firmly.

Jack nodded, smiling at her predictable answer.

“I figured as much. You’re a tough one. But I know how grief works, and anniversaries are especially hard. Some years are okay, and for no reason, some years can be especially tough,” he explained sincerely.

Peggy gave him a small smile and nodded. “I think I can genuinely say that this year has been the least bad year of them all,” she told him.

“Glad to hear it. Now get back out there, Carter, and try not to bite those guys’ heads off completely, will you? We both know they’re assholes and you can take ‘em in your sleep, but they’re good field agents, and they’ll learn their place soon enough,” he assured her.

She couldn’t help but give Jack a soft smile. He had really come a long way since their first days in the SSR together.

“I can try, but if they say even one more thing pertaining to myself or Captain Rogers, I can’t keep any promises. Especially not today,” she told him firmly.

Jack nodded in understanding. “Deal.”

Peggy walked out of his office, and for a moment, she felt more prepared to take on the rest of the day.

 

* * *

 

The rest of the day, though rather uneventful - as she found out that most of their leads were either dead or simply useless - was filled with more pitying looks and _how are you’s,_ which although they were well-meaning, made her have to appease them with the standard polite responses and short conversations. 

Truthfully, she was more exhausted by it than anything. Other than a select few - mostly her HYDRA investigation team and Jack, no one ever talked to her as much as they did on this day, if they ever did at all, and they only did so because she was involved with Captain America, not because they really cared about her. She kept having to remind herself that Steve was at home waiting for her in order to get through the day.

On her walk home, Peggy overheard a certain theme music and she stopped dead in her tracks.

_“In honour of the fourth anniversary of hero Captain America’s death, we have a new, special episode of The Captain America Adventure Program right here, of a never-before heard fight between…”_

Peggy stopped listening and clenched her fists.

“Really?” she muttered to herself as she picked up her pace on her walk home. She really needed to see Steve.

 

* * *

 

Steve had spent most of the morning washing the dishes and thoroughly cleaning up the apartment. He hated that he had forgotten what day it was, and though he knew there wasn’t much he could do, he was going to do everything in his power to make it as least painful as possible for Peggy.

He then walked over to Peggy’s neighbour’s apartment, and knocked on the door, where he was greeted by Mrs. Johnson. She was an elderly woman with kind, brown eyes, and a warm smile. Behind her was her husband, who had bright green eyes, though he lacked hair on his head. He greeted Steve with a wide smile. Peggy had run into them the day before on her way to work, and they told her all about how their kitchen sink had been leaking but that they couldn’t afford a plumber, and both of them were wary to try and maneuver themselves under the sink at their age. 

Peggy had known them since the day she moved into her apartment. They had noticed her moving what little belongings she had alone, and they almost immediately invited her over for dinner that same night. She felt bad refusing considering, and as it turned out, during dinner they bonded more than she was expecting. Since then she had made a point to check up on them if she went more than a week without seeing them. They were extremely kind and Peggy had grown fond of them. Hearing of their troubles, she immediately told them of her friend who would be able to help. 

 

* * *

  

_“How did you know I could fix a leaking sink?” Steve had asked her that night when she told him._

_“I didn’t,” she replied, not looking up from the files she had taken home. “But they need help and you’re bored, so I figured if you didn’t, you’d learn,” she shrugged._

_He couldn’t argue with that logic. Besides, he really neededto get out of the apartment._

 

* * *

  

“Oh you must be Peggy’s fella!” Mrs. Johnson exclaimed, inviting Steve into the apartment. 

“Friend, sweetheart. He’s Peggy’s friend,” Mr. Johnson corrected. Steve couldn’t help but smile as his wife rolled her eyes as if to say ‘whatever’.

“I’m Gloria, and this is my husband Gerry,” she told Steve.

Steve smiled. “It’s lovely to meet you both,” he told them, holding Peggy’s toolbox in his hand as he shook Gerry’s hand with his free one.

“It was so kind of you to come over and fix our sink,” Gloria told him as she lead him to the kitchen.

“It was my pleasure,” he replied, leaning on his back as he began to work.

“How did you meet our Peggy?” Gloria asked as she and her husband took a seat at the dining table.

“During the war. She was at the camp I was first assigned to. Our paths kept crossing for the next two years,” he said as he popped out to rummage through the toolbox.

“You must know then that Peggy is a tough one. She’s told us about her war adventures. She’s quite a hero” Gerry said. 

“She sure is,” Steve replied with a smile.

“I don’t know if I’ve heard her mention you before,” Gloria said casually. Steve held back a fond laugh. Though Peggy had always teased him at how terrible of a spy he was, he knew that at least he wasn’t this transparent.

“I… we got separated after the war. I’ve only just found my way back,” he told them before diving under the sink again. 

The best lies were the ones hidden in truths, Nat had told him once.

The answer seemed to satisfy Gloria, and she and her husband continued on chatting and telling him about themselves, figuring it would make it easier for him to work if he was only listening and not talking. After a little while, he popped up from under the sink.

“That should do it,” he said. He turned the sink on and let it run, before turning it off again and waiting. When there was no more leakage, he smiled to himself. 

“Thank you so much, dear. Here, please stay for lunch,” Gloria said.

“I couldn’t impose,” Steve said, slightly taken aback by their brazen friendliness despite Peggy’s warning.

“Nonsense,” Gerry said. “You fixed our sink, it’s the least we can do,” he insisted.

“You wouldn’t want to break an old woman’s heart, would you?” Gloria asked, clearly trying to guilt him.

“No, ma’am,” he answered with a smile. “I’d love to stay for lunch.”

“Perfect! And none of this ‘ma’am’ nonsense. My name is Gloria and you’ll call me as such,” she told him, patting his arm as she walked by him to serve up their plates.

Steve’s smile grew and excused himself to wash his hands.

Lunch was… normal. Domestic. Steve truly enjoyed their company. He could understand why Peggy had such a soft spot for her neighbours. They were both extremely sweet, but also clever and witty. They made him feel like he was family.

“How about some music, hmm?” Gerry suggested when they were done with their food.

At Steve’s agreement, he turned on the radio, only for the music to be interrupted soon after by an voice wishing to pay respects to the nation’s fallen hero, Captain America.

Steve turned his head to the radio and listened as the man went on to list Steve’s missions and his impact in the second World War. Before it was even halfway finished, Gerry had turned the radio to another station. Relieved that there was simply music, Steve allowed himself to breathe properly again.

“It’s a shame, he was a great man,” Gerry noted. 

“Also a shame how difficult it is to go through this day without being reminded of it at every corner,” Gloria added offhandedly. 

Though Steve had an inkling her word choice had something to do with Peggy, he chose not to comment on it and instead let Gerry go on about his own days when he served back in World War I, but Steve was now having trouble paying attention.

He wanted to tell Howard he was alive. He was going to. He didn’t know why he was so anxious about it every time Peggy brought it up. Howard could keep a secret, and they had been so close during the war.

His mind then wandered to Tony, the son who wasn’t even born yet, and who definitely hadn’t died yet. But he did die, and not very long ago. Steve almost let out a hollow laugh as he finally realized the source of his caution regarding revealing himself to Howard.

How could he face Howard knowing that he wasn’t able to save his son?

Steve shook his head slightly. He had lived more years knowing Howard was dead than alive, he had spent more time being Tony’s friend than Howard’s. But he had failed Howard just as much as he failed Tony, and that was what was keeping him from being able to take the next step in his new life.

The radio began another tribute to Captain America, and Gerry turned it off.

“Enough of that,” he said as Gloria cleared their empty plates. “Peggy will probably be home soon. We’d hate to keep you from her,” he continued with a twinkle in his eye. Steve briefly wondered if they had any suspicion that they were currently living together.

“I must confess I hate being without her,” Steve told them as he grabbed the toolbox, causing Gloria to give him pointed look, though she didn’t say anything about it.

“Thank you again,” Gloria said.

“I’m just glad I could help. Truly,” he replied.

“What did you say your name was?” Gerry asked as he shook Steve’s hand. 

Steve froze for a moment.

“I, uh, I didn’t,” he realized out loud.

“Grant,” he told them after a moment of consideration. 

“Nice meeting you, Grant,” Gloria said. “I’m sure we’ll be seeing you around.”

Upon returning to his and Peggy’s apartment, he put away the toolbox and looked at the time. Peggy would indeed be home soon, most likely in a sour mood considering how much tributes to his life was going around, if the radio was any indication. He paused and looked at the radio. Allowing curiosity to get the better of him, Steve turned it on.

_“We are back with The Captain America Adventure Program.”_

Now this was interesting. Steve sat down on the couch.

_“When we last left our hero, Captain America and the 107th Regiment had just gone off on a scouting mission, leaving Betty Carver, their triage nurse, alone to cook their lunch for their return.”_

Steve frowned. Betty Carver? Triage nurse? Cooking lunch? He didn’t like where that was going. An airy female voice interrupted his thoughts.

_“Oh what a beautiful day. I hope Captain America and the 107th Regiment are back soon. I would hate for their food to get cold before they have a chance to eat it, and it’s the Captain’s favourite, no less” she sighed._

Steve couldn’t help but laugh at that. He couldn’t tell what was worse - the writing or the acting.

_“Where is Captain America?” an terrible German accent came on._

_“Oh no, Nazi’s, again!”_

As the program continued, Steve couldn’t help but laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. He didn’t know where to begin. If they were out scouting, either it was half of them while the other half stayed at the camp, or all of them - including Peggy. Even if she had been left behind alone, she would have beaten all of the Nazi’s singlehandedly before the Howling Commandos had the chance to return. This show was filled with more terrible tropes than the god awful stage show he had to do back in his early days post-serum.

He heard the door open and a pair of heels walk in.

“Hello my darling, I’m-”

Peggy’s voice stopped abruptly and Steve looked over, seeing her face darkening. 

“Peggy?” Steve asked, concerned by her seemingly abrupt change in demeanour.

_“Oh Captain! Thank goodness you’re here!”_

Peggy groaned loudly and stormed over to the radio.

“Why does this happen every time? Every single damn time?” she muttered loudly as she turned off the radio. She felt as though she was losing her mind. 

“Peggy?” Steve asked again, but Peggy continued on as though she hadn’t heard him.

“It is bad enough that that program itself is rubbish, and stupefyingly inaccurate, but the stereotype it perpetuates is just disgusting, as if a woman can’t take care of herself and is nothing more than a _useless damsel_ to be saved over and over again! And truly, _Betty Carver_? Everyone in the SSR knows who that’s supposed to be. Which works out perfectly well I suppose, considering that all I am to them is _Captain America’s girlfriend_ , anyway!”

Peggy threw her purse down and sat on the couch beside Steve, setting her elbows on her thighs and covering her face.

She felt a hand on her shoulder and she felt herself calm slightly. She knew that she had lost her temper but she was sick of this day and what it continuously brought up, Peggy hadn’t expected to hear one of her greatest sources of irritation in the one place she thought she’d be safe from all of it. She slowly looked up at Steve and sighed.

“I’m sorry. I’m not angry at you, I promise… It’s just been a day,” she said quietly.

Steve took her hands in his. “I know, I’m sorry,” he said softly, his eyes full of understanding.

“You didn’t write the damn program, Steve,” Peggy reassured him.

Steve shook his head and voiced his earlier thoughts out loud to her. “No, but I’d like to talk to the person who thinks Betty Carver couldn’t punch out any Nazi who crosses her path.”

Peggy couldn’t help but laugh a bit. “Goodness I’ve missed you,” she told him.

“I’ve missed you too,” Steve said gently. 

He kissed her and all remaining tension in her body melted away. She immediately responded, wrapping her arms around his neck. Steve pulled her closer so that she was now sitting on his lap, resting his hands on her waist. 

When Steve pulled away, Peggy’s lips followed his, not quite wanting to break the connection, no matter how out of breath she was.

He couldn’t help but smile, nuzzling their noses together.

“You’re my dream come true,” he whispered to her.

“And you’re mine, my darling,” Peggy whispered back, stroking his cheek with her thumb. “I thank the stars every day that you came back to me.”

“I couldn’t leave my best girl,” he told her as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

To him, it was.

Peggy couldn't help but kiss him again. Steve responded enthusiastically, moving his hands down to her hips and squeezing them gently. As the kiss became more passionate, Peggy moved to straddle Steve’s lap, her hands in his hair. After a few minutes, Peggy pulled away for air.

“Hi,” he said breathlessly.

“Hi,” she whispered back. Right as she leaned in to reunite their lips, the phone rang, causing them both to jump.

“Bloody Nora,” Peggy cursed, grabbing the phone.

“This is Carter,” she answered the phone, slightly breathless. Steve began to kiss her neck gently.

“Hey Peg,” Howard greeted softly.

“Howard. Yes, hi,” she replied, patting Steve’s shoulder, causing him to pull his mouth away from her neck. For a moment, she had completely forgotten about her annual dinner with Howard.

“You okay? You sound out of breath.”

“Oh I - I just got held up at the SSR and had to hurry home. I’ve only just arrived,” she lied, making her feel terrible.

“I was just calling you to let you know I’m on my way,” Howard said. Peggy couldn’t tell whether or not he believed her. Even if he didn’t, this was the one day she could guarantee that he wouldn’t pry more than necessary.

“Perfect, I’ll be ready by the time you arrive,” she told him.

“Can’t wait, Peg,” he said, sounding so genuine it hurt her to remember that she was still lying to him.

“Me either. I’ll see you soon,” she promised before hanging up. She let out an audible breath and looked at Steve, who’s lap she was still straddling.

“I’m sorry my darling, I have to get ready,” she apologized, gently pushing his hair out of his face.

“Don’t worry, I understand. Now quit apologizing and go make yourself decent,” Steve teased. Peggy’s jaw dropped slightly, though the smile that crept onto her lips gave her away.

“If I am currently anything less than decent, it is all because of you, Captain Rogers,” she informed him as she stood up.

“Good,” he replied, a playful glint in his eye. Peggy bit her lip and winked at him. If she put a bit more sway in her hips as she walked off to get changed, well, it wasn’t her fault if he noticed - which she knew that he did. 

As Steve sat there on the couch, cooling himself off, he couldn’t help but think of Peggy’s outburst caused by the day that she had. Even remaining solely within this apartment and the one next door, it was clear to him how widespread the coverage was of his death. He was everywhere, and for Peggy to have to endure that, on top of the way the agents of the SSR were treating her, it made him feel angry and sad that she wasn’t allowed to grieve properly. Even now when she should be free of it, she was still lying to everyone around her, for his sake.

And the sake of the timeline, he begrudged.

A few minutes later, Peggy walked out of the room, drawing his attention to her. She had fixed her makeup and changed into a dark pink short-sleeve dress that went just past her knees. She had swapped out her usual brown purse for a smaller black one, and matching evening heels. 

“What’s the matter?” Peggy asked him, making him realize that he had been blatantly staring.

“Nothing at all,” he assured her as he stood up. “You’re just so beautiful,” he smiled.

Peggy couldn’t help the way her lips curled into a large smile. He took her hands in his and kissed them.

“You do realize you’ve been saying that every time I’ve worn something you haven’t seen before?” she teased him. Being that other than her red dress, he had only ever seen her in her military uniform and combat gear, that meant every single thing she had worn in the last five days since his arrival.

“You can’t blame me for telling the truth,” he said simply, pulling her right against him.

Before Peggy could retort, Steve held up a finger. She raised her eyebrow at him as he walked to the radio and was extremely grateful that when he turned it on, there was a slow song playing. He offered Peggy his hand.

“May I have this dance?”

Peggy nodded, her voice soft.

“You may,” she replied as she accepted his hand. 

Steve pulled her close, wrapping his arm around her and placing his hand on her back, holding her tightly to him. His other hand held hers as she placed her arm on top of his, resting her hand on his shoulder. He nuzzled his nose into her cheek and kept it there, shutting his eyes as they began to sway to the music. 

It wasn’t the first time that they’d dance since he’d returned. In fact, he had asked her almost as soon as she’d heard his entire story and accepted it - and him. It was slightly clumsy at first, but she guided him patiently until he had found his footing. They danced at least once a day ever since. It had become their after-dinner routine. Though Peggy had found some success in teaching him more complicated steps, Steve’s favourite way to dance with her was just like this: holding her as close as physically possible, swaying slowly as the world around them disappeared. 

He had lamented that he couldn’t take her out like they had planned, but they both knew it was too risky for the time being. Peggy didn’t mind. She had her right partner with her at last, and that was all she needed.

As the song ended and transitioned to another one, both of them slowly stopped swaying, keeping each other close. Steve nuzzled his nose against her cheek again and whispered.

“I love you.”

Peggy felt her heart melt, and she turned her head to him so that their noses were touching.

“I love you too,” she whispered back.

The way Steve’s face lit up was infectious, and she matched his growing smile. At their core, they both knew how the other felt, but hearing it said aloud for the first time was another thing entirely.

“I love you,” he repeated. “God I love you,” he said again, sounded like a happy broken record.

Peggy giggled as Steve peppered her face with kisses.

“I love you. I’ve always loved you,” she told him, catching his lips and kissing him.

There was a knock at the door that interrupted them. The mood between them immediately sobered, and they pulled back to share a knowing look. Giving her a gentle kiss, Steve reluctantly left to hide in her bedroom.

“Coming!” Peggy called out, watching his figure disappear. She shook her head to try and recover from the events of their dance before walking over to the door.

Her guilt about hiding Steve from Howard began to grow with each step she took. She had really tried to downplayed it for Steve’s own conscience, but this day truly brought out the worst of both her and Howard’s guilt and grief. They worked together toward moving forward and helping each other heal, and they had made good progress, but Jack had been right about anniversaries - without warning they could make you feel as though you had taken 100 steps backwards. She opened the door and was surprised to find that she couldn’t see Howard’s face from behind the large bouquet of flowers that he was holding.

“Howard?” she asked more than said.

“Hey Peg,” he said, handing her the flowers. “Don’t you look lovely tonight,” he complimented.

“What on earth are these for?” she questioned, taking in the wide array of flower types that she was now holding.

“Last year, when we talked about the stuff we thought about what we wanted - you know, if he was still here - you said that sometimes, you wished that he was here to get you flowers, and that of all the things you could wish for it was dumb that you wanted flowers.”

Peggy looked at Howard with a shocked expression, unable to form words, so Howard continued speaking. 

“I don’t think it’s dumb to wish that the love of your life was alive to get you flowers, and if anyone deserves them, it’s you, Peg. But since he can’t be here, it’ll have to be me.”

Peggy’s eyes filled with tears at Howard’s thoughtfulness. 

“Oh Howard… I…” Peggy tried to swallow the lump in her throat but it was becoming increasingly difficult as she tried to blink back the tears that were quickly getting the better of her.

Howard said nothing else and simply hugged her. She awkwardly tried to reciprocate, but was impeded by the fact that she was still holding the abnormally large bouquet.

He pulled away and Peggy cleared her throat. Both her and Howard had tears running down their faces.

“I’ll um, I’ll go put these in some water before we head out,” she said quietly. 

“Of course,” Howard said, smiling softly at her.

Peggy wiped her tears and went into the kitchen and found a vase in the back of one of the cupboards and filled it with water. As she stared at the flowers that she had left on the counter, she couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed. Howard had made this incredibly kind gesture to her with these flowers while he was standing a room away from Steve Rogers. When the vase was three quarters full, she set most of the flowers in there, and when they didn’t all fit, Peggy sighed and filled some glasses and set the remainder of flowers in the glasses. She returned to where Howard was, and saw that he was lost in thought.

“Howard?” she said softly, acquiring his attention.

“Sorry… I just… it’s so frustrating, you know?” he told her, his voice betraying how upset he was. “I mean, I was close. I had to be close. We found the damn Tesseract, but-”

“Howard, don’t go there,” Peggy interrupted gently.

“I’m sorry, Peg. Last year I was better. I don’t know why this year is so hard for me,” he admitted.

“Grief isn’t a linear process, Howard. Anniversaries in particular can unexpectedly trigger you and make you feel like you’re back at the start. It’s all a part of healing,” she explained gently. 

Howard nodded simply, and Peggy could sense his own frustration in himself, so she continued, echoing Jarvis’ words to her three years ago.

“There is not one person on this earth who is capable of carrying its entire weight by themselves. You can’t expect yourself to. That’s why you have me,” she reminded him. 

“Thanks Peg,” he said quietly. She smiled gently at him and hugged him. It was more physical affection than they regularly showed, but today was no ordinary day. When she was about to pull away, she felt Howard tense and kept her body pressed to his, whispering in her ear so quietly she almost missed it.

“There’s someone here.”

Peggy’s eyes widened and she immediately began analyzing the side of the room she could see. “What do you mean?” she whispered back.

“There is definitely a man in your bedroom,” he whispered. Peggy’s heart stopped.

“Spin me around so I can see,” she whispered in his ear. 

He did as was told, pretending it was part of the hug, and when he set her down, Peggy saw Steve in the doorway. They shared a look and she answered the question in his eyes with a small nod.

“Howard… There’s something I need to tell you. Or rather, show you,” she began, pulling away from him.

Howard turned around and looked visibly shaken as Steve stepped into the living room.

“Peg, what the hell is a Steve Rogers impersonator doing in your apartment? And why haven’t you shot him yet?” he asked loudly, knowing that Peggy should have had this guy on his knees the second she saw him.

“Howard no, he’s not an impersonator,” she told him, putting a hand on his arm.

“But Peggy, Steve is-”

“Alive,” she interrupted. “He’s alive and he’s here. He came back,” she told him gently.

“Hi Howard,” Steve said, his voice quiet.

As Howard looked between his best friends, both of whom where apparently alive, he felt himself go pale. 

“Someone had better begin explaining what the fuck is going on.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so a few things:
> 
> 1\. I am so sorry I haven't posted in a hot second. I worked four 12-14 hour days in a row and have been exhausted, but I hope the extra length of this chapter makes up for it. Just a warning that this upcoming week will be the same, but I have a cute, fluffier little chapter in mind that I'm hoping I'll have time to get to by the end of the week
> 
> 2\. It wasn't my intention at first, but the bringing up dates thing has turned into a subconscious coping mechanism for Peggy's PTSD. Very similar to the "Real or Not Real" thing that Katniss and Peeta do for the Hunger Games, it helps her get a grip on reality since a literal ghost has come back into her life
> 
> 3\. As hard as I tried, I couldn't find the exact date that the Valkyrie went down, but we know it was in May pre-VE day so I took liberty with the specific date
> 
> 4\. The description of how Steve holds Peggy when they dance is based off of Steve's nightmare from Avengers: Age of Ultron after she spins herself into his arms (seriously look it up, it looks like he wants to devour her)


	5. The Scars We Share

**May 6th, 1949 - Peggy Carter’s Apartment, Brooklyn, NY**

Peggy Carter had always thought of herself as someone who was extremely loyal, even to a fault. 

She had fought for the Allies until the war was won, and continued her service through the SSR afterward. Upon realizing that she could help her country more if she started her own organization, that’s exactly what she did. She toiled away in any spare hours she had with Howard Stark and Colonel Phillips until the work was nearly done.

It wasn’t just patriotism though. In fact, her loyalty mostly lied with those she cared about. Hell, she had even defended Fred against her own brother when they had been engaged all those years ago. 

As Peggy let Steve recount his story to Howard, she couldn’t help but think about how time and again after his death, she had never lost her loyalty to Steve. When she had discovered the existence of the vial of his blood, she kicked Howard out and hid it from the SSR until she was left with no other option. Even after Steve was gone she wanted nothing more than to protect him. Still, because of her value of loyalty - or maybe it was just stubbornness at this point - though she was absolutely furious with Howard, she kept her promise to him and proved his innocence.

She figured that all of this is why it hurt so much that she had broken Howard’s confidence in her by keeping Steve’s return a secret. She knew that she couldn’t deny Steve his choice, but there was an unspoken bond between her and Howard that she had trampled on because of this. After spending so many years working and grieving together, they had become quite close. Out of anyone in the world, he had entrusted her to prove his innocence. He had believed in her skills as a competent agent from their first meeting during the war, and after it was over he gave her an opportunity to do good work when no one else in the SSR would. As she watched Howard’s mistrusting and calculating expression, she only hoped that Steve’s explanation would be enough for them to move forward through this. The three of them together, just as unstoppable as they had been during the war, instead of being divided because Peggy had had to choose between two of her loyalties.

Peggy then thought of the last time she had had to choose between two people she loved. It had led to a terrible fight between her and Michael, and he died before she could completely make things right again.

Though she knew there was no way of knowing that Michael would die so soon after their fight, and this situation wasn’t quite the same, the point still stood. Peggy’s life had been filled with regret and lost loved ones. Though Howard could be an utter wanker at times, she would be devastated if she lost him as well.

When Steve finished, they both awaited Howard’s reaction. Peggy hardly breathed as she watched him look between them, as though he was analyzing every piece of information he had just received. She could practically hear the gears turning in his head. After a few more moments of tense consideration, he finally spoke. 

“So, just to make sure I have this straight... when you landed the Valkyrie you were frozen in the ice, woke up in the 21st century, spent the better part of twelve years there fighting as Captain America, and then _time traveled_ back here so you could be with Peggy?” Howard said slowly. 

“In a nutshell... yes,” Steve answered, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. Peggy had to try not to laugh. When it was summarized out loud, it sounded like the plot of a far fetched fiction novel.

To both their surprise. Howard let out a laugh in disbelief. 

“Well, I’m offended you didn’t come back for me, Cap, but I can’t say I’m surprised. Peggy’s quite the woman,” Howard told him, shaking his head as though he was still trying to come to grips with everything. 

“Don’t I know it?” Steve said fondly, looking over at Peggy. 

She couldn’t help but smile before turning to Howard. 

“So... you aren’t mad?” she asked. 

“No - I mean yes. When you first told me it was him I was infuriated that you’d lie to me about this. After all we’ve been through? Letting me go through today knowing that he was here the whole time? I mean come on Peg-” he stopped himself abruptly and took a breath. 

“I know,” she replied, swallowing the lump that had returned to her throat. “I’m sorry, Howard.” 

They looked at each other for a few moments. Steve watched them intently as they exchanged a silent conversation. Eventually, Howard’s eyes softened, and he knew an understanding between them had passed.

“At the end of the day I get why you had to,” he told them in a much calmer tone than before. “When it comes down to it, I’m just really glad you’re alive,” he finished softly. 

“Oh Howard-” Peggy began. 

“Yeah, I mean Peggy here was a real mess,” he joked, interrupting her sentiment. Peggy rolled her eyes and gently smacked Howard upside the head. 

“Hey!” He complained, though he smiled at her, completely unsurprised by how she reacted. “Alright fine, I wasn’t doing so hot either,” he admitted. Peggy smiled softly at him. 

Howard then turned to Steve with a glint in his eyes.

“You need to tell me everything about the future of technology. Everything. Starting with time travel. I mean come on, _time travel_? The person who finally figures it out has to be a genius,” Howard raved.

Steve swallowed thickly, though he gave Howard a small smile.

“He is,” Steve said softly.

_Was_ , his brain corrected.

“Don’t you mean will be? You know, since he’s from the future?” Howard asked.

Both Steve and Peggy furrowed their brows. 

“Maybe? Apparently time isn’t as linear as we think it is, so when you time travel back in time your present actually becomes the past and the past that you travel to becomes your present. I think?” Steve said, trying to iterate Bruce’s words. Even with his excellent memory, he found that the concept still confused him greatly and he wasn’t all up for getting into it further. It had been a taxing night.

Howard, on the other hand, seemed as though he was just getting started. However, before he could fire off all the questions he had for Steve about time travel, Peggy put a hand on his arm and shot him a look. Though he looked disappointed, Howard nodded. 

“So, what does the future hold for Steve Rogers?” Howard asked him instead.

“That’s actually something we wanted to ask you,” Steve began, grateful not to be interrogated by a subject that he knew barely anything about. “Since I’m retiring, and I’m well, still at the bottom of the ocean, I can’t be Steve Rogers anymore.”

“What do you need, pal?” Howard immediately picked up where this was going. 

“Documentation, mostly. We’ll create a new alias and that’s who I’ll be in public,” Steve told him.

“Consider it done,” Howard promised. 

“Thanks, Howard,” Steve said gratefully. 

“Hey, don’t worry about it. Anything for Peggy’s best guy,” he said, half joking, half sincere. 

“Peggy’s best guy?” Peggy inquired, though the smile on her face betrayed how much she liked the title. 

“What, you’re going to pretend like he’s not?” Howard asked her. 

Peggy looked over at Steve with a tender expression. 

“Absolutely not,” she conceded.

 

* * *

 

In a little over a week Howard had everything sorted and ready to be made official. Birth certificate, identification, school records, files of him serving in the war, job records, a line of credit and everything else that they would ever need to prove that Steve’s new alias had lived an entire life. 

As for the name, Steve chose what he thought would be the most appropriate to his new life. A tribute to who he was, while keeping the future in mind. He refused to tell Peggy when he wrote it down on a paper for Howard, assuring her that she would like it. She had simply replied: 

“I should hope so. I’m the one who will have to be saying it in public.” 

Steve had only laughed in response. 

It wasn’t until she had arrived home from work the early evening of the 14th of May that Peggy would be privy to Steve’s new alias. 

She had just come from a very successful meeting with Howard Stark and Colonel Phillips. The three of them had put their signatures on the papers finalizing the last of their policies, as well as the contract solidifying their future relationship to the government of the United States. 

It was official - SHIELD would be active by the beginning of next year.

Upon her arrival home, Steve had held up the thick envelope containing the paper trail of his new life and immediately handed it over to Peggy the moment her eyes widened in curiosity and excitement.

She took out the first paper, which happened to be the birth certificate, and looked at the name in the centre. 

Grant Steven Carter. 

Peggy blinked a few times, making sure that she wasn’t misreading it. Then she looked up at him with an inquiring look, not quite realizing that her mouth had formed a smile. 

“Carter?”

“Well I figured that when we get married I didn’t want you taking my last name if it couldn’t be Rogers - if you’d take it at all that is - and so I thought it made the most sense to take your last name,” he explained.

Peggy’s smile grew until she was positively beaming. A man taking his wife’s last name was unheard of, after all. But Steve wanted to take hers. 

“Oh, so we’re getting married now?” she teased him, though her stomach was doing flips at the mere thought of it. 

“Well not right now of course, but I didn’t travel over 70 years in the past to not marry you,” he told her seriously. 

When Peggy merely pulled him close and kissed him in response, he knew that he had made the right choice. 

 

* * *

 

**June 23rd, 1949 - SSR Conference Room**

Over five weeks after Steve’s identification papers had arrived, Peggy found herself muttering in frustration after their latest leads to both Leviathan and HYDRA had gone cold. She forcefully set the files she had been holding down on the table and sat in a chair, rubbing her temples. 

Though she wouldn’t say it out loud, Peggy was mostly frustrated at herself. She had allowed herself to believe that they had completely destroyed HYDRA four years ago when they were never truly gone. Now that she was in charge of squashing them out of existence, she felt the trail growing colder by the day. Not only that, but Leviathan was slipping from her fingers once again. If they didn’t do something soon, she feared that they would only catch either of them after it was too late. 

She picked up the lone HYDRA file that had been found by Davis and Smith. She had nearly committed the damn thing to memory. There were parts of it that were redacted that she had been only partially able to uncover. It was clear that even if she was able to discover every blacked out word in the file, this was only one of many, and it would be nearly impossible to discover who “The Asset” was, where they were stationed out of, or when and where they were planning on having them strike next. 

The manner of conditioning of The Asset made Peggy feel unnerved. The processes were torturous and inhumane. Her heart broke for the poor individual being subjected to such experiments in order to become nothing more than a tool to be used by the most evil people she had ever encountered. She only hoped that when they found them, they would be able to help them recover their life. 

Peggy looked up at the maps on the wall of the conference room. There had been no significant activity thus far from any location marked with a red “X” that could give them any indication of a pattern. 

Paris, London, Washington, and the entire state of New York. Each one covered with marks that notated everything ranging from parks to hospitals. No government buildings. The maps of Poland, Russia, and Ukraine remained unmarked. No notable activity in those countries either - that they had been able to track.

She held the HYDRA file close to her as she went back to her desk. She locked it in the bottom drawer and looked up to see Steve walking to her. Though he had been working for the SSR for almost three weeks, it still made her feel warm to see him around.

As soon as his alias’ paperwork came in, Steve had started working odd jobs around the neighbourhood, mostly manual labour and construction related projects. He was contented with it for a while, but soon found himself restless to do more work to help people in larger ways, the way he did when he was Captain America. He knew what was out there, and though Peggy didn’t share many details with him, he understood that there was a major threat lurking in the shadows. As much as he had committed himself to retiring, he couldn’t simply stand by while Peggy was out there putting herself in danger day after day. Though he wasn’t sure he wanted to be on the front lines again, there had to be something he could do to take a more active role.

After mulling it over, he finally talked about it with Peggy. He was grateful that though he could tell she was slightly uneasy, she understood that he was someone who needed to do everything in his power to help people. That was the first thing about him that she fell in love with.

When they discussed it at length, they both agreed that going back into the field wasn’t the smartest idea, both because Steve was tired of fighting wars, and because his physical abilities would eventually give him away - or at least cause them some trouble.

Peggy then came up with an idea. Though it hadn’t been widely advertised among the agents, Jack had told her that there was an opening in the SSR for someone who could serve as a strategist for their larger missions that required more prep work - with a background in European relations - specifically Russian - being an asset. Peggy figured that Steve knew more than enough about Europe with all his time spent there during the war, and she knew for certain from personal experience that he was an excellent strategist. It was the perfect opportunity - mostly desk work, little action - but his work would help them infinitely in their goal to keep the country safe.

Steve had agreed readily, and the next day she brought a copy of his war file to Jack. After some reasoned discussion - and ribbing regarding their shared last name - Grant Carter had been brought on board with the SSR as their expert strategist.

“Hello Agent Carter,” Steve greeted her when he arrived at her desk, a twinkle in his eye. Peggy fought the smile that was threatening to form. 

They hadn’t revealed their relationship to anyone at the SSR, at Steve’s own insistence, so that she wouldn’t get anymore trouble from certain agents. Though Peggy assured him that she could handle it, they both eventually agreed they would give Steve more time to fit into the SSR before they went public. 

“Hello Agent Carter,” she teased lightly. She could see Steve suppress his smile.

“Chief wanted me to give you these,” he said as he handed over two files, his hand lingering on hers just a moment longer than necessary. “One’s info from the recon in Staten Island and the other one is background about that factory in Russia and its past employees.”

“Thank you, Grant,” she replied. “Is that all?” she inquired.

“Actually… there’s something else,” Steve said in a quieter voice. 

He looked around and confirmed that no one was listening to their conversation.

“You see,” he began again. “I realized there’s something we haven’t done yet.”

“And what would that be?” she inquired quietly.

“Dance,” he said simply.

“We dance every night,” she reminded him, smiling gently.

“No, I mean I want to take you out to dance. Properly. On a date,” he clarified.

Peggy couldn’t help but smile a bit wider.

“What did you have in mind?”

“Tonight. The Stork Club at 8 o’clock,” he told her.

“Only if you promise you won’t be late,” she replied, her voice soft.

“8 on the dot,” he promised. 

“Then I’ll tell the band to play something slow,” she told him, walking back to the conference room with the files in hand.

They couldn’t see each other’s faces, but they were both biting their lips to contain their smiles.

 

* * *

 

When Peggy arrived home, she found that Steve wasn’t in the apartment. He had left the SSR earlier than she did since she had to spend extra time cross-referencing old information with the items that Steve had provided her that afternoon, though she assumed that he would be waiting for her when she arrived. After setting her bag on its hook, she found a note on the couch side table next to the phone.

 

_I’ll be back at exactly 8pm._

_\- Your best guy_

 

Peggy knew that it was absurd how giddy and excited she felt. It wasn’t as though she had never gone on dates before, or been dancing. She had even danced with Steve every night since he returned. 

Still, she had never gone out to dance with him. He was making a point to make good on his promise to her, and she couldn’t wait. 

Knowing that she had some time before their date, she took a bath and made sure to take extra care to thoroughly wash herself. She spent extra time styling her hair and putting on her make up than her normal routine. There was more precision and care being taken tonight than any other important event in her life. She snorted at the fact that this was something she knew her mother would finally approve of. 

Though Peggy knew that it was ridiculous, there was a part of her that was nervous about tonight. As she looked through all her dresses, she dismissed each one for some little nonsensical reason or another. Tonight would be their first night out properly as a couple. She wanted it to be perfect. She wanted to take his breath away, and thus far none of her dresses were living up to the impossibly high standard she had in her mind. Though they never had been so before, each one she looked at was now either too fancy, too casual, too short, or too plain. Peggy had now reached the back of her closet and had nearly given up when something caught her eye.

She pulled out a dark red dress that had a square neckline and short sleeves that covered just past her shoulders. It cinched in at the waist and had a full skirt that stopped halfway down her calves. Peggy had bought it on a whim sometime in late March when she had been out shopping with Angie the week before she left on her tour. Peggy loved the detailing on it and allowed Angie to talk her into being swept up by the latest fashion trend of the rapidly-approaching new decade. When she had gotten home, she realized that it was likely that the only use she would get out of it was on another undercover mission, and had left it in the back of her closet since.

Until tonight. 

It was cliche, but when she put it on and looked herself in the mirror, she knew that Steve’s jaw would simply drop.

 

* * *

 

She hummed to herself as she checked her watch for the third time in the last minute.

It was 7:57pm, and Peggy Carter was now fully dressed and primped, with her small black purse hanging on her shoulder, seated on the couch as she waited.

She knew he wouldn’t dare be late. Not tonight. 

 

**7:58pm**

But what if something happened? There would be no way for her to know. She hadn’t even known where he had went. 

_Cool it, Carter,_ she thought to herself. Steve was a man with superhuman abilities and almost a decade and a half of combat experience. There was no way that even if something did happen, he wouldn’t be able to make it out.

 

**7:59pm**

So then why was she so anxious? She ended up pinning it on the last time they made a date and she had ended up drinking alone all that night, surrounded by a flurry of other people dancing around her, still riding the high of VE day. The war wasn’t over in America, but people celebrated the victory as though it was. She wanted to as well, but not without Steve there. 

_But Steve would be here this time_ , she reminded herself. Though it had been less frequent in the recent weeks, she found that there were still times where she needed to remind herself that he was here.

 

**8pm**

Peggy startled at the knock on the door. Sighing in relief, she stood up and fixed her dress. She went over to the door, taking a breath before opening it. 

The sight before her was enough to nearly bring tears to her eyes. Steve was standing in front of her in a dark blue suit. His slightly longer hair had been styled carefully in a similar fashion to how he wore it when it was short, and he had taken care to trim his beard. He was positively handsome. 

And he was holding a bouquet of flowers.

Steve felt both his heart and breath stop the moment Peggy opened the door.

She was wearing a new style of dress that made her look even more gorgeous than normal. Her brown curls were resting just past her shoulders - she had been growing it out. The way her mouth formed a loving smile caused her warm brown eyes to light up. She was absolutely radiant.

And she was all his. 

He had to fight the lump in his throat to get out his words.

“Peggy you’re… Holy shit,” he whispered. Peggy couldn’t help but laugh softly at his reaction.

Mission accomplished.

“You’ve cleaned up quite nice as well,” she informed him playfully, though her voice betrayed how affected she felt.

“These are for you,” he told her as he handed the flowers to her. “A little birdie told me that you’ve wanted some for a while. I’m sorry it took so long.”

Peggy couldn’t help but smile widely at him. 

“My darling you never have to apologize about that again. You’ve made up for it a hundred times over,” she told him gently. 

Steve simply leaned down and kissed her. Peggy let out a sigh and reached up to stroke his cheek with her free hand. When he pulled away, he whispered.

“I love you.”

“I love you, my darling,” she whispered back. 

Peggy tugged him into the apartment and went to go put the flowers in water. She was grateful that these were infinitely less excessive than the ones Howard had given her and they fit in one vase.

She took a breath to calm her both her nerves and excitement down, and went to the living room where Steve was. The sight of him took her breath away just as much as when she first opened the door. 

“Shall we?” Steve asked, offering Peggy his arm.

“We shall,” she answered. She looped her arm through his and placed her other hand on his bicep.

As they walked toward the Stork Club, Peggy couldn’t help but notice just how much - in regards to giddiness and bashfulness - both of them seemed to be behaving like school aged children on their first date. Between the two of them they wavered between silence to never being able to stop talking. Both would sneak glances every moment they thought the other wasn’t looking. If she hadn’t felt so intoxicated by his presence, Peggy would have thought their behaviour was beyond laughable.

When they arrived, the space was fully alive with people dancing and drinking. Steve immediately led her to the dance floor just in time for the start of the next song - a slow one. Peggy spun herself into his arms, and Steve’s breath hitched as he pulled her close. She let her head rest on his chest, contented just to be close to him.

They danced for hours, though neither of them had been keeping track. Steve eventually led Peggy to the bar so that they could rest for a bit. He relished the way that she never let go of his hand, even after they sat down.

“Two whiskeys, neat, please” he told the bartender.

Peggy thanked him and leaned over to kiss his cheek, an old song beginning to play.

“Oh goodness I haven’t heard this song in years. Do you know what this reminds me of?” she asked him.

“The night of the red dress?” Steve asked knowingly as he paid for their drinks, handing Peggy hers.

Peggy couldn’t help but laugh, absolutely elated at the memory.

“Yes! Oh St-Grant,” she quickly corrected herself. “You were absolutely adorable, what with how obvious you were,” she told him.

Steve rolled his eyes fondly, a faint blush creeping onto his cheeks.

“That’s not fair, you wanted me to get all flustered,” he accused.

“Now that is quite the theory, Mr. Carter,” she noted.

“I’d say it’s more than just a theory, Agent Carter,” he replied. Peggy couldn’t help but grin.

“Well I’m afraid you’d have to prove it,” she told him.

“Hmmm, as tempting as that is, I think I have something more important to do,” he informed her.

“And what would that be, pray tell?” she inquired.

“Dance,” he said simply.

Peggy’s eyes lit up, and both of them finished their drinks quickly. Steve led her back to the dance floor, and they danced until the club closed for the night.

 

* * *

 

When they arrived back home, Steve waited for Peggy to close the door behind them before leaning her against it and kissing her deeply. Peggy sighed into his mouth and tossed her purse aside, wrapping her arms around his neck. After a few minutes, Peggy leaned her head back for air. Steve pressed his lips against her forehead and murmured.

“You’ve been driving me crazy in this dress all night.”

Peggy shifted to stand on the tips of her toes, positioning her mouth barely an inch away from Steve’s.

“I bet I can drive you crazier without it on,” she whispered.

Steve groaned and roughly crashed their lips together. Peggy moaned into his mouth and tangled a hand in his hair. She felt his hand wander under her skirt to her thigh. Her breath hitched as his fingers reached her bare skin from where her stocking ended. Her grip on his hair tightened as he lifted her leg to wrap around his. She pulled back and whispered.

“Steve. Take me to bed.”

The way his eyes seemed to get darker excited her. She felt his other hand reach for her other thigh and she aided him by steadying her hands on his shoulders and hopping up, wrapping her legs around his waist as he lifted her. She kissed along his jaw as he carried her to the bedroom. 

He set her down on the bed and they both began frantically undressing him, first his jacket and then button down shirt. Peggy took the opportunity to let her hands roam along his upper body as he kissed at her neck. She was desperate for more contact, and she would not be denied.

After they each kicked off their shoes, Steve crawled on top of her, and Peggy quickly flipped them so the was straddling him. The motion caught him by surprise, and he looked at her with wide, lust-filled eyes. He then sat up and helped her maneuver out of her dress, leaving her in just her bra, underwear, stockings, and garter belt holster which contained her gun.

Steve’s eyes hungrily took in her body. He couldn’t help but notice the angry red scar on her left abdomen. He leaned down and kissed it gently a few times before kissing his way up her body. 

“You’re gorgeous,” he breathed out after gently kissing the corner of her mouth.

Together they helped each other shed the rest of their garments. Steve kissed down Peggy’s neck to her breasts and took one of her nipples in his mouth, causing her to whimper in pleasure. She grinded her hips against his at the sensation, causing them both to moan loudly. Steve's thumb began to roughly tease her other nipple. Peggy cursed and moved her hips against his again. He then removed his mouth from her nipple and paid the other one the same attention.

“Need you, now,” Peggy all but growled at him, her fingers digging into his shoulders. 

“You have me,” he told her as he removed his mouth from her nipple. 

His hands gripped her hips and helped her position herself, their eyes locked together.

They both let out a loud moan as she slid down on him. She paused when he was fully inside her, taking in Steve’s face.

“Peggy,” he gasped out, sounding absolutely wrecked.

“Shhh, my darling. I’m here,” she told him, kissing him deeply. 

After a few moments she bit his bottom lip gently and began to move. Steve buried his face in her neck and nipped at it, saying her name like a curse as she set a quick and rough pace.

One of his hands found its way between their bodies, rubbing her as she continued to move. Peggy swore and put her hand over his, showing him where and how she wanted him. Peggy whimpered as he whispered in her ear how much he loved her and wanted her. Everything in her current world was only Steve. The feel of him inside her and his fingers relentlessly rubbing her just how she had shown him, his breath hot against her ear as he urged her to let go and lose herself in the moment.

“Steve, yes - _Steve_ ,” she moaned loudly as she reached her peak, fingernails digging into his shoulders.

Steve thrusted up roughly three more times before he moaned her name and went still inside her, one hand still between them and the other gripping her hip hard enough to leave bruises. He leaned his forehead against Peggy’s and shut his eyes. Peggy kissed him languidly, hardly allowing either of them time to catch their breaths. After a few more moments she moved herself off of him, collapsing on her back. Steve laid beside her and pulled her into his arms. Peggy allowed herself to be pulled against his body, and she curled into his side. She kissed his chest gently before accommodating herself to use it as a pillow, hearing his heartbeat under her ear. Steve wanted nothing more than to stay in this moment forever.

His fingers wound themselves in her hair and scratched her scalp gently. Peggy sighed contentedly before humming in appreciation.

“I love you so much,” he whispered, heart still racing.

“I love you, my darling,” she whispered back, allowing her arm to drape over his abdomen and her leg tangle between his. She gave his collarbone a sloppy kiss before shutting her eyes.

 

* * *

 

The next morning found them in the same position that they fell asleep. Steve woke up first, and once he realized that Peggy was still completely wrapped around him, he couldn’t help but grin at the memory of their perfect night. 

Waking up in Peggy’s bed wasn’t anything new. After a particularly bad nightmare that he had to forcefully shake her awake from one night, she asked him to stay (she hadn’t previously out of respect for his decision to take the couch) and he had taken to sleeping there every night since. After their night on the couch, he had missed the proximity of her body holding his while they slept. After having the comfort of her body next to his in a larger, more comfortable setting, he couldn’t bear go back to sleeping alone on her too small couch. Though he thought it was selfish when he told her, Peggy had muttered a _finally_ under her breath and simply pulled him close to cuddle her.

This aspect of their physical intimacy, however, was new. Though they had been sharing a bed for almost a month and a half, they had never dared to go past basic groping and intense making out. Now that they’d crossed that line, he briefly wondered why he had waited so long.

He felt Peggy shift slightly and heard her sigh - the usual sign that she was now awake. She moved her head to look up at him and smiled gently.

“Good morning,” she said softly.

“Good morning,” he greeted, kissing her gently when she shifted so that she was laying beside him, face to face. 

“Wonderful night,” she murmured when he pulled away.

Peggy wouldn’t have expected their first night together to be so rough and desperate, but when she thought about it further, she realized it made sense. After not getting their happy ending the first time and living years without each other, they were both changed - and damaged - people. They had waited what felt like a lifetime for each other, and their need had overtaken any caution of trepidation that had previously existed.

Steve smiled at her and kissed her again. Peggy eventually pulled away, smiling when he tried to chase her lips.

“If we keep at this, we’ll be late for work,” she warned him.

“And the problem with that is?” Steve inquired. 

Peggy laughed softly and placated him with a brief kiss before sitting up, the blanket dropping to her lap as Steve leaned on his elbow. From his viewpoint, Steve could easily see the scars on the back of Peggy’s right shoulder, as well as the one on the left side of her abdomen just underneath her ribcage. 

“Peggy?”

“Yes, darling?”

“Tell me about your scars?” he asked softly.

Peggy stiffened for a moment.

“Well,” she began, taking Steve’s hand and placing it on her right thigh. His thumb stroked it gently, going over the scar that he hadn’t noticed last night.

“This one I got in 1946. I got shot fighting Leet Brannis on the roof of a moving milk truck filled with implosives,” she said casually.

Steve raised his eyebrows. Peggy smiled a bit, knowing he was impressed. She then took his hand and moved it to her abdomen. 

“This one was from California in 1947. I was hanging off a ledge, let go and impaled myself on a metal rod,” she explained, grimacing at the memory. Steve stiffened and shifted, leaning over to kiss it gently. Peggy shut her eyes at the touch.

Peggy then waited a few moments before slowly moving his hand to the back of her right shoulder. When she didn’t speak right away, Steve stroked his thumb gently over the two scars there, patiently waiting for her to continue. 

“It was 1945,” she began, her face now a bit more somber. He could tell she wasn’t quite with him anymore, picturing the memory of the origin of these scars. 

Steve sat up properly and placed his other hand on Peggy’s cheek. He knew that she must have gotten these scars shortly after his disappearance. 

“Those bullets were meant for Timothy Dugan,” she said quietly after a few minutes. “We had just taken the last HYDRA base. We let our guards down, believing that we had taken care of every last one of them.”

 

**May 28th, 1945**

_“I think that’s it,” Dum Dum Dugan told her as they entered the hangar, which was the last place they had yet to triple check for signs of any remaining HYDRA agents._

_“It would seem so,” she responded._

_“West wings are clear,” she heard Jim Morita say over the radio._

_“East wings are clear,” Gabe Jones replied._

_“North wings are clear,” James Montgomery Falsworth followed._

_Dugan looked at Peggy and they nodded at each other. However as Dugan spoke into the radio, Peggy noticed movement behind a half-destroyed plane._

_“South wings-“_

_“Wait!”_

_A figure suddenly emerged from the shadows and fired two shots in Dugan’s direction. In an instant, Peggy had crossed the ten steps that separated them, and - with a surprising amount of force - pushed Dugan out of the way. She cried out in pain and collapsed as two bullets entered the back of her right shoulder. She heard Dugan curse and fire three shots, followed by a body hitting the ground. Peggy whimpered as Dugan helped her sit up._

_“We need medical attention in the hangar now! Peggy’s been hit,” he said into the radio._

_“I’m fine,” she got out, though she was sure she hadn’t convinced him._

_“Dammit, Peggy,” he cursed as he applied pressure to the wounds in an attempt to lessen the blood loss. “Why’d you have to do that?”_

_She could hear the fear in his voice. Peggy grabbed his free hand, which he squeezed tightly._

_“I’ll be alright,” she assured him. “I just - I couldn’t lose you too,” she told him._

_Dugan let out a breath and shook his head slightly, though she could see the ghost of a smile on his face._

_“He’d be proud, you know,” Dugan told her after a few moments. “Cap would be damn proud of his best girl.”_

_Peggy gave him a soft smile._

_“Timothy-“_

_“Don’t you start,” he told her firmly. “He called you that himself.”_

_In that moment, Morita, Falsworth and Jones came rushing in, guns at the ready. While Morita and Falsworth scanned the rest of the hangar, Jones ran to Peggy quickly and began treating her wounds._

 

**Present Day**

“It all happened so fast. In hindsight, I know he mostly likely would have lived, but I just... I couldn’t bear to lose anyone else,” she said softly. 

Steve looked at her with soft eyes. He kissed her forehead, and Peggy’s eyes fluttered shut.

“You’re a hero, you know,” he told her. 

Peggy opened her eyes to look at him pointedly. 

“That’s a tad dramatic,” she told him. 

“I don’t think so,” he replied. “All of these scars you have were in service of helping others. It shows what kind of person you are. A kind, fierce, beautiful person,” Steve told her. 

“Yes well that’s easy for you to say. You can’t get scars. Just wait until my entire body is absolutely covered in them, I won’t be so beautiful then,” she informed him.

“You’ll always be beautiful,” he assured her. 

Peggy rolled her eyes. 

“Even if my face was completely covered in them?”

“Even then,” he assured her.

“You’re a delusional oaf,” she told him fondly. 

“Your delusional oaf,” he replied, kissing her neck gently. 

“Don’t start anything you don’t intend on finishing,” she warned him as his lips began to travel down to her collarbone.

“Oh, I intend on us both finishing,” he replied cheekily. 

Peggy tilted Steve’s chin up so he was looking up at her and leaned in so that their noses were nearly touching.

“Then we better get started before we’re late for work,” she whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. This is my first time writing smut and I'm really self-conscious about it lol
> 
> 2\. I definitely took liberty with canon and how Peggy got her shoulder scars
> 
> 3\. Please review! I'm going to be working super long days the next two weeks and it's nice to know that there are people who are actually interested in reading more


	6. Partners in Time

**July 10th, 1949 - SSR Bullpen**

Peggy looked up as Agent Williams left his desk - presumably to pick up his dinner that he ordered twenty minutes ago - leaving her alone in the bullpen with Steve, who was sitting on the other side of her desk reading a file while he ate the dinner he had picked up for them.

Once or twice a month, every day shift agent had to work a night shift. This rotation they happened to get lucky and were working one together.

“Darling?” Peggy asked him.

“Yes dear?” he replied, trusting her use of his pet name that they were alone. He offered her his take out container and she nodded, swapping with him before continuing.

“Why 1949?”

Steve froze with his chopsticks halfway to his mouth and looked at her.

“I’m sorry?”

“Why would you choose to return to 1949, four years after your supposed passing? You could have chosen any year. Why this one?” she asked. 

Truthfully, she had wanted to ask him about it since he had returned. Four years was a long time, especially when he could have come back a week after he crashed the ship. She trusted he had his reasons, but her curiosity had begun to get the better of her.

Steve paused at her question, pondering how to best answer it.

“You had things you needed to do without me,” he said eventually. 

Peggy raised her eyebrow and waited for him to continue. When he didn’t explain further, she pressed on.

“How do you know I wouldn’t have still founded SHIELD even with you here?”

“I don’t, but I wanted to be safe,” he responded simply.

“But surely there are other things that I accomplish later in my life. You can’t guarantee that those will stay the same now that you’re here,” she reasoned.

“No,” he agreed. 

“So then why not take the same chance with SHIELD?”

Steve sighed. Peggy knew her questioning was beginning to irritate him, but to be quite honest, she was also becoming a bit irked by the guard that he held up.

“I know the role that SHIELD plays in the future. It was important for you to get it set up and running. Lay the groundwork at least,” he said in a firm tone, clearly trying to end the conversation.

Peggy looked at him, analyzing his tone and body language. Though he was good at dissimulating otherwise, she could tell he was giving her incomplete truths.

“Now the groundwork is laid,” she told him. “But that’s not what’s bothering you. I’m not going to stop until you tell me what it is,” she told him gently.

Steve sighed again and nodded slowly.

“I’m just scared of messing things up before they even happen. Or making things worse,” he said finally after a few moments of consideration.

“How so?” she asked as they swapped take out containers again.

“Well, imagine if you were in a relationship with someone. Then your future self came back to tell you to be careful, because that person would be unfaithful to you and it would lead to things ending between you. Now you have to make a choice. You can choose to end it now and save yourself the heartbreak, or you wait for it to play out how you know it will. Any rational person would end it right then and there,” he explained.

“Well of course,” Peggy agreed.

“But what if you were meant to get back together months after you had broken up, but now you won’t give them a chance because you know what they would have done? What if you were meant to have a family with them? The life you would have lived with them, the lives you would have created are just gone. You’ve stopped something before it ever happens,” he continued.

“And that’s what you’re scared of doing,” Peggy realized out loud.

Steve nodded. 

“Peggy, there are so many terrible things that are going to happen… but if I stop them, how do I know that I’m not going to accidentally affect something else in a way that’s so much worse than the first and change the future beyond repair?”

Peggy could see the torment and conflict in his eyes and felt her heart ache for him. She set down the container she was holding and reached for his hand, grateful that they were still alone in the bullpen.

“You can’t. We’re now contending with something that’s completely foreign and I don’t have all the answers. We’ll just have to figure it out together. I know it’s hard and you’re scared, but you can trust me with these things. I want you to trust me and let me in. ,” she told him. “You don’t have to carry the weight of the world alone anymore.”

Steve gave her a small grateful smile and squeezed her hand. She could see his shoulders release a bit of tension.

“You know, every time I begin to feel selfish for having made the decision to be here, you remind me why it’s okay that I did,” he told her.

“You deserve to be happy, my darling. And I may be biased in this, but I quite like the fact that you chose to return. It worked out quite well for me,” she said, smiling softly at him. 

Steve looked over his shoulder before kissing her hand. Peggy smiled at him before they both went back to reading their respective files. Though there was something else that was still nagging in the back of Peggy’s mind. They ate in silence for a few minutes before Peggy spoke up again.

“Darling?”

“Yes dear?” Steve answered. 

Peggy smiled. She was never going to get tired of that.

“Can we go over this whole time travel thing again?” she asked. “I suppose I’m just still trying to understand it.”

“You and me both,” he sighed.

Peggy smiled gently at him.

“You keep saying you don’t want to muck things up for the future, but what about your friend’s theory about the - and I cannot believe that I’m going to say this - alternate timeline?” she asked.

“What about it?”

“Well it can’t be both, can it? It’s either you go back in time and change the past and that changes the future, or you go back in time and change the past and that just creates a new timeline. The future you were in is safe. Either or,” she clarified.

“I guess so,” Steve said slowly.

“And if your friend is as smart as you say he is, wouldn’t you think that his timeline theory is correct?”

Steve leaned back in his chair, furrowing his eyes as he thought about it.

“I mean… yes. If there’s anyone I’d trust it about it, it’d be him and-” he stopped abruptly. 

He pushed the image of Tony’s lifeless body out of his mind and thought of when both he and Bruce tried explaining time travel to them as they worked to make Scott’s watch and suit work. Peggy looked at him, her eyes sad as she watched him work through something troubling.

“Then perhaps,” she said quietly after it became apparent that Steve wouldn’t be finishing his sentence. “We need to consider the possibility that the things you do will no longer affect the future you’ve already lived.”

Steve looked at Peggy. He wanted nothing more than to be able to live this new life without worrying that every little thing could ruin things catastrophically. Though he had been able to find true joy in his time with Peggy (more than he ever thought he could ever have), knowledge of certain events in the future kept him awake some nights while he held her. 

Mainly Bucky.

He was out there, still being tortured and brainwashed by HYDRA. Every fibre in his being was telling him to go and find him, and rescue him. If he had his timeline straight, he knew that he was currently in one of the three main HYDRA Russian bases, most likely the abandoned factory. The only thing stopping him from going after his best friend was his brain telling him he couldn’t change anything for the sake of his timeline’s future. There were millions of lives at stake.

But if Peggy was right, maybe there was a chance to save his friend 70 years worth of torture.

“Grant?” Peggy prompted gently when he still didn’t respond. 

“How about we take it one thing at a time?” she offered.

Steve nodded slowly and gave her a small, grateful smile.

“Yeah. One thing at a time.”

Peggy’s gave him a soft smile and she swiped the take out container that he had set down a few minutes ago. Steve returned her smile and accepted the container she offered him. 

Peggy had a way of keeping her head on straight even when he felt like the ground was being pulled out from under him. He couldn’t count the times it had saved him during the war, and even now, how she was still keeping him from falling apart and getting lost in his own grief, whether she knew it or not.

“Have I ever told you how intelligent you are?” Steve asked her.

“Not lately,” she teased.

Though she was looking at her file, he could tell she was practically beaming.

“Well you are. You have a way of being able to always figure things out, whether it’s something tactical or emotional. Whether the answers are excruciatingly buried or hiding in plain sight,” he told her.

Peggy’s eyes suddenly widened and she sat up straight, setting down her takeout container.

Their enemies were always hiding in plain sight.

“Oh my God,” she said aloud as she realized something.

Without waiting for Steve to ask what was wrong, she jumped to her feet and walked briskly to the conference room. She began to look through some of the piles of files scattered throughout the room, picking a few out. She then walked them over to where the maps hung on the wall and she began to look through each of the files and cross referenced them with the maps, muttering to herself and writing things down in her notebook. Steve watched her from the doorway, feeling both confusion for what was happening and pride at seeing Peggy in action.

She quickly got through the last of the files that she had gathered, and looked at the maps again, her eyes wide.

“Bloody Nora,” she said aloud. 

“What is it?” he asked.

Peggy shook her head and turned to him.

“Nothing good,” she replied, rushing past him to her desk.

Steve followed her, still at a loss of what was going on, and watched as she picked up her phone to call someone, her voice low so as to not draw anymore attention from the other nightshift agents that had filtered back in.

“Jack? It’s Peggy. I’m sorry to bother you at this hour but it’s important. I know what HYDRA’s planning and where they most likely currently are. We need to go after The Asset now.”

HYDRA.

The Asset.

Steve didn’t hear the rest of the phone call. He didn’t even pick up on the multiple other calls that Peggy made. His mind was too busy spinning as he tried to process what she had said to Jack over the phone.

They were going after The Asset.

Bucky.

She didn’t know it was Bucky.

They were going after Bucky. 

He couldn’t let them get Bucky.

“Grant?” Peggy asked at him when she had hung up from her last call, realizing he had gone pale. “Grant, what’s the matter?”

“The Asset,” he said, his voice quiet.

Still, it was hard to contain the flurry emotions that were threatening to overwhelm him.

“Yes?” she responded, clearly quite confused. 

“Why didn’t you tell me you knew about him?”

Peggy raised her eyebrow at him.

“The Asset was part of a discovery in a raid we performed back in May. It was a part of a particularly sensitive file, and the further investigation on it was left on a need to know basis limited to myself, Jack, and a handful of others to maintain discretion. It was classified and-”

She then stopped abruptly and stared at him.

“How do _you_ know about The Asset?”

Steve inhaled sharply.

“It’s complicated,” he said. Peggy didn’t say anything for a few moments, analyzing him.

“Well nothing in our lives has ever been simple, has it? But you’re not telling me something. Or more likely, many things,” she began. “If I’m going after The Asset, I need to know what you know. It will undoubtedly help. After all, we’ve just established that we’re in a new timeline, or whatever the proper term is. You don’t have to worry about causing any harm,” she explained to him. When Steve remained silent for a few moments, she spoke again.

“Please help me.”

Steve looked at Peggy. Her eyes were filled with determination, though underneath that, he could see her pleading with him. To trust her. Steve sighed.

“Okay,” he conceded. 

“Really?” Peggy asked, slightly taken aback at how easily he had agreed.

“I’ll tell you what I know,” he told her. 

Peggy couldn’t help the smile that formed on her mouth at his words. She knew what a big deal this was for him. Thus far he had been extremely vague about anything regarding the future. He was stubborn on the fact that he had to contend with everything alone, and she had been doing her best to try and show him that he didn’t have to. The fact that he was going to divulge any information to help her on this mission meant more to her than he would ever know. 

She led him back to the conference room and closed the door. Steve then proceeded to quickly tell her what he knew about The Asset, who would eventually turn into The Winter Soldier - save his identity. Peggy chimed in with what she had discovered in the files when he began to talk about The Asset’s role in the algorithm for eliminating all of HYDRA’s threats. At the end of it, Peggy sighed and leaned on the table.

“Goodness that’s… my God,” she said simply, still processing all of his information. Steve looked at her for a few moments.

“There’s one more thing,” he said tentatively.

“And that is?” Peggy asked, not sure what else there could possibly be.

“It’s Bucky.”

Peggy’s eyes widened in shock and confusion and she stood up straight.

“I beg your pardon?”

“Bucky is The Asset,” he said sadly.

“But Barnes died in-”

“No he didn’t,” Steve interrupted. “When he was imprisoned, HYDRA performed experiments on him in an effort to create super soldiers of their own. It allowed him to survive that fall, but he was captured by them and they turned him into this,” he explained bitterly.

Peggy shook her head slowly, not sure how to describe or begin to deal with everything she was feeling. She looked at Steve and noticed that he had the same distant look in his eyes that he only got when something reminded him of the future. She reached out and put a hand on Steve’s arm.

“I’ll bring him home,” she promised him softly. He raised an eyebrow at her.

“ _We’ll_ bring him home,” he corrected.

Peggy matched his expression and removed her hand, placing it on her hip. 

“We?”

“Yes, I’m going with you,” he told her.

“Like hell you are,” she informed him, slightly incredulous. “You are not a field agent, and you shouldn’t know anything about this case in the first place. There is no way Jack will allow it.”

“But I do know, and I can help,” he countered.

“And I appreciate that but we can handle it,” Peggy assured him.

“Peggy, you don’t understand. What they’ve done to him with his arm and the brainwashing… he’s dangerous. When I went up against him he nearly killed me. I can’t let you go knowing what you’re up against and not be there,” Steve pleaded, taking her hands in his. Peggy’s resolve faltered slightly, and her voice softened.

“Darling, as much as I appreciate the sentiment, you know you don’t have to protect me. I can take care of myself,” she promised him.

“I know you can, dear. It’s not just that it’s also - I’ve seen him in action. I know what he’s capable of. The things he’d done. The things he _will_ do…” Steve trailed off and looked away. Peggy let out a small sigh and squeezed his hands.

“And he’s your best friend and you need to save him,” she finished softly for him. 

Steve nodded slightly. Though he wasn’t looking directly at her, in that moment, she could see every bit of the hundred and odd years he’s lived reflected in his eyes. Peggy took a deep breath.

“Well Jack won’t like it, but I suppose Jack only likes my ideas half the time anyway, and quite frankly, he can stuff it,” she conceded. 

“Thank you,” he whispered, squeezing her hands. 

“Where’s Carter?”

Jack’s voice from the bullpen caused them to jump apart. Peggy gave Steve a small smile before opening the door and crossing to Jack, Ramirez and Davis, the latter of the two having just arrived moments before Jack.

“Here, Chief,” she said.

“Okay you, Ramirez, Davis, conference room now. Smith and Anderson will be here soon. We start as soon as they get here,” he told them.

“About that, Chief,” Peggy interrupted him before he could start for the conference room. “Agent Carter will also be joining us,” she told him.

Jack paused and gave her an incredulous look. 

“Like hell he will. This mission contains sensitive information that’s on a need to know basis.”

“He knows,” Peggy informed him.

Jack tensed and looked between them before his gaze settled on Peggy.

“My office. Now,” he ordered, turning on his heel toward his office.

Peggy took a breath and followed him.

“Ten bucks on Carter,” Ramirez said as soon as the door had closed behind them.

“I’ll take that action,” Davis replied.

Steve looked at the two of them and raised his eyebrow. Ramirez shrugged at him.

“Whenever Carter gets into it with the Chief, we take bets on who’ll win,” Ramirez explained.

“They’ve been getting along so well lately though, it’s been almost unnerving,” Davis continued.

Steve couldn’t help but smile a bit.

“My money’s on Carter,” Steve told them.

“You just want her to win so you can come along,” Ramirez said. 

“Sure, but I also know that she’ll win,” he said simply. 

 

* * *

 

“How the hell does he know?” Jack started on her as soon as the door was closed.

“He was a part of the 107th regiment that was taken prisoner and then freed by Captain Steve Rogers,” Peggy lied smoothly. “He got a firsthand look at how HYDRA was experimenting on men in order to create a perfect super soldier, and it turns out he’s been following The Asset’s movements since the war. He had tracked him nearly as far as we have. Between the two of us we came to realize that we not only have all the information on his conditioning and missions that he’s accomplished, but we also know where he currently is.”

Jack considered her for a moment.

“How did he find out we were also tracking The Asset?”

“We were talking tonight about his time as a POW and he brought up his personal mission. His trail had gone cold and he knew he had enough information to take it to us and use the SSR’s resources to finish the case,” Peggy explained. 

Jack sighed.

“I’m sure his information’s solid and we’ll be able to use it, but I can’t send him out,” he told her flatly.

“And why not?” she questioned, raising her eyebrow at him. 

“Don’t get me wrong, he’s great at what he does,” Jack defended quickly, “but he’s been here for hardly a month and a half and this is a dangerous mission. We have to maneuver carefully here.”

He gave Peggy a pointed look as he continued. 

“With the SSR’s absorption into SHIELD by the beginning of next year, any major, or even minor misstep could cause half the guys here to lose their jobs. I can’t let that happen.”

Peggy took a deep intake of breath.

Since Jack had gotten the call about SHIELD’s activation and what it meant for the future of the SSR, their relationship had been more strained. She had a secure job once the absorption took full effect, but no one else could be sure. Peggy understood where his trepidation was coming from, but she also knew that Steve was their best chance at a successful mission.

“Jack, you said it yourself he’s an excellent strategist. Considering that this mission needs to be done quickly before we lose their trail again, he’s our best shot at navigating the mission with no previous prep time. He also has more intimate knowledge on the workings of The Asset’s conditioning which will prove useful when we confront him face to face,” she explained.

“I know you’re facing a lot with the absorption of the SSR into SHIELD and you don’t want to make any mistakes that would jeopardize anyone’s position there, let alone their lives, but I have given you a million reasons to take Grant on this mission. He could be the difference of us bringing The Asset back, reversing the conditioning and having help us finally take down HYDRA for good, or the rest of us facing a grim death at the hands of The Asset.”

Jack pondered her words for a few moments, then looked her dead in the eye.

“You really trust him that much?” he asked, voice quiet.

“With my life,” she responded immediately.

She took Jack’s sigh and small nod as a sign of her victory.

“Thank you,” she told him quietly, giving him a small smile.

By the time they emerged from his office, Agents Smith and Anderson had arrived. The five men looked up expectantly when they walked out. Jack looked at Steve, his face expressionless.

“You’re in, Carter.”

“Thank you, Chief,” Steve said earnestly.

“You should be thanking her,” he told him, nodding at Peggy. “Let’s just hope she’s right.” 

He then turned to the rest of the group.

“Conference room, now,” he said, then lead the way. 

Peggy was about to follow when she noticed the other men hold up momentarily. She watched as Agents Smith and Davis begrudgingly handed Agents Ramirez, Anderson, and Steve money. Peggy couldn’t help but form a smile. She caught Steve’s eye, and they trailed behind the other men as they walked toward the conference room. 

“You bet on me?” she asked quietly.

“Always,” Steve told her.

Peggy grinned and closed the door behind them when they entered the room. She took her place beside Jack, who was standing at the head of the table. 

“Alright guys, here’s what’s happening,” Jack began. “We know what The Asset is up to, and we know where we can find him.”

“Time is of the essence so we won’t get into too many details right now,” Peggy continued. “Essentially, HYDRA has been using The Asset to quietly take out its enemies. The reason we haven’t been able to track them is because they’ve been spread out incidents made to look like accidents.”

Peggy handed out the files she had been looking at earlier and then returned to the maps. She began pointing at the different red “x” marks.

“A good assassin never misses their mark. A great assassin can make it look like an accident. Car crashes, medical procedures gone wrong, gang violence, you name it,” she said. “These all would have flown completely under the radar because of their mundanity, save for an oddity here or there that made us suspicious enough to look at these people’s files in the first place. However, because they’ve been so spread out, and even our own agents have ultimately ruled them out as accidents, we’ve never had reason to believe that they were related to anything more malicious. Until now. These ‘accidents’ or ‘unfortunate incidents’ were all the work of The Asset, who as we know, is under the influence of HYDRA.”

“HYDRA has been eliminating their enemies for years unchecked from the shadows,” Jack said. “But we know they’re still kicking, and we’re going after them. We get The Asset, we stand a chance of getting rid of them for good this time.”

“Based on the patterns of the locations of his targets, we believe that they’ve based The Asset from a factory in Russia that’s been shut down for a year and a half. We’ll fly to Russiatonight where we’ll meet with the Howling Commandos. From there we head to the factory and extract The Asset, then bring him back here. That is the sole purpose of this mission,” Peggy explained.

“Wait, the Howling Commandos?” Anderson asked, clearly star struck just by the mention of them. It was times like these that Peggy remembered just how young he actually was.

“Of course. I wouldn’t trust anyone else to help us with something like this,” she said told them.

“Aren’t they always notoriously busy, though?” Smith piped up. “Like, always on a mission, never in one place kind of busy?”

“They’re never too busy for me,” Peggy assured him.

“Isn’t that the truth,” Jack commented.

She turned to him with a raised eyebrow.

“What? I was agreeing. They practically idolize you,” Jack told her.

“I’ll tell you what Jack, you fight alongside them for years during a World War and I’m sure they’ll hold the same amount of adoration for you,” she told him, only half joking. Jack rolled his eyes and continued.

“Alright men, any questions?” he asked.

“Actually, before we get to that, there’s something else,” Peggy interrupted. Jack looked at her curiously and nodded. Peggy took a breath.

“We also know the identity of The Asset. It’s Sergeant James Barnes.”

In the split second before everyone - except for Steve - reacted, you could hear a pin drop from the deafening silence in the room. 

“Wait, the same Sergeant Barnes from the Howling Commandos?” Anderson asked, his eyes wide as saucers.

“The very same,” Peggy told him.

“Barnes died in 1945,” Davis said.

“On February 1st, 1945 Sergeant Barnes fell from a train at a terrible height. A body was never found, so he was presumed dead, but was officially recorded as MIA. HYDRA experimented on Barnes when they captured the 107th regiment in 1943, which allowed him to survive the fall. Since then he was recaptured, and has been brainwashed and tortured into becoming The Asset.”

“How do you know it’s him?” Smith asked.

“It’s difficult to explain, but I don’t have a single doubt that it is him,” she answered.

Jack finally spoke, never having broken his gaze at Peggy since she announced The Asset’s identity.

“So we’re hunting down a ghost?”

Peggy turned to look at him.

“After what Erskine and Stark did for Captain Rogers, and what we saw Frost do firsthand in California, is it really so far fetched?”

Jack slowly shook his head, though she could tell he was still quite shocked at the news.

“Never a dull moment, is it?” he replied. Peggy shared a tight, half smile with him before he turned back to the group.

“Alright, Carter’s lead. This is arguably the highest stakes mission we’ve ever done, so listen to every word she says. She knows what she’s doing, and I can guarantee that she’ll probably save most of your asses out there,” he said seriously.

“Just like the last time we went to Russia. What was that, ’46?” Ramirez reminisced fondly, then suddenly sat up straight as he realized something.

“Hey, isn’t that where we learned the most important lesson in all our years of serving?” he asked pointedly, the glint in his eyes revealing that he already knew the answer to his own question.

“Sure was. Endorsed by the great Captain America himself,” Jack said dramatically, putting his hand over his heart in a patriotic manner, causing Ramirez to laugh.

Peggy narrowed her eyes and looked between them, though she had the ghost of a smile on her mouth threatening to give her away.

“I hate you both. And I hate Dugan for telling you about that.”

“Hey we weren’t the ones who said it first,” Ramirez countered.

“Yes but you’re not even telling it properly,” she complained.

“Well we don’t have time for the full version now,” Jack told her.

“Isn’t that convenient, considering the full version involves me saving both of your asses,” she mocked. 

“Look I’ll tell you what, whoever survives this mission will get to hear me tell the full story about Russia over a drink. And I’ll pay,” Jack offered.

“Deal,” Peggy said, before turning to her team. “Alright now everyone get into full tact gear. Carter, I’ll go down with you to get you your gear and extra weaponry for the mission. We’ll get changed and meet the lot of you before heading out. We’ll go over more details and our strategy on the plane before we meet with the Commandos. Understood?”

“You got it boss,” Ramirez answered while the rest of her team agreed before standing and heading to get changed - save Jack, who would be waiting to escort them to the plane.

As Peggy walked with Steve toward the weaponry room, he spoke up.

“So what exactly did I endorse?” he asked, his voice filled with curiosity.

“Men listening to me and taking my orders,” she said simply.

She could see him nod in agreement out of the corner of her eyes.

“Sounds right to me,” he said.

Peggy smiled knowingly. Steve had always been one of her biggest advocators and supporters when it came to her taking charge and getting the job done. He had a way of knowing that he needed to stay back and let her do what she needed to do, but also when to step in and offer her backup.

They got Steve his gear and Peggy picked up a few extra things she’d thought they’d need to take along with them. No matter that they had Steve and the Howling Commandos along with them on the mission, Peggy knew this would be far from easy, and she refused to be anything less than prepared.

Peggy led Steve to the men’s change room. She noticed him raise his eyebrow when she went to push open the door, and she paused to look at him.

“There’s no women’s change room,” she shrugged.

“What?” he asked.

“Oh I know,” Peggy said, trying not to laugh at Steve’s incredulous look on her behalf.

She pushed open the door, and called out.

“Carter coming through.”

She chuckled and rolled her eyes as Davis, Smith, and Anderson all jumped. They hadn’t been on many tact missions with her and still hadn’t quite gotten used to how brazenly she would enter the change room. 

“Relax boys, I doubt it’s much more impressive than anything I’ve already seen,” she joked as she walked to the other side of the lockers and began to change.

“I take offence to that,” Anderson told her.

Steve couldn’t help but chuckle as he claimed a locker where the other men were finishing getting changed.

“Aren’t you offended?” Davis asked him.

“No. She wasn’t talking to me,” Steve told them as he began to change.

“Well I doubt you’re any more impressive than the rest of us,” Smith told him, turning away to pick up his bullet-proof vest.

“Uh actually you might not want to put money on that,” Anderson said as he looked over at a now shirtless Steve.

“Damn, Carter, how much do you work out?” Ramirez asked him as he followed Anderson’s gaze.

“A normal amount,” Steve shrugged.

“Maybe Carter should come over here and compare,” Smith called out to Peggy.

“I’m perfectly fine here, thank you,” she replied, rolling her eyes. Sometimes they still acted like school boys. 

Still, she couldn’t help but grin, knowing exactly what they were referring to regarding Steve’s physique.

“You sure? Looks like Carter here could be a match for the ‘oh so impressive’ men we couldn’t stack up against,” Davis said.

“I’ll take your word for it. Besides, Davis, you yourself sound quite interested and I wouldn’t want to get in your way,” Peggy teased him.

“I’m really flattered, but you’re not my type, Davis,” Steve joked, causing everyone to laugh. 

Steve finished changing, and the men waited for only a few moments before Peggy called out.

“Everyone decent over there?”

“We’re all dressed, but I can guarantee you that Davis has never been decent,” Ramirez joked.

Davis punched Ramirez in the arm as Peggy walked around the corner, now in full tact gear.

“All right boys, let’s go ruin HYDRA’s day,” she ordered, a playful glint in her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A HUGE thank you to Darcy for being my beta reader on this one and keeping my facts straight. Truly, you're a star <3


	7. Like Old (New) Times

**July 10th, 1949 - An SSR Aircraft Travelling From the USA to Russia**

Chief Jack Thompson had accompanied them all the way to their plane that was taking them to Russia before saying goodbye and wishing them luck. As soon as they had taken off, both Steve and Peggy began consulting the map that they had brought and began to plan the best way to make their way into the factory and take The Asset, building off of one another’s suggestions. The other four men watched them work, slightly in awe at how quickly they were formulating each decision and the way they both worked together with an ease that seemed practiced. None of them knew just how much practice they had had at this type of thing during the war. 

Not much time had passed before they had settled on their best route into the factory, and they relayed the plan with the team. Peggy then told them all to try and get some rest. They still had 11 hours left on their flight and it would serve them best to be properly rested.

Once everyone except for herself and Steve had settled in to sleep, Peggy looked over at him. His eyebrows were furrowed in concern. She stepped closer to him and spoke quietly, not wanting to wake any of the other men up.

“What is it? Do we need to rethink any part of the plan?” she asked.

He shook his head slowly.

“The fellas,” he said quietly.

Peggy’s mouth opened slightly in realization. When she called in the Howling Commandos to be their tact team, she hadn’t thought Steve would be going. After he joined the mission, it didn’t even cross her mind what it would mean for him to have to come face to face with them again.

“I’m sorry,” she said simply, not knowing what comfort she could possibly offer him.

He merely shrugged in response. Peggy bit her lip in concern.

“You could tell them it’s you,” she said.

Steve shook his head.

“Too risky.”

“I know how they can be sometimes but they love and respect you. They’d keep your secret safe,” she told him.

“I know, but revealing who I am to them in Russia so close to HYDRA? With our luck, all hell will break loose,” he reasoned.

“Then we can send them a postcard after we get back,” she joked.

She could see the tension in his shoulders release as he let out a small laugh.

“I love you,” he told her, pulling her to him.

She smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“I love you too,” she responded, going up on the tips of her toes to kiss him.

 

* * *

 

“Have you ever jumped before?” Davis asked Steve as they all put on their parachute packs.

“Once or twice,” Steve replied, chancing a glance at Peggy, who smiled at the shared memory of his first jump.

“Prepare for drop,” their pilot, Agent Cheung, called out over the plane’s radio.

They all then got into line. Peggy checked back to make sure her team was ready to go, and then she jumped, followed by each of the five men in turn. Once they had all landed, they gathered their parachutes and hid them under thick brush.

“Ramirez, you take up the back, keep close,” Peggy ordered, taking the lead.

She led them to their rendevouz point, 7 kilometres away. They heard nearby leaves rustling, and the six of them instantly drew their weapons.

“Liberty,” a familiar voice said.

“No, it’s freedom,” another voice whispered.

“Liberty,” the first voice repeated.

“It’s sovereignty,” a third chimed in.

Peggy rolled her eyes fondly.

“Dugan had it right for once, codeword is liberty,” she said out loud.

“Ha!” Dugan said triumphantly, revealing himself from the shadows. “Hi Peggy,” he greeted fondly.

Peggy smiled at him and nodded at the rest of the Howling Commandos as they appeared from the shadows around them. 

“Truly it’s a miracle you manage to get on without me,” she teased them before turning to her team.

“Gentlemen, these are the Howling Commandos: Pinky Pinkerton, Happy Sam Sawyer, James Montgomery Falsworth, Jacques Dernier, Gabe Jones, Jim Morita, and Dum Dum Dugan,” she introduced each of them in kind.

“You all know Agent Rick Ramirez, of course. These are Agents Jim Smith, Charles Davis, Michael Anderson, and Grant Carter,” she continued.

“Carter?” Jones asked immediately. 

“No relation,” she told them firmly.

Dugan gave her a look, clearly amused, but didn’t say anything further about the subject.

“Alright then everyone, let’s get to the transportation. We’ll split into groups of three, and one of four,” Dugan said, then turned to Peggy for the assignments.

“Pinky, Smith, Davis and Dernier. Falsworth, Morita and Anderson. Sawyer, Jones, and Ramirez. Dugan and Carter with me,” she decided. 

“You heard her, let’s go,” Dugan told both teams.

Peggy smiled and stepped to Dugan. They both led the way to where the trucks were waiting. 

Peggy climbed into the back of the first truck, followed by Dugan and Steve. Dugan took a seat right next to her, and Steve opted to sit across from them, leaving a reasonable distance. No matter how much she knew he wanted to, he couldn’t just join them and act like when they were back in the war. Peggy understood how much it must hurt, seeing your friends after so long and not being able to tell them that you’re alive, forced to pretend to be nothing more than a stranger. A sadness enveloped her at the thought, but she wouldn’t reveal his secret unless he asked her to. 

Once the truck started moving, Dugan gave Peggy a pointed look and she smiled knowingly, pulling a bottle of bourbon out of her bag. 

“Atta girl,” Dugan told her as she handed it to him. “It’s been a while,” he commented.

“Yes I’m afraid so. Not many threats to bring us over to your side of the ocean,” Peggy agreed as Dugan poured them each a drink. 

“Until now,” he said grimly. 

He then looked at Steve. 

“You’re not a lightweight, are you?” 

Steve, who had been discreetly watching and listening to their interaction, looked up at him with an unreadable expression.

“Not at all,” he responded. 

Dugan nodded and poured a third drink, raising it and offering it to Steve. Steve gave him a small smile, moving over to accept it, and then took a seat beside Peggy. She raised her cup and clinked it with both Steve and Dugan’s. They drank for a few minutes in silence. 

“I can’t believe HYDRA’s back,” Dugan finally said quietly. 

“They never left,” Peggy corrected flatly. 

“Our victory over them was the only thing that kept the fellas going for a while, especially the first few weeks after it happened,” he admitted. “I always used to think that it might have been okay, losing Cap, just because it meant that we won. We at least had that.”

Peggy could feel Steve tense beside her, and she discreetly found his hand and laced their fingers together. 

“Yes well now this time we get rid of them for good,” Peggy said, her voice tight.

Dugan poured them each another drink, and then raised his cup.

“For the Captain,” he said. 

“For the Captain,” Peggy echoed, gently tapping his cup and keeping it there for just a moment. 

They drank. 

“So,” Dugan began again, looking over at Steve. “Peggy ever tell you about the war?”

“A thing or two,” Steve said neutrally. 

“Well whatever she told ya, she’s probably being too modest. None of us would have made it without her. Even Captain America,” Dugan informed him.

Peggy gave Dugan a pointed look, though she was smiling softly. 

“I can believe that,” Steve agreed. “After seeing her in action, it’s clear she’s the one keeping the SSR together.”

“Unfortunately it’s full of idiots who can’t see what we do,” Dugan muttered.

“Yes but with you two by my side, I don’t need to worry about the rest of them. I’ll make them listen eventually,” she told them.

“I’ll drink to that,” Dugan told her, though she could see him give Steve a curious look.

Peggy smiled and took a drink along with Steve. It was half a second before Dugan followed suit.

 

* * *

 

Eventually, they stopped and set up camp for the night. Agents Davis and Smith were on the night watch.

The rest of them were gathered around a campfire, Peggy settled between Dugan and Jones. Steve sat across the circle from her between Pinky Pinkerton and Agent Ramirez.

“And that was the last time I ever let Jones try to cook anything for me,” Falsworth finished his story, causing everyone to laugh.

“I’d like to see any of you try to make anything good with those ingredients,” Jones defended.

“Next time just shoot me, it’d be less painful,” Falsworth told him, causing the group to erupt in chuckles. 

“Okay so that’s worst cook. Who’s the best?” Anderson asked, trying to contain his giddiness. Peggy’s heart warmed for the young man who was currently surrounded by some of his heroes. 

“Easy, that’s Dernier,” Happy Sam said. 

“Only because Cap’s gone,” Morita defended. “Otherwise it’d be a tie.”

The mood sobered for a moment before Peggy spoke up.

“Are we including coffee in this category?” she asked.

“We probably should, considering how much of it we drink,” Pinky noted.

“Well in that case we have to give the point to Dernier,” Peggy said. “Captain Rogers could cook but his coffee was terrible.”

The comment earned a round of laughter and agreement from the original Commandos and broke the tension in the air.

“Was it really that bad?” Ramirez asked.

“Let me put it this way, if he didn’t like Peggy so much, I’d have thought he was trying to poison us,” Dugan said. 

Peggy smacked him upside the head as the group of them laughed.

“Point to Dernier,” Morita conceded. 

Peggy looked over at Steve, who was smiling fondly at the Commandos as they contributed more comments about the quality of his coffee. They shared a soft smile and she shrugged slightly, causing his smile to grow.

 

* * *

 

They woke up early the next morning - much to Dugan’s disappointment - and made the twenty minute trek to the HYDRA base. Peggy took out her binoculars and scouted the area, noting where there were a few guards patrolling before turning to her team.

“Alright, two teams of four and one team of five. Anderson, Sawyer, Morita, and Dernier will take the east doors. Falsworth, Smith, Davis, and Pinky, you’ll slip in through this entrance here. Dugan, Carter, Jones, Ramirez and I will take the north of the building.”

She then dug through her bag and pulled out several syringes, handing one out to each man.

“Remember, The Asset is extremely dangerous. If he’s awake, we’ll have a hell of a time bringing him in. As soon as you have a lock on his location, radio it in and we’ll all converge there. These are filled with a powerful sedative that will hopefully knock him out long enough for us to get him on a plane and back to America.”

A heavy air fell between them as the reality of what they were about to face began to sink in. Peggy had debriefed the Commandos about The Asset’s identity the night before during their campfire. There had been a mixture of reactions, which had led to them sharing their favourite Bucky stories from the war. In the end, they all vowed to do whatever it took to save their old friend.

“Any questions?” she finished.

“No, boss,” Ramirez said.

Peggy nodded at them and they broke off into their teams.

The north entrance was the furthest away from where they had been standing. When they arrived, Peggy’s team found an opening and slipped in unnoticed. Once they were in, she looked over at Steve and tilted her head to her right. He nodded and began to lead them through the back halls of the building, having committed the blueprints of the factory by heart. Though they couldn’t be certain, he and Peggy had figured that there were three possible locations they’d be keeping Bucky in the building, and they were headed for the one closest to their location. They arrived at the room having only needed to knock out two guards, who Jones then hid in a nearby closet. They paused at the closed door. Steve looked at Peggy, waiting for her signal. She looked at her team, who all nodded in affirmation. Peggy then looked back at Steve and gave him a firm nod. He kicked in the door. The five of them rushed in, guns at the ready, only to be confronted by a large empty room, save for a few filing cabinets. Dugan and Ramirez began looking around the room for any secret entrances or hidden people, and Peggy walked over to one of the cabinets. There was a drawer slightly ajar, and she carefully pulled out a file that was just barely sticking out. Before she had a chance to open it, a thundering alarm began to blare and the room began flashing a red light. All five of them immediately looked up in horror.

“We got a situation in the east!” Anderson’s voice sounded over all of their radios.

Swearing, Peggy immediately shoved the file into her jacket and ran out the door behind Steve, who had taken off the second they heard the radio call.

It didn’t matter that he had aged so many years, the world leaving him more damaged and hard. He would always be the first to jump into the fire to save others.

Upon getting closer, they could hear the bullets being spewed from machine guns as Anderson’s team was caught in a stalemate with some HYDRA agents. They arrived to aid them just in time for an explosion to go off close to their left, throwing everyone off balance and knocking them all to the ground. When Peggy recovered, she looked toward Steve, who was already looking to her. She saw his eyes soften as he realized that she was unharmed, knowing that her expression matched his.

In the aftermath of the explosion, a lone figure with long black hair wearing a black mask appeared through the large hole in the wall. He had a metal arm that held a Thompson submachine gun. 

For a moment after the dust had settled, the room stopped breathing.

The Asset began to lift the machine gun, and in an instant, the room came back to life. The HYDRA agents joined The Asset in firing at the SSR Agents and Howling Commandos, all of whom ducked for cover behind large pieces of debris before taking arms and firing back. 

Peggy could see The Asset - Barnes, she had to remind herself - begin to approach them, never lowering his gun. 

“Peggy?” Steve said as he arrived at her side.

“Yes?” she asked, looking in the same direction as him, at their old friend.

“Cover me.”

“Wait-” she began, but was cut off by Steve grabbing a flat piece of debris from the ground beside them and rushing toward Barnes.

Pegg’s stomach tightened as she kept firing at the agents who pointed their guns at Steve while he knocked the machine gun Barnes was using out of his grasp and engaged him in hand to hand combat. She could see Steve using the piece of metal he had grabbed just how he had used his shield during the war. It filled her with a strange sense of nostalgia, and a deep fear that she hadn’t felt since the war. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed the Commandos pause for the briefest second, and in that moment she felt their shared heartache at the hauntingly familiar sight.

The pseudo-shield that Steve had been using was knocked out of his grasp by a carefully angled kick by Barnes, followed by a punch to his face that knocked him to the ground. Peggy saw Barnes go to kick him while he was down. She took a breath and landed a careful shot to the area where his metal arm connected with his shoulder. Though she could tell it didn’t do much - if any - damage, it caused him to stop his attack on Steve and focus on her.

Peggy’s blood went cold as she looked into his blue eyes. The warmth and charm that had once been there was now replaced with an empty, calculated rage as he began to advance toward her. However, before he could get more than a few steps in, Steve had recovered and hit him from behind with his pseudo-shield.

Bucky immediately whipped around and he re-engaged combat with Steve. Peggy kept her gun aimed in their direction but refrained from firing, knowing she couldn’t risk accidentally hitting Steve, which would have been very likely considering the speed at which they were moving and landing blows on each other. 

Steve threw a particularly hard punch to Bucky’s gut, causing him to double over, then threw him down the hall, causing the black mask that was covering half his face to fall off. Steve saw an opportunity and began to goad him into chasing him away from the action.

Peggy watched as Barnes ran after Steve. Both of their enhanced speed allowed them to disappear down the hall in a matter of seconds. Cursing, she yelled out at her team.

“Cover me!”

Without giving them a second to question her, she had launched herself over their makeshift barricade and was sprinting down in the same direction that Steve and Barnes had gone. A series of bullets whizzed by her head as she dove to her right where she had seen them turn. Rolling back onto her feet, she continued as fast as she possibly could. She stopped abruptly when she came upon three different possible directions to go in. Breathing heavily, she looked between each one until she heard a beep and a bang to her left. She bounded off in that direction, and from a distance she saw Bucky run into a room, followed by Steve. However, as Peggy approached, a bullet flew by her left arm and she watched as it hit the keypad beside the door, causing it to close shut. She immediately turned around and began firing at the three HYDRA agents that had appeared behind her. With her machine gun, she managed to knock them out rather quickly before they had a chance to take another shot at her completely exposed body. 

Not even allowing time for the bodies to finish hitting the floor, Peggy ran to the door and cursed when she found that the damage to the keypad had caused it to remain locked shut. She swore again and peeked in through the small window, where she saw Steve and Barnes’ hand to hand battle grow even more gruesome by the second. The right side of Steve’s face was nearly covered with blood, and Barnes seemed to have a large cut across his left cheek and a busted lip.

Peggy looked at the keypad and attempted to cross some of the now exposed wires in an attempt to get it to open. When that didn’t work after half a minute of trying, she fired her machine gun relentlessly at it until the door finally opened. She ran into the room as Bucky shoved Steve against a wall and held him there. Neither of them were made aware of her presence, even as the door closed behind her. Peggy raised her gun at Barnes and aimed for his right leg.

An empty _click_ was the only thing that her finger on the trigger produced. Peggy watched Barnes’ metal arm began to choke Steve.

_When I went up against him he nearly killed me._

Over her dead body.

“Hey!” she called out. She saw Barnes’ back stiffen and he turned to look at her.

He seemed to lose interest in the now semi-conscious Steve, tossing him aside before he started toward Peggy at an unnerving pace. She straightened up and swung her machine gun at him like a bat once he was within a close enough distance. He easily blocked it with his metal arm and crushed it, taking it from her and throwing it to his right. He then threw a punch in her direction, and she dove out of the way.

Peggy had sparred with Steve, both during the war and after his return to her. Even though she knew that he had the tendency to hold back a bit for fear of hurting her, she could keep up rather well. She had faced both Dottie and Genevieve, and though they had been her physical superiors, she had always managed to maintain the upper hand. 

However, Barnes’ fighting style was something on an entirely different level. His mission was clear. He had nearly killed Steve twice now after just a few hits, and Steve had the effects of the serum on his side. There was no telling what damage he could do to her if he landed a hit. As she swiftly evaded each of his attacks, Peggy knew she would have to quickly think of a way to sedate him if they ever stood a chance at bringing him home.

He lunged for her and she only managed to half step out of the way before he grabbed her arm and held her in place while he swung his fist at her face. Peggy leaned her upper body back, narrowly dodging it. Barnes then threw her into a large machine, and she fell on her back. The force of the impact caused the machine to lose its balance and fall in her direction. Peggy cried out as it landed on her right leg, effectively pinning her to the ground. She tilted her head back and could see him advancing toward her. She sat up, ignoring her body’s cries of pain, and struggled to lift the machine trapping her leg in a futile attempt to escape.

He was less than five steps away from her when Steve charged at him, tackling him to the ground. He managed to land a few punches before pinning Bucky down. They struggled, and Bucky spat out his first words since they had seen him. 

“You will fail.”

Steve shook his head sadly.

“Can’t do that pal. I’m with you to the end of the line.” 

Peggy watched as Barnes froze and stopped fighting. He gave Steve a strange look. Steve used the opportunity to pull out his syringe and drive it into his friend’s neck. The sudden intrusion caused Barnes to begin to struggle against Steve again. Though the sedative seemed to be working, Barnes’ metabolism was cycling it through his body at a rate that made it difficult to take full effect. Peggy reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out the one she was carrying.

“Steve!”

He looked up from where he was still restraining Bucky as she threw him the syringe to the best of her ability at this angle. He easily caught it and injected it into Bucky’s neck. The second dose seemed to do the trick and he slowly stopped struggling before going unconscious. Once he was certain that his friend was properly knocked out, Steve stood and bolted toward Peggy. He lifted the machine and threw it to the other side of the room. Peggy groaned in relief. Steve kneeled beside her and gently held her face in his hands, looking at her with concern. 

She took a moment to examine his face. There was a giant gash above his right eyebrow, his left eye was bruised and swollen, his nose looked crooked, and there was a sizeable bruise on the left side of his jaw that threatened to affect his lower lip.

Peggy figured she didn’t look much better. Though her body was what ached terribly, she knew from how she hit the machine that there was a large bruise on her right cheek and jaw area, and that it was also possibly bleeding.

Steve let out a shaky breath and gently touched his lips against hers, seeming to need the physical reassurance that she was okay. Peggy’s eyes fluttered shut at the contact and she gently reciprocated. They pulled away after only a moment, knowing that their mission was only half done. Steve helped Peggy stand, and though it was difficult to move, she assured him that she’d be able to travel just fine. The door suddenly opened behind them, and Dugan, Ramirez, Anderson, and Jones all came rushing in with their guns at the ready. They took in the destroyed room, The Asset’s body lying unconscious on the floor, and both Agent Carters’ bruised and bloody faces.

“Well didn’t you two have all the fun before we got here,” Ramirez joked, though his eyes were wide.

“We would have left some of the fight for you, but ultimately decided it was rude of you all to keep us waiting so long,” Peggy said flatly.

“We would have found you sooner if either of you bothered to answer the radio,” Dugan told Peggy sternly as Jones informed their other members of their location via radio. 

She frowned and reached for her shoulder, only to find that her radio wasn’t there. It must have gotten knocked off at some point during her struggle with Barnes. Even if it had remained in tact, she didn’t think there would have been much of an opportunity to answer them.

Steve walked over to Bucky and picked him up, easily throwing him over his shoulder, much to the surprise of the four men.

“Okay I have so many questions. The first is _damn Carter_ ,” Anderson commented.

Peggy rolled her eyes and was stopped from retorting when Steve spoke up.

“That’s not a question. Now, how many more HYDRA agents do we have to get through to get out?” he asked.

At that moment, the wall on the other side of the room blew open, revealing Dernier, Smith, and Morita.

“How convenient we were in your neck of the woods,” Dernier said casually.

Steve’s head perked up, his ears picking up on a group of distant footsteps rapidly approaching. 

“We need to leave now,” he told them.

“Right this way,” Morita said.

Davis radio’d in that they were all escaping and needed to rendevouz immediately, and Dugan handed Peggy an extra handgun.

“Everyone cover Carter and Barnes. Morita, lead us to the truck,” Peggy told them.

Everyone sprung into action at her orders, following Morita out and forming a protective circle around Steve and Bucky. Peggy tried to mask her severe limp as best she could, though when Dugan silently appeared by her side at the rear of the circle, she knew she wasn’t as convincing as she wanted to be.

They remained unnoticed until Peggy and Dugan rounded the corner that brought the truck into sight. A stream of bullets whizzed right by them. Peggy called out to her team to run and they all sprinted toward the truck, save her and Dugan, who went at a slower pace, but remained as tight as they could to the group. 

“Watch your heads!” she heard a voice shout from the truck.

They all ducked their heads as Davis, Sawyer, Pinkerton and Falsworth stood up from their positions in the truck and began firing at the HYDRA agents that were shooting at the traveling group. They kept them covered as they all piled in, Peggy taking Dugan’s hand and allowing him to pull her up into the back of the truck. He helped her sit as the truck began to speed away.

Peggy watched as the rest of the men followed suit, leaning against the walls of the truck for support. Jones and Falsworth then began taking in everyone’s injuries and noting their severity. Most of them only had minor injuries, save for Steve, Peggy, and Happy Sam Sawyer, who had gotten shot in the abdomen.

Beside her, Jones set to work in wrapping Happy Sam’s abdomen to prevent more blood loss. He was lucky that the vest had absorbed most of the hit. At everyone’s badgering, Peggy gave them a brief and vague synopsis of how both her and Steve overpowered Barnes and injected him with two syringes of the tranquilizer. 

Jones then went about checking Peggy’s leg. As she had strongly suspected - but silently hoped against - he told her that her leg was broken. He set her leg back to its proper position, causing her to let out a small involuntary cry.

Steve flinched forward as he instinctively went to cross to her, but stopped himself. Peggy noticed and locked eyes with him. She gave him a reassuring smile and silently thanked him for not making a scene. Beside him, she could tell Dugan had also caught Steve’s instinct, though he chose not to comment on it. 

Jones wrapped her leg tightly so that it would stay in place until she could receive proper medical attention back at the SSR. A silence fell over them all as one by one, each of their attention turned to Barnes’ still body. 

“Now what?” Morita asked quietly after a few minutes, looking at Bucky.

“Now we bring him home and undo HYDRA’s damage. He’ll be the Barnes we knew again in no time,” she told him firmly, though she had an inkling that the process wouldn’t be anywhere near that easy. 

 

* * *

 

When they finally arrived at their rendevouz with their plane home, it was already nighttime. They began to say their goodbyes, Agents Davis and Smith carrying Barnes’ still unconscious body to the plane, followed by Agents Anderson and Ramirez. Steve remained by Peggy’s side as she said an individual goodbye to each of the Commandos, finally landing on Dugan.

“Always a pleasure, Miss Union Jack,” he teased her.

Peggy scrunched her nose in disagreement.

“I thought we vetoed that nickname,” she told him.

“We tried, but after you left the last time he kept coming up with worse ones. They were bad,” Dernier rolled his eyes.

Peggy gave Dugan a fond smile and shook her head at him. 

He hugged her tightly.

“Bye Peggy,” he said when they parted.

“Goodbye Dugan,” she said softly.

Dugan then looked at Steve.

“You’re a hell of an agent, Carter,” he told him. “And a good guy. It was nice meeting you.”

Steve gave him a sincere smile.

“You too,” he replied softly.

After one final goodbye, Dugan watched closely as Peggy allowed Grant to wrap his arm around her waist to help her walk onto the plane. He didn’t miss the way that she leaned into him, or how tight his grip on her waist was.

For a moment, Dum Dum Dugan was reminded of a time in his life more than four years previous. A time where it was normal for him to often catch stolen glances that occurred between blue and brown eyes, the distance between uniforms of those same colours as little as they could make it while still remaining professional. His heart still ached at the thought of it, but there was something about this new agent that made those memories hurt less, though he shook his head at the thought. 

It was too far-fetched for it to possibly be true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, huge thanks to my lovely beta Darcy, who helped a ton with some key moments in this chapter <3


	8. Remember Me (Promise You'll Try)

**July 12th, 1949 - An SSR Aircraft Travelling From Russia to the USA**

Steve watched from the other side of the plane as Peggy was deep in discussion with Agent Ramirez. They were far enough away and speaking at a low enough volume that he couldn’t overhear them. Not that he was trying to. Since he had gotten the serum, he had become accustomed to accidentally eavesdropping on almost every conversation. After a few years, unless he was particularly interested, it had become white noise to him on some level, and was easier to ignore.

Peggy nodded at Ramirez and he stood to claim a corner of the plane to settle down and sleep for the next few hours. Smith, Anderson, and Davis were already out like a light. She then looked over at Steve and stood up, clearly trying to mask her pain as she limped over and sat beside him. 

“How’s your leg?” he asked as she shifted slightly in her seat. 

Though she was an expert at espionage, there was hardly anything she could hide from him.

“Just peachy, other than the part where it’s broken and in pain,” she muttered.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly.

“Not your fault,” she pointed out.

“I should’ve gotten to you sooner,” he insisted.

“You had just been choked half to death. I believe that warrants you relief of guilt,” she told him.

Rationally, he knew that she was right. He had come to just in time to see Bucky throw her into the machine. But the larger part of him - the part where he held guilt for every person he had ever let down - told him that he was the super soldier, it was his responsibility to keep everyone safe. In the other timeline, she never had to face Bucky while he was under HYDRA’s control. He had changed that, and she had ended up injured.

When he didn’t look at her, she tilted his chin toward her.

“I made this choice, just as you made yours. There will be times where either or both of us get hurt because of the choices we make. It’s part of the lives we’ve decided to lead. Just like during the war,” she told him.

“I lost you during the war,” he reminded her quietly.

“And I lost you,” she echoed, taking his hand in hers and squeezing it gently. “But as hard as it is, we need to be able to not take blame every time the other person gets hurt. We’ll never survive it if we do,” she said softly. 

Steve nodded slowly.

“I know. You’re right,” he whispered.

“Of course I’m right. I thought we already established that,” she teased him.

One of the many ( _many_ ) things he loved about Peggy was her ability to always know how to lift his spirits, even slightly. He leaned down and kissed her gently. Peggy’s eyes fluttered shut and she reached a hand up to his shoulder. She eventually pulled away and whispered.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Peggy,” he said, brushing a loose hair behind her ear.

She leaned into his touch and stifled a yawn.

“You should sleep,” he told her.

“So should you,” she countered.

Steve raised his eyebrow at her.

“Someone needs to watch him,” he said, nodding in Bucky’s direction. 

“There’s no reason it can’t be two someones,” she countered.

Steve kissed her temple in response, knowing full well that she wouldn’t let him be alone right now. He was grateful for it. He didn’t know what he would do if he was left alone with only an unconscious Bucky and his own thoughts for the remaining hours of their flight. Peggy smiled and settled against his side, resting her head on his shoulder, their fingers still intertwined. He knew they were too cozy at the moment for still technically being at work, but he didn’t care. She was his anchor to reality, and he figured it was easy enough to slide two inches apart should any of the other men wake up.

 

* * *

 

When the plane landed, they were met by Chief Thompson on the tarmac. Agents Anderson and Smith remained on the plane guarding a still unconscious Bucky. Steve helped Peggy off the plane, his arm around her waist. They were followed by Agents Ramirez and Davis.

Jack’s eyes widened when he saw the state that Peggy and Steve were in.

“What the _hell_ happened to you two?”

“Relax Jack, will you? Did you really believe we’d go up against a brainwashed, extremely skilled and genetically enhanced assassin without getting a single scratch?” Peggy scolded him.

Jack gave her a pointed look but decided to drop the subject for now.

“Speaking of, where is he?” Jack asked them.

“On the plane being watched by Smith and Anderson,” Steve replied. “He’s out cold but we can’t take any chances. We don’t know how he’ll be when he wakes up.”

“Which brings up the point,” Davis cut in. “How the hell are we gonna get him into the SSR without raising any red flags?”

“Leave that to me, big guy,” a voice appeared behind them, and they all turned to look.

Peggy raised her eyebrow at Howard Stark, who had just arrived with Edwin Jarvis at his side. He took a look at Peggy and Steve and let out a whistle.

“Not much of a happy reunion, was it?” he said, though behind his eyes there was a clear glimmer of concern for his friends.

“Unfortunately not, but we’re all alright,” she told him. “Now, what’s the plan for sneaking Barnes in?”

 

* * *

 

All in all, it went smoother than Steve had expected, even if it was a bit awkward in execution.

There was a hidden area within the New York Bell Co. building that only a handful of people knew about. It had been built in case of situations like these - where they would need a safe house type living situation that also was equipped with the same resources of that as a hospital, along with a few other amenities that anyone related to a secret organization might need in case they needed to lay low in one location for a while, or if there happened to be an item that needed to be stored to the highest security level. It had been commissioned by Jack as an extra protective measure should they ever need to guard anyone or anything precious. 

Howard’s plan had involved putting Bucky’s body in a containment chamber of sorts. He used a lot of technical jargon when describing its features and how it worked, but Steve had years of training from hearing Tony use the same kind of language.

Like father, like son.

He understood that the gist of it was that it could hold Bucky and be easily carried by them. Since it looked similar to a shipping container, they would have no issue parading it in the open until they got to the building. It looked basic, but Howard had assured them that it would provide Bucky with enough oxygen, and should remain sealed even if he woke up and tried to break out.

Steve injected Bucky with two more doses of the sedative to ensure that he wouldn’t wake up prematurely. Though they trusted the integrity of Howard’s transportable containment unit, no one wanted to take any risks after what they had gone through in Russia.

After they arrived at the building, Ramirez, Smith, Anderson, and Davis had taken charge of carrying the containment unit with Bucky in it while Jack and Howard led the way. Steve followed closely behind the Agents helping Peggy walk, though his eyes almost never left the container they were carrying. Jarvis opted to walk beside Peggy instead of with Howard.

They walked through a series of intricate hallways on the other side of the building from the SSR until they entered a room. It looked to be the office of a record label company. A young woman with short blonde hair sitting at a desk greeted them.

“I could go for lunch right about now,” she told them.

“You can’t go wrong with Betsy’s on 116th street,” Jack responded.

The woman smiled at them and discreetly triggered the wall of records behind her to open. Jack nodded at her and led the group of them through the secret passageway.

The hallway led them to what seemed like the foyer of an apartment building before it broke off into three separate hallways.

“Medical rooms are to the right,” Jack said.

“That’s not where we’re taking him, is it?” Steve asked.

“Stark needs to be able to run his tests and monitor him,” Jack explained

“Can’t you do that from a bedroom?”

“The equipment’s already set up there,” Jack told him. 

“HYDRA used to keep him in a lab. If we do the same, we’re no better than them,” Steve said, aggravated by the thought of Bucky becoming a lab rat again.

“What Agent Carter means to say,” Peggy cut in. “Is that we have to be careful about placing Barnes in any environment that would remind him of HYDRA. He had a near lucid moment in Russia but was easily set off again. We can’t risk to place him where he might be triggered by any unpleasant memories. Take him to a bedroom.”

Jack considered the two of them before nodding slightly.

“Fine. Turn left,” he told Howard and the other four Agents who were still carrying Bucky’s body. 

As they began to carry him in that direction, Jack looked at Steve.

“Make sure she gets proper medical attention,” he told him before following them.

Steve tensed. He knew Peggy needed to get her leg properly taken care of, but he didn’t want to leave Bucky alone for another second. If he wasn’t there, there was no telling what mistakes they would make.

“Go, he needs you,” Peggy told Steve, snapping him out of his thoughts.

“You need me,” he protested.

“I am perfectly alright,” she insisted.

Steve went to argue when Jarvis spoke up.

“If I may, I will stay with Miss Carter while you attend to Mr. Barnes. I do have some experience in helping her walk while gravely injured.”

Peggy rolled her eyes fondly.

“Really Mr. Jarvis, you’re almost as dramatic as he is,” she informed him. 

“Now go,” she insisted to Steve.

Steve smiled at her gratefully, and quickly looking around to make sure no one else other than Jarvis was watching, gave Peggy a kiss on her forehead before going off in the same direction as the other men.

“He seems to be rather fond of you,” Jarvis noted casually as he began to help Peggy to one of the medical rooms.

“I should hope so. I’m rather fond of him,” Peggy said simply.

Halfway down the other hallway, Steve couldn’t help but grin at their exchange.

 

* * *

 

After a lot of moving things around, they had managed to get Howard’s equipment settled and running in Bucky’s room. Howard had hooked him up to some sort of machine that was going to keep him sedated for a few more hours so he could run (an extensive amount of) initial tests without fear of any violent repercussions, and then slowly wean him off over the course of another few hours, so as to not give his system a shock by removing it all at once. Though he had a metabolism that rivalled Steve’s, they didn’t want to take the chance that he would go through withdrawal due to the vast amount of doses they had administered to him over the last half day. They had an idea of how HYDRA had changed his physiology, but it gave them no indication as to how it would cause him to react to certain medication. The results of Howard’s initial tests would give him a foundation of what he was working with so that he could hopefully fix it.

There were two agents outside of the doors, with several others on call. Bucky was the SSR’s most well-guarded secret, and they couldn’t risk HYDRA taking him back. Not only that, but until Howard could figure out a way to reverse-engineer HYDRA’s brainwashing, the extra security would also serve to protect the staff working in the facility should something trigger Bucky and cause him to go rogue against them.

As Steve sat in the chair beside his best friend’s bed, he couldn’t help but examine his physical features. He didn’t look too much younger than the last time he had seen him, which had been 70 years in the future. Yet the difference was palpable. 

There was 70 years less ice and blood on his hands. When he had looked into his eyes, his friend had been absent, but his gaze was less empty and cold than it had been when he was first confronted with the Winter Soldier. There was more humanity left there, more light behind the cold exterior, just barely recognizable behind the rage. It gave Steve hope that it would make it easier to bring him back.

Steve knew the hell that Bucky went through after he regained his memory to try and fix himself. Though the journey this time around couldn’t be promised to be easy, there was half a century less of conditioning to undo, and he wouldn’t be alone. Howard had already talked Steve’s ear off about different theories he had for how to help Bucky, eager to get their friend back as quickly as possible.

He wasn’t sure how long he stayed there sitting and watching, but a nurse had come by to clean up his wounds when he had made it clear to Jack that he wasn’t leaving, and Howard himself had even left by then, promising to return to give the order to begin to wean him off the sedative as soon as he was alerted that they had the test results ready. 

Peggy entered the room in crutches, a cast on her right leg. Her face had also been cleaned up, and she had changed out of her tact gear into the spare black pencil skirt and white dress shirt she kept in the office. Though the effects of their mission were visible on her body, he noticed how she showed no sign of fatigue. If she felt it, he assumed that she was making an effort to hide it incredibly well for his sake.

He gave her a small smile. 

“Hey,” he greeted as he stood to grab the second chair and place it next to his. 

She smiled gratefully and sighed when she sat. His heart clenched when he saw how her gaze held nothing but warmth for him.

“We did it,” she told him softly.

“We did,” he agreed, leaning forward and gently pressing their lips together.

Peggy ghosted her fingers over his right cheek. Steve could tell she was scared of hurting him and found her wrist, guiding her hand to cup his cheek more firmly. He stroked the back of her hand with his thumb. When he pulled away, he leaned their foreheads together.

“Thank you for helping me bring him home,” he said quietly.

“My darling, I’d go back into the trenches for you,” she informed him.

Steve couldn’t help but smile and kiss her again. He could feel her smile against his lips, and she pulled away all too soon.

“That being said, we should recognize that there’ll still be a lot of work to do. There’ll be hard days,” she commented.

“I know,” he replied. 

“But, we’ll get him back. Properly,” she promised him.

“It won’t be easy, though. It took one of the brightest minds in the world to fix him last time, and she hasn’t been born yet.”

“She?” Peggy asked, clearly filled with pride for this woman she would never know.

Steve smiled at her.

“Yeah. I think you’d have gotten along,” he thought out loud. 

Peggy seemed quite pleased with that.

“Since we don’t have her, though,” he continued. “We’ll need to figure something else out.”

“Howard will,” Peggy told him. “It may take him longer, but I know he won’t give up until Barnes is fully recovered. And we’ll both be there for him.”

“Yeah. Together,” Steve agreed.

“Well of course together. If you haven’t figured out by now that you’re not getting rid of me I really don’t know how to help you,” Peggy quipped.

Steve let out an earnest laugh for the first time in more than 48 hours, causing Peggy to grin.

“God, I love you,” he said.

“Tell me something I don’t know,” she responded, though her grin gave her away.

Steve leaned in to kiss her again. The door opened and they jumped apart. Steve didn’t miss how Peggy flinched at the pain that the sudden movement had caused her leg. Jack entered the room and gave both of them a serious look.

“Go home, Carters,” he told them.

“We’re not leaving him,” they responded in unison.

The corner of Steve’s mouth twitched up. He was lucky to have Peggy in his corner. The thought, however, was fleeting as Jack spoke again.

“We got it handled here, and you both look like hell,” he informed them. “Barnes isn’t set to be fully awake for another ten hours so there’s nothing for you to do in the meantime.”

“But if something goes wrong and he wakes up early-” Steve began to protest.

“Then we’ll call you,” Jack assured them. “But you’ll be useless to respond to anything unless you get some sleep.”

Peggy looked over at Steve, silently telling him that it was his call.

Jack noticed this and spoke again.

“You did great work out there. According to the fellas, he’s home because of the both of you. If you want to be able to help him properly, you need to take care of yourselves. The best thing you can do for him is be rested for when he wakes up.”

Steve took a breath.

“Alright,” he conceded. “But if _anything_ changes, you call us,” he told Jack.

“Scout’s honour,” he promised. 

Steve nodded and stood as Peggy gathered her crutches. He held the door open for her and gave Bucky one last look before following her out.

 

* * *

 

When Steve woke up hours later, his body felt stiff, but he only shifted slightly so as to not disturb Peggy, who was sleeping on her back. She had quickly realized it was the only half-comfortable sleeping position in her current condition. He was laying on his side, arm draped carefully over her abdomen, his body pressed against hers as close as he had dared. Her face was turned to him, their noses barely two inches apart. 

She looked so peaceful as she slept, the angry bruise and cut on the right side of her face the only thing that betrayed the severity of their last few days. His heart ached at how they marred her face. Steve knew that his looked much worse, but with his enhanced healing abilities, his face would be back to normal by the time Peggy’s was, if not before.

Peggy’s eyes slowly blinked open, and she gave him a small smile. Steve greeted her with a gentle peck on the lips.

“You’ve been quite affectionate lately,” she noted, her voice barely above a murmur as her body clung to its last remnants of sleep.

“You complaining?” he teased softly.

“Not one bit,” she responded, shifting her head forward to gently capture his lips.

The alarm clock went off and they both groaned.

“That bloody thing will be the death of me,” Peggy muttered as Steve silenced it. “I guess that means it’s time then, isn’t it?”

Steve nodded and sat up. He could feel Peggy’s eyes on him as he stretched.

“I’m fine,” he assured her.

“I know you say you are,” she began cautiously. “But we have to prepare for the worst when he wakes up. He recognized you, or at least enough of you that gave him pause, but we don’t know if he’ll have retained any of it. He could lose it when he wakes.”

Steve nodded and turned to look at her.

“I know, but we’ll deal with it together,” he said out loud. 

He wasn’t sure who he was trying to reassure more.

“Together,” Peggy promised.

 

* * *

 

They arrived at the SSR safe house (as Steve had officially dubbed it) and immediately went to the room Bucky was in. Howard, Jack, Ramirez, and Smith were there already, as were a nurse and a doctor.

“Okay I gotta ask, do you two come sold as a unit, or are there moments where you actually exist separately?” Smith teased them.

“Don’t be jealous, Smith, I’m sure if you asked nicely, they’d let you tag along and hold your hand,” Howard quipped on their behalf, not looking up from his clipboard as he wrote some things down.

Steve was grateful for Howard coming to their defence. He could tell Peggy was too by the way that her glare at Smith softened ever so slightly.

“When’s he supposed to wake up?” Jack asked before Smith could reply.

“Any minute now,” Howard said. “I estimated for about five minutes ago at the earliest. Five from now at the latest.”

Fifteen more minutes passed without incident. Steve tried to remain calm, but his body was tense. Howard began fiddling with the machine and triple checking everything.

“What’s the hold up, Stark?” Jack asked, clearly impatient.

“I’m not sure. His body might have taken to the sedative much more than I first thought.”

“But he’ll come out of it, right?” Steve asked.

“Yeah, it may just be longer than we thought,” Howard muttered, though with the way he was flitting around the machine Bucky was hooked up to, it was clear to Steve that he was hardly paying attention to them anymore.

“Look, why don’t we all get back to work, and we’ll reconvene when Barnes wakes up?” Jack told them.

Everyone murmured in agreement except for Steve. When he looked at Peggy, he found her gaze already settled on him. She then turned to Jack.

“Grant can stay here and update us when he’s awake,” Peggy said.

“Carter-“ Jack began, clearly irritated.

“He’s the reason we were able to bring Barnes in. If he wakes up and is still behaving as he was in Russia, it’s safe to assume that Grant is the only one who will be able to efficiently handle him. A lot can happen to Howard in the seconds it will take for the agents to enter the room,” she reasoned.

Jack gave Peggy a tired look, and for a moment, Steve wondered whether he had gone home at all since he had met them at the plane. 

“Fine. See me in my office, Carter,” he told her before leaving, followed by the other agents, who were clearly already muttering bets to each other.

When the door closed behind them, Steve let out a small sigh and looked at Peggy.

“You didn’t have to do that,” he said to her.

“Yes I did,” she told him.

Steve knew he didn’t have words that could properly tell her just how much he appreciated her and how she always seemed to know him better than anyone. He kissed her instead.

“I’m sorry you got in trouble,” he told her when he pulled away.

“Don’t you worry about me, I’m not afraid of Jack,” she told him. 

“You can definitely take him,” he told her.

“I have,” Peggy informed him.

Steve raised his eyebrow and Peggy gave him a mischievous look before kissing him.

They pulled away when Howard cleared his throat behind them.

“Still here,” he said casually. “So unless you want to give me a free show-”

Steve swore that if Peggy’s glare hadn’t stopped Howard in that moment, she would have used her crutch to do the trick.

“Jeez, Peg, I’m kidding. Lighten up,” he attempted to soothe her.

“One of these days, Howard, you’ll find someone you actually like and then you’ll have to keep those kinds of comments to yourself,” she informed him.

Howard snorted.

“Yeah, that’ll be the day,” he scoffed.

Steve couldn’t help but smile knowingly. He always thought it was a shame he’d never had the chance to meet Maria. 

 

* * *

 

_I have failed my mission._

When he opened his eyes, The Asset didn’t recognize the room he was in. He immediately sat up and looked around. He was expecting his handler to be there, ready to wipe him or punish him for incompetence.

Upon further inspection, he realized his handler was nowhere to be found.

_Was this a new mission?_

There was a man sitting in a chair beside his bed fast asleep. His metal arm instinctively went to attack, but something in the back of The Asset’s mind stopped him.

He looked familiar.

He was the man who he fought with at their base.

_An enemy._

But there was something else about him.

_I’m with you to the end of the line_ , the man had said to him.

Why wasn’t that the first time he heard those words?

Why did he remember being the one to say them?

_Complete the mission._

He fought the instinct and chose to analyze the man before him. It wasn’t his programming to think, it was to take orders and act. Yet there was a feeling deep inside him that told The Asset to take stock of the details he knew.

Blond hair, blue eyes, good physique, beard.

_The beard is new._

Wait, how did he know that?

The man shifted in his chair and woke up, looking at him. The man froze as they locked eyes, awaiting his reaction.

“I know you,” The Asset said slowly, though it came out almost like a question.

“Yes,” the man said simply.

“How?” 

“It’s a long story.”

“Tell me,” The Asset demanded, though his voice was quiet.

He watched a flurry of emotions pass through the man’s eyes before he took a breath. For a moment, he looked older beyond his visible years.

“Okay.”

Steve knew that he had to be careful with what he told Bucky. He couldn’t be sure how much of HYDRA’s brainwashing was still engrained in him, even though it had been a good sign that he had woken up and not immediately freaked out or attacked him.

But this was Bucky. His best friend. The man he owed everything to.

Choosing his words carefully, he gave him a recap of their past. Their childhood, the war, Bucky’s supposed death. He decided not to mention anything about Captain America, his own identity or what Steve had witnessed in the future. Bucky needed to remember who he was, so he started with the basics. The rest could come in time with further recovery.

Time. 

The thing that had once been his greatest enemy, was finally on his side. First the love of his life, and now his best friend. He would almost go so far as to say he’d now been blessed with it. He knew all too well just how fickle it was, and to have it so graciously be given back to him is something he would always cherish.

Bucky, for his part, didn’t say a word until Steve was finished, which he was grateful for. He found it hard at moments to stroll down memory lane. Last time, Bucky had filled in the gaps of his memory on his own, and Steve had been there as an additional support further on in the recovery process. Now, he was on the front lines, facing it with him from the very beginning. Though he knew that his friend would be alright, he had still never shaken the part of him that felt guilty for his fall in the first place. 

Steve waited in silence as Bucky processed everything.

“Bucky?” he finally asked.

Steve’s jaw dropped open slightly. He felt his eyes filling with tears.

He hadn’t told him his nickname.

“Yeah, it’s what I’ve always called you,” Steve told him.

Bucky nodded slowly, then stared at Steve’s face, narrowing his eyes as though he was searching for something.

“Steve,” he said quietly. “You’re Steve.”

Steve let out a shaky laugh and nodded, smiling at him.

“Yeah. It’s me, pal,” he said.

The corner of Bucky’s mouth twitched up slightly.

“Steve,” he repeated. Steve thought he might be trying to burn it into his brain.

Bucky tilted his head.

“The beard?” he asked.

“That’s new,” Steve told him. 

He saw Bucky’s mouth form something resembling a ghost of a smile. Steve wondered if he had already knew, or at least guessed.

“One thing you need to know, you can’t call me Steve. You have to call me Grant,” Steve told him.

“Why?” Bucky questioned, narrowing his eyes.

“Because I also died during the war,” Steve admitted.

At Bucky’s confused expression, Steve sighed.

“It’s a long story. Clearly I survived, but no one can know that it’s really me,” he told him firmly.

“Why?” he asked again, more firmly.

“I’ll tell you some other time,” Steve promised.

Bucky stared at him with an unreadable expression. Steve could almost see the gears turning in his head. He knew this wasn’t making it easier for Bucky to sort out his memories, but there was still so much to process. Adding in the 21st century wouldn’t be any more helpful. Bucky eventually nodded slowly, though he clearly still confused.

“So I call you Grant?”

“Yes.”

“Grant,” he repeated. “You got a last name?”

“Carter,” he said. 

Bucky furrowed his eyebrows and tilted his head.

“Carter?” he asked.

Steve didn’t get a chance to explain before the door was opening, revealing Peggy on her crutches. She stopped as she saw that Bucky was now awake and sitting upright, her jaw dropping open a bit. 

After a few moments of tense silence, she spoke up.

“Well, it’s good to see you’re awake,” she said slowly.

Bucky wouldn’t stop staring at her face, and Steve began to worry that she would punch him for staring at her so blatantly for this long. The door had closed behind her and he knew how much she hated feeling trapped.

“What is it, Barnes?” she finally asked. Steve was grateful that she kept her tone soft, though he could tell she was irritated.

“Barnes?” he asked.

“That’s your last name,” Steve reminded him gently, trying not to feel too upset that he had already forgotten again.

“Barnes,” he repeated, sounding slightly more confident.

He then looked back at Peggy, and Steve watched as his eyes widened.

“Carter,” Bucky said out loud.

Peggy’s mouth slowly formed a small smile.

“Yes that’s me,” she told him.

Bucky then snapped his head to look at Steve.

“Carter,” he repeated, slowly.

Steve tried to figure out what dots Bucky was trying to connect when his friend spoke again.

“Did you marry her?” Bucky asked him.

Both Peggy and Steve’s eyes went wide and their jaws dropped slightly. Steve swore he heard something that could only be called a splutter leave Peggy’s mouth.

“No,” she said firmly.

“Not yet,” Steve amended, slightly stung by the force of her negation.

Peggy then turned to look at him, seeming to realize how her answered sounded. Her eyes softened.

“But we will,” she told him, now speaking to Steve instead of Bucky.

“We will,” Steve promised her.

Bucky’s eyes immediately went to Peggy’s left hand, obviously looking for a ring.

“We’re not engaged either,” Peggy informed him.

“Not yet,” Steve reminded her.

The corner of her mouth quirked up.

“If you ever decide to propose,” she teased him.

Steve grinned at her while Bucky looked between the two of them.

“I don’t understand,” he told them, interrupting their banter.

“It’s complicated,” Peggy told him, though she still only had eyes for Steve.

Bucky looked between the two of them suspiciously. The only thing his mind seemed capable of producing was a pub and a red dress. He remembered feeling just as much of an outsider intruding on a private moment.

It was when Carter - female Carter - began moving toward Steve that he realized she was on crutches.

“I did that,” he realized quietly when she had taken a seat beside Steve.

They both turned their attention to him.

“You weren’t yourself,” she told him. “I don’t blame you, and you shouldn’t either.”

He stared at the two of them for a few moments. 

“I failed my mission,” he told them. “You won’t wipe me?”

“No,” Steve told him firmly.

“But I failed my mission,” he repeated.

“We’re not HYDRA. You’re never getting wiped again,” Steve promised him.

Bucky went to protest again when Jack walked in, immediately tensing upon seeing that Bucky was awake.

“When were either of you going to notify anyone that he had woken up?”

“He only just did,” Steve lied to him.

“It seems he vaguely can remember, or at least recall things when prompted,” Peggy continued. “We wanted to give him a few minutes before you all inevitably probe him with needles and questions.”

Jack and Peggy exchanged a look. Steve could tell that he wasn’t 100% convinced. However, he seemed to understand that she was the closest (known) link to Bucky’s past, and therefore his best chance at recovery, which meant that more than he’d like to, he would have to do things her way.

“I’ll call Stark and tell him to get over here,” he told them before walking out.

“I don’t know him,” Bucky said when the door had closed. “But I don’t like him.”

Steve and Peggy shared a smile.

“Chief Thompson is an acquired taste,” Peggy agreed. “But he means well.”

 

* * *

 

After hours filled with tests and questions, Peggy and Steve had finally convinced Howard and Jack to give Bucky a break and let him rest for the night. Steve’s next mission was convincing Bucky that he was allowed to sleep ( _The Asset never sleeps. The Asset is frozen to await the next mission. If The Asset sleeps, The Asset will be stripped_ ). It had taken the better part of an hour to convince him, but he finally managed to settle him down enough to convince him that nothing bad would happen if he fell asleep.

Steve stepped out of the room, finding Peggy waiting for him. She had spent that time with Howard to create a schedule for Bucky as a way of creating a new routine for him, as well as controlling just how much probing Howard was doing to him on a daily basis.

“How is he?” she asked him softly.

“Better now, I think,” he said quietly, walking over to the wall Peggy was standing by and leaning against it. “He thought I was going to punish him if he slept. He repeats his conditioning like a mantra. “The Asset will not do this. The Asset will do that,” Steve sighed, running his hand over his face.

He hated how powerless he felt against it.

“I know it’s difficult. It’ll get better with time,” she reminded him gently. “Besides, it can’t get much worse than nearly punching Howard.”

Steve grimaced at the memory.

“I told him not to touch the arm,” he muttered.

“Yes well maybe now he’ll listen,” Peggy told him. 

He leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes, feeling the effects of the day on him. Peggy’s voice prompted him to look at her. 

“Let’s go home, darling,” she urged him.

Steve nodded, though one thing was still on his mind.

“Peggy?”

“Yes, darling?” she responded.

“About earlier. With Bucky and the whole marriage thing,” he began.

Peggy’s mouth formed a little “o” shape.

“I’m sorry, I was just thrown off by the sudden comment,” she told him. “I didn’t mean it like that. I… I do want to marry you, Steve,” Peggy assured him. “I hope that I’ve made that quite clear.”

Steve smiled softly at her.

“I want to marry you too,” he told her. “So why don’t we just do it?”

“I beg your pardon?” she asked, her eyes going slightly wide.

“We can get married now,” he said. “Why wait?”

“Steve, you have so much going on with Barnes, he needs you right now. I know you’ll only be distracted if you choose to focus on anything other than him. He deserves all your time and attention right now. Don’t worry about me, I’ll still be here,” she told him gently.

She really did know him better than he knew himself.

“Okay,” he conceded, kissing her forehead.

“Besides, I refuse to get married in a cast,” she added.

Steve’s eyes lit up playfully.

“Well since there’s no stipulation on being _proposed to_ while in a cast-” he began as he started to kneel down on one knee.

Peggy’s eyes went wide and she clumsily grabbed his bicep before he could finish kneeling.

“Steven Grant Rogers, you will _not_ propose to me while we are outside Barnes’ room in a safe house where any agent or medical practitioner can walk by at any moment,” she told him sternly.

“Isn’t it really my choice when I’m going to propose?” he challenged, though his eyes betrayed his amusement.

“You’d think, but the last thing we have ever been is conventional,” she reminded him.

“Alright then,” he conceded, standing up. 

He then took a step toward her.

“But when I propose to you, Peggy Carter, it will absolutely blow you away,” he promised.

“And when you propose to me, Steve Rogers, I’ll say yes,” she promised him back.

Steve grinned and closed the distance between them, kissing her deeply. Peggy sighed into his mouth and wrapped her arms around his neck, letting her crutches fall to the ground. As Steve’s arms wrapped themselves around her waist to hold her up, he knew he would do everything in his power to give her a proposal that was worthy of her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I personally thrive on tender moments between Steggy.
> 
> Title loosely taken from "Think of Me" from The Phantom of the Opera. Though if you're going to listen to it, do yourself a favour and listen to Sierra Boggess' rendition. You're welcome.
> 
> My eternal love goes to Darcy for the most tender words I've ever received about any of my work thus far <3


	9. Not Beyond Repair

James Buchanan Barnes had been put on a schedule so precise that it rivalled those from when he served in the military with Steve and Peggy. Everything was outlined hour by hour. The purpose of it - according to Howard - was to create new habits and routines that would overwrite the previous ones instilled by HYDRA. At the same time, Howard would be working with a series of specialists toward eliminating HYDRA’s brainwashing.

For their part, Steve and Peggy were consistently present in every aspect they could be. Steve refused to let his friend go through his recovery alone, and Peggy knew that Steve would wear himself thin if she wasn’t there to make sure that he was also taking care of himself. So together they worked with Howard and gave Bucky their unending support. Which meant that their lives had now been fixed to Bucky’s schedule, turning their lives into a series of:

Lather.

Rinse.

Repeat.

 

* * *

 

**8AMJuly 18th, 1949 - SSR Bullpen**

Like clockwork, Peggy and Steve arrived for work at 8am on the dot. They immediately went to Jack’s office, ready for their daily debrief.

“Got a call first thing this morning. Mission was a success,” he told them.

Peggy smiled in relief and looked over at Steve, whose expression matched hers. Shortly after they had gotten Barnes settled in, they had gotten a tip from the Howling Commandos that they had been keeping watch on the base that they had rescued Barnes from, and it looked to still be active. Steve and Peggy were then delegated to set up all the logistics of the mission, and assign their agents to join the Commandos in taking it over. 

It upset Peggy that her leg injury meant that she couldn’t go with them. It wasn’t that she meant to be ungrateful. She had gotten away with only a cast instead of surgery, but she had never liked sitting on the sidelines, especially when she blamed herself for HYDRA’s continued activity. It had been her negligence that had allowed HYDRA to remain festering in the shadows, and now she couldn’t be there on the front lines to see her mission through. She knew it was irrational, but she felt as though she needed to personally right every wrong that HYDRA had done since she captured Reinhardt. 

Though she refused to let that all that show, of course. 

Jack proceeded to let them know that the files gathered were being transported over, and he suspected that it was highly likely that they contained information on other active HYDRA bases.

“And once we have those, we take care of HYDRA for good,” Peggy said. 

Jack nodded. 

“I want you two running strategy on everything from here. Not a hair out of place. If the Commandos agree, then they’ll join our team as they take out every last base.”

“They’ll agree,” Peggy assured him. 

She knew they felt just as responsible as she did for HYDRA’s resurgence. Peggy felt a slight pang thinking about how it was likely that she wouldn’t be able to join them in the field for at least the near future.

“We won’t stop until they’re all gone,” Steve said firmly.

She could tell that though he wasn’t happy with being benched, he was slightly relieved that it meant he could stay with Barnes during his recovery.

“That’s the spirit. Now, keep this winning streak going, and we’ll be rid of HYDRA by Christmas,” Jack told them.

 

* * *

 

**11AMJuly 23rd, 1949 - A Medical Room, SSR Safe House**

_My name is James Buchanan Barnes. I was born on March 10th, 1917._

_Steve Rogers is my best friend. He goes by the alias Grant Carter. He calls me Bucky._

_I like being called Bucky._

Bucky was staring at his reflection in the mirror opposite the bed he was sitting on, repeating facts he knew about himself.

It was supposed to help him solidify his identity and keep him from dissociating and reverting back into his old state of mind. The longer he went without being frozen, the more he was slowly regaining scraps of memory from his old life. However, this had started to cause his mind to blur his two realities - his two identities - and had led to a series of sporadic violent episodes. 

Constantly repeating things was annoying as hell, but it kept him grounded - and from hurting anyone.

“Alright, buddy, not too bad,” Howard said as he walked in. “Your stats are improving every day.”

_I met Howard Stark during the war. He’s helping me get better._

“You say that every day,” Bucky said flatly.

“Because every day it’s been true,” Howard told him. “Any progress, no matter how little, is still progress.”

_I was kidnapped by HYDRA. They turned me into The Asset. That is not who I am._

Nurse Melanie entered the room, and smiled warmly at him. 

“Good morning, Mr. Barnes,” she greeted.

“Hi,” he replied.

“Ready for your appointment?”

“Yeah, who doesn’t love therapy?” he said, rolling his eyes.

“Well aren’t you chipper this morning?” she sassed him, placing her hand on his hip.

Bucky smiled slightly. Nurse Melanie was the only one of the medical staff who didn’t let him get away with his shit, and who didn’t treat him like he was either made of glass or like a bomb ready to explode.

“I’m always chipper,” he said, hoping off the bed. 

“Dr. Pearson will be happy to hear,” she quipped. “Now come on. Therapy, more tests with Mr. Stark, and then lunch.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know the drill. Lead the way, milady,” he said, though they both knew that he knew exactly where Dr. Pearson’s room was.

“What a gentleman,” she replied simply, though he could see the corners of her mouth twitch up slightly before she lead him out of the room.

_My name is James Buchanan Barnes. I was born on March 10th, 1917._

_I like the pudding they serve for lunch, baseball, and Nurse Melanie._

 

* * *

 

**1PMAugust 2nd, 1949 - Dining Area, SSR Safe House**

Bucky was quiet today.

Some days were good, some days were bad.

Today, he was quiet.

Steve spent every lunch hour with him and they would eat together. On good days, Steve would tell his friend stories from their childhood, or the war, and Bucky would even chime in with things he remembered, or ask questions. 

On bad days, it was like it was the first time he was remembering Steve. There was confusion and trepidation in his eyes. He would catch Bucky’s metal arm flinching out of instinct to attack him if he made any sudden movements.

Today, however, he was just quiet. Steve was usually able to immediately tell what kind of day Bucky was having, but his inability to read him today unnerved him. He decided to play it safe, eating with his friend in silence.

“I’m tired,” Bucky said when they were almost finished their meals.

“You can take a nap between now and 4pm,” Steve told him. “Nothing bad’s going to happen to you.”

“No, I mean I’m tired of this,” he gestured vaguely to the room. “We don’t even know if all this work is paying off.”

Steve frowned. 

“Of course it is,” Steve said. “Otherwise, we wouldn’t be able to have this conversation.”

“I broke a table yesterday,” Bucky said flatly.

“But no one got hurt,” he reminded him. 

“Someone could have. It wouldn’t be the first time,” he said bitterly.

“Once Howard figures out how to detach the arm, you won’t have to worry about it hurting anyone else.”

Steve was always careful to separate Bucky from his brainwashing and his arm. He needed to make him see that the things that he did - the things that he was still doing involuntarily - weren’t his fault.

Bucky stared off into the distance for a few moments, and Steve could see the dark circles under his friend’s eyes.

“I dream about them,” he said quietly. “Everyone that I hurt. Everyone that I killed.”

“That wasn’t you, Buck,” Steve attempted to assure him softly.

“It was. It wasn’t my choice but I still did it. I have to learn to live with that. That’s not something that Stark or any doctor will be able to fix.”

Steve looked at his friend with a heavy heart. He didn’t like it, but Bucky was right. They may be able to take his metal arm off and undo the brainwashing, but he knew from experience that guilt was something that always stayed with you, no matter how much you rationalized against it. It could lessen over time, but the next few months were going to be the hardest for Bucky.

Steve still hadn’t completely forgiven himself for Nat or Tony, after all.

He noticed his friend’s eyes wander over to the other side of the room, where his gaze met with Nurse Melanie’s. She offered him a soft smile and he gave her a small wave.

“You like her,” Steve said out loud. 

Bucky turned back to look at him.

“She’s nice to me,” he said simply.

“She’s your nurse,” Steve said.

“One of them,” Bucky corrected. “Besides, you are the last person that can give me hell for this kind of thing. You and Carter are always mooney-eyed over each other when you think no one’s looking.”

Steve could feel his cheeks go slightly pink, but he smiled.

“For the record, I think Nurse Melanie likes you too,” Steve told him.

Steve didn’t miss the way Bucky’s mouth formed a small smile before he went back to eating in silence.

 

* * *

 

**4PM August 9th, 1949 - Bucky’s Room, SSR Safe House**

“Why are you here?” Bucky asked Peggy. 

Peggy looked up from the chessboard, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“Care to clarify?” she asked him.

“Playing chess,” he said, taking his turn.

“I believe the goal is to win. And I am currently succeeding,” Peggy told him smugly as she captured one of his knights.

“Not for long,” he muttered, analyzing his next possible move. “But you also know that’s not what I meant.”

“Howard has prescribed several different activities specifically designed to stimulate different parts of your brain. It’s to help you regain more control over your own cognitive abilities, which when paired with the therapy and the other tests he’s running, should help clean HYDRA’s control out of you. You know this,” she told him.

“Steve could play chess with me,” he reasoned.

“Steve would also beat you a lot faster than I do, and the point of this is that you get as much practice as possible,” she countered.

“He knows that and would prolong his win on purpose to let me get more practice,” he replied.

Peggy paused and looked at him again.

“Do you have a point, Barnes?” she asked.

“You and I,” he said casually. “We were never particularly close - I think.”

“You’re right about that,” she confirmed, giving him a half-smile.

“But you do this for him,” he noted observantly.

“Yes,” Peggy admitted. “You mean the world to him.”

Bucky snorted at that.

“Stevie’s always been so dramatic.”

“I won’t argue with you on that, but I’m also completely serious. You’re his brother.”

Peggy noticed how Bucky smiled slightly at that.

“Besides,” she continued. “You’re not as bad as you think you are,” she told him.

Bucky raised his eyebrow at her. Peggy could tell he wasn’t sure what to make of her almost-compliment.

“Still. Coming here everyday at 4PM to play games with me? It’s a lot of work just to help your boyfriend,” Bucky pointed out.

Peggy rolled her eyes at his tactlessness.

“He’s more than just my boyfriend,” she told him.

“So he proposed?”

Bucky blatantly looked at her left hand.

“Not yet,” she told him, causing his eyes to snap back to her.

“Because of me,” he stated.

“Not because of you,” she corrected.

“He told me he’s waiting until things settle down. I know I’m ‘things’,” he told her. 

He was good at masking it with nonchalance, but Peggy knew all too well what a self-deprecating tone sounded like. Though it was true that she and Barnes had never been particularly close, they were both stubborn people who hated feeling like they were burdening anyone. Between his jumbled mind and her broken leg, she imagined they were both feeling very similarly at this moment.

Incomplete. Helpless. Useless.

“He’s waiting because I told him to,” she informed him.

“You want to wait?” Bucky asked her, his voice laced with doubt. “Not in a rush to marry Captain America, the country’s greatest hero?”

She knew he was only saying it because of his own insecurity, but that didn’t mean that his words didn’t make her blood boil.

“I know it may be difficult to understand,” she began tersely. “But it’s possible to love someone entirely and not be in such a rush to get everything done. Besides, you should know better than most that I didn’t love Captain America, I loved Steve - I still do.”

She paused for a moment, considering her next words carefully.

“Steve will do anything for those he loves, sometimes even at his own expense. He doesn’t want to feel as though he’s ignoring me by focusing on you, but right now, you deserve all of his attention. I told him that I wanted to wait so that he wouldn’t think he needed to make some grand gesture to make up for anything. Right now, he needs to just be Steve, your best friend. Nothing else, no other expectations put upon him. He’ll be immensely happier for it, whenever he does decide to propose. Quite frankly, I’d wait the rest of my life as long as it meant I got to marry him in the end,” she finished softly.

Bucky looked at her intensely for a few moments.

“You’re good for him,” he said finally, his voice softer than she had ever heard it before.

Peggy was surprised by his response. She knew the role Bucky had played in Steve’s life, always his protector. That was something that didn’t change, even after the effects of the serum. He would always want to protect the man who used to get beat up in alleys to protect the little guy.

And he had just deemed her worthy of his brother.

“I just want the very best for him,” she said, taken aback by how quiet her voice had come out.

“Me too. That’s you, Carter,” he told her.

She could have sworn he smiled at her, but it was gone as fast as it had appeared.

The moment slowly dissipated, and they both turned their attention back to the forgotten chessboard.

“Checkmate,” Peggy said triumphantly after a few more rounds.

Bucky’s eyes went wide and he muttered a few obscenities. 

“Don’t be so crass, you’ve improved since our first game. You should be proud of yourself,” she told him. 

“Yeah at this rate I’ll beat you by the time you and Steve say ‘I do’,” he said, his voice dripping in sarcasm. 

However, when he looked back up at Peggy, she saw a warmth in his eyes that he had never shared with her before, even during the war.

 

* * *

 

**7PMAugust 15th, 1949 - Peggy Carter and Steve Rogers’ Apartment Building, Brooklyn, NY**

Sometimes, being on Bucky’s strict schedule was a blessing. 

It meant that at exactly 7PM every day, both Steve and Peggy were saying goodnight to their friend. Part of Bucky’s recovery was ensuring that he would have nights to himself. It was crucial for him to have time to process the day properly, and begin to learn how to be by himself as his own person.

In case of any incident, the safe house was always filled with both medical staff and SSR Agents, and Peggy and Steve were on the list of the first people to call. Though leaving his friend the first few nights had been hard, Steve knew that it was for the best, and it gave both him and Peggy an excuse to detach themselves from their work for the night instead of running themselves into the ground day after day. It let him enjoy the other aspects of his life, like the walk home.

Steve had to admit that since Peggy had been confined to her crutches, he missed being able to hold her hand when they walked home together. Since no one other than Bucky, Howard and the Jarvis’ knew about their relationship - a situation that they wanted to maintain - they had previously limited themselves to holding hands outside a two block radius from work. Now purely because of the logistics, they had to wait until they were home.

Before their mission to Russia, they had started becoming more daring when they displayed affection to each other at the SSR. It had started with sneakily holding each other’s hands under the table at meetings, which had then led to stolen kisses in the file room, and eventually ended up with both of them half undressed in a locked supply closet, Peggy’s legs wrapped around Steve’s waist, muffling their moans in each others mouths as Steve thrusted into Peggy until they were both spent. 

There was a thrill to having to sneak around that had excited him. He loved seeing the way he left Peggy breathless with an unexpected kiss, or how she had to suppress a laugh if he twirled her as they crossed paths in an empty hallway.

However, with her crutches, it was more difficult to maneuver themselves quickly enough or with sufficient stealth to be able to try anything lately. Though he never brought it up, he could tell that Peggy was frustrated by it. She was used to always being in control, and he knew not even being able to hold his hand when they walked together was harder on her than she was letting on.

Still, he always made sure to make up for their lost moments when they were home. Peggy had gotten injured saving his life, and he was determined to make her healing process as least frustrating as possible. Tonight, he was planning on cooking her favourite meal.

When they got out of the elevator, Steve noticed a woman waiting at the door to their apartment.

“You expecting someone?” he asked Peggy as they approached.

At his voice, the woman turned to them and her face seemed to light up at the sight of them.

Not them. She wasn’t looking at him. She was excited to see Peggy.

“English!” she called out, immediately running over and wasting no time in maneuvering herself around Peggy’s crutches to hug her.

Steve had to stifle a laugh at how the woman seemed to hold Peggy in a death grip.

“Angie?” Peggy asked, slightly incredulous, though there was a large smile on her face as she awkwardly tried to reciprocate.

“Don’t look so surprised,” Angie replied as she released Peggy. 

“You weren’t supposed to be back from your tour for another two weeks,” Peggy pointed out, readjusting herself on her crutches.

“Plans changed. The theatre we were supposed to be performing at in Denver got condemned so we couldn’t go on. They gave us extra time off and added two weeks on the tail end of our run here,” she shrugged. “I got back this afternoon and then I came to find you.”

Of course, Peggy had told Steve about Angie, though nothing would have prepared him for the real thing. She was vibrant, outgoing, and clearly very fond of Peggy. At a first glance, they seemed like an odd pair, but Steve could see the affection and kinship they shared in the way they interacted with each other.

Angie looked over Peggy’s shoulder and finally realized that she wasn't alone. Her lips seemed to curl into a mischievous smile as she looked at Steve from head to toe.

“You planning on introducing me to your friend, English?” she asked Peggy.

“Ah yes, of course. This is Grant. We work together. Grant, this is my friend Angie,” Peggy told him.

“What, four months on tour and you demote me?” Angie asked her incredulously before extending her hand to Steve.

“Angie Martinelli, Peggy’s _best_ friend,” she introduced herself.

Steve grinned in amusement and took her hand, shaking it politely.

“Grant Carter, Peggy’s partner,” he replied.

Angie raised her eyebrow, her interest piquing even more.

“Work partner? Or romantic partner?” she asked.

He glanced at Peggy. She looked slightly exasperated but she nodded and smiled.

“Both,” he responded.

The way Angie smiled could have rivalled the Cheshire Cat.

“So _Carter_ -”

“Is pure coincidence,” Peggy cut in, interrupting her friend.

“You’ve been holding out on me, English,” Angie accused.

“It never came up,” she shrugged.

“Never came up? Two or three times a month I call you. You mention your dinner with your neighbours, your leg, but not _him_?” Angie pointed her thumb at Steve, though she clearly looked pleased at the new development in Peggy’s love life.

“Darling, can you get the door?” Peggy asked Steve instead of replying to Angie.

“You call him _darling_?” Angie asked, as if Peggy had transformed into a whole other person in front of her eyes.

“Of course, dear,” Steve replied sweetly, unlocking their door and opening it.

“Well come on then,” Peggy told Angie, who was looking between them with a grin plastered on her face. “I know you didn’t come all this way to not be invited over for dinner.”

“About time, too,” Angie teased her friend.

 

* * *

 

**10PMAugust 21st, 1949 - Peggy Carter and Steve Rogers’ Apartment, Brooklyn, NY**

Nighttime had become Steve’s favourite time of day. Though he enjoyed spending time with his friend, and the work that he knew was essential to bring down HYDRA, there was something about the domesticity of his home with Peggy that couldn’t be beat. When he would hear her humming a tune as she got ready for bed, or how she’d turn the lamp on for him when he lost track of time reading and hadn’t noticed how dark it was getting. She’d always kiss his temple after.

He still had to remind himself constantly that it was all real.

Steve heard a small clatter in the kitchen and he immediately looked up from the book he was reading on the couch.

“Peggy?”

“I’m fine!” she responded.

She sounded out of breath. Steve got up quickly and went to the kitchen. Peggy was trying to reach for a jar on a higher shelf. On the counter floor beside her there was a wooden spoon that had clearly been the noise he heard.

“I can get that,” he offered

“I can do it,” she insisted.

Knowing that this wasn’t an argument he would win, he painfully watched as Peggy struggled to reach the jar, to no avail.

Taking a breath, Peggy tried to balance herself on just her good leg to stretch up. The movement caused her to lose her crutch and subsequently, her balance.

Peggy let out a small yelp and Steve was by her side in an instant, catching her halfway to the ground. He lifted her up and set her on the counter. Peggy was looking down, refusing to meet his eyes. Steve frowned and tucked her hair behind her ear. She let out a shaky breath and he gently tilted her chin up to look at him. He felt his heart clench at how shiny her eyes were.

“Peggy?” he asked softly.

“I hate this,” she whispered, her voice shaky. “I hate what it’s done to me. I’m not allowed on the field, I don’t work nearly as efficiently, and I can’t even reach a bloody jar on the top shelf. I’m useless.”

“You are not useless,” he told her firmly.

“Yes I am, Steve. Look at me,” she snapped.

Instead of letting himself be affected by her tone, Steve reached out and stroked her cheek.

“You have to be kinder to yourself. This is only temporary,” he reminded her.

Peggy tried to look away, but Steve kept her head tilted toward him.

“You’ve done so much, even with an injured leg,” he continued. “You’ve helped plan many successful missions against HYDRA. I couldn’t have done that alone. You spend every day playing different games with Bucky to help him recover - and I know what a sore loser he is. Being completely honest, I still bet you could take Jack, crutches and all.

You, Peggy Carter, are by far the most incredible agent at the SSR, leg injury or not. Don’t you dare try to devalue yourself just because you’re not at your top physical form,” he told her firmly.

Peggy nodded slowly. He knew she wasn’t completely on board, but he could see that she was trying.

“You know what I hate the most?” she whispered.

“What?” he asked.

“That I can’t dance with you. I know of all things it’s silly, but I miss it terribly.”

Steve felt his heart drop. He knew how much Peggy loved dancing, but he had never stopped to think how much it was affecting her not to be able to on top of everything else.

“Wait here,” he told her.

He left so quickly that he missed Peggy raising her eyebrows as if to ask him where she could possibly be going while she was in this state.

Steve looked through their records until he found the perfect one. He set it on the record player and started it. When the music began, he made his way back to Peggy, who was looking at him curiously. Steve settled himself between Peggy’s legs, and he pulled her to the edge of the counter and wrapped her legs around his waist. He then picked her up and held her to him. She looped her arms around his neck as he walked them to the living room. He began to sway them slowly to the music, and Peggy leaned her forehead against his.

“You know, this isn’t technically dancing,” she told him, though her voice was soft and she was smiling gently.

“Sure it is. There’s music, I’m holding you close. We’re dancing,” he told her.

“I love you,” she said, her voice breaking slightly.

“I love you,” he told her. 

He didn’t stop swaying until they were ready to go to bed.

 

* * *

 

**1AMAugust 29th, 1949 - SSR Bullpen**

Peggy had to work the night shift without Steve this time. She normally didn’t like the night shift in the first place, but this time she also wasn’t looking forward to how it would affect her part in the routine they had so carefully built around Barnes. Though Steve told her it would be alright if she missed a day and used it to rest, she wouldn’t dare risk ruining Barnes’ progress or delay their current mission against HYDRA just because she was a little tired. During the war she had run on even less sleep. This was nothing.

She took a look at her desk and sighed. She had let it get overrun by files and scrap papers with notes to herself. It was quite a testament to how she currently felt. The last seven weeks had been more than productive, but she hadn’t spent more than five minutes at her desk between strategizing against HYDRA, working with Barnes on his recovery, and both her and Steve doing their best to care for themselves and their relationship.

She couldn’t help but smile thinking about how Steve was now making a point of carrying her every night just so they could dance. It was something so small, but it meant the world to her. She had mentioned what was upsetting her, and without prompting or even the slightest bit of hesitation, he did what was in his power to fix it.

Before him, she never wanted anyone to even try and take care of her. She didn’t like it when Fred had, though she had been complacent for the sake of playing the perfect docile girlfriend and fiancée. Daniel had been better in how he treated her, but she still never felt quite as comfortable letting him do things for her. She found herself reiterating every now and again that though they were together and they loved each other, she was perfectly capable of looking out for herself. Steve was teaching her that she deserved to allow someone to take care of her every now and again.

Looking around, she could see Agent Cheung reading a novel, Agent Peters asleep, and Agent Wilson filling out a crossword. The night was seemed to be promising to be a slow and boring one.

No time to clean like the present.

Taking her time - considering that she currently had a lot of it on her hands - she meticulously went through each file and paper, sorting each one and throwing out was was no longer needed. Once she had finished with everything on top of her desk, she started on what was in her drawers.

She pulled out her tact gear bag from the biggest one, and began to rummage through it. Her finger slid along a thick piece of paper and she hissed, putting it to her mouth to stop the blood dripping from it. Frowning, she pulled out what had caused the paper cut.

The file she had taken from the HYDRA base in Russia.

She hadn’t looked at its contents in weeks.

Peggy opened the file. 

It was curious, in almost all respects. The file was Leviathan, but found in the HYDRA base. The information present was eerily similar to what she knew about the women that were raised in the Red Room Academy - with one defection. 

The subject was male.

He was part of a training program that had been spanning for years. There was no indication as to why he in particular was chosen, but it seems as though he was one of the first - if not the first and only one - before they decided to only train young women.

The file was unclear if he had been active since the end of the war, and so Peggy had decided to wait until she could find more information before bringing it to Jack. Dealing with HYDRA and helping Barnes had been top priority for the SSR, and she knew that if it came down to it, she was used to conducting private investigations on the side. With the whirlwind of everything, however, she had set it on the back burner until she had all but forgotten its existence.

She flipped through the pages carefully. The sweat from having it pressed against her body during their battle in Russia had damaged the integrity of the papers. Peggy went to turn a page and winced as a particularly hard edge made contact with her paper cut. 

Bringing the paper directly under the light of the lamp of her desk, she noticed that the bottom right corner was more opaque than the rest of the page. She pulled the page out and inspected the corner further, realizing that they were actually two pages stuck together with a small card in-between them. Using her fingernail, she gently pried them apart. The card fell out and she set the papers aside to pick it up. 

The material wasn’t that of a business card. It was a photograph. She turned it over to take a look at the image.

Peggy’s heart stopped. Her eyes blinked slowly, taking each detail of the face before her. 

It couldn’t be possible.

She hardly took notice as a few tears began to roll down her face. Shaking her head slightly, she brought her hand to her mouth to choke back a sob that was threatening to escape. What she was looking at was impossible. But Peggy Carter would know that face anywhere.

It was her brother, Michael.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun duuuuuuuun.
> 
> Back as I was writing the first chapter of this fic, I read this youtube comment saying how the producers said that if Agent Carter had gotten a third season, it would be discovered that Michael was actually alive and working with the villains who shot Jack (or something like that). I have no idea if it's true or not, but I loved the idea so much that this little cliffhanger has been in the works since the beginning.
> 
> Title of the chapter taken from the song "I Am Damaged" from Heathers: The Musical
> 
> My eternal love to my pal and beta: Darcy


	10. All I've Ever Known

**June 1st, 1940 - Hampstead, England**

_Peggy walked down the staircase, her stomach churning when she saw Michael at the doorway looking at the family photos their parents had hanging on the wall. He had yet to notice her presence. Things had been shaky between them - at best - the last two days since their fight at her engagement party, but he was shipping off this morning. Though she was still furious at him, she refused to let things stay sour between them._

_“I wish you could stay longer,” Peggy said quietly as she approached behind him._

_He turned to look at his sister with a soft smile._

_“Me too, it’s nice being home,” he admitted. “But there are lives to save and Nazis to fight.”_

_“A great adventure awaits,” she agreed._

_She saw her brother hesitate - perhaps he picked up on a tinge of wistfulness in her tone - and she dreaded to hear the next words out of his mouth._

_“It’s not too late for you to have your own adventure,” he told her._

_“Michael, I don’t want an adventure. I want to marry Fred,” she insisted._

_“You think you want that because everyone has told you it’s what you want,” he argued._

_“I just know if you got to know him better-”_

_“It wouldn’t change my mind, Peggy,” he told her firmly._

_Peggy went to protest when Michael put a hand on her shoulder._

_“Please, let’s not fight about it anymore,” he said before taking a resigned breath. “If you want to marry him, then you’ll marry him… and I promise I won’t say another word.”_

_“I’m going to marry him,” Peggy informed him firmly._

_“Then that’s that,” he said sadly._

_They were interrupted by the arrival of their parents, who both took turns embracing their son and wishing him health and his safe return._

_When they finally released him, he turned back to Peggy and hugged her tightly._

_“I love you so much. Just remember that you, Peggy Carter, are going to change the world.”_

_Without leaving room for her to reply, he grabbed his bags and left to the awaiting taxi._

_Two months later, her brother was dead._

 

* * *

 

**September 5th, 1949 - Peggy Carter and Steve Rogers’ Apartment, Brooklyn, NY**

“Peggy? Peggy!”

Peggy gasped as she shot straight up, breathing heavily. She looked around frantically, and upon realizing that she was in her room, she screwed her eyes shut, fruitlessly trying to keep her tears at bay.

She flinched as she felt a hand on her shoulder, but otherwise didn’t respond.

“Talk to me, Peggy,” Steve whispered.

She merely shook her head in response, letting out a small sob. Steve wrapped an arm around her. He kissed her head gently as she cried into his shoulder.

“Peg… They’ve been getting worse,” he said softly after her body had stopped shaking. “That’s the second one tonight.”

“I’m well aware it’s the second tonight, Steve. It’s fine,” she attempted to dismiss him.

“Clearly it’s not. Something’s up.”

“It’s nothing.”

“But Peggy-”

“Just drop it, will you?” she snapped at him.

She felt him tense around her and she sighed, pulling back to look at him.

“I’m sorry, that was mean. I shouldn’t have snapped,” she said quietly, tilting his head toward her. “And I’m sorry for waking you up. Again.”

“You might feel better if you talked about it,” Steve offered, leaning their foreheads together.

She shook her head slightly and kissed him gingerly.

Peggy hadn’t told him about what she had found in the file, which now lived locked in her desk drawer.

Where would she even begin? Her brother who was supposed to be dead was apparently alive, or at least he had been until 1945. She couldn’t guarantee that he still was as nothing in the file indicated as such. Even if he was still alive, he would be working with Leviathan. That would mean he was being tortured and brainwashed like Barnes, or he was working with them willingly. 

She didn’t know which was worse.

If Michael wasn’t alive, then he was exactly how she thought he’d been the last nine years. 

Dead - but with more lost time and opportunity between them.

At this point she couldn’t even remember if she had ever told Steve that she had a brother.

Not only that, but Steve had so much to deal with concerning Barnes. Howard still hadn’t found a way to safely remove his metal arm, even though each time they asked for an update he always promised he was close. Barnes was getting frustrated, and Steve was feeling helpless and overworked as he spent every moment either at his side or plotting with her against HYDRA. She couldn’t add this onto his plate. At least, not until she knew whether or not her brother was actually still alive and active with Leviathan.

“You can tell me,” he whispered assuringly when she pulled away.

“They’re just the usual nightmares,” she lied quietly. “I suppose it’s just been a bad week.”

Steve pulled back a bit to look at her, and she was grateful for the darkness that cloaked her face, even with his enhanced vision. 

“Hold me?” she asked him quietly.

Though she knew he wasn’t happy that she had ended their discussion, Steve still pulled her closer and held her tightly to him, laying them both back onto the bed. She buried her face in his chest and carefully tangled her legs with his. She hated lying to him, it made her feel sick, but until she had a solid answer it was better that she handled it alone.

If her damn subconscious didn’t give her away first.

 

* * *

 

**September 15th, 1949 - SSR File Room**

Peggy’s hands were shaking slightly as she fiddled with the envelope she was holding. She had used all her spare time into looking for her brother, and was in possession of the results of her research. She had dug up and re-submitted every single piece of DNA evidence found at every Leviathan and HYDRA-related mission they had conducted in the last three years and had widened the search to include a cross-reference of deceased soldiers of the British Armed Forces dating back ten years.

After a few more moments of hesitation, she took a breath and clumsily opened the envelope, pulling out the thick stack of papers.

She combed through result after result of DNA tests, dismissing each one in turn. Her hands suddenly froze and she slowly reread the current page she was holding, her eyes dwelling on each word.

 

**Item Submitted: Hair**

**Date Submitted: May 4th, 1949**

**Location DNA Obtained From: Martin’s Carts Warehouse, Abandoned. Queens, NY**

**Confirmed Match: Michael Harrison Carter, British Armed Forces.**

 

Peggy let out a gasp. That was the first raid her team conducted after Genevieve’s capture. Michael was at the warehouse just minutes before they had entered. 

Her brother was still alive, and had been just within her reach.

Peggy slumped back against the wall and let her tears fall freely. She maneuvered her crutches out from underneath her armpits and slowly slid down until she was sitting, setting her crutches and the papers aside before burying her face in her hands. 

How had she managed to fail him again?

Her sobs slowly subsided and she took a shaky breath. She reached for the paper holding the evidence to her brother’s resurrection and read it again. She remembered bagging the strand of hair and handing it off to be catalogued as evidence. Nothing had come of it then - its owner was one of their own allies who had been deceased since nearly ten years prior, and therefore wasn’t considered in the SSR’s initial search. Peggy slowly furrowed her eyebrows as she recalled something else from that same day - a taunting voice that she hadn’t heard in months.

_After all, you’re practically family already._

Genevieve had known all along.

Peggy’s hands began to shake in anger.

She forcefully wiped her tears and looked at her watch.

12:50PM

If she left immediately, she would be back with time to spare before chess.

 

* * *

 

**Lilith’s Salon, Chelsea, NY**

Objectively, it wasn’t anywhere near her best idea.

Peggy had ditched her crutches and traded them for a red wig, glasses, and a lab coat. Her leg wasn’t fully healed, but her dark blue work pants covered the cast, and if she walked carefully enough, she was able to hide her injury. Though it wasn’t ideal, she knew the guards wouldn’t let her in if she was on crutches, and more personally, she refused to let Genevieve see any sign of weakness.

As she was led from the upstairs salon down to the prison, she felt surprisingly calm. If anything, her rage and pain had settled underneath the surface. She had a mission, and she wasn't going to let her anger get in the way. Not when Michael’s life was on the line.

“Adams, Dr. Taylor is here. She’s replacing Dr. Connors today,” the guard said after opening the door to the windowless room.

Peggy heard a bored sigh come out of Genevieve’s mouth.

“Whatever you say, Johnnie boy,” she answered as he set a chair across from her bed.

Peggy entered the room, and she saw Genevieve’s eyes fill with recognition. The corners of her mouth slowly turned up into a small smile.

“Dr. Taylor, what an honour to meet you,” she greeted. 

Peggy looked at her with an unreadable expression.

“You can leave us,” Peggy told the guard with an American accent, her eyes remaining trained on Genevieve.

“You sure?”

“Yes. It helps me gain trust,” she answered.

“Doctor, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he attempted to dissuade her.

“I can handle her if need be,” Peggy assured him.

The guard looked at her dubiously but left the room after a moment’s hesitation. When the door had closed, Peggy carefully made her way over to the chair, attempting to disguise her limp.

“You’re hurt,” Genevieve noted out loud.

_So much for that._

“It’s nothing too terrible. Hazards of the job,” she said dismissively in her natural dialect.

Genevieve looked at her curiously.

“I missed you, Peggy. I thought you had left me for dead,” she told her.

“Well you aren’t very far off from that, I’m afraid,” Peggy replied.

The birthmark at the corner of Genevieve’s mouth twitched.

“Then to what do I owe the pleasure?”

“We haven’t heard anything from Dottie in months,” she mentioned casually.

“And you think I have?” Genevieve practically sneered at her.

“I know you haven’t either. She’s forgotten about you,” Peggy told her plainly.

“You’re trying to get under my skin,” Genevieve noted.

“I’m only telling you the truth. I expected nothing from Leviathan, but I honestly thought Dottie would have tried to rescue you by now. Here I thought you considered her your sister. Clearly the feeling isn’t mutual,” she shrugged.

“You overestimate the familial bond,” Genevieve chided her.

“You underestimate it,” Peggy countered.

“Why don’t you cut to the chase and tell me what you need from me?” Genevieve asked sweetly.

Peggy stared at her evenly.

“I’m conducting an investigation, and you have information that I require,” Peggy said honestly. “In return, I can have your sentence altered,” she offered.

Genevieve’s mouth slowly curled into a mischievous smile.

“You’re not authorized to do so, if that wig is any indication,” Genevieve informed her. “At least, I hope it’s a wig. Truthfully I liked you better as a brunette.”

“This mission requires the upmost discretion. I have to be careful,” Peggy reasoned.

“Why? Planning on digging up some skeletons?” Genevieve scoffed.

“Something like that,” Peggy said grimly.

Genevieve noticed the slight shift in Peggy’s tone and stared at her curiously until her eyes widened slightly.

“You know,” Genevieve realized out loud, looking far too pleased for Peggy’s taste.

She tensed, but maintained a level facial expression. 

“It took you long enough,” Genevieve berated her.

“Where is he?” Peggy asked.

“Why, looking for a family reunion? I hear those are so lousy, Peggy. You’re really not missing out.”

“Tell me where he is,” she demanded without raising her voice.

“You really think that I’d tell you that easily?”

“How long have you known?” Peggy asked, knowing she had to change tactics.

Genevieve looked at her for a moment. Her eyes held a glint to them that made Peggy uneasy.

“We had known him from the Academy as of late 1940. He would always come to teach us English. We didn’t know he was your brother until 1947, after Dottie escaped you in California.”

“How did you find out?”

“Let’s call it a series of unfortunate events. For him,” Genevieve clarified.

She felt her heart sink.

“What has Leviathan done to him?” she asked, hardly able to contain her growing anger.

“Nothing he didn’t consent to,” Genevieve shrugged.

Peggy’s blood ran cold.

“You’re lying,” Peggy said slowly.

“You know I’m not,” she challenged her, leaning forward.

“Michael would _never_ -”

“And yet he did,” Genevieve snapped. 

Peggy shook her head in disbelief, her mouth slightly parted. She was at a loss for words.

“Oh poor Peggy, that’s the thing you’ve never been able to understand. You’ve gotten so used to losing everyone around you that you haven’t noticed how hard and cold it’s made you. But gentle, caring people like _our_ Michael? They all have a breaking point.”

Peggy stood abruptly, not caring how the action caused her to wince in pain. She stared Genevieve dead in the eye as she spoke, causing the Russian to lean back slightly. She was grateful that her voice came out as steady and low as she intended.

“You’re wrong. He’s a good man who’s been tortured and used by Leviathan, and I’m going to save him. And after I do, I will find every single member of your _precious_ Leviathan, and personally ensure that all of them, yourself included, suffer a fate far worse than death,” she bit out.

Peggy then angrily limped to the door and banged her fist on it until the guard let her out.

As she headed back to the SSR, she swore to herself that she wouldn’t rest until she discovered her brother’s location and rescued him.

It was more than a month later when her tireless determination paid off.

 

* * *

 

**October 20th, 1949 - SSR Safe House**

Steve was on edge as he looked at the clock in the dining area for the twentieth time in the last two minutes. 

Bucky was scheduled to (finally) have his surgery to have the metal arm removed by Howard. It was going to be performed later that morning in one of Howard’s personal estates that came equipped with a medical lab containing much more extensive resources than the one in the SSR Safe House. The estate’s more isolated location also made it favourable to Jack, who feared that something might trigger Barnes and cause him to go on a rampage - though he hadn’t said it out loud. 

When Steve had asked Howard why he had felt the need to have his own fully equipped miniature hospital at his disposal, he simply replied:

“I figured it was best to be prepared in case anyone ever needed it.”

Steve knew that by ‘anyone’, he meant Peggy. He hadn’t needed to thank him to know that Howard understood how much it meant to him.

He felt a gentle hand on his knee, causing it to stop shaking. He’d been unaware that he’d been doing it, or that Peggy had arrived and sat down beside him. She gave him a soft, reassuring smile and quickly kissed his cheek. Steve sighed and felt himself relax instantly, even if only slightly.

“The surgery hasn’t even started and you’re already a mess,” Peggy noted, slowly removing her hand from his knee.

“I know,” he admitted. “It’s just - it’s a big day for him.”

He watched as Peggy’s smile grew slowly. Though her leg had healed perfectly by now, he couldn’t help but notice that the circles under her eyes had seemingly gotten darker over the last month.

“He’ll be alright. Howard knows what he’s doing, and we’ll both be there for him,” she assured him.

Steve was stopped from answering by Bucky, Howard, and Jarvis entering the area. Both he and Peggy stood to greet them as Jack and a rather large group of SSR Agents entered from the other side of the dining hall.

“Nothing like early morning surgery to wake you up,” Howard said, surprisingly chipper.

Steve saw Peggy raise her eyebrow at Howard as if to admonish him and he held back a smile.

Jack addressed the group as they all gathered.

“Alright, we have Barnes and Stark riding in a car with a few agents, with the other few medical staff involved dispersed between the other cars with everyone else. Once we’re there, we’ll have guards up at every entrance and in the surgery room. Priority is that Barnes and Stark are protected and the surgery is completed. Understood?”

Everyone nodded and answered in the affirmative.

“Now, there’s been a slight change of plans. Carter,” he said, looking at Steve. “You’re staying here with me.”

Steve tensed.

“Why can’t I go with Barnes?” he asked, keeping his voice more steady than he felt.

“Something came up and I need you to deal with it,” Jack responded.

“I can stay,” Peggy offered. “He has been essential to Barnes’ recovery and he should be there.”

“This is non-negotiable, Carter,” he told Peggy firmly. 

She went to speak again but he gave her a stern look. Peggy’s mouth formed a thin line, though she looked like she was ready to give Jack a piece of her mind. Steve knew that she was on thin ice from how much she had been managing things so that he could have as much exposure to Bucky as possible. Though Peggy hadn’t told him everything, he knew that he wouldn’t have been able to spend nearly half as much time with Bucky as he had if she hadn’t been silently pulling strings with Jack.

Apparently this, however, was where Jack drew the line.

“Everyone else move out. I want updates as things happen,” he ordered.

Bucky hesitated for a moment, looking at Steve uncertainly. Steve gave him a reassuring smile and nodded at him, a silent promise that he was going to be okay. Bucky gave him the slightest nod before allowing himself to be escorted out beside Howard.

He felt a hand on his arm and he looked down at Peggy, who was looking at him with a determined expression, though he picked up on the slight sadness behind her eyes.

“I’ll take care of him,” she promised him quietly before taking off and placing herself beside Howard and Bucky.

With Jack giving him a hard look from where he stood beside him, Steve could only watch them leave.

 

* * *

 

Getting Barnes to Stark’s estate and private hospital had been seamless enough. Getting him sedated enough for Howard to begin the procedure, however, was turning out to be a whole ordeal. First Howard had tried to inject him, but Barnes’s metal arm had lashed out at him, nearly knocking the needle out of his hand.

“I need that hand if you want that arm off,” Howard had told him after the third time Barnes had nearly broken his hand in an unintentional reaction.

“I know. I can’t help it,” Barnes had replied through gritted teeth, clearly frustrated with himself.

Howard muttered something that no one else could quite decipher. He took a breath, steeling himself for a fourth attempt when Nurse Melanie raised her hand. He raised an eyebrow at her but nodded slightly when he saw the determined expression in her blue eyes.

“What’s your favourite memory from your childhood?” she asked Barnes softly.

Barnes looked extremely dubious, but he sighed.

“Uh…I don’t know,” he answered.

“It’s alright, there’s no pressure here. Just any memory that made you happy. It can even be a place,” she offered, beginning to gently stroke his hair.

“Rockaway Beach,” he said, visibly relaxing.

“What about Rockaway Beach?” she prompted.

“Steve and I - we used to - we liked it. We went there a lot,” he said.

“Why did you like going to Rockaway Beach?”

Peggy watched curiously as Nurse Melanie continued stroking his hair as he began to tell her everything he could remember about Rockaway Beach and his childhood with Steve. After a few minutes, she watched as Melanie extended her arm toward Howard, silently asking him for the sedative. He gave it to her wordlessly, and they all watched as she injected him with it. Barnes began to panic and struggle against it, but Melanie kept talking to him soothingly and stroking his hair until the sedative took its desired effect.

The room remained silent. Peggy knew they were all as in awe as she was that Melanie had managed to relax Barnes enough to be able to accept the injection with little difficulty.

Melanie looked up and saw that everyone was staring at her. She rolled her eyes.

“What? It’s not like Mr. Stark’s method was getting us anywhere. Now can we all just do our jobs?” she quipped.

Peggy found herself smiling. She would have to get to know Melanie better after this.

 

* * *

 

Barnes had been in surgery for three hours when Peggy thought she heard a click just outside the room. She froze from her place by Barnes’ operating table, turning to the door. The room was dead silent save for the sound of Howard separating Barnes’ metal arm from the skin, muscle and bone in his shoulder piece by piece. She made eye contact with the two other agents in the room. She nodded at them and they pulled out their guns, wordlessly walking to the door as she drew hers from her thigh holster.

Another click.

Peggy had only taken a single step toward the door when the explosion went off.

 

* * *

 

Steve had never been good at waiting.

Having to wait while Bucky was in surgery across town was torture.

He had seen the look in Bucky’s eyes. He was afraid. He had every right to be.

And Steve was stuck here running last minute strategy options with Jack. He knew it was important work - the Commandos needed his help on an impromptu side mission that they were conducting to aid their next HYDRA infiltration. 

It didn’t make him feel any less guilty about not being by his brother’s side.

They had been in the middle of discussing a backup plan when there was a knock on the door to Jack’s office.

“It’s open,” Jack called out.

The door opened and revealed Colonel (soon to be Director) Phillips and Dum Dum Dugan. Steve immediately straightened up out of habit. He nodded in greeting to both of them after the door was closed behind them. Peggy had introduced him to Colonel Phillips as Grant Carter not long ago when he had come down to the SSR to discuss its absorption into SHIELD with her and Jack. Like most, Phillips has been amused at their shared last name, which offered him a point of bonding with the man who used to be his superior officer. 

“Chief Thompson, sorry to turn up out of the blue,” Phillips began. “I know Barnes is having his surgery today. Dugan and I were here on business, so we thought we’d stop by and see if there was any update.”

“Not a problem at all,” Jack replied, though Steve had gotten to know Jack well enough to be able to tell when he was on edge. “Barnes went into surgery about three hours ago. Last update we got is that Stark is somewhere between a third of the way and halfway to getting the whole thing removed.”

“That’s some marathon they’re running,” Dugan mentioned grimly.

“Stark can handle it,” Phillips commented.

The phone rang and Jack put a finger up to excuse himself.

“This is Thompson.”

Jack almost immediately sat up straighter and his eyebrows furrowed in concern.

The three other men in the room looked at him curiously. 

“Stark slow down, what do you mean an explosion?” 

Steve’s heart stopped. 

“Where’s Barnes? Is he okay?”

There was a moment of tense silence as they all waited for an answer.

_Please let them be okay_ , Steve silently prayed.

“Stark?” Jack tried. “Stark!”

After another half-second, Jack swore and hung up, looking up at them.

“Stark’s facility has been compromised,” he informed them.

“HYDRA,” Dugan said.

“Has to be,” Phillips responded.

“Barnes is there,” Jack said.

“So is Peggy,” Steve added, speaking for the first time since Phillips’ and Dugan’s appearance.

 

* * *

 

Steve drove the car with Phillips riding shotgun, Dugan and Jack in the back. His knuckles were clenched around the steering wheel as he speeded through the city. He was so focused on getting to Bucky and Peggy that he didn’t notice Phillips staring at him with curiosity.

“You shouldn’t worry so much. Carter can handle herself,” he told him.

“I know she can,” Steve said tersely. “But we all know what HYDRA is capable of. If they get Bucky back, or if they get her-”

Steve stopped himself abruptly.

He wouldn’t know what he would do if he lost them.

He put more pressure on the gas pedal.

 

* * *

 

Peggy groaned as she sat up slowly. Her gun was still clenched tightly in her hand. As her head slowly stopped spinning, her eyes focused on the four men in all black approaching Barnes’ operating table, and a fifth standing over someone she couldn’t see, gun pointed at the ground

She raised her gun and fired. 

She managed to hit him and two of the ones advancing toward Barnes before they turned their attention to her. She fired another bullet that hit a fourth one in the shoulder. The fifth fired at her and she barely managed to dive out of the way in time.

As she recovered, Jarvis hit the man with a metal tray over the head and kicked the one she whose shoulder she had injured, effectively knocking them both out. Peggy gave him a small smile. If Jarvis had one thing perfected, it was his timing. She shakily stood and looked around, noticing painfully that the explosion had taken out the guards at the door, as well as the other two who had been close when it went off. Melanie was standing up slowly. Other than her braided golden hair now being askew, she looked to be relatively untouched. The other three nurses that were present, however, had gotten hit harder and were all still on the ground in varying states of consciousness. Howard was laying on the ground, holding a phone handset. Peggy ran over to him, gently shaking him awake.

He groaned and opened his eyes.

“Hey, Peg,” he murmured.

“Howard, are you alright?” she asked.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m great,” he muttered as he sat up.

Peggy looked at the phone handset in his hand inquisitively. 

“Managed to call the SSR before they kicked me in the head. They should be on their way.”

The sound of footsteps caused Peggy to stand again. By the sheer volume of them, she knew there were too many for her to be able to take out with her gun alone. She noticed the massive rolling cabinet of medical supplies to her right and ran toward it. With great difficulty, she began pushing it toward the gaping hole where the door used to be. Clueing in on her plan, Jarvis rushed to her side. Together they managed to gather enough momentum to drive it into more or less a dozen men, effectively knocking them over before they could dive out of the way. Peggy then used her gun to shoot three more men after both her and Jarvis released the cabinet.

Her gun made an empty _click_ sound and Peggy’s heart jumped into her throat. There were at least six more agents sprinting toward her. 

No time to reload. 

She debated whipping her gun at them before she was tackled to the ground and out of the way of the incoming men as they opened fire.

Peggy groaned at the force of the impact her body made on the ground - not for the first time in the last few minutes. 

“Bloody hell, Mr. Jarvis,” she complained.

Reaching out to try to grab onto something, her hand made contact with a metal arm, and she gasped.

It was Barnes.

“Stay down,” he growled.

In an instant he was off of her and bounding in the direction of their attackers. Peggy slowly sat up and watched in awe and slight fear as he used the half attached arm to efficiently take out each and every one of the remaining men. At the end of it all, he breathed heavily and stared at the damage, seemingly lost to the world.

Peggy clumsily stood up, ignoring her body’s protests.

“Barnes?” she called out tentatively.

He turned to look at her. She was taken aback by the amount of fear he had in his eyes.

“It’s alright,” she told him gently, raising her hands in the air as she slowly began to approach him. “We’re all alright. You’re alright.”

He took a step toward her and stumbled, barely catching himself before he fell. Peggy ran to him and put his nonmetal arm around her shoulders and wrapped an arm around his waist. She placed her other hand on his chest to keep him steady. Without a word, he let her help him back to the operating table. His body began trembling and Peggy found it increasingly difficult to hold him upright, nearly falling as she reached the table. Melanie and Jarvis helped her lay him down carefully. Peggy couldn’t help but notice that his shaking was worsening.

“We have to get him down now or he’ll go into shock,” Howard stated as he assessed Barnes’ condition.

Not wasting any time, Melanie quickly grabbed a spare anesthetic syringe, injecting it into his neck as she whispered to him. Barnes’ arm flung itself out on instinct and Melanie narrowly dodged it. After a few moments, his body was still.

The four of them took a moment to allow their breathing to settle.

“Howard, we need to finish the operation. Can you do it?” Peggy asked him.

He nodded, then quickly looked around at the half destroyed room.

“Yeah. Okay. Melanie, sanitize the tools. Jarvis, prep more of the anesthesia in case he wakes up again, Peggy-”

A clatter from down the hallway startled all of them.

“There’s more of them,” Melanie whispered in a panicked tone.

Quickly assessing the room, Peggy knelt down and grabbed a machine gun from one of the dead assailants.

“Continue with the surgery, I’ll deal with them,” she told them.

“And what the hell are you going to do if there’s twenty of them?” Howard asked her.

“I suspect I’ll have to take all 20 of them out and then report back,” she quipped.

“Miss Carter, you cannot possibly-”

“Considering that I am seemingly the only SSR Agent left standing, I can and I will. The priority is that Barnes receives his surgery, and you will all work together to complete that mission. Is that understood?”

“Yes, ma’am,” they all answered in unison, though she picked up on their hesitation.

Peggy nodded at them and then took off down the hall as quietly as she could. She heard the sound of faint footsteps and she froze for only an instant before ducking into another hallway, her back pressed up against the wall.

Judging by the approaching noise, she deduced that there were six of them, maybe seven. If she shot accurately and quickly, she could take them all down.

She couldn’t let herself think about what would happen if she wasn’t able to.

The footsteps were now too close. 

_Do or die, Carter._

Peggy took a breath and stepped out into plain sight, machine gun aimed right at the person in front of her.

Between the eyes of the man she loved most in the world. 

She immediately lowered the gun to her side and let out an audible sigh of relief.

“ _Peggy,_ thank God,” Steve said, also lowering his gun and walking toward her as she began to reply.

“I’m glad you’re here. Barnes is safe but-”

The next words out of her mouth were stifled by Steve pressing his lips against hers at the same time that his hand that wasn’t carrying the gun pulled her to him by her waist. It was only half a moment before she reciprocated, bringing her free hand up to cup his cheek. When he pulled away, they were both slightly out of breath. 

Steve turned his head slightly and gently kissed Peggy’s palm. Her heart constricted at the tender nature of the action. She turned his head back to her so that their foreheads were now touching.

“I was so worried,” he whispered.

“I’m alright, my darling,” she assured him quietly, gently nuzzling her nose against his.

Unbeknownst to them, among the dumbfounded group of men that were staring at them blatantly, Colonel Phillips and Dum Dum Dugan came to the same realization. There was no other explanation as to why the sight before them was nearly identical to one they both witnessed five years earlier.

 

* * *

 

**August 10th, 1944 - Allied Camp, France**

_When the Howling Commandos returned from their latest mission, they immediately knew something was wrong._

_The sky above the camp was filled with smoke, and there were nurses rushing around everywhere tending to soldiers and carting off bodies on stretchers._

_They all rushed in, looking around. Steve froze when he spotted the HYDRA symbol on the jacket of one of the dead bodies that had yet to be taken away._

_Where was Peggy?_

_Steve’s heart rate and breathing increased as he ran around the camp looking for her._

_What if she was hurt?_

_What if they had taken her?_

_His mind refused to even consider the alternative option._

_He was so focused on finding her that he almost ran into Colonel Phillips head on, just barely stopping himself in time._

_“Captain,” Phillips greeted tiredly._

_“Colonel, what the hell happened?” he asked, professionalism be damned._

_“They took us by surprise. It was a hell of a fight but we managed to get the upper hand. Lost a few men,” he explained._

_“Where’s Agent Carter?” he asked._

_Phillips gave him an unreadable look before he nodded toward a nearby tent._

_Steve immediately sprinted off toward it._

_“Really, this is quite unnecessary, the bullet only grazed me. There are other men who actually do require medical attention.”_

_The familiar voice was enough to make Steve’s heart swell. He entered the tent and saw that Peggy was sitting on a high table, frowning as a nurse wrapped her bicep._

_“Peggy, thank God,” he said out loud, catching her attention._

_Her eyes softened when they met his._

_“Captain Rogers, I’m glad you’re here. Though you’re quite late I’m afraid. We must do something about your punctuality,” she teased him in greeting as the nurse finished wrapping her arm and exited the tent._

_Steve walked toward her without responding and wrapped his arms around her. Peggy made a small noise of surprise, but slowly reached up to reciprocate. After a few moments, he finally felt himself begin to relax._

_He slowly pulled away, and Peggy raised her uninjured arm to tentatively cup his cheek with her hand. In a movement that surprised both of them, he turned his head slightly and kissed her palm gently._

_Peggy’s mouth dropped open slightly and Steve realized his mistake. He went to completely step out of her reach but she kept him where he was, her hand guiding him to lean his forehead against hers._

_“I’m sorry - I just… I was worried,” he told her quietly._

_“It’s alright. I’m alright, Steve,” she replied, her tone matching his._

_From the doorway of the tent, Colonel Phillips nodded his head to Bucky and Dugan, silently telling them to give the Captain and the Agent their privacy._

 

* * *

 

**Present Day**

“I’m alright,” Peggy repeated to him.

Steve nodded, and slowly released her. In that moment, Peggy remembered that they weren’t alone. She stepped back and cleared her throat. As she turned to face the other men, she realized that both Colonel Phillips and Dum Dum Dugan were in attendance, along with Thompson, Ramirez, Davis, and Anderson.

If Peggy wasn’t blushing before, she knew by now she must be positively scarlet. Her only consolation was that her voice never faltered as she addressed them.

“Despite everything, Barnes’ surgery is still happening, with only minor complications. He’ll be alright. Our attackers may still be kicking around, and we seemingly have no other agents left alive other than ourselves.

Carter, Dugan, guard the surgery. Down the hallway, take a right, it’ll be the hole where the door and wall used to be. The rest of us should investigate for any lingering threats.”

There was a moment of silence as everyone kept looking between her and Steve.

“Well don’t just stand around, do as Carter says,” Colonel Phillips finally ordered.

Dugan and Steve began walking off in the direction that Peggy had told them - although the latter did so after a moment of hesitation.

She saw Jack go to speak when she interrupted him.

“One word about this, and Barnes won’t be the only one requiring surgery today,” she threatened him.

Jack made a motion as if he was zipping his mouth shut, though he kept the obnoxious smirk on his face.

 

* * *

 

Steve walked out of the operating room with Dugan, and let his body relax slightly.

Bucky was going into his eighth hour of surgery, and he and Dugan had been relieved fro guarding Howard and Bucky by Ramirez and Davis. Steve had wanted to stay, but Jack had firmly ordered them all on a rotation to ensure that everyone was in proper form should they need to defend themselves against another HYDRA attack. Bucky was in too fragile of a state to transport, and they couldn’t be certain that they wouldn’t return.

They found a random empty hospital room with two beds and they walked in, each sitting on a bed. Steve had tried to find Peggy, who had left shortly before him at Jack’s request to speak with her, but had been unable to figure out where they had gone. He figured it was probably for the best - he had an inkling that they were currently discussing their reunion in the hallway. 

Though he didn’t like the idea of Peggy getting chewed out by Jack, he didn’t regret what he did. He knew what it was like to lose her, and understood that any day she could still be taken away from him due to the nature of their job. He’d be damned if he didn’t take advantage of every moment that he was gifted with her by his side. Steve had held himself back once, and had to wait nearly 80 years before he was allowed to have her the way he had always wanted.

He didn’t want to wait anymore.

Without warning, Phillips appeared at the doorway.

“Colonel Phillips,” Steve greeted him.

Phillips nodded at him and entered the room, closing the door.

“Glad to see you’re planning on getting some rest, Captain Rogers,” Phillips commented causally.

Steve tensed. He could feel their eyes analyzing him carefully.

“I don’t think I understand what you mean, Colonel,” Steve replied evenly.

“Tell us the truth,” Dugan told him. “Are you him? Are you Steve Rogers?”

Steve looked between the two of them. He could see the glimmer of hope in both their eyes and any doubts he had been holding onto left him. He nodded slowly.

“Holy shit,” Dugan said, a huge smile slowly forming on his face.

He crossed to Steve and gave him a tight hug, which he gladly reciprocated. When they parted he looked at Phillips, and he could have sworn that the man was misty-eyed.

“Good to have you back, Captain,” he said simply.

Steve smiled softly at him.

“What gave me away?” he asked.

“I had a strong feeling in Russia,” Dugan explained. “You’re the only person I know who fights like that. Though I gotta admit, your technique’s improved,” he joked.

“The key to it, though, was Carter,” Phillips said.

Steve furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

“Come on, Cap, you’ve never been adept at hiding how you feel for her, and you sure as hell haven’t started now,” Dugan said. “You’re the only person I know who has ever reacted like that at the thought of her being hurt.”

Steve let out a soft chuckle and rubbed the back of his neck with his hand, feeling only slightly embarrassed.

He was spared having to answer by Peggy entering the room.

“There you are, Grant. Jack would like a word with you. He’s in the main entrance area to the estate,” she informed him in an all too professional manner.

“The jig is up, Peggy,” Dugan told her.

She frowned and looked at him.

“I beg your pardon?”

“We know he’s Captain Rogers,” Phillips said.

Peggy paused for a moment and then looked to Steve. He nodded, smiling softly at her. Slowly, the corners of her mouth began to turn up.

“How did you figure it out?” she asked them.

“Apparently when it comes to you, I can be quite obvious,” Steve explained.

Peggy blushed slightly, but looked rather pleased.

“Well I could have told you that, my darling,” she teased him.

Steve grinned at her.

“And you let me suffer all those years?” he joked.

“I wouldn’t call kissing you before you boarded the Valkyrie letting you suffer,” she quipped. “Besides, anything else would have been positively unprofessional back then.”

“And now?” he asked, his eyes silently challenging her.

“Technically, it still is,” she informed him, crossing to where he was still seated on the bed. 

“However,” she continued, briefly glancing toward Phillips and Dugan before returning her attention to him. “I suppose it’s nothing they haven’t seen before,” she conceded, taking his face in her hands and kissing him deeply.

Steve took advantage of the opportunity and wrapped his arms tightly around her waist, relishing in the way her thumbs stroked his cheeks and her nose bumped against his.

She eventually pulled away, and Steve leaned his head back to look at her. Her signature red lipstick was now faded and had spread to the area surrounding her lips, which were curled up into a soft smile. She was giving him the same loving look that never failed to make his heart stutter.

“Jack will come looking for you if you don’t go to him,” she told him, though he could sense the disappointment in her voice.

“Spoilsport,” he teased her as she wiped her lipstick off his face with the sleeve of her shirt.

Steve dropped his arms from where they had been holding Peggy and stood up. He looked to the side and noticed that both Dugan and Phillips were still present and were watching them with Cheshire-like grins. Though he felt his face heat up, Peggy only rolled her eyes.

“You’re vultures, the lot of you,” she told them before turning to Steve. “Now go.”

“I’ll walk with you, Rogers. I have something I’d like to discuss,” Colonel Phillips said to him.

After he gave Peggy a chaste kiss, they left, leaving her alone in the room with Dugan.

“You know, I’m kinda mad you didn’t tell me about him when we were in Russia,” he said to her.

“It wasn’t my secret to tell,” Peggy told him. After a moment she added:

“Though I am very sorry. I know how hard losing him was.”

“You more than most,” Dugan said softly. “But he’s back now, and that’s what matters.”

“I’m inclined to agree,” she joked, causing Dugan to let out a small chuckle.

“I’m glad Phillips called me here when he did,” Dugan said.

Peggy hesitated briefly.

“About that… I’m also extremely glad you’re here. I have a favour to ask you,” she told him.

Dugan raised his eyebrow inquisitively at her.

“What kind of favour?”  


“The kind that requires you not telling a soul,” she informed him.

“Even Cap?”

“Even Steve,” she said firmly.

Dugan stared intensely at her for a few moments. It unsettled Peggy that she wasn’t able to read what his expression meant. She knew his loyalty lied with Steve just as much as it did with her, if not more so. But she also knew that she had to be the one to bring her brother in - for his own protection. This was the only way to do it without taking anyone away who needed to be with Barnes.

“What do you need?” he asked her.

Peggy let out a small breath she hadn’t realized that she’d been holding and smiled at him gratefully.

“What do you think of Italy this time of year?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you’re thinking that things are about to get real sticky real fast, you’d be correct. 
> 
> Also fun fact, my birthday is one of the dates in this chapter (because I can).
> 
> Chapter Title taken from the song "All I've Ever Known" from Hadestown
> 
> Last, but not least, much love to Darcy, my dear beta and pal


	11. Wait For Me

**October 22nd, 1949 - Peggy Carter and Steve Rogers’ Apartment, Brooklyn, NY**

“Penny for your thoughts?” Steve prompted Peggy, startling her out of her thoughts.

He had walked into their bedroom and noticed that she was staring into space with a small frown on her face. It was something that he had caught her doing more often the last few days.

She turned to look at him and gave him a small smile.

“It’s nothing darling, I’m just tired.”

Steve offered her his hand, which she accepted. He pulled her to him and half spun her to maneuver her so that her back was now pressed against his chest. She instinctively leaned back into him as he wrapped his arms around her.

“I just feel like in the last few weeks there have been moments when you’ve been… far away,” he said softly.

“I’m right here with you darling,” she assured him.

“You know what I mean,” he told her.

Peggy sighed.

“I’m sorry. I’ve just been so worried with… everything lately,” she admitted sadly.

Steve frowned and tightened his hold on her.

“Let me help,” he offered.

“You are helping, darling. Just by being here with me,” she told him softly.

“Peggy-”

“You mean so much to me,” she interrupted.

Steve thought he heard her voice tremble, and he felt his heart ache.

“You’re my best girl, Peggy. You always have been,” he told her, nuzzling his nose into her hair before continuing.

“But if there’s anything you need…”

Peggy shook her head.

“Everything’s alright, darling. I just need you with me.”

“You have me,” he promised her.

Peggy turned around in his arms and kissed him, effectively ending their discussion. Steve didn’t protest.

Maybe he was reading too much into it, but deep down, his gut was telling him there was more than she was letting on.

 

* * *

 

**October 23rd, 1949 - A hallway, SSR Safe House**

“You gonna tell me what’s bugging you?” Bucky asked Steve as they walked from the medical room to the dining area.

“Nothing,” he replied casually.

“I know my brain is all kinds of dysfunctional right now, but I can still tell when something’s bothering you,” Bucky told him.

Steve sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.

“I’m sure I’m just looking too much into it…” he began.

“But?” Bucky prompted when he didn’t continue.

“Have you noticed anything… out of the ordinary with Peggy lately?”

Bucky snorted.

“Nothing about Carter is normal. I thought that was why you liked her,” Bucky commented.

Steve rolled his eyes.

“Forget it,” he said.

“No, hey, wait,” Bucky backtracked. “Why don’t you just ask her?”

“I’ve tried, but every time she tells me that it’s nothing, or that she’s just tired,” he told him.

Bucky looked at him warily for a few moments before answering carefully.

“Look… from what I can tell, she can be pretty prideful. But Carter’s crazy about you. I’m sure that if it’s anything important, she’ll tell you when she’s ready,” he assured him.

“Yeah, you’re right. Thanks, Buck,” Steve said gratefully.

“Honestly, I don’t know how you survived without me - I mean… I guess you _technically_ didn’t for a while,” Bucky realized out loud, his tone smug as he teased his friend.

Steve went to retort, but was interrupted by Melanie entering quickly from the hallway adjacent to them, causing her to run into Bucky. She stumbled and Bucky quickly moved to prevent her from falling by wrapping his arm around her waist and pressing her against him. Melanie grabbed onto his shoulders to stabilize herself.

“Sorry,” Melanie stuttered, her normally pale face now flushed pink with embarrassment.

“Don’t worry about it,” Bucky said, his voice surprisingly soft.

Steve looked at them with great interest as they spent the next few moments simply looking at each other. Their eyes were filled with obvious care for one another. He briefly wondered if this is what he and Peggy looked like to everyone else.

They both suddenly seemed to realized that they were still holding onto each other and they abruptly separated. Melanie cleared her throat and nervously tucked a flyaway hair behind her ear.

“Thank you, Mr. Barnes,” she said politely.

“Call me Bucky,” he told her, not for the first time since they had met.

“Why, you lose a bet?” she teased him, having seemingly recovered from their previous exchange.

“I did actually, but we bet my arm,” he quipped.

Melanie grinned.

“Well here’s some advice. Next time, bet the other guy’s arm,” she said conspiratorially.

“How did I never think of that?” he replied sarcastically, though a smile was tugging at his lips.

“Well I don’t want to brag, but I’m kind of a genius,” she shrugged, her smile still large.

“I don’t know if I’d say that,” he disagreed.

“Then what would you say?” she asked, stepping closer to him.

“I…uh…” Bucky trailed off, seemingly losing his train of thought at her mere proximity to him.

Melanie’s smile softened.

“I’ll see you later… Bucky,” she said quietly.

“Yeah. I’ll definitely see you,” he agreed.

“Well it’s not like you have a choice,” she teased him before she stepped away, continuing on her earlier path.

“Not bad, but to be honest, you had smoother moves back before the war,” Steve said when Melanie was out of sight.

Bucky turned to look at him, his face showing Steve how unimpressed he felt.

“I’m sorry, how many _years_ did it take you to ask Carter to go steady?”

_Too many._

“You know, now that I think of it, I don’t know if I ever actually asked,” Steve thought out loud.

“You two are hopeless,” Bucky said with a deadpan expression.

“Says the great Casanova who can’t ask Nurse Melanie out on a date,” Steve quipped.

He laughed as Bucky cursed him and punched his arm before stalking off ahead of him.

 

* * *

 

**An Empty Alley, The Bronx**

Peggy ducked into the alley, the cover of night shielding her from being seen by any lone soul that could possibly be walking by at this hour. She clutched her bag firmly. Near the back of the alley she saw Dugan, and she walked toward him.

“Is the wig really necessary?” he said with a raised eyebrow when she had approached him.

“You do remember the part where I told you this was top secret, don’t you?” she admonished him.

“Sure I do, but you never said we had to play dress up,” he teased her.

Peggy rolled her eyes fondly.

“That’s because you have no imagination. Espionage is more of a creative endeavour than you realize,” she quipped.

She grabbed a file from her bag and handed it to him as he chuckled.

“Study this. It contains all the information about where we’ll be going, including our strategy to get in. We can revise that in more detail when we’re on the plane in three days.”

“Yes ma’am.”

Peggy took out Michael’s photo from her bag. She hesitated for the briefest moment before handing it to Dugan.

“This is the target,” she said. “Our mission is to extract him and bring him back here unharmed.”

“Is he a prisoner or is he Leviathan?” Dugan asked as he analyzed the photo.

“A prisoner who was forced to work for Leviathan. At least that’s my theory,” she replied.

“So we’re saving him?”

“Yes.”

“And if your theory’s wrong?”

She hadn’t let herself think of that possibility. Genevieve had told her that Michael had consented to everything he’d done for Leviathan, but she also knew that Genevieve would to anything to toy with her head. Peggy knew her brother, and he would never do anything for them unless he was forced.

“It can’t be,” she replied firmly.

Dugan looked at her inquisitively. 

“Why not?”

Peggy met his gaze with steady eyes, though she felt anything but at the moment. She had yet to share anything about Michael’s identity with anyone, and until she had retrieved him and he was safe, she thought it best that she alone guarded that knowledge.

Not telling anyone about it also meant that she was able to maintain a certain needed distance from it - for the sake of her own sanity.

“If I say it out loud, it will make this all very real. I don’t know if I’m ready for that yet,” she admitted.

“It’ll be real when we find this guy and have to take him with us,” he told her.

“And when that moment comes, I’ll face it head on,” she promised him.

 

* * *

 

**October 24th, 1949 - Bucky’s Room, SSR Safe House**

“You’re slipping,” Barnes told Peggy as he captured one of her rooks.

“I’m simply distracted. Don’t get too excited, you still won’t win,” she said dismissively, not letting him know how disappointed she was that Barnes had been keeping her on her toes their entire game.

“I’m sure you’ve been pretty busy. HYDRA’s still on the lose, that’s kind of upsetting,” he said.

“Considering they tried to blow me up in order to kidnap you, I’d say so,” she commented as she moved one of her knights.

“Not just you Carter, don’t go feeling too special,” he quipped.

She rolled her eyes, gesturing for him to take his turn instead of responding.

“You’re also busy taking care of Stevie,” he continued, moving on of his pawns. “Making sure he doesn’t run himself into the ground. He’s always been such a martyr. You know that, of course.” 

Peggy kept her face unreadable as she analyzed her next move on the chessboard. Judging by his tone, he was leading to something. Since Barnes was as dramatic as Steve - if not more so - she knew that he would reveal it soon enough.

“And of course we can’t forget the stress of whatever secret it is you’re keeping from him.”

Peggy’s hand froze on her queen before she could finish taking her turn. She looked up at Barnes and found his blue eyes boring into her.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she told him in an even tone.

“Sure you do. You’re a smart cookie,” he said condescendingly.

“And you’re incorrigible,” she said tersely.

“Come on, Carter. Why else would he ask me if I’ve noticed anything strange about you?”

“Like you said, I’ve been busy. So has he. I’ll be sure to tell him that he has nothing to worry about,” she said evenly.

“Doesn’t he?” Barnes challenged.

“I understand he’s your friend, but it is not your place to comment on our relationship,” she snapped at him.

“It is when he comes to me about it. Look I know you love him or whatever, but I also know that you’re hiding something, and I don’t want it to come back and bite him in the ass,” he told her angrily.

“You’re right, I do love him, which means I would _never_ harm him,” she defended, her voice filled with indignation.

“Maybe not intentionally,” he conceded briefly. “But whatever you’re keeping from him will. So I just hope that whatever it is, it’s worth hurting him.”

Peggy simply stared stonily at him. Barnes matched her expression perfectly.

She knew that when she came clean about everything it would be difficult at first, but Steve would understand.

He would.

_Right?_

He had to.

“Your move, Carter.”

 

* * *

 

**October 25th, 1949 - Peggy Carter and Steve Rogers’ Apartment, Brooklyn, NY**

“Steve, darling, there’s something I need to tell you.”

Steve looked up from his book that he was reading on the couch to where Peggy was standing in front of him.

“What is it?” he asked, setting his book aside.

“There’s this overseas mission related to Leviathan. If it all works out, it could be a major breakthrough.”

“Sounds important,” he noted.

“It is,” she confirmed.

She took a breath. He couldn’t help but notice that Peggy seemed uncharacteristically nervous.

“I’m going,” she told him.

Steve nodded slightly.

“When do we leave?” he asked her.

She released a breathy laugh and gave him a small smile, sitting on the coffee table directly in front of him.

“You’re not going anywhere. I’m leaving in the morning,” she informed him.

“I can help,” he offered.

“Barnes needs your help here,” she told him.

“He’s being taken care of by Howard and the medical staff and the SSR. They can look after him without me for a few days,” he justified.

“But we need to keep him to as much of his established routine as possible, and you’re heavily involved in it. Despite his excellent progress, he’s still not in good enough shape for us to veer him too far away from it all at once,” she reasoned.

“Peggy, if you’re going to throw yourself into the middle of Leviathan territory, I want to be there,” he told her, reaching for her hand. “Not because you can’t handle it, I know you can take ‘em. It’s just… after what happened during Bucky’s surgery…”

Peggy’s face softened and she squeezed his hand, moving her free hand to cover his in a protective manner.

“My darling, you’re as noble as ever. I understand why you’re nervous. If it had been you in there while I was on the other side of the city…” she trailed off, not wanting to finish her thought.

She didn’t have to. Steve knew that she would have stormed in with her gun blazing if the roles had been reversed.

“The point is,” she continued. “I won’t let anything happen to me. I’m completing this mission and I’m coming home to you. That is nonnegotiable,” she told him.

Steve gave her a small smile. Even though they both knew they had no control over the events that would transpire on her mission, Peggy’s firm stance on the matter eased his spirits somewhat. If her tone was anything to go by, she would bring down hell on Leviathan before she let herself be stopped from coming back to him.

“Just be sure you come home,” he told her.

A strange look came over Peggy’s face. In a moment, it was gone.

“Of course I will,” she promised. 

“And if you need any help-” he began to offer before Peggy pressed a finger against his lips to silence him.

“Then I’ll call. But in the meantime, if you really want to do something for me, you can water the plant while I’m gone,” she said.

He raised his eyebrow at her as she removed her finger from his lips.

“How long are you planning on being gone?”

“No more than five days. But it needs to be watered tomorrow night so that it keeps on its schedule and doesn’t die,” she informed him.

“Yes, ma’am,” he said, smiling fondly at her.

She rolled her eyes, though when he kissed her hand she couldn’t help but smile. He then tugged at her hand, looking at her with a playful glint in his eyes. She picked up on his intentions and let him pull her closer so that she was now sitting on his lap. He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her temple. The tenderness of the action caused Peggy to close her eyes.

“There’s one more thing,” she said quietly.

“Mmm?” he hummed inquisitively, gently nuzzling his nose against her hair.

“This mission is extremely discreet. There’s only one person who knows of its existence, other than you.”

Steve pulled back to look at her curiously as she continued.

“I’m telling everyone that I have to take a few days off due to complications with my leg that I broke in Russia caused by the explosion at Howard’s estate. The doctor has me on strict bed rest.”

“Clever,” he noted, though there was something about the way that she wouldn’t quite look at him that made his slight apprehension return.

“Yes, well since everyone knows about us being together now,” she said pointedly, though she had a faint smile on her lips. “You might have a few people checking in to see how I’m doing, so you’ll have to keep my cover.”

“Even Jack?” he asked, assuming that he was the only one who could be sending her on this mission.

“Pretences are important,” she shrugged.

Steve tucked a hair behind her ear.

“Of course I’ll cover for you,” he said.

He studied her face for a moment before asking:

“Is there anything else?”

Before he could pick up on anything in her face she immediately shook her head slightly.

“No. Just that… I love you,” she said softly.

“I love you too,” he told her firmly.

Peggy cupped his face in her hands and kissed him gently. Steve tightened his grip of the one arm that was still around her waist and tangled his other hand in her hair, deepening their kiss.

After a few minutes he pulled away just enough so that their noses were still touching.

“You said you leave tomorrow morning, right?”

“Yes, why?”

“I now have some very important plans for us tonight,” he informed her quietly.

Peggy’s eyes lit up mischievously. She went to comment but was stopped by his lips pressing against hers.

They didn’t make it to the bed.

 

* * *

 

**October 30th, 1949 - Sovana, Tuscany, Italy**

“You ready?” Dugan asked her as they approached the entrance to the Leviathan base.

_No._

“Always,” she told him.

He gave her a pointed look but she simply gestured for him to continue their trek.

They both maneuvered themselves through the facility with relative ease considering the staggering amount of Leviathan agents that were milling about. Their four day stakeout of the hadn’t prepared them for the sheer amount of people that were currently present, threatening to ruin their mission. Getting Michael out unnoticed wouldn’t be an easy task. 

Finding him in the first place was turning out to be nearly impossible.

As they snuck through hallway after hallway, they checked every single room. More than once they had to quietly take out a room’s occupants and lock them back in the room.

They had scoured more than half the building when she began to lose hope. If it wasn’t for the fact that she had spent all her spare time memorizing the blueprints to the building, they would have easily gotten lost within the first few minutes. The layout of the building was difficult to navigate, and at this point the likelihood that they would miss Michael due to the complicated nature of the building was increasing with each step they took.

Peggy turned a corner and stopped abruptly, lowering her Thompson submachine gun. She barely noticed Dugan bump into her from behind.

Standing barely twelve feet away was a tall man with light brown hair. He looked up from the file he had been looking at, and she saw the light catch his grey eyes.

Michael.

No matter how many times she had seen him in her dreams since she found his picture, nothing could have prepared her for this.

Peggy felt her breath come quicker, and she took a step toward her brother.

“Peggy what the hell are you doing?” Dugan hissed at her.

Hearing the noise, Michael looked over at her. Their eyes met, and she felt her heart jump into her throat.

From behind her, she felt Dugan grab her arm and turn her to face him. She went to protest when she noticed a man in all black who had snuck up behind Dugan. Before she could react by giving warning or taking action, he had hit Dugan on the back of the head with the back of his gun, effectively knocking him out. In the next instant Peggy had raised her gun at the man.

A hard object collided with the back of her head. 

Her world went black.

 

* * *

 

**November 6th, 1949 - SSR Bullpen**

Steve was worried. 

Peggy had told him she expected to be back within five days. No more than five days, had been her exact words.

It had been a week and a half since she had left. 

Though it wasn’t unusual for a mission to run longer than expected, Peggy was usually deadly accurate when it came to estimating how long a particular operation would take. On more than one occasion during the war, her analytic skills and instinct had saved him and the Commandos from running out of supplies because she had the foresight to pack according to her beliefs rather than what someone else had originally planned. 

For it to be twice the amount of time she had estimated with no updates was concerning, to say the least. 

Peggy was the best Agent he knew. If anyone had the abilities to complete whatever mission it was that Jack had planned, it was her. 

That didn’t mean that she was untouchable.

Peggy had told him not to breathe a word to anyone, but after her initial five days leave of absence had run out, her team had been asking about her more frequently - Jack included for the sake of keeping up pretences. Steve had covered for her, saying that the healing was taking longer than the doctor expected, and that she would be back soon.

Every day that went by without her return he believed his own words less and less. 

On the tenth day after Peggy had left, he couldn’t stand being in the dark anymore. He waited until most of the agents had taken their lunch break, and he walked into Jack’s office. Peggy had told him that there was only one person who knew about the mission, meaning that Jack would be getting updates from her. The time for pretences was over. He needed to know. 

“What can I do for you?” Jack asked him after Steve had closed the door. 

“I want an update on Agent Carter,” he said. 

Jack raised his eyebrow at him. 

“You’ve been the one updating me. I don’t know what I would know that you wouldn’t.”

“I know about the mission, Jack. You know she told me,” Steve said to him. 

“What mission?”

Steve looked at him curiously. Jack’s head was tilted slightly and his eyebrows were now furrowed. 

“The mission you sent her on,” he clarified.

“I didn’t send Carter anywhere. She told me she was out for a few days because the explosion at Stark’s had caused her leg some trouble,” Jack told him. 

Steve’s stomach dropped. 

“No. No she said that she had to go on a Leviathan related mission. She told me-” Steve stopped abruptly as he realized something.

She never told him it was Jack who knew and had sent her. Steve had only assumed that.

“You didn’t send her,” he said out loud. 

“I sure as hell didn’t. You mind telling me where she is right now?” Jack asked, standing up.

“Overseas. I don’t know, she didn’t say where,” he replied, running his hand through his hair in frustration.

“What the hell is she doing overseas?”

“I don’t know,” Steve reiterated in a frustrated tone.

Jack stood up from his desk.

“You really expect me to believe that she didn’t tell you of all people what she was up to?” 

“I swear that’s all she said-”

“I would think that she’d trust you with this kind of thing,” he interrupted.

“Yeah well that makes both of us,” Steve answered harshly. 

Something about his defeated demeanour must have helped convinced Jack that he was currently just as blind-sighted. Jack swore and hit his fist on the desk. 

“Goddammit. She’s always had a bad habit of just running off and doing whatever she wants,” he berated her. 

“We need to find her,” Steve told him. “She told me she wouldn’t be gone more than five days. It’s been ten.”

“Something happened,” Jack agreed. “But how the hell are we supposed to find her? She could be anywhere on the other side of the world.”

A knock on the door startled both of them. 

“Come in,” Jack called out, huffing in frustration. 

Ramirez opened the door and poked his head in. 

“Hey Carter you want to answer your goddamn phone? It’s been ringing nonstop since you’ve been in here,” he said irritatedly.

Steve rolled his eyes and stalked off to his desk, where the phone was indeed still ringing. 

“This is Carter,” he answered. 

“Cap,” Dugan said, sounding out of breath. “ _Finally_.”

Steve frowned. 

“Dugan? What’s going on?” 

“You have to come to Italy. Now. Peggy’s in trouble.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title taken from the song "Wait For Me" from Hadestown. Also, if you listen to the new Original Broadway Cast Recording of Wait For Me, when Orpheus says "Mr. Hermes?" it sounds exactly like how Peter Parker says "Mr. Stark" and it WRECKED me.
> 
> Bit of a heads up, the next chapter may take a bit longer since I'm working an extra contract and most of my days are going to be crazy long this next week.
> 
> As always, my love goes to my beta and pal, Darcy.


	12. Aim for the Heart, Shoot to Kill

**October 30th, 1949 - Leviathan Cell, Sovana, Tuscany, Italy**

When Peggy had first woken up, she found herself on the cold floor of a windowless room. A sense of dread washed over her as she remembered what had happened. Reaching up to touch the back of her head, she winced when her fingers brushed over where she had been hit. Other than a small bump, she hadn’t seemed to sustain any other damage from the attack. 

Peggy looked around the room and began to assess her situation. There was no sign of Dugan, or any Leviathan agents for that matter. She hadn’t been restrained in any way, she was free to stand and roam around the small space - though there wasn’t much to explore. The large metal door was impossible for her to pry or kick open. There weren’t any other exit points. 

Her escape options were rapidly dwindling the more she examined the room. Until someone came and opened that door, there would be no way for her to fight her way out. No one from the SSR knew she was here. There would be no one who would come looking for her, at least not any time soon. Peggy was entirely alone.

_Why hadn’t she told Steve?_

Realizing she had no other option, Peggy sat herself in a comfortable position to wait for the next person to visit her to become her freedom opportunity. She waited for hours on end to be visited by someone, anyone. But as more hours kept passing by, no one had come to interrogate or torture her. She remained painfully alone.

Her mind kept returning to Steve, who was most likely still blissfully unaware to the gravity of her current situation - she hoped. With no sign of life other than herself, her mind wandered to the possibility that she may be stuck here much longer than she had originally hoped. Depending how long she remained here, she wondered how long it would take until he became worried enough to try and find her. 

_What if it was too late when he did?_

She immediately shook that thought out of her head. If she let herself go down that path, she would drive herself into the ground before she even had a chance. 

_This is why they put people in solitary confinement_ , she thought bitterly.

Instead, she decided to think of better things.

The way Steve’s eyes would always light up a certain way when he was planning to ask her to dance, giving him away every time. Yet it still filled her with joyous anticipation every time she caught that particular glint in his eyes. 

Whenever she was confused or upset, he would kiss the wrinkle in-between her eyebrows in an attempt to make her smile again. Even if she wasn’t able to give him a full smile, her spirits were always lighter afterward. 

If he woke up first before her and their alarm, it wasn’t unusual for her to find him either admiring her or gently tracing his fingertips over her body, as if trying to commit every inch of her to his memory. That particular thought conjured up a distinct warm memory. She squeezed her eyes shut and reminisced at the way his fingertips felt against her bare skin, the way his sleep-riddled voice sounded first thing in the morning, how his eyes were always so warm and loving for her. 

 

**July 5, 1949 - Peggy Carter and Steve Rogers’ Apartment, Brooklyn, NY**

_Peggy woke up to the skin on her abdomen tingling. Slowly peeking her eyes open, her vision began to focus on Steve, who was laying on his side facing her. His fingers were lightly roaming her stomach. The look in his eyes was so loving she felt as though her heart was going to burst in her chest. He hadn’t noticed that she was awake yet. She spent a few moments watching his gaze follow his fingers, giving every inch of her his undivided attention._

_It was moments like these that still tended to catch her off guard. There were many times when she still felt as though Steve’s presence in her life was just another dream her mind had created to torment her the moment she woke up. She found that she was reminding herself almost daily that it was all real, he was alive and with her. Yet seeing him like he was currently - so seemingly enraptured by her and devoted to her - was a whole other level. He made her feel seen in ways that she never thought she could be seen, and it all felt very surreal. With him, she was beginning to understand that vulnerability didn’t necessarily equate bad or weak._

_“I thought you’d be satiated after last night,” she teased him softly._

_Steve’s eyes flicked to her face, and his mouth broke out into a large grin._

_“Last night was… holy hell, Peggy,” he said._

_She grinned knowingly at his slightly dazed expression._

_“I tend to excel when it comes to birthday gifts,” she told him proudly._

_Steve chuckled and pulled her closer, his fingers now tracing her collarbone._

_“You, my dear, did more than excel,” he informed her._

_“I have always been an overachiever.”_

_He kissed her temple._

_“And to that I owe one of my best birthdays with my best girl,” he murmured._

_“Really?” she asked sincerely, all traces of teasing in her tone gone._

_“Really,” he promised. “You’re everything I’ve ever wanted.”_

 

**Present Day**

Peggy’s heart ached. She returned her focus to the door, ready to strike at the first opportunity.

_How long would it be before anyone came?_

 

* * *

 

**October 31st, 1949**

When she wasn’t thinking about Steve or planning her escape, she thought of Michael. In the hallway he had seemed so… casual. There hadn’t been any sign of distress on his skin or on his expression, and he was out in the open reading a file at what seemed to be his own leisure. 

She tried not to think about what that had meant. Seeing him had caused her enough of a shock. Her mind had shut down and she had made the most stupid mistake. She knew there was nothing that she could do about it now, but she was deeply disappointed with how she had let her emotions run rampant and cloud her judgement. Not only did it harm her mission, it put Dugan at risk.

_Wherever they were keeping him._

Eventually, a small portion of the bottom of the door slid open, and a tray containing a glass of water and a small loaf of bread was pushed through into the room. She dove for the opening, but it had shut before she had managed to make it there. Using her fingers, she tried to pry open the previously unnoticed element, which turned out to be yet another fruitless attempt.

Her attention turned toward the rations she had been provided, eyeing them warily.

Truth be told, it had been at least an entire day since she’d been locked up - if her watch was still accurate. Peggy was starving.

On the other hand, she couldn’t be confident that they weren’t trying to poison her.

She waited as long as she could before giving in, which she estimated to be nearly twelve hours later. Grabbing the water, she drank half of it in one go, her overly-dry mouth nearly humming in appreciation. She picked up the stale bread, frowning a bit. She had to crush it into small portions with her hands and chew forcefully to be able to swallow it properly. The remainder of the water served to help wash it down. 

After waiting another hour and a half, she was able to (mostly) confidently note that the bread and water hadn’t been poisoned, which led her to a very important conclusion.

_ They needed her alive. _

 

* * *

 

**November 4th, 1949**

As more time passed without any Leviathan agent making an appearance, Peggy’s frustration grew. All she needed was for one person to open the door even slightly so that she could fight her way out and save Dugan and Michael.

_Maybe they knew that._

The small opening slid open once again and another tray with water and bread entered the room.

Peggy checked her watch. As per the stable schedule that had been followed by Leviathan, her meal was once again delivered just after 2PM. Though truthfully, she hardly thought the stale bread and lukewarm water to be substantial enough to be considered a meal. It was hardly enough to keep her going. Only a few days here and she was beginning to feel the effects.

She came to a second realization.

_They were starving her out._

She had to admit, it was clever. If they had figured out who she was, they would know the amount of damage that she had caused both them and HYDRA, which meant they also knew that the last thing she would do is lie down without a proper fight. They wanted to weaken her to better their chances of getting whatever it is they wanted from her. It had to be the only reason they’d kept her alive for so long. Peggy grabbed the stale bread and slowly picked at it, not wanting to rush through it. She needed to save her strength for whenever they finally decided to send someone in.

As it turned out, she still had a few more days before she got what she wanted.

In more ways than one.

 

* * *

 

**November 7th, 1949**

She was sitting in a corner of the room with her head leaning against the wall and eyes closed. An unfamiliar sound caused her eyes to snap open, and she stood quickly as the door opened, revealing her brother.

Peggy’s mouth fell open slightly of its own accord. It had been enough of a blow to see him with half a hallway to separate them, but at this distance she was mere steps from him. She was close enough that she could see the faint wrinkles around his eyes, and the stray grey hairs that interspersed with his natural light brown colour.

“Agent Carter,” he greeted cordially. “I trust you’ve been enjoying your stay.”

Instead of responding to the voice that she hadn’t heard in nine years, Peggy simply stared at Michael warily, searching for any hint of recognition in his eyes - to no avail. She used to be able to read her brother like an open book. His indiscernible expression left her filled with dreadful suspense.

“What, nothing?” Michael challenged her, prompting Peggy to find her voice.

“I wouldn’t recommend that Leviathan branch out into the hotel industry. The food and lodgings here are quite abysmal,” she said flatly.

There was a trace of… something that ghosted through his eyes. If she didn’t know any better, she would have sworn that it was amusement.

Maybe she just wanted it to be amusement. Michael had always been fond of her sharp wit.

“Considering it’s far better than the immediate execution they wanted to subject you to, I’d be more grateful if I were you,” he told her.

Peggy looked at him curiously, as though challenging him.

“If they wanted to kill me, why didn’t they just do so? It certainly would have been less work than this.”

“I convinced them not to,” he answered.

Peggy had to work harder to keep her expression neutral.

“And why would you care what they do to me?” she asked.

Michael hesitated, clearly torn as to what to respond. She watched as his eyes filled with sadness.

“You know why,” he said eventually, his voice softer than it had previously been.

Peggy’s heart leapt into her throat.

“I need to hear you say it,” she said, her voice betraying her with a slight tremble.

Michael let out a breath, the remainder of his facade slipping.

“Because I’d die before I let anything happen to my sister,” he confided.

Without her permission, Peggy’s body let out a small sob.

“ _Michael_ ,” she said, rushing to him and wrapping her arms around him tightly.

He hesitated for only a moment before reciprocating. Peggy wasn’t certain how long they stood there holding each other, but by the time they pulled away, top of her head was slightly wet from Michael’s tears, and her tears had had the same effect on his shoulder.

“I thought you were dead,” she chastised him.

“I know. I’m sorry,” he said sadly.

Peggy’s tear-filled brown eyes pierced Michael’s grey ones.

“What happened to you? Why are you involved with Leviathan?”

“They captured me in 1940 while I was fighting in Germany, and I’ve been trapped with them ever since,” he explained bitterly.

Peggy couldn’t help but feel slightly relieved that he wasn’t here willingly.

“Did you ever try to escape?” she asked him.

He tore his eyes from her gaze.

“Yes but it got… complicated and it failed. To say the least.”

A clatter from outside caught both of their attention. Being reminded of her original mission, Peggy quickly turned back to him.

“Don’t worry about it. You can explain it on the way home,” she told him, trying to pull him to the door.

When he didn’t move, she frowned.

“Peggy… I can’t go with you,” he told her.

She narrowed her eyes at him, her heart beginning to hammer in her chest.

“Why the bloody hell not?”

“I just can’t,” he said in an exasperated voice.

“I am not taking no for an answer,” she persisted.

“You don’t understand, Peg. The things I’ve done… I’m not the Michael you knew.”

Peggy’s heart sank. She stepped closer to him and put her hands on his shoulders.

“And I’m not the Peggy you knew. We’ve both gone through so much and changed accordingly. Whatever it is you’ve had to do doesn’t change the fact that I know you’re still a good man.”

“I’m not. Not anymore,” he insisted sadly.

“I don’t believe that. I’m not giving up on you, Michael.”

“Peg-”

“No. You never once stopped believing that I was meant to be more than what I was, even when I didn’t believe it myself. Now it’s my turn to tell you that you are still meant to do great things.”

Michael sighed.

“Even if that’s true, something terrible will happen if I leave.”

“Whatever it is, we can work it out,” she told him firmly.

“But-”

“ _Please_ Michael. I can’t lose you again,” she begged him.

Michael looked at her with a pained expression. After a few moments he nodded slowly.

“Alright. Let’s go home,” he agreed.

Peggy felt so relieved she was afraid she’d start crying again. 

“First things first, we need to find Dugan and break him out,” she told him

“You mean the bloke that came here with you? He escaped yesterday,” Michael informed her.

“Oh thank God,” Peggy sighed in relief. “Then can you get us out of here?” she asked.

He nodded.

“Now it’s not going to be easy but we can-”

A booming thud sound came from the other side of the door, causing both of them to jump. Michael stepped in front of Peggy protectively.

“What the bloody hell?” Michael cursed, drawing his gun.

The door opened suddenly, revealing Steve. Peggy’s heart leapt into her throat at the sight of him.

Noticing Michael with his gun raised at him and his body half-shielding Peggy’s, Steve’s eyes filled with anger and he prepared himself to charge him. Realizing what was about to happen, she pushed Michael aside and stepped between him and Steve, putting her hands up to stop him.

“Ste-stop! Don’t hurt him,” she told him.

Breathing heavily, Steve paused and frowned at her, his eyes filled with confusion.

“He’s a prisoner,” she explained. “He’s been helping me.”

Steve looked between her and Michael. Slowly, he lowered his arm that had been ready to hit Michael down to his side. Something in his expression changed, and it terrified her that she couldn’t discern what it meant.

“I think you owe me an explanation,” he told her flatly.

Peggy’s heart sank. Before she could form an apology, the sound of gunfire began in the distance. Michael spoke up from behind them.

“Peg, we need to leave now.”

Steve’s head turned sharply to him.

“We?”

“Yes, he’s coming with us.”

She could sense Steve’s slight hesitation. Though it stung, she knew it was warranted.

“I know I don’t deserve it, but I need you to trust me on this,” she asked him.

At the pleading look in her eyes he nodded slowly.

“Smith and Thompson are waiting on the east side of the building for us,” he told her.

“Smith and Thompson?” she echoed.

“Carters!” 

She looked to the doorway where Agent Ramirez just arrived, breathing heavily.

“Ramirez?” she asked in surprise.

Steve sighed, causing her to return her attention to him.

“You may have forgotten, but there are people on your side. You’re not alone in this,” he told her.

“Grant-”

“Look, I’m all for happy reunions, but we’re outgunned and outmanned. We need to jet now,” Ramirez interrupted her.

Slightly regretfully, she turned her attention back to Michael.

“How do we get to the east side of the building?”

“Follow me,” he said.

Peggy nodded and gave Steve and Ramirez a look they both knew meant not to question her. While Ramirez radio’d in their retreat, Steve slung off the extra machine gun that he had strapped to his back and handed it to Peggy. She ignored the wide-eyed look her brother gave her and gestured for him to take the lead. Together they, along with Ramirez, followed Michael through the Leviathan facility. There were sounds of gunshots and footsteps all around them. 

“On your left!” Ramirez shouted. 

Peggy immediately turned and stepped in front of Michael, aiming her gun at the half dozen men charging their way before firing at them with deadly accuracy.

When they all fell, she turned back to look at her brother, who looked shocked, though she almost thought she could see a hint of pride in his eyes. She gave him a small smile.

“I told you, we’ve both changed. Now let’s go,” she ordered him.

He nodded and continued to lead them until they managed to escape the facility. Ramirez then took point and guided them to where the rest of her SSR team had only just arrived at the truck that was being guarded by Smith and Thompson. 

Once they were all safely in the truck, Jack began to drive away. Breathing heavily, Peggy noticed Dugan at the same time his eyes landed on her.

“Peggy,” Dugan greeted her, hugging her tightly.

“I’m glad you’re alright. I’m so sorry,” she whispered to him before pulling away.

“It’s okay, we’re both safe. Besides, we got your guy after all,” he told her, nodding his head toward Michael.

She nodded gratefully and the action caused her to begin to feel slightly dizzy. She leaned back against the wall of the truck and settled herself down to a seated position. Now that the adrenaline of seeing Michael and escaping Leviathan was wearing off, she found herself feeling the effects of the dehydration and lack of proper nutrition that she’d been subjected to the last few days.

Peggy closed her eyes and focused on breathing deeply. She felt something being pressed into her hand, and she looked over to see that Steve had handed her a canteen. His hand only lingered for a moment longer before he retracted it, leaving her holding it alone. She gave him a grateful look, but he simply nodded at her, his eyes revealing nothing before he turned to face forward. Ignoring how her heart was aching, she greedily drank the contents of the canteen. When she had finished it she let out a small breath and clutched it tightly in her hands.

 

* * *

 

They arrived at an uninhabited house. Dugan told Peggy that he had found it after he had escaped his cell in the Leviathan facility, and used the phone there to contact Steve. Since the SSR had come on such short notice, they needed to wait an hour while Dugan and Davis refuelled the plane before they could return back home.

The rest of them filed into the living room of the house, Jack arriving last.

“Carter, we need to-” Jack stopped as he was addressing Peggy, noticing Michael for the first time since their escape. “Who the hell is this?” he asked.

“His name is Michael, he was Leviathan’s prisoner, and he’s coming home with us,” Peggy told him.

She watched as Jack’s mouth formed a thin line.

“No,” he said flatly.

“Jack-”

“Have you already forgotten about Ivchenko?” he snapped at her. “Last time we took home a Leviathan ‘prisoner’, our Chief ended up dead. I’d really prefer to not blow up a week from now.”

Peggy let out an exasperated breath.

“None of you would have even found out the truth about Ivchenko if it hadn’t been for me,” she pointed out. “And I can guarantee that this is not like that whatsoever.”

“You have no way of knowing,” he said.

“Yes I do,” she insisted. 

Jack huffed angrily and turned to the other men in the room.

“Leave us,” he ordered them before turning to Steve. “Except you, Carter. You probably want to hear this.”

Michael looked between Steve and Peggy curiously.

“No relation,” they both said simultaneously.

The corners of Peggy’s mouth twitched upward slightly.

“Now,” Jack said firmly to Michael when he still hadn’t left.

Michael hesitated and gave her a concerned look. She nodded slightly to reassure him. Though he didn’t look convinced, he followed Ramirez, Anderson, and Smith out of the room.

Peggy stood stiffly, knowing that whatever was going to come, it wasn’t going to be pretty. Jack looked positively livid, and she supposed he had a right to be. The mission - which she had kept from everyone - had gone quite a ways more rough than she had wanted. Though a part of her wished that Jack hadn’t asked Steve to stay, she knew that she had kept enough from him. This could be the beginning of her penance.

“What in the living hell were you thinking, Carter?” Jack started on her as soon as the other men had left.

“That there was a man who needed help who could also be key in our fight against Leviathan,” she answered objectively.

“And you decided that going rogue was the best way to bring him in?”

“Yes,” she told him bluntly.

“Do you not realize how stupid that was? You could have died. You could have gotten Dugan killed.”

“We both knew the risks going into it.”

“It’s not just that. You went behind the SSR’s back-”

“The SSR was focused on Barnes and HYDRA. They were the priority, and I wasn’t going to risk taking away resources from either of them for this one mission.”

Jack was about to continue when he suddenly stopped himself. He looked at Peggy as his eyes filled with realization.

“But this one mission was worth risking your life,” Jack said.

“I risk my life every day for this job, this is nothing different,” she told him.

“But it is,” he insisted.

“How on earth-” 

“See, the thing about you, Carter,” he interrupted. “Is that you can pretend to be a cold, lone wolf all you want, but deep down you care, despite yourself. Despite how much you’ve lost and how awful you've been treated, you still care.”

Peggy stared at him evenly.

“You say that as if it’s a bad thing,” she challenged, her voice not betraying how unsettled she currently felt.

“It’s not,” he agreed. “But in hindsight, it’s made you predictable.”

She raised her eyebrow at him as he continued.

“You got arrested for treason just to prove Stark innocent of the same crime. You kept Captain America’s blood from the SSR-”

“Don’t you dare-” she spat at him, ignoring the way Steve’s eyes were piercing into her. 

Jack continued as if she hadn’t spoken.

“ - because you said that you wanted a second chance to keep him safe. You nearly got yourself killed saving Sousa’s life. You only act this stupid and reckless when it’s to protect someone you care about. So who the hell is this guy and why was he worth all of this?”

Peggy felt as though she had been slapped. Her heart was beating so loudly it was nearly the only thing she could hear. She finally tore her gaze away from Jack, and her eyes landed on Steve, whose focus was still trained on her. For the first time since he had arrived at her cell in the Leviathan facility, she took a good look at him. There were dark circles under his eyes. More than anything, she noted the pain in his expression, and the way his eyes seemed to be silently pleading with her. She let out a soft breath.

“He’s my brother,” she admitted quietly.

There was a heavy moment of silence where none of them breathed.

“You’ve never mentioned a brother,” Jack said, his voice not nearly as harsh as it had just previously been.

“That’s because he died in 1940, in service of the British Armed Forces,” she answered, never taking her eyes off Steve.

“But he’s not dead,” Steve said softly.

Peggy shook her head.

“He was taken by Leviathan.”

She turned back to Jack, steeling herself for her next confession.

“You’re right. I was reckless and I acted irrationally. Even though it worked out for us, I don’t know what would have happened if Dugan hadn’t managed to escape and call you.”

Peggy took a breath before continuing. She had always hated admitting when she was wrong. Especially to Jack.

“I’ll accept any punishment you deem fit without a word of argument… Just promise me that the SSR will protect him.”

As Jack considered her for the next few moments, his eyes seemed to soften ever so slightly. He nodded slowly.

“Deal,” he agreed. 

Peggy let out a relieved sigh.

“Thank you,” she said quietly. 

“Now get cleaned up. We leave in 45 minutes,” he told her.

She nodded and left the room, heading straight for the back of the house to a small room away from everyone else. Peggy took a few moments to gather herself. She had managed to keep herself from crying when she revealed Michael’s identity, but the events of the last week had left her emotionally drained. 

At the sound of approaching footsteps, she looked up and saw that Steve was standing in the doorway.

A few moments passed without either of them speaking. Peggy wanted to say so many things to him, but she didn’t know what to start with. She knew that she needed to apologize, but truth be told, between the emotional fatigue that had been caused by her reunion with Michael and her guilt about keeping Steve in the dark, and the fact that she’d barely eaten or drank water in the last week, Peggy could hardly keep her head straight at this point in time.

“I wish you would’ve told me,” Steve said softly, finally breaking the silence.

“That was my first thought when I woke up in that cell,” she confided quietly.

“You should’ve thought it sooner,” he told her.

She swallowed thickly.

“I know. I’m so sorry. I don’t know how I can…”

Peggy began to feel lightheaded, and in an instant Steve crossed to her side and steadied her. She hadn’t even realized that she’d started to sway slightly.

She took advantage of their close proximity and leaned her body into his, resting her head on his shoulder. As his arms wrapped around her, she felt herself relax more than she had in more than two months. It was the first time since she first found Michael’s picture in the Leviathan file that she didn’t feel the burden of her secret between them. Though she wasn’t even close to being out of the woods, at least now he knew the truth. She didn't have to hide from him anymore.

“You need food,” he told her.

She shook her head slightly in protest.

“I just need you,” she whispered.

She felt his hold on her tighten.

“I need you to trust me,” he told her in a firm whisper.

“I do,” she told him.

“Clearly you don’t.”

He didn’t sound angry. He sounded a combination of being resigned, tired, and sad. 

She would have preferred it if he had been angry; if he had argued with her, yelled. It would have been easier to handle than hearing him so defeated.

Because of her.

Peggy pulled back just enough to look at him.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I wish I could explain why I kept it from you, but the more I think about it, the more frail my arguments become.”

She reached up to gently hold his face in her hands and continued.

“I never wanted to hurt you, my darling. I’ll never be able to apologize enough.”

It felt like an eternity as she waited for his response. His eyes seemed to soften, and instead of answering, he tilted his head toward her and she closed the gap, gently pressing her lips against his. Steve immediately deepened the kiss and maneuvered her so that she was leaning against the wall. The fervour with which he kissed her reminded her just how dire the situation had been. How close she’d let her own fears and insecurities get to taking her from him. She kissed him harder, trying to convey just how much she wanted to make things right between them.

When they pulled away, they were both panting. Peggy clung onto his biceps, not trusting herself to be able to remain upright on her own. Steve leaned his forehead against hers and nuzzled their noses together.

“I love you,” she whispered.

“I love you too,” he reciprocated.

Peggy could have cried from relief at hearing him say it back. Before she could say anything else, her stomach let out a loud growl.

The corners of Steve’s mouth twitched upward. Peggy’s followed suit and soon they were both laughing softly.

“Maybe I do also need food,” Peggy admitted regretfully.

Steve rolled his eyes fondly and pressed his lips against her forehead.

They weren’t okay, but they were going to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title taken from the song "When the Chips are Down" from Hadestown.
> 
> Please let me know what you think of the chapter!
> 
> Also, a heads up, my pals: I'm starting a new contract next week (yay!). However, this means I'll probably only be writing one chapter a week for the next little while because of the time commitment. Rest assured though, I plan to see this story through, and trust me, there is much more to come.
> 
> My eternal love goes to Darcy, my dear friend and beta <3


	13. Fight For Me

**November 7th, 1949 - SSR Safe House**

When they landed back on US soil, the SSR team immediately led Michael to the safe house, where he was escorted by Jack to one of the medical rooms to be properly examined. Peggy went to follow but was stopped by Steve, who insisted that she be checked out as well. Not wanting to be separated from her brother, she protested the need for it, but reluctantly conceded at the hard look that Steve gave her. Though she hated the idea of leaving Michael alone with Jack, she understood that now was not the time to pick a fight with Steve. She had caused him more than enough frustration - among other things.

“I’ll look after him while you’re in there,” Steve promised her when he noticed how her gaze had hardly left the door that Michael had just walked through. 

“Thank you,” she whispered, feeling a slight relief at his gesture.

He opened the door to the examination room beside Michael’s and made sure she went in before leaving to rescue her brother from Jack.

Melanie crossed his path as she entered the room and walked over to Peggy. She offered her a warm smile.

“Glad to see you’re back safe, people were worried,” she greeted.

Peggy raised her eyebrow slightly.

“We’ve only just returned. Does the entire SSR know what happened?” she asked.

Melanie nodded.

“You know how much the fellas love to gossip.”

Peggy rolled her eyes. Their vulture-like nature when it came to gossip - especially when it pertained to her - had always irked her more than she cared to admit.

“You don’t have to tell me,” she replied.

Picking up on the tinge of bitterness in her tone, Melanie changed the subject.

“You don’t look too bad considering the circumstances,” she noted out loud as she began to take Peggy’s blood pressure.

“I feel perfectly fine,” she insisted to Melanie, who raised her eyebrow at this.

“According to your _sweetheart_ when he called while you were still in Italy, you went a week with hardly any food or water intake. Though I’m sure you’ve been making up for it on the plane ride home, we can’t be too careful,” Melanie told her.

Though Peggy felt a warm tug at her heart, she feigned exasperation.

“You’re just as bad as he is,” she commented.

Melanie rolled her eyes, though there was amusement behind it.

“He cares about you,” Melanie chided her lightly.

Peggy couldn’t help but let her facade down and smile softly.

“He does, doesn’t he? Despite what I’ve just put him through he still does,” she mused out loud.

Melanie didn’t reply and allowed Peggy to get briefly lost in her own thoughts. 

Truthfully, she really didn’t know what she did to deserve Steve. 

It was an intrusive thought that would creep into her mind every now and again, and it was back now in full force - if not more so than normal. For as much as she had tried to do the right thing, she understood now that she hadn’t taken the time to properly consider how it would affect him. They were supposed to be a team, and she had kept her partner out of her game plan. 

“I think it was brave, what you did,” Melanie confessed quietly after a few moments of silence.

Peggy gave her a small smile.

“Though I’d like to agree, I’m afraid it was more reckless than anything,” she admitted.

“Still, you rushed into the heart of the enemy to save that man. No hesitation, no waiting for permission. That takes guts,” Melanie insisted.

After a moment’s hesitation, she continued.

“I really admire you. I’ve read all about your career - I mean the only female agent in this organization, how could I not? And everything I’ve read, it’s all been so inspiring. For years you’ve clawed your way through an overbearingly male-dominated field, and gained respect and status. You’ve started an entirely new organization that’s about to absorb this one. You’re blazing the trail for other women who also want to change the world.”

Peggy’s heart swelled at Melanie’s words. She had never considered herself to be heroic, or even particularly admirable. Her only goal was to keep the world safe, and she was satisfied in playing her part to the fullest in order to achieve this. 

She knew very well what her worth was, but hearing someone other than Daniel or Steve call her inspiring filled her with a pride she didn’t know existed. Peggy had spent so much time fighting, she never took time to consider how her actions would be perceived by people outside of the core group of agents at the SSR, let alone other women like Melanie. It was unexpectedly heartwarming.

“Melanie, that is very kind of you. Thank you,” Peggy said, her voice filled with care. “And I have to say I admire you as well,” she added.

Melanie raised her eyebrow at her as though she was unconvinced. Peggy gave her a warm smile.

“I’m serious. Nursing is difficult enough as it is, and with everything that you’ve had to go through with the SSR to this point, I believe we can both safely say that this is far beyond a standard nursing position. Yet you’ve handled it with nothing but grace, and not a word of complaint. You’re positively exceptional at what you do,” Peggy told her sincerely.

Melanie’s cheeks turned slightly pink, though she was smiling.

“Thank you, Agent Carter,” she said genuinely.

“Oh please, I believe we are well past the point where you can call me Peggy,” she told her.

“Very well, Peggy,” Melanie agreed, smiling widely. “But you have to call me Mel.”

“Deal. Oh, and you _must_ come with us the next time we go for a drink,” Peggy all but ordered her. “It’ll be nice to have another woman there, especially one who can hold her own against the lot of those boys,” she insisted.

Mel couldn’t help but laugh.

“You sure have a lot of faith considering I’ve never been up against all of them at once,” she joked.

“I’ve seen you handle Jack and Ramirez well enough. And it certainly says a lot that you can keep Barnes in line. He’s worse now than he was during the war. That alone earned my immediate respect,” Peggy told her honestly.

Mel shifted her gaze away from Peggy’s and the tips of her ears turned pink. Peggy smiled knowingly.

“He just likes to push everyone’s buttons. I think it’s a coping mechanism for what he’s been through,” Mel shrugged, reaching for a small flashlight.

“I think it helps that he’s rather fond of you,” she said casually.

“I hadn’t noticed,” Mel replied in the same tone, shining the light in each of Peggy’s eyes and notating their reaction.

“I have,” Peggy told her plainly.

“He’s like that with all the nurses,” Mel commented, writing something down on her clipboard.

“Barnes is a natural flirt, you’re right. But it’s different with you,” Peggy noted out loud.

When Mel’s cheeks and ears went even redder, Peggy decided to let the matter go. She remembered very well her experience during the war, and how she would immediately become standoffish if anyone dared make a comment about her and Steve. It played a large part in the snail’s pace development of their relationship. Mel deserved the discretion that she never got.

“Well that’s it,” Mel announced once she was done running all her tests on Peggy. “Your blood sugar and pressure are both low, but that’ll regulate itself out as your body returns to its regular routine. I recommend a lot of rest, food and fluid. Come back in a week so we can follow up.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Peggy agreed, smiling at Mel.

After a few moments of careful consideration, she decided to speak up again.

“I’ve personally never been very good at handling emotions, more specifically, how I project them. I tend to be abrasive at the best of times to keep people out, and when I do allow myself to care, I act irrationally,” Peggy confessed.

Mel looked at her curiously as she continued.

“If there is one thing that the war taught me, it’s that we are not given enough time on this Earth to not share your heart with someone you love. Even if you don’t lose them tomorrow, every second is precious.”

Peggy watched as an array of emotions flashed across Mel’s face before it settled back to a neutral expression.

“Thank you for the advice, Peggy,” she said sincerely.

“Don’t mention it, just learn from my mistakes,” she told her.

Mel gave her a warm smile.

“Yes ma’am,” she agreed.

Someone cleared their throat from the doorway, and they both turned to see Barnes leaning against the frame of the door. His eyes met Mel’s, and the corners of his mouth turned upward into a smile.

“Mel, you look as breathtaking as ever,” he greeted.

Mel rolled her eyes, but the slight smile on her mouth gave her away.

“Bucky, you’re relentless as ever,” she greeted in return.

“I think you meant charming,” he corrected.

“I really didn’t,” she informed him.

Bucky put his hand over his heart, feigning as though he was wounded.

“You’re killing me, Mel.”

“You survived HYDRA, I’m sure you’ll live through this,” she quipped as she picked up the clipboard she had been taking notes on.

“Is that your official diagnosis?” he asked.

“I’m afraid so,” she answered, walking toward him.

“Guess that means you’re stuck with me,” he told her.

“Not the worst thing to ever happen to me,” she teased him before walking past him into the hallway.

He watched her leave, and Peggy couldn’t help but smile at the two of them with amusement. The way they acted around each other made their feelings for one another completely obvious. It wasn’t too different from how she and Steve behaved in their younger years, she couldn’t help but think.

Barnes head turned to look at Peggy once Mel was out of his sight, interrupting her thoughts.

“So was it worth it?” he asked.

Peggy’s good demeanour dissipated, and she gave him a hard look.

“I never meant to hurt him,” she told him in a firm voice.

“But you did,” he reminded her. “So tell me, was it worth it?”

They ended up in a staring match for a few moments. Barnes was relentless on his best days, and it was clear that he wasn’t going to back down. Normally Peggy would be more than up for the challenge, but she was still exhausted from the events of the last week. To be honest, she was tired of fighting - at least for right now.

“I should have gone about it differently,” she admitted quietly. 

Barnes kept staring at her intensely for a few more moments before his gaze softened ever so slightly.

“You’re lucky he’s crazy about you,” he told her.

“Believe me, I know,” she sighed, running a hand through her hair.

“Good,” Barnes nodded, any distrust that was left in his eyes vanishing.

She gave him a curious look as he sat down beside her. 

“That’s all? I expected more of a ‘holier than thou’ lecture. Something along the lines of ‘ _you claim to care about him so much, how could you treat him like this_ ’,” she mimicked Barnes.

He snorted in response, and to her surprise, he was smiling slightly.

“As stupid as you acted, you were trying to save your brother. If Steve were in trouble, I’d do the same. Besides, something tells me he’s gonna forgive you a hell of a lot sooner than you’ll forgive yourself,” he noted. 

Peggy stared ahead instead of answering. Partly because she couldn’t quite stomach to admit that Barnes was right again, but mostly due to the fact that he was seeing right through her.

“So what’s next?” he asked when she didn’t respond for a few moments. 

“I spend the rest of my life making it up to him,” she said.

“That’s a good start. Though I’m sure he’ll let you off the hook way before that. You should too,” he told her. 

He stood and turned to the door before abruptly turning back to face her.

“Oh, and before I forget, you might want to look in on your brother. I think his check up’s done. I heard Thompson getting on his case or yelling or something like that when I walked by.”

“Bloody hell,” Peggy groaned, standing up.

So much for no more fighting today.

“You’re welcome,” Barnes called out as she stormed out of the room and into the one beside hers.

Jack’s voice filled her ears before her eyes landed on him.

“You’re going to talk right now or so help me-”

“What the bloody hell is happening in here?” she interrupted forcefully.

Jack, Michael, and Steve all turned their heads to look at her.

“Thank the Lord, we can finally begin,” Jack announced in an exasperated tone.

“What are you going on about?” she asked him.

“Your brother was refusing to say anything about Leviathan until you got here,” he explained.

“I didn’t want to keep anything else from you, and I certainly don’t want to go through this more times than necessary,” Michael told her.

She gave him a small, soft smile.

“And now she’s here, so we can begin,” Steve tried to soothe Jack.

Jack looked between the three of them and huffed.

“You know it was bad enough when you were the only Carter I had to deal with,” Jack told Peggy.

“Things were bound to turn in my favour sometime,” she replied in a deadpan tone before turning to Michael.

“Now go ahead, Michael,” she prompted gently.

“It’s difficult to know where to start,” he admitted, looking at her with tired eyes.

“You can tell us how Leviathan got you in the first place,” she suggested.

“Alright,” he agreed. “But you’re not going to like how much it involves you,” he told her.

“What does it have to do with me?” she asked curiously, her stomach tightening.

“Everything has to do with you, Peg,” he told her sadly.

She didn’t like where this was going already. Judging by the tenseness in Steve’s shoulders, neither did he.

“How so?” she prompted. 

His hesitation did nothing to ease her worries.

“Michael, I need to know if Leviathan is planning something against me,” she told him.

He rubbed the back of his neck and nodded.

“When I was captured in France, I was taken to a facility. I don’t remember much. I had gotten knocked out by an explosion. When I came to, someone visited me, and told me that they were impressed with my war record, and that they could use someone with my… talents, as it were.”

“I refused, of course,” he said quickly when he noticed Jack’s narrowed eyes. 

“That was when they began torture me. They tried everything imaginable, but as so kindly noted by your colleague,” he said pointedly toward Jack. “We Carters are nothing if not resilient.”

“Stubborn is the word I’d use,” Jack muttered.

Peggy elbowed him and motioned for Michael to continue. He gave her a small smile. 

“This went on for days, maybe weeks, I’m not quite sure. Eventually, they took me from my cell and brought me to an interrogation room of sorts and cuffed me to the table. It was so bright in there…”

Michael seemed to lose his train of thought, his gaze going distant. 

“What did they do?” Peggy prompted him gently, her mind whirling with all the possibilities. 

“A woman walked into the room. Without a word, she set a folder on the table and opened it so I could see the contents. Peg, it… it was filled with pictures of you,” he finished in a slightly strained voice.

“They’d been keeping tabs on me,” she realized out loud.

“Yes. They told me if I didn’t cooperate, they would torture and kill you while I watched,” he continued bitterly.

“So you stayed,” she finished for him sadly. “Because of me.”

“To protect you,” he corrected. “I told you I’d sooner die than let anything happen to you.”

“So you spent years working for Leviathan with the threat of them getting me hanging over your head?”

“Yes,” he answered.

Peggy had to fight the burning sensation she felt in her eyes. Lately it seemed that she had a habit of hurting everyone she cared about.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered.

“It was my choice,” he reassured her. 

Peggy went to speak when Jack interrupted her.

“So they threatened you once and you stayed with them for nine years?”

“Jack,” Peggy snapped at him.

“It’s alright Peg. As annoying as it is, I can understand his trepidation,” Michael soothed her before turning back to Jack. 

“And as for that, it wasn’t just one time. Every time I began to... forget myself, as _they_ put it, they would threaten her again. At that point I knew all too well what they were capable of, so I’m afraid it never took much to make me complacent again. This went on for years.”

“You told me you tried to escape,” Peggy said to him, remembering their interaction in her Leviathan cell.

He tensed at this and took a sharp breath. 

“I know this is difficult, but we need to have all the facts,” she continued gently. 

Michael sighed and resumed in a quieter, tighter voice. 

“I tried to escape just over two years ago. There was something brewing with them, something big and terrible. I didn’t know what it was - I never asked. I just knew I didn’t want any part of them anymore. I didn’t want any more blood on my hands. It had been a while since I had stepped over the line, and I thought that they trusted me enough that I could get away with it.”

He let out a hollow chuckle at the memory. Peggy wanted to reach for him, but found her body was rooted to its current location out of sheer dread at the possibility of what his consequence could have been.

“They caught me and brought me back, threatening to hurt you again. But for whatever reason it was - desperation, rage, I don’t know… I didn’t feel scared. They threatened you enough times that it had started to seem hollow. It was the only thing that could keep me in line, so I thought that they would never do it. I had become valuable, and they couldn’t harm you without the risk of losing me. So I told them as such, and that I wouldn’t stop fighting until I was free of them… I was so stupid.”

“That sounds rather brave to me,” she told him sincerely.

“Not when they came back hours later with proof that they had captured you,” he responded.

Peggy furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. 

“What do you mean?”

“I realized when I saw you in Italy that it was all a lie, but they convinced me that they had gotten a hold of you and were going to keep you prisoner. At the slightest hint of any further rebellion from me, they would kill you without hesitation.”

Peggy felt as though her head was spinning.

“But what evidence did they give? Italy was the first time they’d ever captured me,” Peggy told him. 

Michael’s mouth formed a thin line.

“They gave me this,” he said, pulling out a ring.

Peggy’s mouth fell open slightly and she gasped softly.

Fred’s engagement ring. 

She was reaching for it before she knew what her body was doing. Michael handed it to her. Her fingers held it as though it would disintegrate at any sudden movement. She half-expected it to.

Peggy hardly listened as Michael apologized for allowing himself to be deceived by the ring. 

Her mind began to wander to another lifetime. She was 21 and naive, believing that her mother’s plan for her was what she wanted as well. Her true nature was stuffed so far deep into herself that it had been stifled out of existence - or so she thought. Only Michael had known that that woman was the one who deserved the chance to live. 

The ring was the physical manifestation of the series of mistakes she had made that almost left her trapped in a life she would have grown to resent. When she removed it from her hand for the last time, she had promised herself to never change herself again, if only to honour her brother’s memory. 

She could feel the weight of the pain it had caused both her and Michael. She had half a mind to burn it.

“I’ll wager your husband will be happy to see the ring returned,” Michael said, not hiding the bitterness in his voice.

Peggy’s eyes snapped back to him, shocking her back to the reality of the room they were in. 

“My _what_?”

Steve and Jack both turned to look at her sharply. Peggy met Steve’s eyes. She found her own confusion mirrored in his expression - though his contained a half-masked pain that caused a sharp twinge in her heart.

“Your husband, Fred,” Michael clarified, slightly confused.

Oh.

_Oh._

“Oh no - he - we didn’t - I didn’t marry him,” Peggy told him. 

Michael’s eyes went wide. 

“Are you joking?”

“Not at all,” she replied honestly.

“After you made such a fuss and stormed away from me at your engagement party? Peg, you _insisted_ you were irrevocably in love with him and that nothing would change that. What happened?” he asked incredulously.

“You died,” Peggy said simply. 

Michael’s face dropped.

“Peg-”

“No, don’t apologize,” she interrupted. “Michael, when you died... I woke up. I realized that you’d been right all along. I was meant for more than what he had planned,” she explained. 

“Well I can’t say that I’m not relieved,” Michael admitted slowly. 

Peggy couldn’t help but roll her eyes fondly. 

“I know you weren’t fond of him.”

Michael scoffed.

“Not fond of him? It wasn’t just that, Peg, it was clearly an ill suited match. What were you thinking?” he teased her. 

“Clearly I wasn’t,” she agreed. “But you have to remember this was when the whole world convinced me that I had to earn love by being a proper lady. I’ve learned since what real love is,” she told her brother.

“I should hope so. You were quite off the first time,” he joked.

Peggy found herself laughing, and she gave him a soft smile.

“I’ve missed you,” she said quietly.

“I’ve missed you too, Peg,” he told her.

He walked to her and hugged her tightly. She reciprocated, burying her face in his shoulder.

 

* * *

 

**Peggy Carter and Steve Rogers’ Apartment, Brooklyn, NY**

Together, Steve and Peggy had managed to convince Jack to let them all rest for the evening, and that Michael could tell them everything else first thing in the morning. After a lengthy goodbye between brother and sister, and a promise to keep vigilant in case Leviathan decided to retaliate immediately, Steve had taken Peggy home and set up a warm bath for her.

“Join me?” she asked quietly when it was ready, her arms wrapped around herself.

Steve shook his head.

“You need to clean yourself up properly,” he told her.

He kissed her forehead, missing the way that her face fell at his response.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to join her. After what had happened he was more than reluctant to let her out of his sights, but he meant what he said. He knew if he stayed they wouldn’t get much washing done. Besides, they both needed a bit of time alone to process the last 24 hours.

Steve walked into the bedroom and took off his shirt, tossing it into the laundry hamper. He ran a hand through his hair and let his shoulders drop. Now that everything had finally begun to settle, he was able to take a moment for himself.

His eye caught the picture sitting on the nightstand on Peggy’s side of the bed. It had been taken by Angie, who had recently taken an interest to photography. Even more recently, she was specializing in photographing Peggy and Steve whenever the three of them spent time together. When they had avoided her request to see pictures of them together, she had assumed that they didn’t have any. That wasn’t true of course, there were a sparse amount that had been taken for documentation purposes during the war. However, since Steve was wearing his Captain America uniform in most of them, those were to be treasured just by the two of them.

Angie had then made it her mission to become their personal photographer. Though they both protested at the near incessant flashing that it had resulted in, she was adamant that when they finally got married, they would be beyond grateful to have so many pictures to choose from to display at the reception.

Steve picked up the photograph, tracing his fingers over it lightly. Angie was right, he was incredibly grateful to have this moment captured for him to remember.

The picture was of him and Peggy slow dancing. They held hands tightly and had their free arms wrapped around one another, pressing their bodies as close together as they could. Their noses were nearly touching as they looked into each other’s eyes with loving expressions. Angie had captured the perfect moment just before they kissed - or would have kissed - as they were startled by the flash of the camera, which effectively ruined the moment. 

Steve suddenly felt a pair of slender arms wrap around his waist from behind, startling him slightly. He hadn’t heard Peggy come out of the bathroom or enter their bedroom. She pressed her lips gently against his back and he felt himself relax. Her lips remained in the same spot for a few moments before she removed them and nuzzled her nose into the same spot.

After a few moments she leaned her forehead against his back. He could hear her breathing become shakier and felt her body tremble ever so slightly. He frowned.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered, her voice filled with emotion.

Steve put the picture down and pulled himself away, turning around to face her.

Her wet hair was tied up in a knot in the top of her head. Steve hadn’t realized how long he had been lost in thought. Upon further inspection, he noticed that the robe she was wearing was loosely tied closed at her waist. Peggy had dropped her arms to her side and she was looking down.

Steve tilted her chin up, his heart aching at seeing the tears in her eyes. He could tell that she was apologizing profusely just with her gaze.

He leaned forward and kissed her lightly. Peggy let out a shaky sigh and tentatively put her hands on his hips. When he pulled away, he cupped her face and wiped away her tears with his thumbs.

“You can’t do anything like that again,” he told her, his voice no louder than a whisper.

“I know. I won’t,” she promised.

“We have to be a team.”

“We are.”

Steve stared at her for a few moments.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Peggy sighed.

“It’s not that I didn’t trust you… I was scared. Michael was the most important person in my life and I was scared about how I would find him. Though I was investigating it, I kept myself as distant from it as possible because I knew I wouldn’t have been able to handle it if he had chosen to be with them. How could I share something that I wasn’t ready to face myself?”

She let out a short breath.

“I acted stupidly and recklessly. My reason doesn’t excuse it. I can only hope to try and make it up to you,” she finished. 

“I’m not happy about it,” he told her.

“Rightfully so,” she agreed sadly.

“I can understand why, though,” he told her.

“What?” she asked, her voice betraying how unsure she felt.

“You went about this entirely the wrong way, but I know that one of the first things I did when I found out Bucky was alive in the future was go behind my team’s back and look for him. I know firsthand that there’s no replacing your brother.”

Peggy’s body seemed to sag in relief and she gave him a large smile - a proper one - for the first time since he had found her in the Leviathan facility. That alone was more than enough to ease his heart.

“You’re incredible,” she told him softly.

He smiled softly and kissed her forehead.

“But moving forward, we’re in this together,” he said.

“Together,” she agreed. “I’ve definitely learned my lesson. I have been so used to acting alone and making decisions by myself, that I forgot that I don’t have to anymore. And truthfully, I don’t want to. We’re a team.”

“Damn right we are,” he agreed, leaning down to kiss her properly.

Steve didn’t have the slightest desire to wait. There was no point in making them both suffer any longer. Peggy understood that she could let him in, and that was all that he wanted.

He moved his hand down to play with the bow that she had tied around her waist. He felt Peggy’s breath hitch in anticipation, and he tugged on one of the ends of the string, unravelling the bow that she had created. Her robe opened and he moved his hand to grab her waist from underneath the robe. He inhaled sharply.

She wasn’t wearing anything underneath.

This sparked a possessive instinct in him, and without removing her robe, his hand moved to her left breast and began to caress it. As his thumb traced over her nipple, he felt her whimper into his mouth. His other hand began to slide down to the front of her nearly bare body. Peggy gasped and pulled her head back as his fingers pushed past her bush and began rubbing her. Steve took advantage of this and brought his lips to her neck, his hands continuing to work her body the way he knew she liked. He felt her nails dig into his biceps, urging him to continue.

“Mine,” he growled against her neck.

“Yours,” Peggy whispered back.

Her hands began to fumble with the belt he was wearing and he couldn’t help but smile against her neck as she worked him out of the remainder of his clothing.

He helped her take off the robe, and without warning, picked her up and laid her on her back on the bed. Peggy let out a little squeak of surprise as he crawled on top of her.

There was a playful glint in her eyes as she held his gaze. Pausing for a moment, he took in her kiss-swollen lips that were smiling up at him and her flushed cheeks. She was absolutely beautiful. 

And his.

Steve kissed her deeply and slowly. Peggy’s arms slowly wound themselves around his neck, and her legs did the same around his waist, inviting him. Steve slowly slid home, eliciting a moan from both of them.

He set a slow pace and held Peggy as close as possible, intending to get cherish every moment of their proper reunion. They were both covered in a sheen layer of sweat at the end of it, clutching at each other tighter - if that was even possible. Steve pulled out and collapsed beside Peggy. She rolled onto her side to face him, and he followed suit, both of them breathing heavily, goofy smiles on their faces.

Steve stared at her for a few moments, a small pit slowly settling in his stomach

“You were almost married,” he whispered.

Peggy’s smile faltered.

“That was before I met you,” she told him. “Honestly, I’m glad you didn’t know me back then. I’m afraid to say you wouldn’t have liked me very much.”

He noted the self-deprecation in her voice and frowned.

“Bullshit,” he told her firmly.

Peggy’s eyes widened and she smiled. He always forgot how amusing and endearing she thought him swearing was.

“Captain Rogers, language please,” she chided, though there was still a smile on her face. “But I’m serious, I wasn’t the Peggy you met in the war. Though I suppose I still wasn’t the lady Fred wanted me to be, no matter how hard I tried.”

“If I had known you way back then,” he told her, his hand finding hers. “I would have loved you the same way I loved you during the war, and the same way I love you now. Exactly as you are.”

She gave him a loving smile.

“You really have improved your sweet talk since the war. If only slightly,” she teased, though he could hear the motion in her voice.

“Either way, you’re going to marry me,” he said plainly.

He watched as Peggy’s eyes filled with confusion. As if suddenly overcome with hope and anticipation, they began to light up.

“Steve Rogers, is that your way of asking me to marry you?” she asked.

He leaned in slowly until their lips were almost touching. 

“No. Not yet,” he whispered.

Peggy let out a slight noise of indignation and pulled back, smacking his shoulder.

“You’re a terrible tease,” she scolded him.

Steve laughed and pulled her closer by her waist. She rolled onto her back and he kissed her temple.

“But you love me,” he told her pointedly.

“I guess I do,” she conceded, making a show of still seeming indecisive.

He raised his eyebrow at her.

“You guess? Do I need to convince you?”

Peggy’s eyes lit up mischievously, and before she could come up with a smart remark, he kissed her. He felt her smile against his mouth and a familiar warmth filled him.

He was home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title taken from the song "Fight for Me" from Heathers: The Musical
> 
> Many thanks and even more love to Darcy.


	14. It Won't Be Long Now

**November 9th, 1949 - SSR Conference Room**

“Lieutenant Fred Wells worked in the Home Office of the British Armed Forces from the beginning of the war the early 1940’s,” Peggy began as she addressed the conference room, handing out his file to be passed around. “He was reported as MIA and presumed dead after an attack on the Home Office in 1944.”

“So we’re looking into a dead man, why?” asked Agent Peters, who was clearly annoyed that Peggy was not only leading this meeting - but the entire team of them.

Against Peggy’s wishes, Jack had added him and Agent Brown to her team, claiming that he thought she’d be the best person to “whip the two young agents into shape”. However, it went unspoken that this was her punishment for going behind his back in order to find Michael.

She hated to admit that it was a clever punishment. In their early days of working together, she and Jack had been at each other’s throats constantly. Even though he had grown up and begun to treat her as an equal, he knew damn well that those boys behaved just how he used to. Peggy had promised Jack she wouldn’t fight her punishment in exchange for the SSR housing Michael. However, the second either or both of their behaviours began to compromise her mission, she would remove them immediately, Jack be damned.

Which judging by how this meeting was going, would possibly be by the end of the week. 

Why did men always impede logic and progress simply for the sake of sticking it to her? It was annoying at the very least, and at its worst, harmed the work they were all trying to accomplish.

“A ring is easy enough to steal and can be chalked up to a petty burglary. However, since Lieutenant Wells was taken and most likely killed by Leviathan, we can assume that the most probable reason for this is because he was in possession of something that was of higher value to them.”

“And how do you know for sure it was Leviathan who attacked the Home Office?” Agent Brown challenged her.

Peggy had to work really hard to not show her irritation. She looked over at Michael, who was joining them for the first time after being cleared to be mentally fit enough to act as their Leviathan consultant. It was easy to see that their behaviour was also offending him. As much as she appreciated her brother’s indignation on her behalf, Peggy hoped that he wouldn’t cause a scene. He wasn’t used to seeing his sister openly so openly degraded by the men she worked with, and her brother’s temper rivalled their mother’s when it came to Peggy. However, she knew his interference would only serve to aggravate Peters and Brown.

“If you bothered to read the briefs I gave you, you’d know that the invasion of the Home Office fits Leviathan’s style perfectly. Now do keep up agents, I don’t have time to hold your hand through this.”

“No, I guess you’re more used to holding a man’s-”

“Agent Peters, you finish that sentence and I promise you the only thing coming of your mouth for the remainder of this operation will be you asking us for our lunch order,” Peggy said tightly.

“Yeah boys, no one cares about your crush on Carter. Get over it and pay attention,” Ramirez told him, his tone only half-joking.

“Thank you Ramirez,” she said briskly before continuing on with her briefing session.

At the end, she dispatched Ramirez, Smith and Peters to follow up on their first lead while Davis, Anderson, and Brown looked through the files that she had dug up with her brother’s help. In the meantime, Michael and Steve would help her strategize their next move against Leviathan. Once both teams returned to her with anything they found to be of worth, they would incorporate it as necessary.

When everyone except for Steve and Michael had left the conference room Peggy allowed herself to let out a heavy breath.

“Is that really how they talk to you all the time?” Michael asked immediately, sounding appalled.

“Only a few of them. Believe me it’s far better than it was at the end of the war,” she muttered, spreading out a few papers and files on the table.

She saw Michael’s face harden.

“That is bloody disgusting,” he spat. “I have half a mind to go tell them off.”

“I appreciate the concern, Michael, but there’s nothing you can do that won’t make it worse,” she told him slowly, though his growing frustration at her complacency was only serving to provoke her residual anger further.

“You should talk to that sodding Chief of yours about it.”

“It won’t change anything, so drop it Michael,” she said with a barely controlled voice.

“But that shouldn’t be the norm-”

“Well it’s normal when you’re Captain America’s _whore_ ,” she spat bitterly.

“ _Peggy_ ,” Steve snapped at her.

She tensed and looked at him apologetically. To be quite honest, she had forgotten that he was in the room with them.

“I’m sorry,” she said to him. “I know I’m not. It was never like that with Captain Rogers. But it’s what some of them still think.”

He looked at her sadly, and she could tell that the only thing keeping him from reaching out and holding her was her brother’s close proximity to them. 

Peggy still hadn’t told Michael that she and Steve were together. It wasn’t because she was actively hiding it from him. She and Steve tended to keep from showing any affection in public - at least at the SSR, and it hadn’t come up naturally in any conversation with Michael. Knowing Steve, he was following her lead and wouldn’t do anything to reveal their relationship without her telling Michael first. It was incredibly thoughtful of him, though in this moment, she half wished that he would have held her anyhow.

“I’m sorry,” Michael said, his voice now much softer than it was before.

“It’s alright, but you have to let me handle this. I’ve already convinced most of the agents here of my worth. Peters and Brown will never see reason if you go and explode at them,” she told him.

“I know, it’s just difficult to hear them speak about you like that,” he confessed.

“I don’t like it either, but I’ve dealt with worse than a couple of immature agents,” she said.

“Yes well your records have certainly made that clear,” he told her, a hint of pride in his voice.

“Michael, have you looked through my war records?” she asked him curiously.

“I have, and it’s quite impressive. Who would have thought my little sister would turn out to be such an incredible spy?”

Peggy raised her eyebrow at his tone.

“You did all along, yes, very good job Michael,” she sarcastically placated him. “Now stop being so smug about it and get to work.”

“Yes ma’am,” he said, giving her a salute.

She rolled her eyes fondly and watched as he and Steve began to create a more detailed map of the Leviathan facility in Italy using Michael’s intimate knowledge of it, and Steve’s enhanced memory capabilities. 

Their first official day working together and they seemed to be getting on well enough. At the very least, it was a better start than the one Michael had with Fred.

Smiling to herself, she walked over and joined them.

 

* * *

 

**November 11th, 1949 - SSR Bullpen**

Michael looked around the bullpen as he waited for Peggy to meet him at her desk. She was in a strategizing meeting with Grant that seemed to be running over time. 

From his angle, he could see Peggy and Grant through the windows of the conference room. They were facing each other, seemingly deep in conversation. The mood between them seemed somber. Grant’s eyes looked tired and he had his arms crossed on his chest. Peggy was looking up at him with a concerned softness that he had yet to see directed at anyone other than him.

Grant said something, and Michael watched as Peggy took a step closer to him and poked his chest gently. His hand caught hers before she had a chance to pull it away, and held it to his heart.

Michael felt a protective instinct flare in his gut. He fully expected for Peggy to forcefully retract her hand at the very least, if not reprimand him. But she didn’t move away. Instead, she stepped even closer, their bodies mere inches apart, and spoke to him. Eventually, Grant’s mouth formed a small smile, and Peggy reciprocated it. She reached up her free hand to brush a stray hair from his forehead.

There was an intimacy about their interaction that made Michael feel like an intruder to their shared moment, and a small pit settled in his stomach. Though he had lost some practice when it came to reading his sister, he had spent enough time around her lately to be fairly confident about the realization that he had just come to.

His sister was absolutely smitten with this man.

This filled him with an array of emotions that he didn’t know how to process. His first instinct was to find the first opportunity to interrogate the man alone to make sure that he knew damn well what Peggy was worth, and to dissect his intentions with her.

He allowed himself a few breaths. It was an extremely old fashioned thought, and he knew that he would never actually do it. Peggy was a grown woman capable of making her own decisions - anyone else’s opinions be damned. She didn’t need his meddling.

That didn’t make him feel any less uneasy. The last relationship of hers that he knew about had been Fred, which she herself admitted had been an ill fitted match. Rationally, he believed Peggy when she said that she now had a better understanding of love. However, her past relationships - that he was aware of - had proved she had a tendency to behave otherwise. 

Truthfully, he didn’t even know if he could ask her about it. Did he have the right? His gut said _yes_ , that he was still her brother, and they had once been as thick as thieves. But he also knew that it had been nine years since that time. He wasn’t a part of this new world that she had created for herself. How would she react to his questioning? Would it be met with fond exasperation, or would he be stepping too far out of place? With the weight of how he had come to work for Leviathan and what he had done for them pressing down their necks, he was reluctant to bring up anything that would cause the least bit of friction between them.

As Grant finally let his sister’s hand go and she took the slightest step back, Michael slowly realized that Grant always seemed to be around. Not in an imposing manner, but it wasn’t uncommon for him to be found where Peggy was. He would normally sit beside or across from her during meetings, unless she was leading them. On the few occasions that he had come up to the bullpen, he was almost always by her side at one of their desks. If Peggy was spending time with him during the evening, Grant would always come to collect her just before 7PM. Together, they would leave for a few minutes before she returned alone to spend another hour or so with him before wishing him a good night. On those nights, he had caught a glimpse of Grant outside his room as Peggy was leaving.

Grant seemed to play a heavily integrated role in Peggy’s life.

From what he had seen to this point, he supposed he had to admit that Grant wasn’t a terrible bloke. He was very active with the SSR and didn’t fear going into the field when it was called for. They had worked rather well together the last few days. He had treated him well enough from the beginning, and seemed genuine about it. There wasn’t the slight vein of arrogance that lived underneath Fred’s surface. Michael had even found that he rather enjoyed his sense of humour.

It also helped that objectively, Grant was quite handsome. Michael knew that it was a vain thought to have, but he was also well aware of how his sister turned heads every time she entered a room. At the very least she deserved someone who was on par with her in that department.

Thus far, he was stacking up to be a better man than Fred - if first impressions were the only thing he had to work off of.

Still, he hadn’t spent much - if any - time alone truly speaking to Grant. His discovery of his sister’s affections warranted that he needed to get to know this man better - if only for his own sanity.

Grant walked out of the conference room and gave him a warm smile as he approached.

“How are you today, Michael?”

“Not bad, thank you. Though I’m afraid Barnes’ incident last night did leave everyone in the safe house in quite a state.”

He watched Grant’s eyes fill with sorrow.

“Sometimes he still dissociates. It can be hard for him to separate reality from what HYDRA put him through. It can cause him to lash out and behave similarly to how he did when he was brainwashed.”

“You spend a lot of time with him, in the safe house. I gather you’re close,” Michael noted.

Grant simply nodded. Michael decided not to press further, the heavy air between them was answer enough. He couldn’t imagine how he would be if Leviathan had damaged Peggy the way HYDRA had damaged Barnes.

“He’s better than where he was a few months ago, but he still has his moments.”

“He can be a good chap when he’s not being so intentionally brash,” Michael told him.

Grant cracked a smile at that.

Michael wasn’t quite sure why he said the words that next came out of his mouth. Maybe it was him imagining Peggy in Barnes’ place, or his newfound knowledge of what the man before him meant to her, but he found himself speaking again.

“If there’s anything I can do, just let me know,” he offered.

Grant gave him a warm smile.

“Thank you,” he said sincerely.

“Don’t mention it,” he answered.

He looked up and saw Peggy standing in the doorway of the conference room, looking at the two of them. 

“I wish Barnes the best, but I’m scheduled for a meeting with Peggy now,” Michael said.

“So she said. I’ll see you later,” Grant said to him before walking off in the direction of the safe house.

Michael walked to the conference room and was greeted by his sister’s soft smile.

“Sorry about the wait,” she apologized as she closed the door behind them.

“It’s no trouble, I understand you’re quite busy, running your own team, keeping this whole place together,” he replied.

Peggy rolled her eyes but grinned at him.

“Anyhow, we’ve ended up with a healthy amount of items from Ramirez, Smith, and Peters. I figured you’d be the best person to discern what’s worth looking into first, if there’s anything at all,” she told him as she set some files and pictures on the table in front of him.

Michael began looking them over as his sister provided context for each of them. However, his mind began to wander back to the interaction he had witnessed between her and Grant. Peggy had been so openly nurturing, and comforted him with a manner that seemed practiced. He wondered just how much practice she had.

“Are you going to tell me what’s bothering you, or are you going to keep staring off into space while I talk?” Peggy asked him when she realized that he hadn’t been listening of the last two minutes.

“Sorry, it’s nothing.”

“Michael, I understand that it’s been nearly a decade, but I still know when you’re not being truthful,” she told him.

“Really now?”

“That was the same tone of voice you used when you tried to avoid telling me how you really felt about Fred,” she informed him.

Michael smiled sheepishly.

“It’s somewhat on the same topic,” he admitted.

Peggy raised her eyebrow at him.

“Do share,” she told him.

“Grant Carter,” began.

“What about him?” she asked, though her tone of voice betrayed that she knew exactly where this was going.

“You’re fond of him,” he stated.

“I’m also fond of you,” she pointed out.

“Peggy,” he said pointedly.

She held his gaze for a few moments before taking a breath, as if mentally preparing herself for what was to come.

“I’m not just fond of him, I love him,” she told him.

_Love._

“Is it that serious?” he asked, his voice betraying his slight disbelief.

“Quite. It has been for some time now,” she told him. “I didn’t tell you because I was hoping you would acclimate to your new life here a bit more before I did.”

“I appreciate the sentiment, but in order for that to have worked, you two would have needed to be less obvious,” he told her.

Instead of quipping back, Peggy formed a large smile on her face.

“Surprisingly enough, this isn’t the first time I’ve been told that.”

“And Grant’s intentions, do they match what you want?”

Peggy let out an exasperated breath, but she still kept a smile on her face.

“He intends to make an honest woman out of me. And I intend on letting him,” she informed him.

Michael raised his eyebrow and immediately searched her left hand for a ring that he had somehow failed to notice up until this point.

“Really, Michael, you’re just as bad as Barnes. We’re not engaged yet,” she chided him.

“Yet?”

“I know he’s going to ask me to marry him, but I’m not sure when. He’s convinced that I need some grand, elaborate proposal. He’s always been rather dramatic,” she told him in a fond tone.

“And you’re happy?”

“Happier than I ever thought I could be,” she confided.

Michael couldn’t detect the slightest trace of doubt in her voice. 

“Then I promise to get to know him. You’ve certainly done worse, after all,” he teased her.

Peggy playfully punched him in the shoulder.

“Shut up. Though you've tried to conceal it, I know you’re particularly picky about my romantic partners.”

“Who you choose to be with is completely up to you,” he told her. “Though I must admit that I don’t believe that there’s anyone who deserves you.”

“He’ll prove you wrong,” Peggy told him. 

“We’ll see.”

“We shall,” she promised him.

 

* * *

 

**Bucky’s Room, SSR Safehouse**

Steve walked into Bucky’s room, where he was lying unconscious on the bed. Mel was standing beside him, writing on her clipboard.

“How is he?” he asked.

She looked up from her clipboard to where he was standing in the doorway and greeted him with a tired smile.

“He was awake again just now for a little while, but wasn’t very lucid. He didn’t recognize me or even the room we’re in. But I think we can celebrate the fact that he didn’t go berserk again.”

He nodded as he listened to her intently as she continued to give him a full diagnostic of Bucky’s current condition. Partway through, she yawned.

Steve then took the time to properly examine her face and saw that the dark circles under her eyes were especially prominent at the moment.

“Sorry,” she apologized.

“How long have you been here?” he asked her.

Mel went to reply, but paused, as if she wasn’t confident in what would have been her answer.

“Uh… I think I started…” she paused again to check her watch. “30 hours ago? 32 maybe?”

“Jeez Mel, what are you still doing here?”

She sighed.

“Well Marissa called in sick, so I pulled a double, and then this happened,” she said, pointing to Bucky, “And in the madness of it all, I guess never got around to going home.”

“You should go home now then,” he told her.

She hesitated, looking over at Bucky, who was fast asleep. He seemed so peaceful. In this moment he wasn’t a broken man who was torn between two realities. He was just Bucky. He wondered if that was what she was thinking too.

“I’m worried about him too, but he’ll be okay,” he promised.

She startled slightly and looked back at him.

“Oh no - yeah, I mean, I am worried, but because he’s my patient. You know, it’s just kind of my job, so…” she cleared her throat.

He gave her a warm smile.

“You know, he’d want you to get some rest. He’s always had this weird thing when it comes to other people going out of their way to take care of him. He’s pretty prideful.”

“Don’t I know it,” she muttered.

He raised an eyebrow at her and she seemed to realize that she had spoken out loud.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that it’s just-” she cut herself off. “I don’t even know what I mean,” she admitted, rubbing her temple.

“How about you go home and get some rest?” he offered.

“My next shift starts in four hours.”

“Then go eat something and take a nap - in whatever order you like, just take care of yourself for the next four hours.”

Mel nodded slowly.

“You’re right…” she trailed off, her gaze returning to Bucky.

“I’ll look after him, and if anything happens, you’ll be the first person I grab,” he promised.

“Thank you,” she told him genuinely.

“You know… once upon a time, I waited too long to tell the girl of my dreams how I felt, and by the time I asked her out on a date, it was too late. I lost her. Now I got lucky, I got a second chance. But you don’t always get that.”

She raised her eyebrow and looked at him curiously.

“That’s a sentimental anecdote,” she commented.

“Just thinking out loud,” he said casually.

“You been talking to Peggy?”

“I usually talk to Peggy,” he shrugged.

She rolled her eyes.

“You know, for secret government agents, you two can be painfully obvious,” she told him.

He grinned at her.

“Right back at ya.”

 

* * *

 

Peggy walked in the room a few hours later. Steve looked up at her, and she gave him an apologetic look.

“Sorry it took me so long,” she said quietly to him when she had taken a seat beside him.

“I understand, you’re in very high demand,” he teased her.

“Don’t be jealous darling, I’ll always make time for you,” she quipped.

“Well thank God, I was getting so worried,” he feigned relief, putting his hand on his heart.

Peggy rolled her eyes and bumped his shoulder playfully.

“I’m glad you’re in better spirits,” she told him.

“He needs me to be strong,” Steve replied.

Peggy placed her hand on top of his thigh.

“You don’t have to be strong in front of me,” she reassured him.

Steve placed his hand on top of hers and squeezed it.

“I know,” he said, leaning down to kiss her forehead.

She smiled at him sweetly and rested her head against his shoulder. He leaned his cheek against her head and closed his eyes.

“I don’t suppose now would be an appropriate time to tell you that Michael knows about us, would it?” she asked after they sat in silence for a few minutes.

Steve pulled away to look at her properly.

“Is it a bad thing that he knows?” he asked.

She lifted her head to meet his gaze.

“Of course not. I just thought I should warn you.”

He raised an eyebrow at her.

“Why, is he planning an inquisition?”

The corners of her mouth turned upward.

“He’s actually never been too overbearing in that regard. He won’t try anything on you, don’t you fret,” she promised.

“And if he does? Will you defend my honour, Peggy?”

Peggy rolled her eyes.

“You couldn’t have your honour soiled to save your life. You’re so damn noble,” she told him. 

Steve chuckled and kissed her in response.

His ears picked up a sharp intake of breath that didn’t come from Peggy and he pulled away immediately. She let out a small noise of protest, but followed his gaze to where Bucky was now awake, staring at both of them.

He held his friend’s guarded eyes, waiting for him to say anything. It was a few moments before he spoke in a voice quiet.

“My name is James Buchanan Barnes. I was born March 10th, 1917.”

Steve nodded when Bucky looked at him with some uncertainty about his previously stated fact. This seemed to give him enough reassurance to continue.

“Your name is Steve Rogers. You were Captain America. You’re my best friend.”

“Got that right,” he said, giving him an encouraging smile. 

Bucky’s gaze shifted to Peggy. 

“You’re Agent Peggy Carter. We’re friends - I think.”

“Depends how intolerable you’re being that day,” she said in a strong teasing tone, making it clear that she was joking with him. 

To Steve’s relief, Bucky cracked a small smile at that. His therapist had told them after the first incident post-rescue that the easiest way to pull Bucky out of a “spell”, as he called it, was to use humour as the carrier on which they delivered him facts. It would soothe his panic, and be easier for him to digest the information. 

He saw Bucky’s eyes scan the room and begin to attempt to recall what he could of last night’s events. Both he and Peggy remained silent, knowing that at this stage, he needed to process everything himself.

“Mel. She was here?” he said uncertainly. 

“She was. She went to take a break,” Steve confirmed. 

“But she was here when I…” Bucky trailed off.

Steve nodded slowly. 

“Did I hurt her?”

“No,” Steve said firmly.

Bucky’s shoulders loosened slightly in relief. 

“Did I hurt anyone at all?”

“No. You just destroyed your dresser and made a few dents in the hallway walls.”

Bucky looked at his bandaged knuckles, slowly moving his fingers to test how much it would hurt. 

“Better than people,” he muttered. 

“Exactly. Besides, I always thought these walls were too smooth for my liking,” Peggy joked.

“You’re awful,” Bucky told her.

“And you’re still ever the charmer,” she said dryly.

He watched as Peggy and Bucky stared at each other with deadpan expressions until Bucky gave in and gave her a small smile, which Peggy reciprocated. No matter how hard he tried, Steve had resigned himself to the fact that he would never understand their friendship.

Bucky’s eyes shifted to where both his and Peggy’s hands were still resting on Steve’s thigh.

“You two are nauseating,” he told them. 

“You’re just jealous, punk,” Steve replied.

“Not in a million years, jerk.”

Steve smiled at him.

Bucky was definitely going to be okay.

 

* * *

 

**November 14th, 1949 - SSR Safe House**

“Come with me back to Michael’s room,” Peggy asked Steve after they had both left Bucky - who had been recovering steadily for the last few days - for the night.

Steve looked at her curiously. Normally if Peggy went back to spend time with Michael after they said goodnight to Bucky, she would do so alone, and he would meet her later so they could walk home together.

“What’s the occasion?”

“If we’re going to be hosting both him and Barnes for Thanksgiving, I want you to start getting to know him properly. More than just brief conversations in the hallway or during our Leviathan meetings.”

“But Bucky isn’t invited?” he joked.

“I’m certain that they both get enough contact with each other just living in the safe house. It’s a miracle they’ve tolerated each other thus far,” she told him. “Besides, I care less if Barnes gets along with him than if you do.”

He sensed a slight nervous tinge in her voice and he stopped walking, placing his hand on her arm to stall her as well. 

“Hey, I know that this means a lot to you. I’ll do my best to get him to like me,” he promised.

“He will like you,” she said firmly. “It’s just that the last time I introduced him to one of my sweethearts, it went abysmally.”

Steve couldn’t help but smile a bit.

“No need to be so smug,” she chastised him lightly.

“I didn’t say anything,” he pointed out.

“You didn’t have to,” she said before continuing down the hallway to Michael’s room.

He followed her and let her knock on the door, following her in when Michael gave them the go ahead.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” he asked them, greeting his sister with a kiss on the cheek.

“I’m ensuring that you keep your promise,” she responded.

Steve didn’t know what promise she meant, but when her brother’s eyes flicked over to him briefly, he was confident he could guess what it was.

“Very well, Peg,” he agreed, taking a seat on the bed as Peggy moved two chairs to face him.

She motioned for Steve to take a seat beside her, which he dutifully obliged. When he was settled, Peggy began to rummage through her large purse.

“Now, in honour of your first week living here, safely away from Leviathan, I brought us something to celebrate,” she said, pulling out a bottle of whiskey.

Michael raised his eyebrow at her, though he was clearly amused.

“I thought champagne was usually the drink of celebration,” he commented.

“I didn’t have any at home and no time to stop and buy some. I figured this could work well enough,” she explained, producing a few glasses from her purse as well.

Truthfully, Steve was impressed with her packing skills. Though her purse was large, he wouldn’t have guessed that it was capable of holding that much. He snuck a peak and saw that she had shoved one of his sweaters in there to conceal everything and cushion the glass items so they wouldn’t knock against each other and make any noise.

Peggy poured them each a bit of whiskey in their glasses. Peggy raised her glass, and Michael and Steve followed suit.

“To happy reunions,” she toasted. 

“To happy reunions,” they echoed before they all took a drink. 

Peggy initiated a conversation between them, and Steve soon found himself genuinely enjoying Michael’s presence outside of Leviathan based conversations or general pleasantries. He could tell that sharp wit ran in the family. Occasionally, Michael would pull out a seemingly random anecdote about Peggy or bring up something relating to her work with the SSR. After the third time it happened, Steve couldn’t help but wonder if it was Michael’s subtle way of testing him.

If it was, he could only hope that he was passing.

Peggy made a face when she finished her drink. Without a word, Steve refilled her glass. She smiled gratefully at him and kissed his cheek. He then looked at Michael inquisitively, who nodded at his silent question. Steve topped Michael’s drink off before doing the same to his own.

He could feel Michael looking at him pensively for a few moments before he turned to Peggy.

“What do you say Peg, shall we slug em back?”

Peggy shot him an amused look. 

“Feeling sentimental, are we?” she teased.

“Lucky is the word I’d use,” he said.

“Luck is what you’ll need in order to win,” she informed him.

“You’re very confident considering it’s been almost ten years since you’ve beaten me,” he told her.

“And you haven’t beat me since I was 19. Who would you say has the upperhand here?” she goaded him on. “I’m still reigning champion.”

“Not for long,” he challenged. 

There was a familiar fire in Peggy’s eyes. As ready as Michael was to face Peggy, Steve had an inkling the result of the rematch wouldn’t be what he was hoping for.

“Three,” Peggy began.

“Two,” Michael followed.

“One,” they said unison.

Steve watched as both Peggy and Michael threw back their drinks, Peggy finishing hers a split second before Michael. 

“Reigning champion,” she repeated pointedly at her brother, lifting her glass victoriously.

She looked at Steve, her eyes lit with triumph.

“I’m very proud of you, dear. By far your greatest accomplishment,” he told her seriously.

“I’m so glad you agree, darling,” she responded.

He held Peggy’s gaze as she began to smile. His mouth followed suit, both of their smiles growing until they were grinning from ear to ear.

When Steve turned his eyes away from Peggy’s he found Michael looking at him intensely. After holding his gaze for a few moments, Michael gave him a very small nod. Steve couldn’t help but feel as though this had been another test - and that he had passed. 

The three of them drank together for the next few hours. Michael was quick to ask his sister for a rematch, but when he lost again, he was suddenly disinterested in their game, though Peggy relentlessly egged him on for a third go.

Eventually, when she let out an involuntary yawn, Steve gathered their glasses and the nearly empty whiskey bottle and packed them back into her purse - though there was a bit of protest from her and Michael. They began to whisper to each other in a conspiratorial fashion. With his enhanced hearing, he was able to make out their conversation, and he couldn’t help but smile in amusement.

If they weren’t drunk, they were at the very least, definitely tipsy. He wasn’t surprised, considering how much they had drunk in a relatively short amount of time. He realized that he hadn’t seen Peggy drink this much in years - and even then it was just the one time.

He offered Peggy his hand to help steady her as she stood. She gave him a pointed look but accepted his hand. He then grabbed her jacket and held it up so that she could easily slide her arms through their proper armholes.

“Darling, I’m sure if you took a break from being a perfect gentleman for one night the world would remain intact,” she teased him, though she allowed him to help her put on her jacket.

“Can’t risk it,” he quipped, kissing her forehead lightly.

She reached up to pull him down by the back of his neck, and kissed him. Being very aware of Michael directly in front of them, he pulled away immediately. Peggy gave him a pointed look and dropped her hands to her side.

“He’s my brother, not the Pope. You’re allowed to kiss me,” she told him.

He let out a slightly nervous laugh and rubbed the back of his neck before kissing her cheek chastely.

“You’re hopeless, darling,” she told him, before patting his cheek twice gently. “Shall we?”

He gave her a small soft smile, but before he could respond, Michael interrupted him.

“Grant, could I have a word before you go?”

Steve paused, but nodded. Peggy gave her brother a meaningful look and bid him goodnight. She offered Steve a reassuring smile and grabbed her purse before leaving the room to give them their privacy.

“Before I begin, you must know that I understand that Peggy is an incredibly capable woman who does not need my approval on anything. Regardless of my opinion, she will do as she pleases, as is her right.”

Steve smiled knowingly in spite of himself.

“Nevertheless, I am still entitled to my opinion,” Michael continued.

“As is your right,” Steve agreed.

“For all that I’ve tried - and believe me, I’ve tried - I haven’t discovered anything that I would consider to be even close to damning. That is to say, you’re a good man, Grant. You know who Peggy truly is and instead of trying to change her, you celebrate and support her.”

“She’s an amazing woman,” Steve said.

“And you make her very happy. Now, I still don’t believe that anyone can ever truly deserve her, but I think you come closer to it than anyone ever has.”

The relief that he felt at Michael’s words flooded over him with such a rush that he was almost surprised by it.

“I try to,” was all he could say.

“Well keep up the good work,” Michael half-joked. “Goodnight, Grant.”

“Goodnight, Michael,” Steve replied.

They shared a kind smile before Steve left the room.

Peggy was leaning against the wall beside the door.

“Well?” she asked when the door had closed behind him.

“Seal of approval,” he told her proudly.

Peggy smiled widely, instantly radiating with happiness.

“I told you,” she said cheekily.

“You did,” he agreed.

Steve leaned down and kissed her properly. He felt her smile against his lips as she wound her arms around his neck. He placed his hands on her waist.

Eventually and very reluctantly, he forced himself to pull away.

“Let’s go home,” he whispered. 

Instead of responding, she simply looked at him, as though she was trying to read something behind his eyes.

“Peggy?” he prompted when she hadn’t moved or spoken in a few moments.

“Are you happy?” she asked him. 

Steve furrowed his eyebrows.

“What?”

“Be honest. Are you happy?”

“Peggy, of course I’m happy. How could you think otherwise?” he asked her gently.

“You had this whole other life before you came back. You had people that you care about and you were protecting the world with them. You gave it all up to be here. To be with me.”

Steve took a step forward and held her hands in his.

“My whole life, I’ve only ever dreamed of two things: to help people, and to have a family with the girl of my dreams. I gave up on the second one the moment I made the decision to crash the Valkyrie. No matter how hard I tried afterward, I could never connect with anyone the way I had connected with you. I was a man in the wrong time, with an entire life behind me that I would never live. But then I got a second chance. Now I get to have everything I ever wanted, and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.”

Peggy let out a short breathy laugh and smiled up at him.

“If this is only a love declaration, I’m not sure I’m ready to hear what poetics you’ll produce for your proposal,” she said in an attempt to tease, but her shaky voice only conveyed adoration.

“I know. The longer I wait, the grander I’ll have to make it to outdo myself,” he joked softly.

“You could always propose tonight. Save yourself the trouble of having to top whatever you come up with between now and then,” she offered.

“Not while you’re drunk, dear,” he said fondly, tucking a hair behind her ear.

Peggy smiled lovingly at him.

“I love it when you call me that.”

“Is that so, dear?” he said softly, eliciting a smile from Peggy.

“Mhmmm,” she hummed. “And you know I’m only teasing about the proposal. Surprise me. I don’t care how long it takes, it doesn’t change the fact that I’m spending the rest of my life with you,” she promised him.

Steve grinned and kissed her deeply, leaning her back against the wall. As Peggy ran her hands through his hair, his mind couldn’t help but wander to the ring box he was carrying in his inside jacket pocket.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title taken from the song "It Won't Be Long Now" from In the Heights. This song is one of my favourite 'I Want' songs ever, and has an entire verse that talks shit about catcalling. What more do you need, really?


	15. Family Matters

**** **November 24th, 1949 - Peggy Carter and Steve Rogers’ Apartment, Brooklyn, NY**

Peggy sighed as she opened the front door again.

Nothing.

She closed the door.

Checking her watch for the umpteenth time that night just proved that time was still moving as slow as it had been for the last two hours. She had easily lost count of how many times she had checked it within an hour and forty minutes ago. 

She decided to keep the door unlocked, just in case. 

“Shouldn’t they be here by now?” Peggy asked Steve as she walked back into the kitchen.

Steve looked up at her from where he was checking on the gravy.

“Jack said between 7-7:30pm,” he reminded her.

“It’s 7:24pm,” she informed him.

“Not 7:30pm,” he countered.

“Yes, but what if something happened?”

“The likelihood that something happened to both of their separate cars is highly unlikely,” he reasoned.

“But it could still happen. We should have been the ones to go with them,” she repented.

“Then there wouldn’t be anyone to meet them here.”

“Steve-”

“Peggy,” he interrupted, giving her a pointed look.

She met his gaze for a few moments before conceding.

“I’m sorry, I suppose I’m just nervous,” she sighed.

It was the truth. Though Jack had agreed to allowing Michael and Barnes to spend Thanksgiving dinner with her and Steve outside of the safe house, he stipulated that they had to be escorted there separately by different teams. He cited that it was imperative that they had them at the point of drop-off so that they could affirm to the SSR that they had arrived safely. If they didn’t arrive in their designated window of time, then Peggy and Steve would be the first to know that something had happened to them, and would be able to respond immediately.

Peggy wasn’t reluctant about it because it was a bad plan, she was reluctant because she didn’t want to wait until things went horribly wrong before she fixed it. If something happened, she wanted to be present when it did so that she could do everything in her power to protect her brother. She had only just gotten him back, and she wasn’t planning on losing him ever again.

Add to that the normal stressors that were involved with hosting her brother and Barnes for a ‘family’ dinner for a holiday that she hadn’t really ever celebrated, and she now had a perfect recipe for her current state of anxiety.

“When they get here you’ll see that it’s all gone smoothly, and you’ll be able to relax,” he promised her.

“When have you ever known things to go smoothly for us?” she countered.

He turned off the burner for the gravy before stepping over to her.

“When I first came back, I think that went well,” he offered.

Peggy raised her eyebrow at him.

“I pointed a gun at you, darling,” she reminded him gently.

“But you didn’t shoot,” he countered.

Peggy found herself reluctantly matching Steve’s fond smile.

“No, I didn’t,” she agreed.

Steve tucked her hair behind her ear, and Peggy instinctively leaned into the touch.

“Our first night out together,” he continued. “I got to dance with you all night long.”

“It was definitely worth the wait,” she told him softly.

“Then I got to take you home and make love to you,” he said, voice low and quiet.

Peggy allowed Steve to pull her closer by her hips.

“Say more nice things,” she whispered, tilting her head up to brush her nose against his.

“That night - and every night since - is living proof that no fantasy could have ever prepared me for what that would actually be like.”

Peggy couldn’t help the curiosity that she felt.

“You fantasize about me?”

He nodded.

“What would you think about?” she asked.

“God, everything, Peggy.”

“Be specific,” she ordered him gently.

“Your eyes - the way you look at me. Your lips. They’re pure temptation no matter where we are. Just to name a few, but I’ll go on if you want me to,” he said, his voice barely above a murmur. 

Peggy felt her heart beating faster at his words. Slowly, she leaned up to kiss him. When her lips were a breath’s away from his, she paused and whispered.

“Our guests will be here soon.”

Steve made a noise of protest as she pulled away, and Peggy had to bite back a giggle at seeing his tortured face as she pulled away.

“Now who’s a tease?” he groaned.

He reached for her and she stepped back. 

“Now darling, do attempt to exercise some self control,” she chided him lightly. “If not, I’ll have to keep away from you all night.”

It was a hollow threat, but she also wasn’t particularly interested in the comments and stares that would result from being any more physically intimate than they usually were in front of Barnes and her brother.

“And if I catch you?”

She noticed a playful glint appear in his eyes, and his smile slowly gave way to a mischievous smirk. Realizing his intentions to find out the answer to his question, she took a step back at the same time he reached for her. She gave him a smug smile, her eyes sparkling, as though she was daring him. 

“I’d like to see you try,” she challenged.

His grin was all the answer she needed. The next moment, she was running into the dining room, and he quickly followed suit. Both of them laughed as they awkwardly maneuvered around the cramped area.

Peggy rounded the corner out of the little nook, and had to make a split second decision of where to go. She could either go into their bedroom and be trapped (she tried to ignore how appealing that idea sounded), or she could try to maneuver around their living room furniture.

Wanting to keep the thrill of the chase going, Peggy ducked into their living area and ranaround the arm chair. Realizing that she wouldn’t have time to go all the way around the rest of their furniture, she stepped up onto the coffee table and used the momentum of the move to jump over the couch.

When she was halfway to her goal, she felt a strong arm wrap itself around her waist. She let out a squeal as she landed on the couch facing up. Not even a half a second later, Steve landed on top of her, his one arm still holding her while his other hand supported his upper body so that he was hovering over her slightly. They both breathed heavily, looking at each other for a moment before they burst into laughter.

As soon as both of their laughter subsided, Steve leaned down and kissed her deeply. Peggy tangled a hand in his hair, the other reaching up to hold his bicep. His arm around her waist tightened its hold.

Someone wolf-whistled, and they immediately jumped apart. However, due to the small size of their couch, Steve lost his balance as he tried to separate himself from Peggy, and fell onto the ground, nearly taking Peggy with him as his arm untangled itself from her waist.

Peggy heard Barnes laugh, and she sat up and turned to face him, ready to berate him to no end. However, she saw her brother standing beside him, and she closed her mouth. She felt her cheeks heat up, and she tried to discreetly wipe away any lipstick that might have transferred to the surrounding area of her mouth, though she knew that every part of her must look askew at the moment. 

By the time she had accomplished that task, Steve had stood up. She couldn’t help but notice that parts of his hair were still sticking up and that he had lipstick on and around his mouth. It was quite the sight, and regardless of the situation, she couldn’t help but feel smug about it. He offered her his hand to help her stand and she accepted it. She reached up and began to smooth out his hair. Barnes made a cooing sound at their exchange, and she shot him a death glare.

“Didn’t your mother ever teach you that it’s rude to stare?” she asked him.

“Guess not. She must’ve been too busy teaching me to lock the front door,” he replied cheekily.

Peggy gave him a hard look, but otherwise chose to ignore him. She adjusted her dress before walking over to greet her brother, who gave her a pointed look. She wasn’t certain whether it was meant to convey shock or his protectiveness over her. Most likely, both. Peggy decided to not to comment on it and gave him (a rather awkward) hug.

“What, nothing for me? Not even a kiss on the cheek?” Barnes asked, feigning offence. 

“Since when do you care how I greet you?” she quipped. 

“Come on Carter, it’s Thanksgiving. I’m feeling sentimental,” he teased her. 

Before she could retort, he wrapped an arm around her waist and placed a wet, sloppy kiss on her cheek.

“I hate you,” she told him when he released her.

“You definitely don’t, Carter,” he corrected her before turning to Steve. “Hey punk, you got a little something right there,” he told him, motioning with his finger to his mouth and chin.

“I still look better than you do, jerk,” Steve said, reaching into his pocket for a handkerchief to wipe it off.

“Nah, red’s not your colour. I’d recommend a soft pink. It’s a lot more flattering,” Barnes quipped.

“Isn’t that the shade that Mel wears?” Steve noted aloud.

Peggy couldn’t help but grin at the sputtering sound that Barnes made. He muttered something indiscernible, and Peggy decided it was the perfect moment to send him and Michael off to the dining table while she and Steve brought over the food.

“I don’t think that earned me any points with your brother,” Steve murmured quietly to her as he grabbed the turkey.

“It certainly didn’t,” Peggy agreed. “However, you did earn some with me, and I should think that counts for something,” she joked.

“Does this mean there’s a possibility for extra credit tonight?” he asked teasingly.

“Behave for the rest of the night and we’ll see,” she told him. 

Peggy winked at him and walked to the dining table, Steve following behind her. She set down the mashed potatoes and vegetables, then went back to grab the gravy as he set the turkey down. Steve took a seat beside Bucky.

“Shall we say grace?” Michael asked as soon as Peggy was seated beside him, across from Steve.

Peggy looked at her brother, slightly taken aback by the question before she agreed.

“Yes, of course.”

“Would you like to do the honours?” he asked her.

“You can do it,” she said.

Thankfully, he didn’t pick up on her evasive tone. 

Peggy hadn’t believed in God, let alone prayed since the war. Though they were both raised as dutiful Christians from the moment they were born, Michael had always had a stronger connection to the religion than she did.

Her faith had been sorely shaken after she had lost her brother. She kept it up the best she could, if nothing else so that she could feel closer to him, as he had always used prayer as a means to comfort her when they were children. However, the remnants of her faith had been slowly chipped away at as she faced battle after battle. 

The final blow had been losing Steve. It wasn’t possible that there could be a divine higher power who let someone as good as Steve die while people like Werner Reinhardt lived on.

And if there was a higher power who was allowing this all to happen, she didn’t care to devote any more of her time to them.

“What do you say Peg, one of your old favourites?” 

Peggy gave him a small smile. 

“Whichever you like, Michael,” she told him.

He took her hand in his, and she offered her other hand to Steve, who accepted it without a word. Bucky looked between the three of them strangely before accepting Steve’s free hand.

“O God, you made us in your own image and redeemed us

through Jesus your Son: Look with compassion on the whole

human family; take away the arrogance and hatred which

infect our hearts; break down the walls that separate us;

unite us in bonds of love; and work through our struggle and

confusion to accomplish your purposes on earth; that, in

your good time, all nations and races may serve you in

harmony around your heavenly throne; through Jesus Christ

our Lord. Amen.”

“Amen,” the other three repeated quietly.

They separated their hands, and Steve spoke up.

“Before we begin. I have some things that I want to give thanks for.”

“Awe, you about to get sentimental on us?” Barnes teased him.

“Yeah, go grab some tissues in case you decide to grow a heart,” Steve quipped.

Barnes chuckled and conceded, motioning for Steve to continue.

“The past few years have been difficult, for many reasons. There have been many good things, of course, but I’ve lost more people than I care to think about.”

Under the table, Peggy brushed her leg against Steve’s, trying to convey that she was there, and he wasn’t alone. 

“A few months ago, I took a leap of faith and made the decision to start over. And because of that, I have my best friend and my best girl back. It’s the luckiest I’ve ever been, and I thank God every day that I’ve been given this second life.”

Peggy smiled at him lovingly. It was everything she could do not to lean over the table and kiss him right there. For a moment, she thought that he looked as though he was going to continue, but seemed to decide against it.

“Well, I’d like to go next, if that’s alright,” Michael spoke up. “I would like to give thanks that for the first time in nearly a decade, I am free - aside from the modified house arrest of course.”

Peggy noticed that Barnes cracked a smile at that statement. If anyone understood Michael’s living situation, it was him.

“Though it’s not under the perfect setting - I’m sorry but I never did have much affinity for America - I am more than incredibly grateful to be reunited with my sister,” he said before turning to Peggy. “You mean the world to me Peg, and having you back has been… I had lost hope of it ever happening.”

She blinked back her tears and gave Michael a gentle smile. He wrapped his arm around her to give her a side hug. 

“I’m grateful I’m not brainwashed and being used as a weapon for evil. That really put a damper on the last four years,” Bucky chimed in casually. 

Peggy didn’t blame him for his nonchalance. After going through the trauma he had and still being able to indulge in humour, she knew that Barnes was one of the most resilient people she knew.

“And since everyone’s said it, grateful to see Peggy again,” he teased her before turning to Steve. “You too, pal,” he added in a soft voice.

He looked at Peggy pointedly, and she matched it. Looking to Michael and then Steve, she took a breath, unsure of what to say. All of a sudden there were too many things to be grateful for, and she didn’t know where to begin.

“Being English, I’ve never really celebrated Thanksgiving, even while living here. The only time I did was in 1944, when I was with the Howling Commandos on a mission in Slovenia, and the lot of them decided that Dernier and I needed to become acquainted with the holiday. Of course it wasn’t anywhere near the same. It was freezing and we were living off of war rations. So naturally, I didn’t have much of a burning desire to put on my own celebration for the holiday after that.”

She saw both Steve and Barnes smile fondly at the memory, and she reciprocated.

“Last year wasn’t any different. Except that last year, I still believed that I had lost all of you. Having you all here with me, right now about to eat dinner together… I don’t think there are words that can express how grateful I am to have you all back.”

She cleared her throat and blinked her eyes a few times in rapid succession, forcing her tears to retreat. She felt Michael put a hand on her leg and she shared a small smile with him.

“Yes well, we’re all grateful that we’re all here, and the food isn’t getting any warmer. Let’s eat,” she told them.

Barnes began to serve himself while Michael began to carve the turkey. Peggy looked up at Steve when she felt his eyes on her.

“I love you,” he mouthed at her.

She smiled warmly at him and mouthed it back. His leg brushed against hers, and she knew he was trying to reciprocate her earlier intention. Peggy looked around the table at the three ghosts who she was sharing her meal with. 

Maybe she would have to reevaluate her belief system again. After all, in the last few months she had borne witness to three resurrections - all of them good men. Perhaps it wasn’t so far fetched that such a deity existed - and that they were also good.

 

* * *

 

They gathered in the living room after dinner. Barnes and Steve were leaned over their record collection, the former guessing which ones belonged to Peggy and which ones were Steve’s. Peggy sat on the couch with Michael, discussing the latest book they’d both been reading.

“Hey, is there dessert?” Barnes asked abruptly, interrupting her conversation just as she had started to show her brother books from her collection that she thought he’d like.

“Are you hungry again already?” Peggy asked incredulously.

“Steve wasn’t the only one who got an enhanced metabolism from the war,” he replied plainly. “Look, I’ll even help you serve it.”

“Oh alright,” Peggy conceded, knowing very well when to pick her battles with him.

They walked to the kitchen and she took the pumpkin pie out of the fridge.

“You must really be hungry to be helping serve it,” she commented.

“Hey, Steve’s not the only gentleman around here,” he quipped.

Peggy chuckled lightly.

“If you say so, Barnes,” she told him.

“Why do you call me Barnes and not Bucky?” he asked as he began to cut the pie.

She paused in the middle of grabbing plates to consider the question.

“I suppose for the same reason that you call me Carter and not Peggy.”

“You also have an aversion to nicknames ending in ‘Y’,” he agreed.

Peggy gave him an incredulous look, but found herself laughing at his joke.

“I don’t know,” she said. “We all went by our surnames during the war, and then I suppose the two of us never fell out of it with each other.”

“You can call me Bucky,” he told her. “In case you want to fall out of it.”

She gave him a soft smile.

“You can call me Peggy,” she offered back.

He smiled at her mischievously, and she wanted to ask what the look meant, but she resisted the temptation, lest she break his good humour. She had come to learn that if he wanted to tell her something, he would.

Most of the time.

 

* * *

 

Though no one wanted the night to end, their curfew was rapidly approaching. Steve prepared to drive Bucky back first. Peggy would leave 10 minutes later with Michael and take a separate route.

“I’ll see you soon,” Steve promised before kissing her chastely.

He pulled away far too soon for Peggy’s liking, but she let him go without a word of protest.

Bucky approached her from the other side and gave her another sloppy kiss to her cheek before she realized his intentions and prevent it.

“Bloody hell, Bucky,” she muttered.

“You love me,” he said cheekily.

“You’re lucky _Grant_ loves you,” she corrected, wiping his spit off her cheek.

Barnes chuckled and gave her a wink.

“I’ll wear you down eventually, Peggy.”

“I’d save that charm for Mel. It would spare us having to spend hours watching you two dance around each other.”

“I had to live with this,” he said, gesturing between her and Steve. “For two years. I’ll take as much time as I damn please.”

“Word of advice,” Steve interrupted their banter. “It’s much more satisfying to flirt when you’re allowed to kiss her in the end.”

As if to prove his point, he leaned down and kissed Peggy deeply, if briefly.

Both Peggy and Bucky raised their eyebrows at him. Bucky due to his amusement, and Peggy because Steve had yet to go farther than brushing their lips together in her brother’s presence.

“Now come on, we gotta go, punk,” Steve said to him.

Stomach still filled with butterflies, Peggy watched Steve leave with Bucky.

“He really loves you,” Michael said once the door was closed behind them.

Peggy turned away from the door to face him.

“I’m well aware,” she replied, though she found she wasn’t able to get rid of the goofy smile on her face.

“I mean it, Peg,” Michael insisted.

“So do I,” she agreed.

She noticed him looking at her strangely, and her smile faltered.

“Michael, what is it?”

“Nothing it’s just… you’ve truly grown up.”

“I was a grown woman before we were separated,” she pointed out.

“I know, but the war changed everything for us. You became the woman I knew you were always destined to be, and I am so proud of you. I know I’ve been saying it often, but I will never mean it less. I am incredibly excited to see you have the life you deserve.”

Peggy gave him a watery smile, taken aback by his sudden declaration.

“This is all rather sentimental, isn’t it?” she said through her tears.

“I suppose we can blame the holidays,” he said.

“If you’re like this during a holiday you’ve never even celebrated before today, I can’t possibly imagine what you’ll be like at Christmas,” she teased him.

Michael rolled his eyes, though there was also a teasing glint in his eyes.

 

* * *

 

“Did you ever believe in happily ever after?” Bucky asked Steve in the car.

“What do you mean?”

“You know, we grew up with our folks telling us fairytales and stories that always had happy endings. How much did you believe it could happen to you?”

“Considering we grew up in the Depression and then fought in the second World War, I think it was more of a distraction than a belief system,” Steve said.

“Are you saying that you, the living representation of this nation’s hope, never thought that you’d get the happy ending? Not even the ‘return from war, find a wife and have kids’ dream?”

Steve shrugged.

“I was 5’4” with a million ailments for most of my life. The likelihood to be noticed by someone for more than 5 seconds was slim to none. When I got the serum, I was fighting a war, there was no time to think past the day. In the future, it was a lot of the same, and the rest was clouded by generational differences.”

“And what about now?”

“I’ll let you know after tonight.”

 

* * *

 

After dropping off Michael at the safe house, Peggy made her way back to her apartment. As she approached the door, she swore she could hear music coming from the other side. She turned the key in the lock and opened the door, gasping audibly at the sight before her.

The living room was lit only by candles, and Steve was standing in the centre.

“Darling, what is all this?” she asked as she closed the door behind her.

“I was feeling spontaneous.”

Peggy raised her eyebrow at him.

“Spontaneous?”

“Can’t a fella just light some candles and ask his best girl for a dance?”

“You haven’t technically asked yet,” she teased.

Steve rolled his eyes fondly and offered her his hand.

“Peggy, my dear, may I have this dance?” he asked.

“You most certainly may,” she said.

She gladly accepted his hand, letting him pull her close. He leaned his forehead against hers as they began to sway. Peggy hummed along softly to the tune, feeling her body slowly melt away the stress and near emotional rollercoaster that it had gone through in the last few hours.

Maybe he had known that this was what she needed.

“Do you remember the day we met?” he asked her quietly.

“I certainly do.”

“I thought you were the most beautiful dame I ever saw.”

“You do realize that you don’t need to flatter me anymore, my darling. You already have me,” she teased.

“First of all, you deserve to be flattered every day. And secondly, I mean it. You came up and knocked the wind right out of my lungs.”

“And you’re certain it wasn’t the asthma?”

Steve pulled back.

“Are you purposefully trying to ruin the moment?” he asked.

“No, sorry,” she said sheepishly.

Peggy rested her head against his shoulder, nuzzling her nose into his neck.

“Tell me more,” she asked quietly.

He leaned his cheek against her head and she closed her eyes. They swayed for a few more moments before he spoke again.

“Honestly, Peggy, I have thought of a million different things that I could say to you, but none of them ever felt quite right, or good enough. I’ve always been more of a visual artist. 

But being here in this moment with you now - dancing, holding you close, everything - it’s all I need. And that is - it perfectly describes what you mean to me.

In the future, I kept my compass with me long after it stopped working. Just your picture was enough to point me in the right direction, to keep me sane. Even after I thought I’d lost you, you were still guiding me. You’ve always been my light in the dark, my North Star, my home. I never want to know what it’s like to be without you again.”

Peggy’s eyes snapped open in realization, and she pulled her head back to look at him.

_Is he actually doing it? Is this really it?_

He was looking at her lovingly, his mouth forming a soft smile. There was no trace of doubt in his entire demeanour. 

“Every day you make me feeling safe, loved, _happy_. Those are things I’d never thought I’d be able to feel for any prolonged period of time, with anyone. You’re picky about who you open your heart to, my dear, but when you let someone in, you are the most loyal and loving person that I know, and I am honoured to be one of those people you’ve chosen. I promise to never take that for granted - take you for granted.”

Her heart began beating wildly in her chest. She waited in joyous anticipation. 

Still holding her hand, he knelt down on one knee and produced a ring box from his pocket. Peggy felt her eyes fill with tears when he opened it, revealing a simple, but elegant ring.

“Margaret Elizabeth Carter, will you marry me?”

Peggy gave him a watery grin and nodded fervently.

“Yes. Yes, my darling. Of course I’ll marry you,” she all but exclaimed happily.

Steve’s mouth broke into a wide smile. In a moment, he was on his feet, kissing her passionately. Peggy wrapped her arms around his neck as his wound themselves around her waist. He lifted her up so that her feet were off the ground and she let out a laugh against his mouth.

Eventually, he lowered her back to the ground and pulled back to look at her. Peggy moved her hands to cup his face, stroking his cheeks tenderly. Steve was positively radiating joy. He looked as happy as she felt. She wanted to memorize every part of this moment, of him. 

He grabbed her left hand, and she watched as he clumsily slid the ring on her finger, grinning from ear to ear. The second he turned his head back to face her, she captured his lips in a deep kiss.

“It certainly took you long enough,” she teased him after they pulled away.

“Better late than never,” he told her.

Before she could reply, he spun her into him, causing her to laugh. He immediately put his hand on the small of her back and began to sway them. Peggy tilted her head up and nuzzled their noses together.

After the slow song ended, a more uptempo one began to play on the record. 

“May I have the next dance, my dear?” he asked.

“For the rest of our lives, my darling,” she replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The prayer Michael recites is from the Book of Common Prayer. It's the prayer for the human family.
> 
> Little anecdote: In my mind, Peggy and Steve have talked about religion. He's cool with her not being religious, and she's cool with him being Catholic.
> 
> This was definitely one of my fave chapter to write. Enjoy!


	16. Promises You Made to Me

**November 30th, 1949 - Peggy Carter and Steve Rogers’ Apartment, Brooklyn, NY**

Steve was on cloud nine.

Maybe that was being dramatic - as Peggy sometimes liked to call him - but every time he caught a glimpse of her proudly wearing her engagement ring, his heart would race and he couldn’t help the goofy smile that would form on his face.

He couldn’t remember the last time that he had felt so genuinely happy, or allowed himself to continuously indulge in the thought of a proper future where he wasn’t always on the run or fighting the next enemy.

When Bucky had asked him less than a week ago if he believed in happily ever after, he had been uncertain. It wasn’t that he was expecting Peggy to say no - she had told him many times that her answer would be yes. It was just difficult for him to let himself imagine the dream that had once been so far out of reach as his reality. Needless to say, Steve was ready for his happily ever after.

At least, what would be his and Peggy’s version of a happily ever after.

Working for a secret government intelligence agency that was on the verge of being absorbed by another one that had been founded by his fiancée ( _fiancée_ , he repeated excitedly in his mind) came with its own series of complications. Not to mention their close proximity to Bucky and Michael, who both had recently severed ties (to put it nicely) with two separate organizations that seemed hellbent on continuing their plots against them.

Yet, regardless of all of that, he and Peggy still made time for domesticity in their lives. Of all things, Steve still couldn’t get over the fact that the word _domestic_ was in his daily repertoire, or that Peggy’s name was normally the word that would accompany it.

Steve looked up from where he had long since finished the novel in his hands and took a proper look at Peggy. She was sitting with her legs tucked under her on one end of the couch reading, with his feet just brushing her leg as he leaned back on the arm rest of the opposite side of the couch.

Steve poked her leg with his foot.

“Yes, darling?” she asked, eyes not leaving the book she was reading.

“You almost done with that?” he asked.

“You know very well I’ve hardly just began. You’ll have to wait your turn.”

“You’ve had it for a week,” he pointed out.

“And you had eleven years in the future to read it,” she countered.

Though her quip made him want to laugh, Steve pouted.

“Stop making that face,” she told him.

“You’re not even looking at me.”

“I don’t have to, I know you,” she said.

Steve smiled at that.

“Yeah, you do,” he replied softly.

Something in his tone prompted Peggy to look up at him. She was smiling softly. Not for the first time that day, he noticed her eyes flicker to her engagement ring, causing her smile to grow.

“I think I have a solution to our dilemma,” she told him.

“Is that so?” he asked.

“Mmhmm,” she hummed. 

She patted his legs so that he would open them wider. He raised his eyebrow at her as she placed herself between them, her back against his chest. Steve immediately wrapped his arms around her waist.

“Not that I’m not enjoying this, dear, but how exactly does this solve anything?” he asked, nuzzling his nose into her hair.

“Hush,” she chided him as she settled back against him into a more comfortable position.

Steve kissed her temple, eliciting a smile from her while she flipped back to first page of the novel. Her intention became clear when she began reading aloud from the book. He couldn’t help but hold her tighter.

As she turned the first page, her ring caught the light. Steve found himself staring at it. It still felt like a dream - their engagement, their relationship, everything about her, really.

However, sometimes it was hard for him to think about how happy he was now without the sadness that he had lived through.

The years when he thought he lost everyone he had once known.

When he thought he had lost her.

He shut his eyes tightly and focused on the sound of Peggy’s voice, even if he couldn’t quite register the words she was saying. Steve breathed in deeply, reminding himself that she was here. She was young, healthy, and _alive_. And she was reading him a novel just because he pouted about having to wait his turn.

Steve hadn’t realized just how tight his grip had gotten until Peggy turned her head back to look at him with concern.

“Darling, is everything alright?” she asked.

“Yeah. I’m just… I’m really happy you said yes,” he told her, his voice coming out more hoarse than he would have liked.

The look in her eyes gave away that she knew there was much more to it than he was telling her, but thankfully she didn’t press any further.

“Of course I said yes. Clearly I need to do a better job of convincing you of my affections,” she teased him gently.

Steve let out a small laugh and buried his face in her hair.

“You convince me anymore, my heart just might burst outta my chest,” he warned her.

He could feel Peggy laughing against him.

“Well I suppose we can’t have that, now can we? I would very much rather your heart remain where it currently is.”

She tilted her head back and kissed him reassuringly. Steve sighed against her mouth slowly melted into it.

 

* * *

 

**December 14th, 1949 - SHIELD New York Headquarters**

Peggy hadn’t seen nearly as much of Steve as she would have liked in the last two weeks.

SHIELD was officially operational, and some of the offices around the country had been closed, with agents transferring every day to the two SHIELD offices that they had opened in New York and Washington. The remaining east and west coast branches would remain open for the time being, but they were now considered a division of SHIELD. As SHIELD opened up more branches, the SSR would finish the transfer into the new organization.

Peggy had been running around nonstop, always seeming to need to be in three places at once. She had delegated the remainder of the search for more information on Leviathan’s involvement in Fred’s murder to Steve and Michael, and even then she was still being pulled in far too many directions. However, this was her life’s work that was finally coming to fruition, and she’d be damned if she gave it one second less of attention than it deserved. Though it was exhausting, it was more than satisfying being able to walk into the New York office - which was three times the size of the SSR branch that had lived in the same city - and see dozens of agents hard at work under the helm of Director Phillips, keeping their country safe.

Under Peggy’s careful supervision, a portion of the building that was the home of the New York branch had been built as a safe house - one that was much more inviting than the one in the SSR building had been. Though she didn’t have the faintest idea of how to manage a construction or interior design team, it had been worth the sleepless nights of researching when she saw Michael and Bucky’s faces light up at the sight of their new home.

Through it all, Peggy could feel the weight of Leviathan’s threat against Michael pressing in the back of her mind. It had now been five weeks since they had taken him back and nothing had happened as of late. That didn’t deter Peggy from putting it high on her priority list to discover and stop whatever was to come.

Steve was nothing if not supportive of her work, despite the fact that Peggy knew he missed her just as much as she missed him. It didn’t help that he was currently more physically affectionate than normal (and Peggy had thought he had been incredibly so before) due to their recent engagement. Not that she minded of course. It just made it that much harder to leave their bed in the mornings, or sometimes in the middle of the night when she was being forcibly summoned to put out another fire.

She really would have to make it up to him soon.

Steve met Peggy as she exited one of the conference rooms. Together, they walked toward Director Phillips’ office, both having been summoned by him. Peggy’s mind whirled through every possible thing that he could want to speak to them about, which truthfully, could be about any number of things. She hadn’t had a chance to speak to him in person since before her engagement, with him setting up the branch in Washington while she took care of the New York end until he could arrive. 

After Director Phillips granted them permission to enter following Peggy’s knock, they walked in and closed the door behind them.

“Good afternoon, Director Phillips,” Peggy greeted.

“Good afternoon, Agent Carter, Captain Rogers,” he greeted, standing to meet them.

“Good to see you, Director,” Steve said.

Phillips’ eyes caught sight of Peggy’s engagement ring, and he raised his eyebrow.

“I see that congratulations are also in order,” he commented pointedly, though she swore she could see the faintest smile on his face. 

Peggy herself couldn’t help but grin. She looked over at Steve, who was gazing at her lovingly, with that same goofy smile that hadn’t quite been able to leave his face since she said yes.

“That they are, Director. Thank you,” she answered for them both.

She could still feel Steve’s eyes on her and she turned back to him.

“I’m sorry, is there something on my face?” she asked pointedly.

“Nope,” he replied, his eyes filled with adoration.

Peggy knew that it was ridiculous for her to still feel this happy when he looked at her, but she really couldn’t help it. There was something that was still so fresh about being engaged to Steve that it filled her with butterflies and a downright _giddiness_ that she could hardly control. It was ridiculous and it was cheesy, and she loved every minute of it. 

Quickly remembering where they were, she turned back to Director Phillips. She ignored the smirk on his face. When the men at the office discovered their engagement, she had gotten more than enough smirks, though most of it was good natured. However, she didn’t care to try and offer her superior officer the same quips that she had given the others.

“You requested to see us?” she asked instead.

“Yes. As of today, Phase 1 on the east coast is officially up and running, and that’s in large part thanks to you. Now, I have a proposal for you, Carter. Hopefully you’re just as excited about this one as the last.”

Peggy felt her cheeks heat up, and without looking she knew that Steve had what could only be described as a shite-eating grin on his face, but she kept her gaze steady as she waited for Phillips to continue.

“Stark and I talked earlier today, and we’ve come up with your new official title. We’d like you to be Deputy Director of SHIELD.”

Peggy’s jaw quite literally dropped.

“I - really?” she asked.

“Of course. You not only helped found the damn thing, you’re the one who brought Stark and I together to do so. It only makes sense that you’re the one helping to run it. You’ll stay here in the New York office so I can be in Washington full time. We’ll meet in person when necessary and you’ll keep me updated on everything, but you’re in charge here. What do you say, Carter?”

Peggy felt as though her chest would explode. It shouldn’t be allowed for one person to have so many good things happen to them all within such a short amount of time.

“I’d be more than happy to accept this position, Director Phillips,” she told him gladly, hardly maintaining her composure.

She could feel Steve radiating pride beside her, and it was all she could do not to plant one on him right then and there out of sheer excitement.

Phillips smiled at her.

“Then this office is yours once I head to Washington permanently,” he told her before turning to Steve.

“Captain Rogers, I requested you here because I figured you would want to be present for this. I assume she would have told you anyway. This way, you get to hear it from the source,” he joked good-naturedly. 

“Thank you, Director,” he said gratefully.

“That’s all,” he told them. “Keep up the great work.”

Both Peggy and Steve thanked him and left his office.

Realizing that there was no one in the hallway with them, Steve immediately wrapped his arms around her waist and hugged her tightly. Peggy couldn’t help but laugh as he lifted her off her feet momentarily.

“Really darling, you couldn’t be more transparent if you tried,” she teased him, though she knew that the large grin on her face gave away her own excitement.

“I don’t know what you mean, Deputy Director Carter,” he said proudly, setting her back down.

“Oh I quite like the sound of that,” Peggy thought out loud. “Can you believe it?”

“Of course I can,” he told her.

He laced their fingers together as they began walking down the hallway, swinging their hands between them.

“Spoken like someone who’s more than a tad biased,” she teased.

He stopped walking, his hand holding Peggy’s causing her to also stop abruptly.

“It doesn’t matter if I am, I’m really proud of you. I know how hard you’ve worked and what you’ve had to go through to get here,” he told her, his voice soft.

“Thank you,” she said sincerely before beginning to smooth out Steve’s jacket with her free hand.

“You know,” she began again. “Howard is hosting this lavish party on Christmas Eve.”

“He told me,” Steve replied casually, though he was filled with anticipation as to where this was leading.

“I was hoping you’d accompany me,” she replied, still toying with a nonexistent problem on the fabric of his jacket.

“It would be my honour, my dear,” he murmured with a soft smile.

“Lovely,” she replied, feeling extremely pleased.

“Does that mean I’ll get to take you home after?” he teased her knowingly. 

Peggy grinned and stood on the tips of her toes, ghosting her lips over Steve’s.

“Why wait until then? Take me home tonight and I’ll make it worth your while, soldier,” she promised him in a low voice, her lips curling up into a tantalizing smile.

She lowered herself back down and winked at him teasingly before turning and continuing down the hallway without him, leaving Steve left to recover by himself.

He snapped himself out of it and hurried to catch up to her, stepping to her side. She knew it was taking him every ounce of self control he had not to press her against the wall and kiss her right there.

Judging by the way his hand made a play for her waist, he just might have if two agents hadn’t turned the corner and crowded the once empty hallway.

Peggy couldn’t wait until tonight. She had always been very diligent about keeping her promises, and she was more than ready to make up for their time apart the last two weeks.

 

* * *

 

**December 24th, 1949 - Howard Stark’s Estate, Manhattan, NY**

Bucky looked around the ballroom and - not for the first time tonight - felt incredibly out of place.

Not just because his suit was nowhere near as high quality as most of the people there, but because everyone else there had two arms.

It was something that he hadn’t let himself dwell on. When Stark removed his metal arm, it had been more of a relief than anything. Once he learned how to manage life with only one arm, he stopped thinking about it all together. Being in near-isolation with no one other than him, Steve, Peggy, and Michael (among a few other SSR staff) had made him forget what an oddity he really was with his missing limb. They had never batted an eye about it, so he hadn’t either.

Until tonight.

He could feel the stares coming from all directions when he wasn’t looking. Some held pity. Some held something that reminded him too much of how one would look at a circus freak.

Bucky used to be a catch. He was handsome and charming, and knew exactly how to treat a lady to make her swoon.

Now he couldn’t even catch a girl’s eye to ask her to dance. 

Not that there were any dames that he was particularly interested in dancing with. If there was one, she was currently at some family event on the other side of town, and not here.

He saw Michael standing on one end of the room chatting up a pretty girl with jet black hair. He could tell that even though the guy wasn’t trying, the girl was practically ready to take him home for the night.

It had once been that easy for him too.

Bucky looked over to the other side of the room as Steve and Peggy arrived arm in arm. Steve’s tie matched the silver colour of Peggy’s floor length gown perfectly. He was whispering something into her ear that caused her to laugh. It looked as though the very sound of it was the reason Steve’s own face lit up.

They were a good couple, Bucky thought to himself. Not just because they looked good together, but because of the way they were with each other. They were clearly a team. Even after Peggy’s stint in Italy, they had both come out of it stronger than ever. Add to that the engagement, and they were practically inseparable at this point.

He noticed how they hadn’t stopped looking at each other the way they did during the war - if anything, the looks had only increased in quantity and intensity. The only difference was that now any hint of longing was gone. They had each other now, they didn’t need to pine anymore.

Bucky felt a slight pang of jealousy as he made eye contact with some random brunette who looked at his missing arm with slight horror in her eyes.

He turned his attention back to his friends, who were now dancing in each other’s arms. Bucky couldn’t help but crack a smile at the sight. Though they talked about it, he had never seen it in action.

Who knew Steve could be so light on his feet?

“Looks like they’re having fun,” a voice behind him said.

Bucky turned around and found himself face to face with Mel, who was wearing a forest green floor length dress. Her hair, which was always braided back, was currently loose, the tips of her soft curls just barely brushing her shoulders. She had on her signature soft pink lipstick. 

It was then that Bucky realized that this was the first time he had seen her wear anything other than her nurse’s uniform.

She had always been beautiful, but right now she was an absolute knockout.

He quickly shook himself back to reality.

“Thought you weren’t going to make it,” he said casually.

Good to know that he could still fake nonchalance.

“Plans changed,” she said simply.

He tried to ignore how happy he was that they had.

“Well aren’t I lucky?” he teased.

“Your words, not mine,” she joked back.

“Well hopefully the fun picks up now that you’re here,” he told her, not being able to hide his disappointment with how the night had gone up until now.

“Dancing’s fun,” Mel said casually, looking out to the dance floor, which had only gotten more crowded since her arrival.

“If you have two arms,” he said pointedly.

Mel frowned at him.

“You can dance with just one,” she told him.

“No one _wants_ to dance with the one-armed freak,” he muttered.

“Have you actually asked anyone or are you just assuming?” she countered.

“Don’t need to ask. I see how they all look at me,” he stated.

“Is it the same way I look at you?” she asked him brazenly.

_It wasn’t_ , his heart answered.

Bucky stopped and took a moment to consider the meaning of her words.

“Are you actually saying you’d want to dance with me? With this?” he said, jerking around his shoulder so that his pinned up sleeve flopped from side to side.

“Why don’t you ask me and find out?” she challenged him.

Before he could think about it, he offered her his hand.

“You wanna dance?”

Mel broke into a large smile, her eyes lighting up.

“Thought you’d never ask,” she said, accepting his hand and leading him to a small empty spot on the dance floor.

Once they settled themselves there, Bucky froze, realizing that he had no idea what to do with just one arm. Did he keep holding her hand, or was he supposed to put it on her waist?

Seeming to notice his inner turmoil, Mel guided his hand to wrap around her until his hand rested on her back. She then wrapped one of her arms around him, and gingerly placed her other hand on his shoulder, being mindful to keep a respectful distance from the edge of it. It was a simple action, but it made his heart swell. Regaining his ability to make decisions, he began to lead her in a slow waltz.

“See? You can dance with one arm,” she told him pointedly, though her voice was gentle.

“Who knew?” he half-joked.

“You don’t give yourself enough credit,” she said.

“You give me too much,” he told her.

“Sometimes, it’s easier to forgive others than it is to forgive ourselves, but we have to try to see ourselves the way our loved ones see us.”

“Poetic,” he said.

“Something my ma said once,” she shrugged.

“Sounds like a smart woman,” he said softly.

Mel diverted her gaze.

“She was.”

Bucky went to speak, but she shook her head at him, stopping his apology in its tracks.

The music changed, and Bucky resigned himself to the fact that even though he liked dancing with Mel, there was no way in hell he’d attempt the Charleston for the first time with one arm in front of this massive crowd of people. He went to pull away, but Mel caught his hand before he could retract himself fully.

He gave her a strange look, but she merely gave him a mischievous smile.

“Come with me,” she ordered more than asked.

Bucky raised his eyebrow at her, but nodded. Mel tugged him out of the room and through a series of complicated hallways until they reached the back garden.

“How’d you know this was here?” he asked her.

“Howard hosted an appreciation dinner here for the medical staff who helped with your surgery. He gave us a full tour.”

“Stark’s always been a standup guy,” Bucky commented plainly, looking around.

The garden was beautiful, even though it was the dead of winter. The snow was sparkling in the moonlight, and there wasn’t a cloud in the night sky. You could almost see the stars. It looked like something out of a novel. But not just any novel, one of those romance ones that he had glanced a peek at because one of his sisters left it out in the open. The ones where they described nights and settings just like this. 

Nights like this that led to a happy ending. 

He noticed Mel shiver, and he shrugged off his blazer and awkwardly put it around her shoulders. Mel bit her lip, as though she was trying to contain a smile.

“Who knew you could be such a gentleman?” she teased him.

“I have my moments,” he shrugged.

“You should have them more often,” she told him softly.

Something about the way she looked at him made Bucky’s breath catch. His eyes moved from her eyes to her lips, then flicked back up to her eyes. 

“What are you thinking about?” she asked softly, though the way her eyes lingered on his mouth told him she knew the answer to her own question.

Not waiting for the little courage he had to disappear, Bucky slowly leaned in to kiss her. Mel sucked in a sharp breath and he paused, their noses almost touching.

“May I?” he whispered.

The next second felt like the longest of his life as he waited for Mel to reply. Without a word, she tilted her head up and closed the distance between their lips.

Her lips were softer than Bucky had imagined they would be. He placed his hand on her cheek, but let Mel set the pace. Both her hands came to rest on his hips as she moved her lips gently and slowly against his.

She eventually pulled away. Bucky went to chase her lips, but stopped himself, not wanting to push too far too fast. Mel smiled at him with what could only be described as adoration.

“You’re really something else,” she whispered.

“I’m sure you say that to all the one-armed, ex-brainwashed assassins you sneak out into gardens late at night,” he half-joked.

Mel laughed and leaned up to kiss him again. This time, Bucky wrapped his arm around her waist and pressed her body against his. She smiled against his mouth and deepened the kiss, tangling one of her hands in his hair, and placing the other on his shoulder.

Just as she began to suck on his bottom lip, he heard heavy footsteps approaching from the outside entrance to the garden, and warning bells began ringing throughout his body. He pulled back.

“Something’s wrong,” he breathed out.

“What-”

Mel’s question was interrupted by a low, indistinguishable voice that seemed to be giving out orders. Her eyes went wide and she grabbed his arm tightly. He could have sworn he heard her whisper a soft _no_ , but she turned her attention back to him before he could ask.

“You need to get out of here. I’ll distract them,” she hissed at him, trying to push him back into the estate.

“I’m not going anywhere without you.”

“They’re here for you, not anyone else. Please, Bucky you have to go before they get you,” she pleaded with him.

“How do you know they’re here for me?”

He watched Mel’s eyes flash with pain and she opened her mouth to speak, but was cut off by the sound of a harsh voice.

“Ah, there you are, my little songbird,” the man leading the pack said.

Bucky stepped in front of Mel protectively, though she was still tugging at his arm forcefully in an attempt to get him to leave. As the group of men charged at them, Bucky managed to knock one of them down before three others tore him from Mel’s side. Though she managed to evade one of the men that tried to grabbed her, another wrapped his arms around her from behind while another shoved something in her mouth to stop her from screaming. She kicked and struggled, trying to break free, but the man holding her was easily twice her weight, and had a foot of height advantage on her.

She looked over at Bucky with fear in her eyes and his heart filled with rage at seeing her like this. Every instinct in his body wanted to keep her safe.

“Stay the hell away from her,” he growled loudly, struggling against the three that were keeping him from her.

“Don’t worry, Comrade, it’s not her we’re interested in, it’s you,” said the leader of the group.

Bucky tensed and turned to look at Mel again.

How had she known?

“Now the way I see it, you’re not completely helpless in this situation. You have one of two choices. You come with us peacefully, and no further harm needs to come to our little songbird. Or you can try to fight your way free. Against all odds, you might make it, but she definitely won’t. So what will it be, Comrade? Your life, or hers?”

Bucky tried to think of something - anything - he could do or say to save them both, when his eyes landed on the symbol that was stitched into leader’s jacket. His heart dropped to his stomach.

They were HYDRA.

Bucky understood all too well what these men were capable of. Hell, he had lived through it. If he went back with them, he would become The Asset again, and this time, he might just stay that way.

He heard a whimper come from Mel. When he turned to look at her, she was shaking her head furiously, as if trying to plead with him not to sacrifice himself for her.

As he gazed into her tear-filled eyes, he knew he couldn’t let them hurt her even a fraction of how they hurt him. He slumped his shoulders in defeat.

“Let her go,” he said, feeling surprisingly calm. “I’ll go with you.”

Mel let out a stifled cry and began trying to kick against the man holding her.

“I’m pleased to see that you’ve seen reason,” the leader said before nodding in Mel’s direction. “Let our accomplice go, she’s played her part,” he ordered.

Bucky felt as though the floor was being pulled out from under his feet. 

“Accomplice?” Bucky asked as the man who was restraining Mel forcefully dropped her on the ground.

The way the ring leader’s mouth twisted into a smile made him feel sick.

“Oh yes, our little songbird was quite instrumental in our success tonight. I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to thank her,” the man continued.

Bucky breathed in raggedly as though he had just been sucker punched.

Mel had been manipulating him all along.

It had all been a lie. 

_She_ had been a lie.

Bucky had always thought it had been an unnecessary exaggeration, when he heard about broken hearts. The heart was an organ. How could an organ break? Sure, your feelings could be hurt, but claiming it could break the same way a limb could was absurd.

Now, as he felt his heart split in two, he finally understood.

He wished he could have remained ignorant.

Mel removed the cloth from her mouth and ran to him, cupping his face in her hands. He was surprised that the men restraining him didn’t stop her.

“I’m so sorry. I had no choice,” she sobbed.

Bucky forced his head away from her grasp.

“Bucky, please-”

“Haven’t you done enough?” he snarled at her.

Mel dropped her hands at her side, at a loss for words.

Bucky hated her.

He hated that she had made him feel like he was more than his trauma. Like he was a person. Like he _mattered_.

He hated that he didn’t actually hate her. That despite everything she had done to him, he still wanted to hold her and kiss away her tears.

“Bucky-”

“That’s enough,” the man snapped. “I don’t have time for this. We’re leaving.”

“We had a deal,” Mel bit out in his direction.

Her voice sounded hollow.

“Oh yes, I almost forgot,” the man said in a bored tone. “Bring the girl.”

Bucky watched as two men dragged in a young girl, who was quite literally kicking and screaming. She looked like she couldn’t be more than eight years old. Her flaming red hair was blowing in the wind and half covering her face. 

“Let her go,” Mel ordered in a low voice.

At the sound of her voice, the little girl looked up.

She shared Mel’s blue eyes.

“Mel?” she cried out.

“Steph, it’s okay. I’m here. You’re going to be okay,” Mel attempted to soothe her before turning her attention back to the man.

“Let her go,” she repeated.

“All work and no play, I see,” he joked. 

The man nodded at the men restraining the girl - Steph - and Bucky watched as she sprinted to Mel, who met her halfway and engulfed her in her arms. He could clearly hear the young girl’s sobs even though they were being stifled by the shoulder of her - mother? Sister? Cousin?

Bucky had no idea who the hell this woman was anymore.

Mel looked up to meet Bucky’s eyes. She looked as helpless as he felt.

The men holding Bucky started dragging Bucky away.

He realized he could still fight this. He may not be successful, but he didn’t need to betotally compliant.

Another sob brought his attention back to the two people holding each other on the ground, causing his heart sinking further.

He couldn’t do it. Not when he would be bargaining a kid’s life.

_Or Mel’s_ , his heart added without his permission.

“Don’t,” Mel spoke up from where she was still holding the crying young girl.

The leader of the group turned sharply toward her.

“Is there a problem?”

“Don’t take him, please,” she pleaded, her voice shaky.

“Are you going back on our deal? Because I’d be more than glad to take the young one back with us. The men here are always starved for company,” he threatened.

Mel’s face went paler than the snow on the ground and she immediately shielded Steph’s body from the HYDRA agents with her own.

“That’s what I thought,” the leader said in a sickeningly pleased tone.

As Bucky was led toward the edge of the large garden, he thought that he could hear the young girl’s cries being joined by another.

They left the garden and he stepped onto the plane.

In the distance, he could hear two more far away voices join Mel and Steph’s. He looked back to see what was unmistakably Steve and Peggy’s figures sprinting toward his general direction. As strange as it was considering the circumstances, he felt a slight tug of warmth in his heart for the people who had become his little haphazardly formed family. He would miss them.

At least until his memories were stripped again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone for your patience! August is hard for me as I'm working a festival, so it's just a really long month filled with really long days. I promise I will not abandon this fic. I have every intention to finish it. 
> 
> Also, to everyone who takes the time out to comment, you're the actual best. I love hearing your thoughts!
> 
> Chapter Title taken from the song Promises from Hadestown (a lyric in the off-Broadway recording, it's not in the Broadway soundtrack). Seriously can you tell this soundtrack is all I've been listening to while writing this fic?
> 
> All my love to Darcy, my incredible beta.


	17. Ain't Nobody But Yourself to Trust

**December 24th, 1949 - Howard Stark’s Estate, Manhattan, NY**

Mel was numb.

The second Bucky was taken away she felt something inside her break.

Not a clean snap, but it more so resembled how a cookie crumbles to dust when it’s crushed in a fist.

It took her a moment to realize that that feeling was coming from her heart .

The snow hardly provided any cushioning as she sank to her knees. Mel gathered Steph tightly in her arms, her body no longer needing to serve as her physical shield from the HYDRA agents who had threatened to take her away again just as easily as the first time.

She didn’t feel the tears streaming down her cheeks freeze as the cold wind slapped at her face.

She didn’t hear Grant and Peggy arrive. They were a blur of silver and dark blue as they sprinted past her to where Bucky’s silhouette was only barely still visible.

She did see the plane take off and jet into the horizon long before they could reach it.

Her entire body threatened to collapse in on itself.

She looked down at Steph, who was still shaking in her arms.

Instead of completely crumbling like she needed to, Mel held herself together. 

For her sister.

Through the haze her brain was currently jumbled in, she thought she could hear her name being spoken. She slowly looked away from Steph and locked eyes with Peggy, who was now kneeling beside her.

_When had she gotten there?_

Without actually hearing what she was saying, Mel allowed Peggy to guide her and Steph so that they were standing. Her knees nearly buckled from the effort. Her legs had fallen asleep. Steph also had trouble getting up, most likely for the same reasons.

_How long had they spent kneeling on the ground?_

_How long had Bucky been gone?_

Words were exchanged by fiancées. Words that didn’t quite make it to her ears. Eventually a conclusion was reached between the two of them. The air was tense.

At Peggy’s prompting, Mel’s feet started taking her back toward the mansion, Steph still tucked securely under her arm. Peggy was walking beside her sister. The action seemed almost protective in nature. Grant was trailing behind them.

A black lump on the ground caught her eye before they got too far.

Bucky’s blazer.

It had fallen off her shoulders sometime during the struggle.

Maybe that was why she could hardly feel her arms.

_You know that’s not why._

She stopped momentarily to pick it up, never letting go of her hold on Steph. Mel held the blazer close to her chest with her free arm and continued on.

Instead of going back to the ballroom, Peggy led her through another hallway to a portion of the estate that she was less familiar with.

The sound of music and chatter followed them as they left.

No one else had noticed that a man’s life had just been destroyed.

Because of her.

At some point, Grant diverted from their group. Mel and Steph followed Peggy through a side entrance. Gun drawn, Peggy led them to the car she and Grant had arrived in.

They waited what seemed like an eternity before Grant rejoined them.

Peggy began speeding as she drove them back to SHIELD Headquarters.

No one said a word.

Steph had cried herself to sleep by the time they made it there.

Mel carried her sister as she was escorted to Peggy’s office.

Michael, Jack and Mr. Jarvis were already there. She briefly wondered how they had made it from the party to SHIELD’s office before they did. Especially considering the speed Peggy had been driving.

Mr. Jarvis offered her a seat upon seeing her. She nodded at him in place of verbally thanking him as she sunk down on the chair.

She didn’t quite trust her own voice. It was the same voice had told Bucky to ask her for a dance and invited him to the garden. She had damned Bucky with those words.

“How the hell did they find him?” Jack asked the second the door was closed, not beating around the bush.

“They found him once while in our care. HYDRA is relentless. We shouldn’t have let our guard down,” Peggy told him grimly. 

“It’s because of me,” Mel intersected, uttering her first words since he had been taken.

Her voice was hardly above a whisper.

Every head in the room snapped toward her.

“ _What?_ ” Grant asked in a low voice.

He was trying to remain calm, but his tone still sent shivers down her spine.

Mel took in a shaky breath.

“I was supposed to have dinner with my sister tonight. They - HYDRA - was waiting for me when I got home. Steph was gone.”

Mel winced at the sound of her own voice breaking.

“They told me I had to bring Bucky to them by tonight and that they were going to follow me to make sure I did. If I didn’t do it or if I told anyone then they would - ” she stopped herself abruptly. “I couldn’t just - I swear I didn’t want to - how could I after - But she’s all I have. I couldn’t lose her,” she finished brokenly, stroking her sister’s hair.

Steph looked so much younger than the eight years she had lived on this earth that it caused Mel’s heart to constrict.

The room remained deathly silent for a few moments as the new information settled over them.

Grant swore and turned away.

She’d never heard him swear before. Much less in a tone so harsh that it caused her to instinctively flinch.

Peggy stepped to him and gave him a meaningful look. Their eyes remained deadlocked for a few moments as they shared a silent conversation.

Eventually, Grant tore his gaze away from her, and Peggy turned to the group.

“Howard stayed behind at the party for sake of appearances. The longer we can make HYDRA think we don’t know about Barnes being kidnapped the better. Time is of the essence, so everyone listen, and listen well,” she began before looking at Mel.

“I’m going to need you to give me the exact words HYDRA used when you spoke with them, as well as a description of the men who took him. No detail is too small or insignificant. Effective immediately, you are relieved from your position at SHIELD and both you and your sister shall be placed under its protection.”

Mel gaped at her for a few moments. Losing her job was a lot less of a punishment than she had been expecting. Not only that, but they were going to keep Steph safe.

“Thank you, Deputy Director,” she whispered hoarsely.

Peggy gave her a slight nod and then turned to Michael and Jack.

“Both of you go through our HYDRA intel and find any possibilities of where they could have taken him.

Mr. Jarvis, I need you to take - Steph was it?” Peggy asked Mel, who nodded. “Take Steph to the safe house immediately and have one of the medical staff examine her while I speak to Melanie. Once you finish there you’ll go back to the party and pick up some items that I’ve requested from Howard that will help us find Barnes.”

“Yes, Miss Carter,” he agreed.

Mel immediately tightened her hold on her sister.

“If Steph wakes up and I’m not there she’ll freak,” Mel warned, not ready to let her sister out of her sights.

“We’ll sedate her until you can rejoin her,” Peggy said simply.

“You can’t-”

Peggy held up her hand sharply.

“It is not your place to contradict me. Our priority is finding Bucky before HYDRA converts him into The Asset again, and I require your full cooperation. Is that understood?”

Her tone made it very clear that there was no room for argument.

“Yes, ma’am,” she said quietly.

“Good. Now Grant, assemble our team, get them briefed, and then all of you will join Michael and Jack in strategizing. We need to be ready to leave the second we find out where they are. Now move,” she ordered the room.

“Yes, ma’am,” the men answered in unison, setting into motion.

Mel tried to ignore how every fibre of her being was protesting as she handed off a still sleeping Steph to Mr. Jarvis. She watched them leave and didn’t turn away, even as the door closed behind them.

“Start at the beginning,” Peggy prompted when Mel’s eyes still hadn’t left the door.

Without Steph’s body clinging to hers, she felt surprisingly vulnerable. She forced herself to face Peggy.

“I don’t know what else I can say,” she said.

“Sometimes the most seemingly irrelevant details turn out to be the most useful.”

Mel sighed and ran her hands through her hair. She still felt as though she was stuck in a fog. She closed her eyes. In her mind she could only picture Bucky’s hurt face when he had found out she had betrayed him. His voice echoed in her ears. 

How the hell was she supposed to come up with anything useful when she couldn’t shake his presence from her mind?

“When I first lost Captain Rogers, I was in a daze,” Peggy spoke up after they had spent a few more moments in silence. 

Mel opened her eyes to look at her. In her eyes there wasn’t any trace of the disgust or judgement that Mel was feeling toward herself. Peggy’s gaze was soft, and she looked surprisingly empathetic.

“The war was still going on around me, but all I could hear were the last words we shared over the radio. I would see his face everywhere - both literally and figuratively. I was trapped in this vicious cycle of mourning and self loathing for not being able to save him.”

“You weren’t the reason he died,” Mel responded hoarsely. 

“Even so, I still lost him. He was the first man who had ever respected me. He treated me like I had hung the moon itself, and suddenly he was gone and there was nothing I could do to bring him back. But I picked myself up and I won the damn war. For him and for me.”

Peggy stepped toward her and grabbed her hand tightly.

“The difference here is that Bucky is still alive. We’re not helpless. I know you feel terrible about what you did, but there’s no use in wishing you could take it back. Take the guilt and anger that you’re feeling toward yourself and use it as the fuel to keep going. To find him. He needs you.”

Peggy’s words seemed to be the light that broke through the fog in her mind, daring to pull her back to world. Mel clutched her hand like a lifeline and concentrated on the conversation she had had with the HYDRA agents a few hours ago.

“There might be something he said, actually,” she realized out loud.

“What is it?” Peggy asked encouragingly.

“Vibranium? That mean anything to you?”

 

* * *

 

Steve’s mind was running a mile a minute.

He called the agents who had been a part of Bucky’s first rescue and told them to come to SHIELD Headquarters immediately. When he had finished that task, he joined Michael and Jack in narrowing down the options of where HYDRA would have been most likely to take Bucky.

Ramirez, Anderson, Davis, and Smith all arrived shortly thereafter and were briefed on the situation. Together, they divided and conquered the remaining intel.

The entire time, Steve was haunted by two words whispering repeatedly in the back of his mind.

_Where’s Bucky?_

Steve hated how helpless he felt. He had been so caught up in his night out with Peggy that it hadn’t been until they had escaped to the garden that he realized that something was horribly wrong. 

_If he and Peggy hadn’t snuck off to be alone, how long would it have been before he would have noticed?_

For all his enhanced speed he hadn’t been able to reach Bucky in time. He was supposed to be a goddamn super soldier, but he couldn’t even save his best friend.

He forcefully drew another ‘X’ in their map of known HYDRA bases as they eliminated it from consideration.

_Where the hell was he?_

Not too long after, Peggy had summoned him back into her office, where she was now alone. Something told him that she had waited until she was certain that he wouldn’t cross Mel’s path as she was leaving. He couldn’t help but feel grateful. 

It wasn’t that he was angry at Mel. Steve knew the lengths he would go to - the lengths he had gone to already - in order to save Bucky. When it came to the people you loved, you would do anything to keep them from harm.

That didn’t mean he wasn’t angry at the situation - or himself.

“We need to talk,” Peggy told him once he had closed the door behind him.

“Did you find any new information?” he asked.

“I mean talk about what happened. As Steve Rogers and Peggy Carter, not as SHIELD Agent and Deputy Director,” she clarified.

Steve sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

“There’s nothing that comes to mind,” he said evasively.

“Considering he’s your best friend, I highly doubt that.”

“What do you want me to say, Peggy?” he snapped.

Steve knew it was misdirected anger. Peggy was doing everything in her power to find Bucky, and in the middle of it all she wanted to check in on him. To make sure he was still holding his head above water - which he was.

Just barely.

Peggy shrugged, seemingly unaffected by his harsh tone.

“Start by talking about how you feel, perhaps,” she suggested calmly.

“How I feel?” he asked, his tone slightly incredulous.

“Yes.”

“I thought that would be self explanatory,” he said flatly.

“Humour me,” she replied dryly.

He sighed.

“Alright, I’m angry. I’m angry because of what Mel did. I’m angry that I don’t actually blame Mel because if it had been Bucky’s life on the line - or yours, for that matter - I don’t know what I would’ve done to keep you safe. I’m angry because - because what was the point of coming back if I can’t protect him?”

He pinched the bridge of his nose and breathed heavily.

“Steve, did you intend for Bucky to get kidnapped again?”

Steve snapped his head up to look at Peggy.

“What? Of course not. How is this-”

“And now that you know what’s happened, what are you doing about it?” she interrupted.

“I’m looking for him,” he answered.

“Exactly. You can’t control other people’s actions, but you can control your response to them. You see things that are broken in this world, and all you can do is try to fix it. There is no way we could have seen this coming, but we are going to find him and bring him home. Just like we did the first time.”

“But what if it’s not enough? We saved him once and he’s back to where he was, except this time he got a taste of freedom only to have it stripped from him. Peggy, what if me being back here is actually making it all worse?”

There it was. 

The thing that had been gnawing at him since he had come back. What if he had ruined everything that had once been by returning? What had been destroyed just for the sake of him getting what he wanted?

“I just - Was I wrong in coming back? I’ve tried so hard to do the right thing but even though good things happen… Have I just made things worse by changing them? How do we know if this has been worth it?”

He hated that his voice reflected how broken he felt. Steve’s dam had cracked and water was bursting through. Peggy looked at him sadly and stepped toward him. She reached up and gently wiped away a stray tear that had escaped his eye, and took his hands in hers.

“You gave Bucky his life back. You saved him _decades_ earlier and gave him a better chance to live his life. I know you’re the one who’s the expert on him, but I dare say he’s been quite happy - as happy as he could be all things considered. That’s miles better than where he was before we rescued him. The happiness he’s known the last few months is all because you came back and gave us vital information that helped save him.”

Steve gazed down at their intertwined fingers.

“My darling, there is no way to always tell how our actions will negatively affect others. We can just try our best and hope that we don’t muck things up. It’s the price we pay for living and loving.”

She tilted his chin up to look her in the eye.

“Besides, if nothing else, I can think of one person whose life has been changed for the better by your presence here. She wouldn’t trade her life with you for anything. Though she’ll also be the first to admit it’s incredibly selfish of her,” Peggy confessed.

Steve swallowed thickly and kissed her deeply, moving his hands to hold her tightly to him.

When he broke his lips apart from hers, Peggy allowed him to bury his face in her neck and remained with her body pressed to his. She reached up and stroked his scalp gently, one arm wrapped around his neck.

“You don’t have to be okay right now. You don’t even have to be strong until we are walking out of this building ready to bring him back. As long as you can be there for him when we go an rescue him, you can go back to not being okay as soon as we’ve brought him back. I’ll be by your side the entire time, holding you through this. We will get through this. Together,” she promised.

Steve had no idea how Peggy did it, but he felt himself believing her words, and allowed them to wash over him and fill his heart with self-forgiveness. Having someone to share the burden with him was something he was getting used to - and still felt foreign at times. But it was moments like these that he remembered just how much of a healing effect Peggy had when he let her in, and how much lighter she made him feel.

In that moment, Steve’s heart whispered to him what he had always known to be true.

That it had been worth it.

Peggy was worth everything.

“You’re incredible,” he whispered into her neck.

Peggy kissed his head gently and smiled against his hair, holding him tightly.

A knock at the door startled them. Steve pulled back from Peggy. She gave him an apologetic look and he knew they had to go back to being Deputy Director Carter and Agent Carter. He nodded and stepped back so that there was a respectful distance between them.

He already missed the way her body had been tethering him to reality like an anchor.

“Come in,” she called out.

Michael walked in with Jack. Ramirez, Anderson, Smith, and Davis all walked in behind them.

Smith let out a whistle when he saw Peggy. 

“Damn Director Carter, you get dolled up just for us?” he asked teasingly, clearly trying to diffuse the tension that hadn’t seemed to have left anyone since Bucky’s kidnapping.

It was then that Steve realized that just as he, Michael, and Jack were still in the suits they had worn to the party, Peggy was still wearing her floor length silver dress.

“Only for one of you, Smith, if you can guess who it is,” she quipped. “Now, shut the door.”

“Any updates?” Ramirez asked.

“After speaking with Mel, I believe we have a potential lead.”

She grabbed a file from the top of her desk and continued.

“Roland Snider. He’s a very wealthy socialite who has been known to run a healthy business in the black market selling weaponry. Rumour has it that he’s recently gotten his hands on some vibranium, and is looking to sell to the highest bidder, which happens to be HYDRA. Tonight, he’s at a very festive Christmas Eve celebration.”

“I’m guessing that’s where we get him?” Anderson asked.

Peggy nodded.

“I’ll be going in undercover to see if he has any information that could lead us to where HYDRA might have taken Bucky.”

“Alone?” Steve asked.

“None of you are nearly as much his type as I am,” she half-joked, picking up a small broach-looking device that Steve assumed Mr. Jarvis had brought over from Howard. “However, I’ll wear a wire that will transmit everything to a van where you, Thompson, and Ramirez will be listening,” she told him. 

Steve nodded sharply. He was more than reluctant for Peggy to put herself in any situation where she could be hurt, but was well aware how her specific charms would be useful in this situation. He knew all too well how _persuasive_ she could be when she wanted to be.

“As for the rest of you, I believe that Mel could be useful in narrowing down your search. She’ll be joining you shortly to help your efforts of locating Bucky. Now let’s go. I’m already dressed for the occasion, I’ll just need to grab my wig.”

Steve raised his eyebrow at her.

“Wig?”

“Snider has a penchant for blondes,” Peggy shrugged. 

 

* * *

 

“The second we hear any trouble, we’re coming in after you,” Steve told Peggy as she went about her last bit of business before she could leave the van, handing him her engagement ring.

He held it gingerly, and couldn’t help but think how strange her hand looked without it. Steve had spent so much time the last few weeks looking at it that it hadn’t been long before he had become accustomed to seeing it on her finger. Peggy grimaced slightly at her now bare left hand, as though in agreement with his thoughts that he hadn’t spoken aloud.

“Yes yes I understand, Grant,” she placated him. “Now wish me luck.”

He grabbed her hand before she could leave.

“Be careful,” he told her quietly.

“Of course,” she reassured him.

He wanted nothing more to kiss her, but he knew that it would be inappropriate in this setting. Maybe if Jack hadn’t been right beside them looking far too amused for Steve’s taste. 

Even if it had been just the two of them, Peggy was currently wearing her Sweet Dreams lipstick. Though he hoped the serum’s effects meant that it wouldn’t knock him out, now wasn’t the moment to test it for the first time, much less in front of Jack.

Peggy squeezed his hand before releasing it and left the van.

“Talk to us, Carter. Gotta make sure we can hear you,” Ramirez said into the microphone they had set up in the van.

“How’s this, sugar?” she said in a perfect American accent.

“Atta girl,” Ramirez responded, clearly amused. 

As she walked into the club, Ramirez turned off their microphone so she wouldn’t have their voices in her ear unless they needed to reach her.

“Now what’s a pretty thing like you doing in a place like this all alone?” Steve heard a man say not even two minutes after Peggy had arrived.

“Seems like I’m not pretty enough to stop me from being stood up,” Peggy responded, her tone slightly despondent but inviting.

_That didn’t take any time at all,_ Steve couldn’t help but think. 

Though he wasn’t necessarily surprised. He knew exactly what Peggy looked like. She was practically a siren, what with the way men seemed to gravitate toward her - both as a blonde and a brunette.

“Hey, don’t go saying that. You’re… gorgeous.” 

Steve knew that the man had used the pause to fully rake his eyes over Peggy’s body. He tried to breathe deeply to relax the protective fire that he was feeling in the pit of his stomach.

“You really mean that, sugar?” she responded, her voice as smooth as silk.

“That fella’s an idiot for not showing up,” he affirmed. “But hey, his loss is my gain.”

“And what makes you so sure this is your gain Mr…” she asked teasingly.

“Roland Snider,” he provided. “You’re saying you don’t want to dance Miss…?”

“Anastasia Woods. And you haven’t asked,” she told him.

“Come here, doll. Let me sweep you off your feet.”

Peggy let out what could only be described as a flirtatious giggle before she was lead to the dance floor. For a while there was no talking over the wire as they danced.

“What do you say we move this back to my office?” Snider asked.

“Oh, an office? You must be pretty important.”

“You have no idea,” he said. “Shall we?”

Peggy giggled and agreed.

“Carter’s really going all out,” Jack commented casually in Steve’s direction.

Steve stared ahead stonily, not wanting to rise to Jack’s bait - no matter how tempting it was.

“I mean I can’t imagine it’s easy to listen to your girl practically being dry-humped by a guy who’s in bed with HYDRA. And on the heels of Barnes being taken. Not your best night.”

“Knock it off, Jack,” Ramirez interjected sharply.

“I’m just surprised that he’s not more uncomfortable, is all,” Jack defended.

“That’s not the word I would use,” Steve replied in a low tone.

The threatening edge to his tone was enough to shut Jack up, which Steve was grateful for. It still amazed him that for as much progress he had made, Jack still acted like an ‘utter wanker’ - to quote Peggy.

“So this is where the magic happens,” Peggy commented aloud, informing the men in the van that she was now in Snider’s office.

“You got that right.”

“What exactly is it you do around here?”

“I have many important clients, but it’s probably best you don’t know any details.”

“I’m not as innocent as I look, sugar. You can tell me anything,” she told him, her voice low and enticing.

“These things are classified, doll,” he told her.

His voice was louder than it had previously been. Not by much, but Steve knew that it meant he was closer to her.

“Even for me?” she pouted. “What a pity. You’ll find I’m much more _generous_ with partners who share.”

Ramirez and Jack’s jaws both dropped.

Steve clenched his fists.

“You first, doll.”

There was some shuffling noises, and Peggy tutted.

“Good things come to those who wait,” she teased.

Snider groaned.

“You’re really something else,” he said, voice low.

“You have no idea,” she whispered. 

“You’ve kept me waiting long enough. Now come here.”

“Wait just a-”

Steve heard Peggy’s protests become muffled and the sound of things being knocked over. Jack and Ramirez sat up straighter at the same time he bolted up from his chair, knocking his head on the roof of the van. After cursing rather loudly, Steve turned on the microphone.

“Peggy? Peggy are you-”

There was a loud thud, and Peggy seemed to gasp as she took in a deep breath.

“I’m fine,” she said in her natural dialect. “Snider got comfortable rather prematurely.”

“Do you need us to come in?”

“It’s alright, darling, I’ve got this covered. Give me a moment to find something of use to us,” she told him.

Steve had to work really hard not to smile when she called him darling instead of Carter, or Grant, or Agent. Focusing on not punching the smirk off of Jack’s face was a good distraction for it.

After a few minutes of papers shuffling, metal and glass items being moved around, and Peggy’s footsteps, they heard her voice over the wire again.

“I’m on my way back, be ready to drive the second I arrive,” she ordered.

“Yes ma’am,” Ramirez replied, climbing into the driver’s seat.

He was followed by Jack, who climbed into the passenger seat beside him.

In less than 30 seconds, the door to the van opened and Peggy climbed in. Ramirez began driving before she even had a chance to close the door behind her. She tumbled into the seat next to Steve, breathing heavily. She was clutching a briefcase in one hand and her clutch bag in the other. She set the clutch down and took off her wig, tossing it aside as though she couldn’t stand to wear it for even a second longer. She looked up at Steve, seemingly to assess how he was doing.

It was then that he noticed her lipstick was slightly smeared.

He inhaled sharply but stayed silent.

They couldn’t talk about it. Not here with Jack and Ramirez right beside them.

That didn’t mean that he could stop the rage from coursing through his veins at the thought of Snider forcing himself on her. 

Peggy put her right hand over one of his clenched fists and stroked her thumb over it as a way to silently comfort to him. When his shoulders released the slightest bit of tension, she then lifted up her left hand, fingers spread slightly. Understanding what she wanted, Steve took great care in sliding her ring back to its home on her finger. He took a moment to look at it before pressing his lips to her knuckles. Peggy gave him a soft, reassuring smile. 

Steve then used his other hand to grab his handkerchief from his pocket, and gently wiped away the lipstick that had been smudged outside the line of her lips. Peggy’s eyes fluttered shut at the contact and she swallowed thickly, clearly touched by the action. 

When he finished, he returned the handkerchief to his pocket. She opened her eyes and smiled gratefully, though she pulled her hand away from his. Peggy then grabbed a piece of paper that she had stashed in her clutch, and handed it to Jack as she addressed all of them.

“I uncoded a message on Snider’s desk. He’s supposed to be meeting HYDRA at this location in less than an hour and a half with the vibranium in this briefcase. Our next move will be to intercept this meeting. It shouldn’t be too difficult considering Snider will most likely still be laying unconscious on the floor of his office.”

“How do we know that they’ll have Barnes with them?” Jack asked.

“We don’t. Hopefully he’ll be with them, but even if he’s not there, they'll know where he is. They’re expecting Snider, not us. We can take HYDRA by surprise,” Peggy said. “As soon as we return to the office, everyone needs to get dressed in tactical gear and we’ll head out immediately.”

She turned to Steve and grabbed his hand once again. She had a fiery look in her eyes that he had seen many times during the war. It was the look that let him know she was about to run headfirst through enemy lines.

He squeezed her hand, ready to join her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been more than a hot second. Work and life got wildly out of control for a bit there, as it tends to. I hope to update more often now as things start winding down.
> 
> Much much much love to Darcy, who is always incredibly supportive and all around awesome.
> 
> Chapter Title taken from the song "When the Chips Are Down" from Hadestown (it's not even a surprise anymore we all know I'm obsessed with this musical)


	18. Homecoming

**December 25th, 1949 - A Shoebox Apartment in the Bronx, NY**

The woman, who had been previously occupied by her book, snapped her head up to look at the typewriter as it started typing of its own volition. When it had finished, she purposefully stood and approached it.

_They will be arriving shortly. More updates to come._

 

* * *

 

**Alaska**   
****

Not for the first time in the last 24 hours, Peggy was cursing HYDRA with such vivid language that she was certain her grandmother was rolling in her grave.

To be fair, blatant hatred toward HYDRA was a sentiment she normally felt, but as she took the first half of the night watch with Anderson, already chilled to the bone, she couldn’t help but mentally curse them even more for good measure.

After they had intercepted the trade off between Snider and HYDRA, things had quickly escalated. However, they had gained control of the situation and were able to figure out where Bucky had been taken. They arrested the HYDRA agents and brought them back to SHIELD to be properly dealt with. Peggy wasted no time before arranging for their team - excluding Michael - to be dropped off in Alaska, ready to get Bucky back. 

Michael had been extremely upset at being left behind, but after the incident, Peggy had declared that everyone who was in SHIELD’s protective care was now immediately under strict house arrest until further notice. She wasn’t about to let HYDRA - or anyone for that matter - take someone else that she loved.

As Deputy Director, she herself wasn’t technically supposed to go on any field missions unless it was cleared with Director Phillips. However, considering the circumstances, she hadn’t allowed him the chance to argue with her before she had hung up the phone and was flying off with her team.

She just hoped Phillips would consider her freezing her arse off in Alaska in the dead of winter to be a suitable enough consequence, should it come to that.

Thankfully they had located a very small shelter where they would be protected from the elements. Due to the abnormally cold weather, they had all agreed that there would be two night shifts, with the possibility of more rotations being added should the weather prove more ruthless than what it currently was.

Peggy heard footsteps crunching in the snow from behind, and both her and Anderson quickly turned back to see that it was only Steve, who had left the shelter and was walking over to them. Despite the wind whipping at her body, she felt herself fill with warmth at the sight of him.

Though his expression would never betray it to anyone else, Peggy could see how worn out he looked.

He should be sleeping.

“Agent Carter,” Peggy greeted him cordially.

“Director Carter,” Steve reciprocated.

Anderson rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, using your official titles makes me forget you’re getting hitched. Good call,” he joked good-naturedly.

Despite the violent chill that passed through her, Peggy smiled. Anderson always seemed to act like the littlest brother of their team. Before she could retort, she felt something being draped over her shoulders. She looked up to see that Steve was no longer wearing his outer jacket.

“What is this?” Peggy questioned.

“It’s a jacket. I hear they’re supposed to keep you warm,” Steve said seriously.

Peggy rolled her eyes fondly, but chose not to rise to the bait.

“What about you?”

“You know I run warm,” he said dismissively. 

If Peggy had been even the slightest bit less cold, she would have protested. However, at that moment an exceptionally violent gust of wind hit them, and she found herself burrowing into his jacket for further protection. She slipped her arms into the sleeves and allowed his jacket to envelope her not only with warmth, but with his scent.

“Thank you,” she said softly. “Now go rest.”

He tried to smile, and Peggy wanted nothing more in that moment than to kiss him until he gave her a real smile.

Except maybe a heater.

She would kill for a heater right now.

“Yes ma’am,” Steve said professionally, though the slight glint in his tired eyes gave him away.

They shared another look between them, and he retreated back into the shelter.

“Look at him. He doesn’t even have the decency to pretend to look cold,” Anderson muttered.

Peggy knew that considering he was still wearing three other layers, in tandem with what the serum did for him, Steve probably wasn’t cold, or if he was, it was only just barely.

“He’s always been the gallant type,” Peggy responded as a way of excusing it.

“He really is something else, huh?”

Peggy raised her eyebrow at him.

“What makes you say that?”

“A lot of things. But mostly, I’ve never seen any fella respect any dame the way he respects you.”

“You respect me,” Peggy pointed out.

“Not my jacket you’re wearing though, _Director_ ,” he quipped.

Peggy punched his arm half-heartedly, but she couldn’t help but grin at him.

 

* * *

 

Later that night when Thompson and Davis came to trade off the night watch, Peggy and Anderson gratefully entered the shelter. Though it wasn’t heated, it was still a relief from the wind, and it gave them somewhere to sit that wasn’t covered in snow. 

Peggy took a good look at Smith, Ramirez, and Steve, who were all leaning against one wall or another, as there was no space for anyone - even someone Peggy’s size - to lay down properly. Despite the extremely cramped quarters, Anderson immediately took one of the only two open areas and settled down to sleep.

After a moment, she carefully climbed over the group of men and situated herself in the empty spot beside Steve, who had taken the furthest back corner - though it hardly made any difference what with how small the shelter was. However, before she could settle in properly, she felt Steve’s hands grab her hips and pull her onto his lap, eliciting an involuntary squeak from her. She was grateful the darkness enveloped them, hiding how her already pink cheeks had most certainly grown even redder. Though to that point, she knew it was likely that Steve would still be able to see it with his enhanced vision.

It was out of character for Steve to be so blatantly affectionate when they were at work - either in the office or on a mission. Though they had a tendency of stealing kisses or briefly holding hands when they were alone in a hallway or conference room, he had never initiated anything like this in public - except for that one time he kissed her during Bucky’s surgery. 

Even in the darkness, the room was the size of a closet - they hardly had any more privacy here than they did walking down the street in broad daylight. Squinting in the dark, she struggled to discern the reason for abruptly pulling her onto his lap.

“Did you want your jacket, darling?” she whispered. 

Steve made a grunting sound, which she took as a resounding “no” when he wrapped his arms around her waist to hold her firmly in place.

It wasn’t professional, and they were crammed in a tiny shack with other SHIELD Agents who could wake up at any moment, but Peggy had no control over the way her body immediately curled into his. 

She knew she could easily blame this on the weather. The time she had spent outside had left her nearly frozen, and Steve was practically a heater with the amount of warmth that he was emitting. 

But deep down she knew that wasn’t the sole reason for her body giving in so readily. The fact of the matter was that they hadn’t had a true moment alone since their talk in her office, and even that had been left without a proper resolution. As ridiculous as it sounded, she missed him. It didn’t matter that they hadn’t been parted for more than an hour since the incident.

More to it, Peggy was downright terrified for Bucky. He had become Peggy’s close friend, almost like another brother, and she knew damn well what HYDRA would do to him. 

What they might have already done to him.

Bucky wasn’t the only one she was concerned about, though. Steve’s wellbeing was always at the top of her priorities and she knew that though he was putting on a brave face, he was exhausted, and hurting badly. 

Both Steve and Bucky were relying on her to lead their team to find Bucky as fast as possible. Though she couldn’t fix the emotional damage caused by this, she could give them that much at least.

She had to.

Then there was the ordeal with Snider. 

Peggy knew very well what the risks of a mission like that were. She had lived them many times before. In a sense, she had become numb to it. But when she had seen how it had affected Steve, how she had added more pain and anger to what he was already going through, it had shaken something inside her. She was no longer numb to the way Snider had shoved her against his desk and smashed his mouth against hers, or the way that his hands had restrained her wrists. 

She was no longer numb to the fear that had been threatening to consume her since Bucky had been taken.

So Peggy decided to be selfish, composure and professionalism be damned. Allowing her body to melt against Steve’s, she felt a small sense of peace wash over her - as strange as it was in this situation. In his embrace, she was safe. She was loved. She could pretend that everything was well, if only just for now. 

Looking up, she took a moment to analyze the outline of Steve’s face. His eyes were closed, and his breathing was even. Though she knew it was unlikely, she hoped he was sleeping. He never did sleep well - if at all - when they went on overnight ops, but maybe his exhaustion had caught up to him. Steve deserved to sleep. Lord knows he would need it come the morning.

Peggy leaned up and pressed a gentle kiss to his jaw. 

“Happy Christmas, darling,” she whispered. 

After a moment she added:

“Though I suppose there’s nothing much happy about it, is there?”

She could have sworn that his grip on her waist tightened, but when he showed no other signs of consciousness, she chalked it up to her body creating phantom sensations as it attempted to thaw. Peggy rested her head on his shoulder and allowed the haven of his warm embrace to pull her toward sleep. 

The sudden feeling of lips being pressed to the top of her head kept her from completely submitting to her exhaustion. As she cracked her eyes open the slightest bit, she could just hardly hear some indiscernible words before Steve paused. His low voice then came clearer. 

“I love you. Merry Christmas, my dear.”

Peggy smiled softly before sleep overtook her. 

 

* * *

 

In the morning, Peggy awoke with Steve’s arms still wrapped tightly around her, and she couldn’t help but smile at how she almost felt warm, despite the wind howling outside their shelter. Everyone was seemingly still asleep.

However, when Peggy tilted her head to look over at them, she could see that Jack had just returned from his night watch shift, and he had a smirk on his mouth as their eyes met.

Peggy was ready to give him a glare that would no doubt wipe the smugness from his mouth when she realized that there was no smugness to be found.

There was amusement, teasing, and dare she say it, _kindness_ behind his smirk that was surprising. Though she had to admit it was a welcome change from the snark that she usually found lived beneath his smirks.

She felt, rather than heard Steve wake up when his lips pressed against her hair. Jack raised an eyebrow, but Peggy raised hers back without missing a beat. She then tilted her head up to capture Steve’s lips in hers.

Steve’s surprised noise came out muffled against her lips, though by the way he quickly began reciprocating, Peggy knew that he wasn’t complaining.

Peggy couldn’t help but smile at the small noise of protest that Steve made when she pulled away. She looked over at Jack and gave him a pointed look, as though she was daring him to say anything about it. 

If she didn’t know any better, she would almost say that he was looking at her with approval.

She detached herself from Steve and stood up, returning his jacket before she nudged Anderson awake with her foot.

“Rise and shine, boys. It’s go time.”

 

* * *

 

**December 27th, 1949 - SHIELD Safe House**

It had been 63 hours and 38 minutes since Bucky had been taken. 

54 hours and 12 minutes since the team had left to God knows where to get him back.

12 hours 54 minutes since she had last asked Howard Stark if he had any news.

12 hours 53 minutes 52 seconds since he had sadly shaken his head.

More or less.

Not that she was counting.

Maybe she was.

So what if she was?

Mel was losing her goddamn mind.

But only a little bit.

At the very least, she was definitely exhausted. 

Between consoling and taking care of Stephanie, working with Howard to get everything prepped for the worst case scenario version of Bucky’s return, and being sick with worry and guilt, Mel had hardly slept more than 12 hours.

At some point, someone had gone back to her tiny apartment and grabbed clothes and some of their books for her and Steph. It was a small gesture, but it had provided more comfort than she thought would be possible in this situation.

Probably more comfort than she deserved at the moment.

Mel looked over at Steph, who had fallen asleep quickly.

Credit where credit is due: Steph could still fall asleep quickly when provided with an improvised bedtime story, and if she didn’t have any nightmares, it would take a bomb going off to wake her up.

Mel used to be like that too.

They had been offered two separate rooms, but Steph’s constant nightmares had led them to sharing the same one so Mel was always readily available to comfort her. Though sometimes, Mel wasn’t sure who needed more comforting - not that she’d ever disclose that to her sister. It was Steph’s job to be the kid. It was Mel’s job to protect her.

Though she was ready to fire herself from that job after this incident. If there was anyone else who she trusted enough to be Steph’s guardian, she would have probably done it already.

_No._

No she would never give up custody of Steph.

Because no one would fight for her the way Mel fought for her.

 

**November 20th, 1944 - Melanie and Stephanie Bahniuk’s Home, New Jersey**

_Mel had been glad he enlisted to serve almost as soon as the United States joined the war._

_Relieved might have been the better word for what she felt._

_Free was definitely the most accurate._

_She knew that according to the labels of their relationship and the gravity of what he was doing, she should miss him. Try to miss him. At least for the sake of appearances._

_But she didn’t want to. She couldn’t bring herself to even pretend that she would miss him. That she could ever miss him._

_What followed were the most peaceful years of her life. Of her mother and sister’s lives too._

_Steph had only been three years old at the time. Not quite old enough to understand the particulars of their home dynamics, or how everything had shifted completely on its head the second he left._

_But for three years, Steph was raised learning what it meant to have a happy mother, and a carefree sister._

_In those three years, there were trips to see films, visits to Coney Island, and countless walks in the park._

_Love and laughter filled their house in a way it hadn’t in ten years._

_Her mother smiled again._

_Then the telegram came._

_Mel could hear her mother’s cry from the other room. She dashed in to find her hands clutching the a piece of paper. Her face was white as a sheet and her shoulders were shaking violently._

_Slowly, Mel walked over and gently extracted the paper from her hands, eyes roaming over the words that would destroy the life she had come to love so much._

_He had injured his shoulder and had been honourably discharged._

_Her stepfather was coming home._

_Mel wrapped her mother in her arms protectively, allowing her break down on her shoulder._

_He might have gotten out of the World War, but Mel’s war was just restarting._

 

**Present Day**

Mel stared blankly at the single glimmer of light coming from where their door was opened just a crack. 

They always slept with the door open. It offered some slight comfort.

Despite everything she had gone through, Steph had never been scared of the dark. 

The dark was one of the things Mel hated the most.

Mel threw the covers off of her body and left their shared room to take a walk around. She needed to do something other than lay around until they got anymore news or Howard needed help with something else.

It was still strange for her to walk around the safe house not wearing her nurse uniform. It left her feeling surprisingly vulnerable, like she was an outsider. 

Not completely off the mark.

Upon seeing that she was about to cross paths with Marissa and Carrie - two of the nurses in the safe house - she quickly turned the corner to avoid them. 

Mel had long stopped making eye contact with anyone that wasn’t Howard. He was the only one who didn’t whisper behind her back or make her feel like a traitor.

She didn’t blame them for that though.

Mel couldn’t understand how Howard could still be so civil toward her, why he had asked her to help to prepare for Bucky’s return. She had brought HYDRA to his back garden and betrayed one of his closest friends, not to mention the entire organization that he had helped build from the ground up.

Her mind wandered to the conversation she had with Peggy. She had been surprisingly understanding and encouraging.

It could have just been a tactic to get her to talk.

But when Howard had shown up looking nearly manic, he hadn’t started on her like she expected him to. He just put her to work - even though she no longer had her job at SHIELD.

Mel was about to turn back to return to her room when she heard three pairs of eerily familiar footsteps coming from a distance.

Before she knew it, she was following the noise and gasped when she saw the source. It was Grant and Peggy, returned from their mission. Standing in between them there was a third person. The sight of him made her breath catch in her throat.

_Bucky._

_He was alive._

_He was home._

Without thinking, she sprinted to them and threw her arms around him, clutching him to her.

“You’re okay! Thank goodness you’re okay. I’m so glad you’re okay,” she whispered, the words tumbling from her mouth without her permission.

Bucky didn’t say anything, and after another moment, a pit formed in Mel’s stomach.

He wasn’t hugging her back.

She pulled away, ignoring the way her cheeks were heating up in embarrassment.

“Bucky?” she whispered, looking into his eyes.

They were distant and wary, flitting around as though anything was about to jump out of the shadows and grab him. It seemed like he couldn’t quite figure out whether she was a threat or not.

It reminded her of how he looked when she saw him for the first time more than five months ago.

At a complete loss of what to do, she looked to Peggy.

Though she was very good at schooling her face into a neutral expression, Mel could see the slightest bit of sympathy in Peggy’s eyes as she shook her head slightly.

She looked to Grant, who looked like he had just gone through hell and back. It seemed that it took all of his energy to mimic Peggy’s head shake.

With a bleeding heart, she turned back to look at Bucky.

Something close to recognition dawned on his expression, and a harshness filled his eyes. The force of the look made her take a step back.

“Bucky?” she tried again weakly.

The silence between them settled heavily in the air.

Mel swallowed thickly and nodded in understanding. 

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered brokenly.

Without another word, she turned around and began to walk away, trying to keep her head held high, though she felt a familiar burning sensation in the back of her eyes. 

She immediately crossed paths with Director Phillips and Howard Stark, who were walking briskly in the direction she had just left. Making a split second decision, she decided to turn a corner and stay there, her back pressed up against the wall. Mel closed her eyes tightly and focused on their voices.

The distance between them meant that she could only overhear little snippets of their conversation.

People were badly injured. Ramirez, Smith, and Davis. Maybe someone else?

Quite frankly, Peggy and Grant had also looked rather worse for wear.

Guilt settled heavily in her stomach.

“Next time, we have a real discussion before you go throwing yourself into the field. Understood, Carter?”

That was Director Phillips.

“Phillips, this is the same woman who got me to fly Cap over enemy lines when she barely knew him. You really telling us you thought she’d let herself be sidelined on something like this?” Howard quipped on her behalf.

“You’re all going to be the death of me,” Phillips grumbled, though Mel swore there was the slightest hint of fondness in his voice.

Peggy gave a gentle quip back before muttering something about Leviathan possibly being involved in this scheme.

There was a decision reached to get Bucky properly settled into Howard’s care. Grant offered to help while Peggy and Phillips would meet in her office to discuss their next steps.

“Come on, Buck,” Grant said softly. “We’re gonna take care of you now.”

Mel squeezed her eyes shut as their footsteps retreated. She slowly slid down the wall. She clutched her legs to her chest and buried her face in her knees, muffling the sob that escaped of its own volition.

Mel hadn’t cried since they had taken him.

 

* * *

 

**December 28th, 1949 - Peggy Carter and Steve Rogers’ Apartment, Brooklyn, NY**

Peggy frowned as she looked into the mirror.

She let her eyes hone in on the burn mark on her shoulder before she readjusted her blouse to cover it properly. Bringing her attention back to her face, she took in the dark circles under her eyes. They were a visible sign of the exhaustion her body still felt, despite the fact she had slept in her own bed last night. The purple bruise on her left temple threatened to overtake her left eye, but ended just before it could. Her fingers ghosted over the fairly long cut on her jaw.

Steve’s sudden appearance in their bedroom, towel wrapped around his waist, caused her to drop her hand from her face and focus on putting on her watch. His face had already been healed of the majority of his injuries, which had all been rather superficial to begin with. 

They had gotten lucky.

She made a mental note to check up on Ramirez, Smith, and Davis before heading over to meet Anderson, Jack, and Michael.

Peggy began to carefully apply her makeup, taking care to try and cover up the bruise and dark circles in particular.

“It was painful to watch them yesterday,” Steve commented quietly as he got dressed.

She didn’t have to ask what he meant.

“I thought it went as well as could be expected, all things considered,” Peggy replied.

“You think they’ll be okay?”

Peggy took a moment to think about it.

There was so much more to that question than simply the matter of their relationship. They each had to figure themselves out individually. There was so much healing left to be done - both separately and together.

But Peggy had seen them dancing before they had left to the garden. She had recognized the look in both their eyes as the ones she gave Steve during the war, back when she was terrified of her feelings for him. When circumstances had meant that she couldn’t outwardly reveal that she wanted him, but how her heart ached to call him hers.

Peggy imagined that the way they held each other was the same way Steve would have held her had he been able to make their date at the Stork Club. Tentative and gentle, but clearly never wanting to let go of the person they held.

Not only that, but Peggy had spent enough time in the safe house to overhear plenty of conversations between them. 

Mel never let Bucky feel sorry for himself. When he was with her, Peggy could recognize more of the man he had been during the war. Bucky brought out a softer side to Mel. From what Peggy witnessed, the woman had a quick wit, but his presence seemed to soften the sharpness of her quicker tongue.

If Steve’s return had shown Peggy anything, it was that despite the amount of pain you went through, there was always hope. You just had to be smart enough to choose it when the opportunity presented itself.

“It’ll take time,” she answered finally.

“You’d think that they’ve taken enough time already,” Steve joked half-heartedly.

“In all fairness, it took us two years to do anything so much as kiss. I’m sure Bucky would have said the same thing about us. In fact I’m certain he has already,” Peggy mused.

She could see Steve smiling bashfully from her vantage point in the mirror.

“Yeah, I guess… but, we weren’t this dramatic, were we?”

“I don’t know about _us_ , but I dare say _you’ve_ always been a tad dramatic,” Peggy said, eyes still focused on her own reflection in the mirror as she continued to apply her makeup.

“I resent that,” he said, slipping on his white button down shirt.

Peggy grinned at his slightly petulant tone.

“Oh really darling, you can’t be that surprised. Need I remind you that you are the man who asked me on a date while you were in the middle of crashing a plane in the Arctic Ocean? Hell, you time travelled just so you could be with me. Really Steve, of all things, _time travel_.”

Steve frowned.

“I thought it was romantic.”

Peggy couldn’t help but break out into a grin. She watched him in the mirror as he debated between two ties - one green and one blue.

“It was incredibly romantic,” she agreed, her tone now filled with fondness.

Having finished putting on her lipstick, Peggy crossed to him and took the blue one out of his hands and began tying it around his neck for him.

“The standing point is, my darling, that if we can survive you going into the ice and waking up 70 years in the future, then it’s safe to assume that Bucky and Mel will be just fine.”

“You’re right,” he said softly.

“I know.”

Though she was still focused on his tie, she could feel Steve’s eyes her.

“You’re staring,” she chided him half-heartedly.

“I know,” he responded cheekily.

Peggy smiled and used her hold on Steve’s now fully tied tie to pull him down for a kiss. Though he put his hands on her waist and pulled her closer, they kept the kiss gentle, both of them very aware of each other’s injuries.

When they pulled away, Peggy moved her hands from Steve’s tie to his shoulders. 

“My darling, I know I tease you a lot, but I hope you understand how grateful I am for you, dramatics and all. Perhaps especially those.”

“Why especially those?” Steve asked, his voice filled with curiosity.

“Because it so perfectly encapsulates who you are. You go above and beyond for anyone who needs help, but for those that you love… it’s something else entirely. And to be one of the people you share that side of you with… Well I must say you have me rather spoiled.”

Steve smiled.

“Get used to it. I’m spoiling you for the rest of our lives.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less, darling.”

Despite the way she felt herself getting lost in his smile, Peggy knew there was still so much to worry about.

Maintaining the future of SHIELD as it progressed through its early stages.

HYDRA becoming bolder in their advancements against them. 

Bucky and his recovery.

Keeping her brother safe from the ugly threat Leviathan made him.

“You worry too much,” Steve said softly, snapping her out of the thoughts.

“Can you really blame me for wanting to keep my boys safe?” she admitted gently.

“You don’t have to do it alone,” he reminded her.

“Yes but someone has to keep _you_ safe, what with the way you’re always throwing yourself headfirst into the fire.”

“Look who’s talking,” he retorted.

Peggy grinned.

“We make quite the pair, don’t we?” she teased him.

“Kindred spirits,” he replied, leaning down to kiss her.

Yes, there was a lot to be worried about.

But Peggy could afford to put herself at ease for a moment - at least until Steve’s lips parted from hers.

 

* * *

 

**A Shoebox Apartment in the Bronx, NY**

The woman’s mouth curled into a twisted smile as she read the words on the page.

_Everything went exactly as planned._

_Initiate Phase 2 on my orders._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Much love to my beta, Darcy for being an all around darling.


	19. Time and Healing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the time between chapters, real life is a time right and a half right now, and isn't leaving me nearly as much time as I would like to dedicate to this.
> 
> Nevertheless, enjoy!

**December 30, 1949 - Bucky’s Room, SHIELD Safe House**

The lights are always too bright.

He doesn’t turn them on if he can help it. Living in near-darkness is good enough for him.

Standing upright is difficult - at least for prolonged periods of time.

He doesn’t get up from bed if he can help it. Spending most of the day in bed is good enough for him.

The one thing Bucky can’t help, though, is the fact that neither Steve or Peggy seem to have the same idea as him of what good enough is. They’ve been coming in at all hours to try and coax him back into his old routine bit by bit. 

Bucky hadn’t been fond of the routine before, but he put up with it because the SSR-appointed therapist had convinced him it could actually help his condition, and more selfishly, he liked having guaranteed time to spend with Steve and Peggy in the midst of both of them running around saving the world.

However, this time around he _loathed_ it.

Bucky didn’t have the energy to drag himself to his 11AM appointments. He missed the first one, and though Steve had been gentle and had assured him that it was just a small misstep, he hated the sadness he saw reflected in his friend’s eyes.

However, when he missed the next one, it had been Peggy who had come down and given him grief about it - to put it lightly.

For someone who didn’t believe in any deity, she sure as hell knew how to put the fear of God in a man. He didn’t miss his next appointment.

That didn't mean that he was happy about it.

However, it did mean that Peggy had returned later that day to apologize for taking her stress out on him. In the end, they had a brief conversation where she admitted she was worried about him, and they both admitted that they were concerned about Steve. It had ended on a good note. He let her hug him tightly.

But Bucky still didn’t see the point maintaining the routine anymore.

Despite the rigid schedule that he had followed the first time, he’d still been converted back into The Asset - no matter if it was only for a day. It had only just played a small part in fixing him before, and it sure as hell hadn’t done anything to protect him from it occurring again.

So to hell with their precious goddamn routine.

That was a rude thought. 

He knows that. Steve and Peggy were going above and beyond for him and he owes it to them to try. They’re trying to help in the only way they knew how. They were worried about him. Scared for him.

Hell, _he_ had been scared.

Every time he closed his eyes, he felt needles and metallic equipment poking and prodding him. His head would fill with Russian voices - both old and new. Voices that would repeat his trigger words, successfully turning him into the thing he hated the most.

So Bucky never closed his eyes if he could help it. The night terrors had been bad during the war after he had been experimented on. They got worse after the first time he had been captured.

Needless to say, he hadn’t been getting much sleep since Christmas.

Every now and again, he would see Mel as he walked from one of the medical rooms or therapy sessions to his room.

Most of the time she was with Steph. 

Sometimes she was alone.

Every time they crossed paths, she would look at him.

He would never look back. 

It hurt too much.

It wasn’t that he hated her.

Or maybe he did now.

He didn’t know.

He did know that at the very least he was angry. Upset. 

Most of it was directed at Mel.

Some of it was directed at himself for how he hadn’t been able to sort through his feelings.

Whenever he thought of her, he couldn’t help but think of the way her eyes would sparkle whenever she was pretending that she didn’t think his joke was funny. The way the corners of her mouth would twitch up whenever she was about to retort one of his smart remarks. How her body felt pressed against his as their lips moved together, her fingers tangling themselves in his hair.

With the memory of her tainted by what she had done to him - no matter what the reason, Bucky would always wonder how much of it had been real.

He didn’t know how he had gotten in so deep so fast. She had snuck up on him with her golden hair and bright blue eyes and smart mouth and before he knew it he had fallen for her.

But there was more to it than that. She was the only person who he hadn’t known during the war who treated him just like any other fella, while somehow always knowing what to say when it came to discussing his condition.

 

**November 12th, 1949 - Medical Room, SSR Safe House**

_“Didn’t think I looked that bad today.”_

_Bucky lifted his head up to look at Mel for the first time since they had begun their check up. She hadn’t looked up from where she was writing in her clipboard, just steps away from where he was sitting._

_“What?”_

_“I figured since you haven’t been able to look me in the eye there’s clearly somethingreal unappealing about me right now.”_

_“That’s not it,” he said quietly._

_She lifted her head to look at him._

_“Then what is it?”_

_“I didn’t really think you’d want to talk to me.”_

_“Because you had a small relapse?”_

_“I wouldn’t call it small,” he muttered._

_“Doesn’t matter. It’s over now.”_

_“But it’ll happen again,” he bit out, looking away from her._

_After a few moments of silence between them, Mel crossed to him and sat next to him on the medical bed._

_“Have you ever considered that you can be more than your trauma?”_

_His eyes snapped to look at her. He tried to ignore how their close proximity made his heart skip a beat._

_“What?”_

_“Look, what you went through… The horrors you must have seen and the things that they did to you - I can’t even begin to imagine it. You have every right to be upset and angry and bitter and cope in whatever way you need.”_

_She hesitated for a moment before continuing._

_“But you’re more than what HYDRA did to you. What happened to you doesn’t define you, what does defines you is how you deal with it. You have all the tools at your disposal to allow your personality to shine through again.”_

_“I don’t know if I know what my personality is anymore,” he said evasively._

_“Bullshit. I’ve seen the man you really are. You’re snarky and funny and kind and charming and - ” she stopped herself abruptly, and Bucky couldn’t help but notice how her cheeks had turned slightly pink._

_“Anyway,” she continued after clearing her throat. “You owe it to yourself to fight for the man you are. Just think about it.”_

_She gave him a soft smile and stood to leave._

_“Hey,” he called out when she had reached the doorway._

_Mel stopped and turned to face him._

_“Thanks,” he said softly._

_“Don’t mention it,” she responded with a smile before leaving._

 

**Present Day**

In the end, Bucky was left with more of a longing than anything. To wrap her in his arm and have her tell him that despite what happened, everything that he thought they had together was real.

But Bucky wasn’t naive. Not anymore. They couldn’t just fall back into what they had before.

That didn’t mean that he didn’t miss her.

Maybe he just needed closure.

But that would mean talking to her.

Maybe one day soon.

When he had the energy to get out of bed for more than a few hours at a time.

 

* * *

 

**December 31st, 1949 - SHIELD Headquarters**

Peggy was running late.

That was actually an understatement. She wasn’t just running late, she was running _late_. Almost three hours late.

Unfortunately it wasn’t something that was out of the ordinary. Peggy felt as though she’d been running behind every day since they had returned with Bucky. She had been up to her neck in paperwork and meetings. 

Even though she had set up several task groups of select agents that she trusted to delegate the work against HYDRA and Leviathan, at any given moment she still found herself being pulled in more directions than there were hours in the day.

Peggy finished smoothing out her dress and gave herself a once over in the mirror in her office. She paused to adjust her hair, but was otherwise satisfied with the result. After she had been pulled into a last-minute meeting that had ended up lasting two hours, she was even more grateful for her choice to bring her change of clothing for the evening with her to work that day. 

She grabbed her purse and rushed over to the safe house to see Michael. She had all but ignored him the last few days, barely having a moment outside of meetings to do more than greet him. Though she really wanted to be at home and not spend any more time at SHIELD, Michael was her brother and she owed him at least this much on New Year’s Eve.

“Holy hell Peg, you look gorgeous,” he said in place of greeting.

Peggy smiled.

“Thank you, Michael. Grant has promised to take me dancing tonight so I thought it would only be appropriate to dress for the occasion.”

“Well hopefully you’ll make it there before midnight, considering it might take him a while to pick his jaw up off the floor after he sees you,” he said seriously.

Peggy laughed. 

“Michael, I swear sometimes you flatter me more than Grant does,” she teased.

“I’ve seen him around you enough to know that that is not humanly possible,” he quipped.

Peggy grinned and grabbed his hand.

“Are you certain you don’t want us to celebrate here with you?”

“Peggy-”

“I mean, it is my fault that you’re under strict house arrest. I can call Grant right now and tell him to bring some champagne.”

“Absolutely not. Lord knows you deserve a night off where you’re not babysitting any agents here at SHIELD - myself included.”

Peggy rolled her eyes at her brother.

Why were the men in her life always so dramatic?

“Really Michael, you know I don’t consider it babysitting you.”

“All the same, I could do with less looks of pining from the poor bloke every time you walk by or your name is mentioned in a meeting. You two need a bloody night off together.”

Peggy couldn’t help the way her cheeks flushed.

“Well when you put it like that,” she reasoned.

“It would effectively put the three of us well out of our misery,” he said seriously.

“Shut up,” she muttered.

“You know he’s really good for you,” Michael said instead of teasing her.

Peggy quirked her eyebrow up.

“I do know that, but you’re suddenly sharing your realization of this because?”

“No reason. I just think it’s an obvious observation to anyone who spends more than five minutes with the both of you,” he shrugged, faking nonchalance.

“Michael… are you finally ready to admit that there is someone out there that deserves me?” Peggy asked teasingly.

“Absolutely not. But perhaps you should ask me again if he ever shaves,” he half-conceded.

Peggy couldn’t help but laugh.

“Michael you can’t be serious.”

“I’m completely serious. Really, Peg, it’s as if the man has never heard of a razor. You can’t tell me you’re actually fond of all that facial hair.”

“I never said that I was fond of it, but if the beard is the price I have to pay for loving him, then far be it for me to protest.”

“Whatever you say, Peg.” 

Peggy grinned at her brother.

“Well either way, I’m glad you shared,” she said softly.

Michael smiled softly and hugged her.

“Happy New Year, Peg,” he said.

“Happy New Year, Michael.”

Peggy kissed his cheek and walked out of the room, rushing through the hallways at an impressive speed considering the height of her heels. 

She was always grateful to see her brother, especially considering the lack of time she had spent with him the last few days, but now she wasn’t just really late, she was _extremely late_. 

It was New Year’s Eve and almost midnight and Steve was waiting for her at home and God it was absolutely absurd how much she _missed_ him.

She turned a corner and saw Bucky leaning against the wall. The sight of him caused her to stop abruptly. She gave him an encouraging smile and approached him at a much slower pace than she had just been walking. It hadn’t been more than once or twice that she had seen him voluntarily out of his room since they had brought him back, and she couldn’t contain the happiness that filled her at seeing him out and about. 

Bucky let out a low whistle as he looked her up and down.

“Damn. You look good, Peg,” he greeted.

The compliment didn’t hold his usual charm, and his tone was a tad more flat than sincere, but it was still a compliment.

And he was out of his room.

“I thought I already wished you a good night,” she teased him.

He shrugged.

“Couldn’t stay away, I guess,” he half-joked back.

She raised her eyebrow at him. Peggy wasn’t certain what had put him in a relatively good mood, but she wasn’t about to shut it down by commenting on it.

“Are you saying you’re sweet on me, Bucky?” she teased.

“Maybe it’s just those magic charms you worked on Stevie.”

“I did no such thing to him,” she defended with faux indignation, bringing her hand to her chest.

“You sure did _something_ to him,” he said, eyes pointedly flicking over to her engagement ring. 

“I just convinced him to let me make an honest man out of him is all,” she quipped.

Bucky snorted.

“You know, he was bad enough before the war with the way he talked about romance. But after he met you… I used to think he was crazy-”

He stopped himself abruptly, and Peggy could see the way he immediately retreated into himself. She allowed him a few moments to stare off into space and work through… whatever it was that had pulled him away from their conversation.

“How is she?” Bucky asked quietly after a few moments of silence.

Peggy sighed softly. She didn’t have to ask who he was referring to.

“Why don’t you ask her yourself?”

Bucky averted his gaze.

“You still care for her, don’t you?” she said gently. 

He remained silent, but Peggy knew what his answer was. 

Forget HYDRA or Leviathan. Peggy was certain that Bucky and Mel were going to be the death of her.

“How about I give Steve a call and we all spend New Year’s together?” she offered.

This snapped his attention back to her.

“Uh-uh, no way. You’re going home and having a night out with Steve,” he told her firmly.

She raised her eyebrow at him.

“Bucky-”

“Peggy,” he interrupted. “Don’t cancel your night with him for me.”

“Nonsense. Either way I’d still be spending time with him. It’s no trouble at all, you’re family,” she insisted.

His lips twitched upward. Peggy realized it was the closest thing she had seen to a smile since he had been taken. Taking it as a positive sign, she was about to excuse herself momentarily to call Steve about the change of plans when Bucky spoke up.

“You’ve been running around nonstop for weeks, and it’s been even worse even the last few days with this,” he said, gesturing to himself. “Take the night for yourselves. You both deserve it.”

“But-”

“I’m grateful for all you two do for me, I am. But tonight I want to be alone, and you want to be with your fiancé and he wants to be with you. So don’t keep him waiting any longer.”

“Only if you’re certain-”

“ _I am_ ,” he insisted. 

Peggy felt a warm feeling tug at her heart. How he could be so considerate after the horrors of the last week, she would never be able to understand. 

Though she knew that he had seen how badly Steve needed a break - something that Peggy had also taken note of - and she knew that no matter what, Bucky would always put Steve’s wellbeing first.

One of the things that they both had in common.

She leaned up and kissed his cheek.

“Thank you, Bucky.”

“Don’t mention it. Now you kids have a fun night. Don’t hold back on my account,” he teased her.

Peggy rolled her eyes.

“And you two kids,” she said pointedly as she gestured between him and the general direction of Mel’s room. “Play nice.”

“Not my style, but I’ll try.”

Peggy didn’t miss the way his eyes flickered over to the direction where Mel’s room was.

 

* * *

 

**Peggy Carter and Steve Rogers’ Apartment, Brooklyn, NY**

Steve knew that Peggy was going to be late. 

She had called earlier and apologized profusely, promising that she would be home as soon as she wished Michael a Happy New Year and then they could go out dancing. 

However, he hadn’t expected it to take so long, so he figured that she had gotten called into another last minute meeting or discussion, as had been happening more and more the last few days.

He felt guilty about how much he wished she could be home right now. Peggy did important work, and she more than deserved her new promotion at SHIELD. He wasn’t about to stand in the way of that. 

But the last few days had taken a major toll on him emotionally, and he ached to spend more than ten uninterrupted minutes where he could just hold her and dance and shut away the weight of the last week. He could tell by the way Peggy was having a harder time resisting his tactics to get her to stay in bed longer every morning that she was feeling the same way.

Without warning, Peggy suddenly rushed into their apartment with apologies tumbling from her lips before she even had a chance to fully enter, let alone close the door behind her. However, Steve didn’t register a word when he laid eyes on her.

She had changed out of her black work pants and white blouse into an azure evening dress that hugged her figure perfectly, with a string of pearls dangling from her neck, bringing attention to her cleavage. Her lipstick was as impeccable as ever, and her curls were carefully styled so that they just barely brushed past her shoulders. 

Steve crossed to her as she continued to ramble on breathlessly.

“… and then I ran into Bucky, which isn’t an excuse, but he was actually out of his room of his own volition- ”

He cut her off with a kiss, which she immediately melted into. Steve smiled against her lips and pulled her closer to him. He pulled away after a few minutes, and found Peggy looking at him with a happily dazed expression. One of her hands was tangled in his hair, and the other gripping his shoulder.

Seeing her with her lipstick now smudged and transferred to her chin and her cheeks slightly flushed, Steve couldn’t help but feel slightly possessive.

“Hello to you too,” Peggy murmured, her eyes flicking back to his lips. 

Steve smiled and pulled her into their living room before walking over to their collection of records.

“I thought we were going out,” Peggy asked, though there was a hint of amusement in her voice.

He tried not to feel too smug about the way her eyes roamed over him appreciatively as he put the record on the record player.

“It’s almost midnight. I want at least one dance with you all to myself. Just the two of us, with no one else around,” he told her.

Judging by how Peggy’s entire face brightened as he offered her his hand, Steve knew he had made the right call.

Instead of assuming their regular slow dancing position, Steve guided Peggy’s arms to wrap around his neck, and he wrapped his around her waist.

“What are you doing?” she asked him when he started swaying them.

“Dancing.”

“Have I really taught you so little? This is not dancing,” she informed him.

“Sure it is. Well, it will be,” he said.

Much to his amusement, Peggy’s eyebrow quirked up.

“Is this really how they slow dance in the future?” Peggy asked, slightly incredulous.

“Yeah, it’s pretty popular.”

He couldn’t help but grin when she scoffed.

“This is just hugging while swaying in the same position.”

“Sure, but it makes it this much easier to kiss you,” he reasoned, leaning his face down until their noses were touching.

“I didn’t realize it was such a chore to kiss me, darling,” she teased him.

“Nah. I don’t like chores. But kissing you?” Steve kissed her deeply to punctuate his point. “I can do this all day,” he whispered.

“Please do,” she said breathlessly.

Steve’s grin grew and he held her tighter to him. The next few minutes were spent trading between kissing and dancing, both actions being done while holding each other as close as was practical for dancing.

Eventually, Peggy sighed contentedly and adjusted so that she could rest her head on his shoulder. 

“We can go to bed if you want, dear,” Steve offered gently when he felt her body begin to lean more heavily on his.

“Are you trying to avoid kissing me at midnight, Captain?” she murmured.

“Technically, I’m not a Captain anymore,” he reminded her.

“Technically, you still haven’t answered my question,” she quipped.

“Never,” he said softly.

“Good. There is no way in hell I’m missing the opportunity to start the New Year in your arms,” she said pointedly.

Steve grinned at her words and rested his cheek against the top of her head. He couldn’t help but think that despite what seemed like the countless trials they went through, he had it good.

It seemed that when it came to Peggy, he had always had it good.

 

**January 19th, 1945 - Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes’ Tent, Allied Camp**

“ _You know you got it good, Stevie,” Bucky said as he took off his military jacket._

_“Thought you’d have figured out by now that being Captain America is not all it’s cracked up to be, Buck,” Steve replied, shedding his own jacket._

_“I mean Agent Carter.”_

_“What about her?” he said evasively, though he couldn’t help but feel his cheeks heat up._

_He turned away from Bucky._

_“Nah, don’t play any of that game with me. I know you better than anyone. You like her.”_

_“She’s a good agent,” Steve reasoned as he fiddled with his tie._

_“You carry her goddamn picture in your compass,” Bucky retorted, though his voice was only filled with lighthearted ribbing._

_Steve sighed, slightly resigned. If he hadn’t been able to convince any of the Howlies that there wasn’t anything between him and Peggy when they had first gotten a peak at his compass, he sure as hell wasn’t going to be able to convince Bucky now._

_“What does that have to do with me having it good?” Steve said._

_“She likes you too, dumbass,” Bucky replied as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. “So hurry up and make a move before I do it for you.”_

_Instead of answering, Steve turned and raised his eyebrow at Bucky._

_“Thought you weren’t a fan of her.”_

_“I’m not. She has a major stick up her ass at the best of times.”_

_Steve suddenly felt extremely indignant on her behalf._

_“Bucky-”_

_“But she’s not like that with you,” he continued as if Steve hadn’t spoken. “Have you ever seen the way she is with other fellas? Hell, the way she is with me? I can make any girl melt with a single look, but she only has eyes for you. And I’m talking the real you, not the guy who holds the shield.”_

_“And you say I’m dramatic,” Steve muttered, ignoring the way his heart threatened to beat right out of his chest._

_“Look, I don’t like her but I respect her. She kicks ass and takes no shit. And I do have eyes, you know. She’s a bombshell. She… Carter is no less than what you deserve.”_

_“Even if… Okay let’s say that you maybe … might… be right. How do I just…?”_

_Bucky simply shrugged when Steve trailed off._

_“That’s up to you to figure out. Just don’t wait too long. You have it good now, but a dame like that doesn’t wait around. Neither does a war.”_

 

**Present Day**

Of course, Steve had been an idiot and waited. Waited until Bucky was gone. Then he waited some more until Peggy had made the first move and kissed him just minutes before what they thought was the end. 

Except that it wasn’t the end.

Steve tilted his head back to look at the woman he was holding in his arms and his heart swelled at the sight. 

This woman, who fought through hell and back for their country, for their friends, for _him_. 

This woman who was able to keep him sane in the grimmest of circumstances, who took care of him no matter what they faced.

This striking, fierce, powerhouse of a woman was allowing him - _wanting him_ \- to dance her into the start of the new decade.

Yes, despite everything, Steve had it so much better than good.

“Less than a minute to midnight,” he whispered.

Peggy lifted her head to follow his line of sight to the clock and grinned.

“Any last requests before we enter a new decade?” she asked him.

“Don’t disappear at midnight like Cinderella,” he joked.

Peggy seemed to notice that his tone wasn’t as lighthearted as he had intended.

“Never,” she promised firmly.

Steve glanced at the clock again, and dipped down to kiss Peggy, trying to convey everything he was feeling - grateful, elated, and so _so_ in love.

“Happy New Year, my darling,” she whispered when they parted.

“Happy New Year, my dear,” he responded, nuzzling their noses together.

“Can you believe it? A new decade.” 

“A new decade ripe with possibilities,” Steve agreed.

“A new decade to spend with you,” Peggy said.

“A new _life_ to spend with you,” Steve replied.

Peggy grinned and pulled him down for another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not as much plot in this one, but Peg needs a break - with Steve.
> 
> Much love, as always, to Darcy


	20. Puzzle Pieces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Life is still really busy, but no matter how crazy it is, this story is very important to me, and I'm seeing it through. Thank you all for your patience and kindness.

**January 1st, 1950 - A Shoebox Apartment in the Bronx, NY**

_The timeline for the initiation of Phase 2 has been altered._

_More instructions to follow._

 

* * *

 

**Peggy Carter and Steve Rogers’ Apartment - Brooklyn, NY**

“Should I wear a suit to the wedding?” Steve murmured into Peggy’s hair, his fingertips tracing her bare side lightly.

Though her back was pressed against his chest, hiding her face from him as they lay in bed, he could tell the exact moment she rolled her eyes.

“So long as you aren’t completely nude in front of everyone, whatever you want to wear is fine, darling.”

Steve smiled fondly.

“Even my sweatpants?”

Peggy scoffed.

“If you believe that sweatpants are appropriate wedding attire then I may have to rethink this marriage.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“You’re the one who woke me up early on a Sunday to tell me you’re planning on wearing sweatpants to our wedding.”

“That’s definitely not the reason I woke you up and you know it,” he said, squeezing her hip pointedly. 

He heard Peggy’s breath hitch and he smiled, knowing that he had gotten his point across.

“No, it definitely wasn’t,” she conceded.

Steve kissed her temple and nuzzled his nose into her hair, letting silence fall over them. It had been weeks since they had been granted a lazy Sunday morning in bed together with nothing to worry about except holding each other, and he was planning on enjoying every second of it. 

After a few moments of pondering, Steve spoke up again.

“You know, a part of me always thought I’d wear my uniform - not the Captain America one,” he amended when Peggy let out a small snort. “But my military dress uniform.”

“Really?”

“For starters, it’s a lot less ridiculous than the stars and stripes,” he joked. 

“I agree completely.”

“And I don’t know, when I was in the future, I’d dream about you - a lot - and most of the time in those dreams I was wearing it. I guess I began associating it with coming home.”

“Steve-”

“It’s alright, I’m just thinking out loud,” he deflected.

He held Peggy tighter, reminding himself that he was home. He made it home to her without the military uniform. 

“I had no idea it meant so much to you,” she said softly.

“It’s not that important. Besides, it’s probably with my footlocker, and who knows where that ended up. They told me in the future that it was missing. With everything else going on, I never bothered to look for it.”

Steve felt Peggy tense up in his arms and he frowned slightly.

“Peggy?”

“I may actually know where we can find it,” she said quietly.

“What?”

Peggy wiggled herself out of his arms and sat up, her back still facing him. She reached for her robe and covered herself before standing up and walking over to their closet. Steve furrowed his eyebrows and leaned up on his elbow as she knelt down and began digging through it. Peggy pulled out two boxes and a few blankets and set them aside. 

After a few more moments of her rummaging, Steve’s curiosity got the better of him. He sat up and put on his sweatpants, crossing to her and kneeling down beside her. Suddenly, she froze, and he noticed her breath catch in her throat, but didn’t say anything about it.

Slowly, she pulled out what was unmistakably his footlocker. He had figured that this was the direction she was heading in, but seeing it in Peggy’s hands was a completely different story. He felt a small lump form in his throat.

“You have it?” he asked softly.

She smiled sadly, never taking her eyes off of it.

“Courtesy of the Howling Commandos. Right before I left for America after the war, I met with Dugan and the lot of them to say goodbye. They arrived with this in tow and told me I should be the one to have it.”

“How’d they get it?”

“I suspect Phillips had something to do with it. Considering you had no next of kin, the government would have most likely snatched this up had they not interfered. I should have given it to you sooner, but quite truthfully I had forgotten that it was still in my possession.”

For a moment, Peggy’s eyes seemed to go distant. Steve recognized that look as the haunted one he normally saw after she had after one of her nightmares and hadn’t quite been able to shake it off entirely. 

Before he could reach out to comfort her, she cleared her throat and shook her head slightly.

“But now it can go back to its rightful owner,” she said as she handed it to him.

Steve gingerly took it from her, tracing his fingers over the plain box. It was smaller than he remembered. Everything that had been left of his old life had somehow fit into this box. 

He placed it on the ground in front of him and opened it, pulling out the drawer at the top. It had two pencils, a few pairs of socks in it, a pack of cards and a few medals that he hadn’t cared to pin to his uniform. 

His uniform was neatly folded at the top of the lower portion. The corners of Steve’s mouth quirked up slightly. He couldn’t fold that well to save his life. This was definitely Peggy’s doing. 

He took out the uniform, taking the care to make sure that he didn’t ruin Peggy’s folding. As Steve took a moment to trace his hands over it, a false Peggy’s voice drifted into his mind.

_The war is over, Steve. We can go home._

What he had never told anyone, was that he had had that dream more times than he could count. He would always be in his military uniform, and Peggy would be in a different dress every so often. She would always tell him that he could go home, followed by him bringing her closer and holding her, ready to dance the night away, just like he had promised.

When Wanda had infiltrated his mind, he knew almost immediately it was just another dream that he would never be able to have. She never told him, but he suspected she knew that too. He was probably her easiest target that night.

He felt a sudden pang in his chest at remembering his old friend. Wanda was one of the people that he had left behind in his pursuit of peace and happiness.

Not for the first time, his mind whispered doubts about his decision as he thought more about the others. Sam, Bucky, and Bruce.

Tony and Natasha. 

The two that hadn’t given him a chance to abandon them. What would they think about the life he had chosen, knowing that it meant leaving his team behind?

“Steve?”

Steve quickly shook those thoughts away and gave her a small smile. 

He was in 1950. 

The Peggy by his side - his fiancée - was real.

She wasn’t going anywhere.

And neither was he.

Setting the uniform aside, he reached for the only other item of value to him from the footlocker.

His sketchbook.

He opened it and began to slowly comb through the pages. There were sketches of the scenery - the various countries they travelled through, the camps they lived in. Sketches of Bucky, Dugan, and the rest of the Howling Commandos during various missions. Interspersed between those there were multiple drawings of Peggy. 

This book held more of his war life than the rest of his footlocker combined.

“Did you ever look through it?” he asked when he noticed Peggy’s eyes practically burning a whole into the book.

“No,” she admitted quietly. “To my knowledge, you had never shown them to anyone. As strange as it sounds, I thought you deserved to maintain that privacy, even in death.”

Steve swallowed thickly and shut the book, setting it back into the footlocker.

“You know, the fellas got it right.”

“What do you mean?”

“You were the right person to keep this safe.”

She gave him a small smile.

“It was the least I could do considering-”

“Stop,” he interrupted.

Peggy frowned at him.

“Stop what?”

“I know where your mind was headed. You have never failed me, Peggy.”

“Steve-”

“I mean it.”

She locked eyes with him, and he could tell that she wanted to argue, that she still felt that it was her fault for not being able to save him. Even if he didn’t know her so well, Howard had confessed to him drunkenly one night shortly after his return how the both of them had taken care of each other while grappling with guilt and grief.

“I know you do,” she said simply.

Knowing that it meant a lot for Peggy not to argue this point with him, Steve leaned over to kiss her gently. When they parted, he turned his attention to gingerly putting his uniform back into his footlocker. Peggy watched him intently. 

“Darling?”

“Yes, dear?”

“What would you say to moving the wedding up?”

Steve raised his eyebrow at her.

“Oh?”

She shuffled toward him and took his hands in hers.

“I appreciate the grand gesture of waiting and making the proposal so lovely, but I don’t want to wait anymore. I want to be your wife. Now.”

Steve grinned slowly. 

“So you’re saying you are okay with me getting married in sweatpants. That is to say, if we get married right this instant.”

Peggy rolled her eyes.

“Bugger off, you know that’s not what I meant. We both know what we’re wearing and Howard is providing us with the location. As long as the Commandos can still fly in, I don’t see any reason why we have to wait.”

Steve’s grin grew.

“Me either.”

“So we’ll move it up?”

“We’ll get married as soon as possible,” he promised.

She grinned widely, and Steve felt taken aback by how radiant she was.

He stood and pulled her up to his level, kissing her deeply. Before she could say anything after their lips parted, Steve scooped her up in his arms.

“ _Steve,_ ” she huffed out, but he could hear the amusement in her voice.

“What? We’re celebrating.”

“What are we celebrating?”

“Not waiting.”

Peggy grinned.

“Captain Rogers you really are insatiable,” she chided him lightheartedly as he laid her down on the bed.

“I blame you,” he murmured, unravelling her robe and kissing his way down her body.

“What are you going to do about it?” she challenged.

Steve grinned and brought one of Peggy’s legs over his shoulder, ready to show her exactly what he had planned in terms of a celebration.

 

* * *

 

**SHIELD Safe House**

Mel was having a bad day.

To be fair, most of her days were bad days lately. 

When she became her sister’s legal guardian almost five years ago, she had no idea how to raise a kid.

Now being trapped inside a safe house after having unintentionally entangled her sister with HYDRA, she was more lost than ever on what the right strategy was. She didn’t even know if there was a “right strategy” at this point.

Mel knew that she would have to figure something out soon. When she took Steph from their mother’s home, it was supposed to be so that she could give her a better life.

_Look how well that’s turning out_ , her mind taunted her.

Mel walked toward the safe house kitchen, hoping to sneak Steph some extra dessert to lighten their spirits. Before she got there though, she ran into Marissa - quite literally, dropping files all over the ground.

“Shit, sorry,” Mel apologized as she helped gather all the files.

“No it’s fine, I’m the one running around like a chicken with their head cut off,” Marissa said.

When Mel looked up to hand her the files she had picked up, she frowned upon noticing how her friend’s eyes were red-rimmed.

“Have you been crying?”

“It’s nothing,” Marissa said evasively.

“Look, I know I’ve fucked up royally, but I’m still your friend. You can always talk to me.”

Marissa sighed shakily. She looked as though she was ready to break.

There seemed to be a lot of that going around these days.

“My mom hasn’t been doing great and I’m her sole caretaker. I know she doesn’t have much time left and I feel so guilty not being by her side as much as I should, but I have to work to pay for rent and bills and food and her medical bills and-”

“Let me cover for you,” Mel offered immediately.

Marissa’s eyes widened.

“What?”

“I know how important it is to be at your mom’s side at the end. She needs you. And I’ve worked here so I know the drill, no training required. Easy.”

Marissa’s eyes looked incredibly conflicted as she pondered over Mel’s offer.

“I don’t know Mel…”

“Look, I understand that I’m the last person anyone trusts right now, but you need to be with your mom and I can help.”

“We could get in trouble. _I will_ get in trouble,” Marissa corrected herself.

“I won’t let that happen,” Mel promised.

After a few moments, Marissa sighed softly and nodded.

“Thank you. Um, everything you need to know about tonight is in these files. You know my home line, which is where I’ll be tonight with mom so I can always run right back over.”

“There won’t be any need for that. Now go.”

Marissa nodded gratefully and handed Mel the stack files before rushing off. Mel skimmed them over and found that it would be a relatively easy shift. There were no appointments on the docket, and Marissa was mostly in charge of amenity restocking tonight. 

She headed to the first room and began re-making the bed and restocking supplies. Mel smiled slightly, feeling a sense of purpose wash over her that she hadn’t had in weeks.

She was humming softly to herself, hands filled with supplies that she was reordering on a table when she heard footsteps behind her, causing her to look up.

Her breath caught in her throat.

Bucky.

They stared at each other for a few moments before Mel cleared her throat. He made no movement from where he stood in the doorway.

He looked tired. Thinner.

And there was an anger bubbling underneath his surface that unsettled her.

“Hi,” she said quietly.

He frowned slightly.

“Hi.”

Mel swallowed thickly.

“Bucky-”

“What are you doing?”

“What?”

He looked pointedly at the bandaids she was still holding.

“Oh, um. I’m covering for Marissa,” she said, setting them down in their place.

“You don’t work here.”

“I know. But she needed help and I was available.”

“You’re real good at that. Helping.”

Mel tensed at his accusatory tone.

“I don’t understand,” she said slowly.

“You’re just really good at putting other people before you.”

Mel’s heart sunk.

“Bucky, I didn’t want to hurt you-”

“Don’t bullshit me,” he snapped, his eyes glowing with rage.

“I’m not. What we had, everything I said to you - Bucky, it was all real. I meant everything.”

“Do you really expect me to believe that after what you did to me?”

“I don’t expect you to. But you need to know that I didn’t want to do it but I had no choice-”

“You could have told me.”

“But then they would have killed Steph! What was I supposed to do?”

“I don’t know, Mel,” he threw his hand up in frustration.

“I did what-”

“You did what was right for Steph, yeah, I got that,” he snapped. “I might have even understood. But you asked me to dance-”

“Bucky-”

“You asked me to dance and then dragged me out into the garden and kissed me.”

He was steadily approaching her as he continued, and Mel stiffened.

“Why kiss me if you were just going to hand me over?”

“I wasn’t planning on it. I didn’t lead you out there with that intention in mind it just happened-”

“So seducing me wasn’t part of this master plan?” he said sarcastically.

“Master plan - _no_. Bucky, I just - I kissed you because I really like you-”

Bucky let out a sharp staccato laugh, causing her to flinch.

“Don’t bother. You had your fun while you could, because for all you pretend to be otherwise, you’re more selfish than you think.”

His words cut through her like a knife. Mel felt as though she had been slapped.  Both of them remained in silence for a few moments, staring at each other, hurt plain on both their faces.

Mel spoke slowly, her voice tight and trembling.

“I know I really hurt you. I’m sorry that I did and I have been beating myself up about it every day since. But I don’t regret protecting my sister, and regardless, you do _not_ get to talk to me like that because _you don’t know shit about me,_ ” she spat.

Something small shifted in Bucky’s face, and for a moment, Mel thought he might actually have regretted what he said.

She didn’t stick around to find out.

With tears burning in her eyes, she pushed past him and walked toward the next room she had to check on.

She had failed so many people in her life, she wasn’t about to let Marissa down too.

Bucky didn’t follow her.

As Mel methodically folded sheets and restocked supplies with shaky hands for the next few hours, she couldn’t get her mother’s voice out of her head.

_You’re more selfish than you know, Melanie._

 

* * *

 

**January 2nd, 1950 - A File Room, SHIELD New York Headquarters**

“Darling, I’ve been thinking-”

“So nothing out of the ordinary,” Steve teased her as he grabbed a box that was out of her reach.

He wasn’t surprised when Peggy pinched his side lightly.

“Hey! It was a compliment.”

Peggy rolled her eyes, but he could see the fondness in her expression as she opened the box and began to look through it.

“As I was saying, I’ve been thinking, and I’ve decided that I want to call you Steve-”

“Which is radically different from what you’ve been calling me this entire time,” he interrupted teasingly.

“Well you’ve turned into quite the jokester now, haven’t you?” she quipped. “I mean I want to call you Steve during the ceremony. When we get married.”

He froze and turned to look at her properly.

“Peggy, everyone knows me as Grant-”

“Not everyone. We keep the ceremony to those who know who you really are. That way I can officially marry _you_. You’re the one I’m promising my life and love to, not Grant Carter, and that’s what I want to be reflected in the ceremony.”

Steve smiled slowly.

“I’d really like that,” he said softly.

“Me too.”

“That means an intimate ceremony. Bucky and the Howlies.”

“Howard, the Jarvis’, and Phillips - which is convenient since he is officiating.”

Steve looked at her curiously and waited for her to continue, but she never did. He saw the slightest hesitation in her eyes and decided to ask about the people they were both thinking of.

“What about Michael and Angie?”

Peggy took a deep breath.

“I understand it’s not my secret to tell,” she began slowly. “But I also want them there. Michael’s my brother and Angie is as good as my sister. They mean the world to me, and I know they’ll keep your secret. We can trust them.”

“Okay.”

“What?”

“We’ll tell them,” he reiterated.

Peggy’s head perked up.

“You mean it?”

“You’re marrying me, which means this is our secret, not just mine. I know how important they are to you, and if you trust them, so do I. We’re in this together.”

If he had any doubts about his answer, the way that Peggy’s entire face lit up washed them away.

“Thank you, my darling. _Thank you_.”

Steve pulled her to him by her waist.

“I told you, we’re a team.”

Peggy grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him down for a kiss.

 

* * *

 

**January 3rd, 1950 - Peggy Carter and Steve Rogers’ Apartment, Brooklyn, NY**

Peggy opened the door when she heard the knock.

“English!” her friend greeted happily. 

“Hello Angie,” she said as she hugged her tightly. “Goodness I’ve missed you.”

“And who’s fault is that?”

Peggy scoffed and rolled her eyes.

“You know I’ve been busy-”

“Yeah yeah we all know you’re busy being some hotshot secret agent who’s saving the world from evil.”

“ _Angie_ ,” she scolded, very aware that she had barely closed the door before Angie’s comment.

Even though she had never directly told Angie anything about her work, after the entire ordeal at the Griffith, she didn’t have to. Not only that, but Angie loved bringing it up every now and again to tease her, though it was clear that she was proud of her friend.

“Alright, I’ll be quiet about it, but only if you promise me dinner this week,” she winked.

“Deal.”

“Who’s this fella?” Angie asked, finally looking into the apartment and straight past Steve to where Michael stood beside him.

“Michael Carter, Peggy’s brother. Enchanted.”

If it wasn’t her best friend and her brother, Peggy would have laughed at the way Angie’s eyes went wide when Michael kissed her hand in greeting.

“Angie Martinelli. Peggy’s best friend,” she introduced herself before turning to Peggy and whispering loudly. “Are there any other mysterious, handsome men you’ve been hiding from me, English?”

Peggy didn’t laugh at her friend’s comment, but she did snort.

“Never mind that, Angie, we’ve brought you both here for an important reason. We wanted to talk about the wedding,” she explained, gesturing to the screen they had set up in their living area.

“You know if you wanted to watch a film, they have special theatres just for that, English,” Angie teased, though she was clearly intrigued by the set up. 

For his part, Michael seemed to be a bit too intrigued by Angie, but Peggy ignored that for the time being and rolled her eyes at Angie’s comment.

She looked toward Steve. He meant it when he told her that this was their secret to share, but it was still his right to make the final call.

There wasn’t a trace of doubt in his eyes and she gave him a soft, grateful smile before looking back to Angie and Michael.

“Sit,” she ordered them.

“Peg-”

“We’ll be holding our questions until the end,” she interrupted Michael.

He and Angie looked between each other with a bit too much familiarity and sat down as Peggy drew the curtains shut, and Steve started the series of films.

Having let Steve choose what to show Michael and Angie, Peggy had yet to see what they were about to show them. Though she surmised there wasn’t much that could surprise her, she had seen almost every piece of Captain America related newsreel that was filmed during the war as part of her job.

The film began, playing a low risk surveillance and recon mission that the Howling Commandos had done, led by their fearless leader.

The next one began.

Steve was returning to camp, Bucky at his side, the rest of the men trailing behind them. Steve looked over and stopped suddenly, unaware that his friend was still speaking to him. Frowning, Bucky looked over and developed a shit-eating grin on his face. He looked at the camera and gave a subtle nod in the direction that Steve was looking. 

The camera followed Steve’s gaze until it landed on Peggy, who was in conversation with another soldier. The soldier left and Peggy looked over in Steve’s direction. The moment she saw him became clear when her mouth formed a soft, relieved smile at his return.

The camera panned out to show them looking at the other - Bucky and the Howling Commandos having conveniently disappeared. Both remained unmoving for a moment before Peggy realized that the camera was there. Her smile faltered and she nodded at Steve politely before walking away. Steve frowned slightly and watched her leave, longing clear in his eyes.

Peggy remembered that moment very clearly. As she had never seen this newsreel, she had no idea that they had kept that little bit of film - or how much they had caught of that moment in the first place.

One small stolen moment of many that they were gifted.

One small stolen moment of many that she clung to after she lost him.

The next one began, and Peggy recognized it immediately. The Howling Commandos were on the back of a truck. The camera moved closer to Steve - who was leaned over a map - as he pulled out his compass and opened it. The camera moved in closer on Peggy’s picture inside his compass, until Steve realized what was happening, and he hid it from sight. However, the damage had been done. It was clear to the world that Captain America was carrying Agent Carter’s photo in his compass.

Peggy remembered watching that film for the first time. Hardly daring to look over at Colonel Phillips who was boring a whole into her when he saw the photo, she had beengrateful for the half dark room that helped hide her deep blush. 

The film ended, and Peggy stood to open the curtains to let in light. When she turned back around, she found Michael and Angie looking between her and Steve curiously. Both seemed reluctant to speak first - which was extremely out of character for both of them.

“Not that that wasn’t sweet, but what does that have to do with the wedding, English?” Angie asked slowly and carefully.

“You’ve never been one for trips down memory lane, Peg,” Michael added.

“This is about more than just sentimentality,” Peggy told them. 

“Then what is this about?” Michael asked them.  


“We showed you that first so that you would believe what we’re about to tell you when we show you this,” Steve said, reaching into his pocket, pulling out his compass.

Angie and Michael both stared at him cautiously as he opened it, revealing Peggy’s picture. The outside was now slightly rusted, and the picture inside was much more faded than the one they had just seen, but there wasn’t a shadow of a doubt that it was the same compass. Both of Angie and Michael’s eyes widened.

“That’s not - Is that Captain America’s compass?” Angie asked, though she already knew the answer.

“It is,” Steve confirmed.

“How can you have that?” Michael asked, matching Angie’s bewilderment.

“Michael, Angie, I’d like you to meet Captain Steve Rogers.”

“ _Holy shit_ ,” Angie said, gaping at them. “You’re really him?”

Steve nodded.

“I am.”

“You died,” she said bluntly.

“My plane went down, but I didn’t die,” he corrected.

“But how on earth could you survive that?” Michael asked.

“It’s… complicated,” Steve said carefully.

“I’d say it’s more than complicated when a man goes into the ice and reappears _four years_ later,” Michael told him pointedly.

“Why didn’t you come back sooner?” Angie asked, looking at Steve curiously.

“There were things keeping him from being able to come home,” Peggy answered for him, her voice tight.

“But what matters is that I’m here to stay,” Steve said firmly.

She looked up at Steve to find him looking at her intently.

“I promise,” he said in a softer voice, wrapping his arm around her waist.

“I know,” she said quietly.

“Why the beard and alias? Why not tell the world you’re back?” Michael asked bluntly, interrupting their moment.

Peggy cleared her throat and looked at her brother, though Steve’s hand never moved from its place on her waist. If anything, his grip tightened ever so slightly as he answered him.

“I’ve fought and almost died for my country. Coming back as Captain America would mean throwing myself back in the field permanently, and though I’m still committed to helping this country, that’s not what I wanted when I came back. I wanted peace, and a quieter life-”

“With Peggy,” Angie interrupted pointedly, a smile tugging at her lips. 

“With Peggy,” Steve agreed, smiling unabashedly.

“So why tell us now?” Michael asked slowly. 

Peggy could tell that he was still taken aback - and maybe even wary - at this new revelation.

“We’ve decided to have an intimate ceremony with only those who know the truth. I didn’t want to have to call Steve by another name when I’m marrying him. We’re telling you because I desperately wanted you both to be there as well.”

“Awe, English, you’ve gone soft on me,” Angie teased, though her voice betrayed how affected she felt.

“Contrary to what you may think, you do mean a great deal to me,” Peggy teased her friend.

Angie grinned.

“Who would’ve thought you’d be marrying _the_ Captain America?” she asked her friend conspiratorially.

“I don’t care that he’s Captain America,” Peggy told her.

“I know you don’t, but I do. And I have so many questions coming your way, English.”

Peggy raised her eyebrow.

“You’ve known about my involvement with Steve for years now. Why haven’t you asked already?”

“I didn’t want to hurt you more by bringing him up,” Angie shrugged.

Peggy felt Steve press his lips against her temple, a silent apology for something that was completely out of his control. She put her hand over his heart, telling him without words that there was no need to apologize.

Steve smiled softly at her and tightened his hold around her waist. Angie looked between them with a large smile. 

Michael was still too quiet for her liking, but Peggy knew that he would understand soon enough.

 

* * *

 

**January 4th, 1950 - Peggy Carter’s Office, SHIELD New York Headquarters**

Peggy looked up when Michael walked into her office without so much as knocking. She raised her eyebrow at him.

“What is it, Michael?”

“We need to talk.”

“About?”

“Captain America,” he said.

Peggy sighed and gestured for him to close the door. She half expected this already after his concerning reaction of the discovery of “Grant’s” true identity.

“What about him?”

“Look, I know that I’ve lived in a sort of bubble what with being stuck with Leviathan for nearly a decade but no one could turn a blind eye to Captain America and what he was doing for the Allies. I never knew many details, but he was creating trouble for the Nazis. When he died…” he trailed off, as if deciding what the best way was to go about this.

“Out with it Michael,” she said through gritted teeth, standing up.

“That’s it Peggy, he died. How could one simply survive a plane crash into the Pacific Ocean near Japan?”

“It was the Arctic,” Peggy corrected.

“What?”

“It was the Arctic. The public was told a different story so that if any of our enemies tried to find him, they’d be horribly unsuccessful.”

This new information didn’t seem to appease any of Michael’s concerns.

“Well then how did he survive crashing into the Arctic?”

“It’s complicated,” she repeated.

“So he offered you no explanation?”

“Michael what are you getting at?”

“Is it really him?”

Peggy felt like she had been punched in the gut.

“What?” she asked in a hardly controlled voice.

Michael looked at her with sad eyes, as though he was sorry for having to be the one to deliver this revelation.

“Peg, no one could survive something like that… not even Captain America.”

She clenched her jaw.

“But he did. He survived _because_ he’s Captain America.”

Michael looked at her incredulously. He looked as frustrated as she felt. Both of their voices had been rising steadily throughout their argument, and she knew it wouldn’t be long before one of them broke and started shouting all together.

“How can you be sure someone isn’t using him against you? He could have been planted to harm you.”

“No.”

“Peggy-”

“You don’t think I haven’t thought of that?” she snapped.

She took Michael’s shock at her outburst as an opportunity to continue.

“If there is anyone who should be sceptical of him it’s me. _I was there_ , Michael. I talked to him until the second his plane crashed into the water. I listened on the radio as he died.” 

Michael’s face fell.

“Peg-”

“Howard spent _years_ searching for him to no avail,” she continued as if he hadn’t interrupted her. “When he showed up at my doorstep, four years later I thought he was an impostor, sent by someone to destroy me. Of course that was my first thought.”

Peggy blinked rapidly, trying to keep her tears at bay.

Steve was here and alive, she had no reason to break.

“But he has proved to me time and again that it’s him. I tested him for weeks after he first came back. To this day I sometimes wake up in a panic and test him. But he has, without fail, shown me that he’s Steve Rogers. _My_ Steve.”

They both remained silent for a few moments, Michael letting Peggy’s words wash over him. Peggy leaned back against her desk, pinching the bridge of her nose and shutting her eyes. 

She felt lightheaded from the whole ordeal. She tried to chalk it up to the fact that she hadn’t eaten yet today.

“I’m so sorry Peg. I had no idea. I just… I didn’t want you to get hurt.”

She gave him a hard look.

“Michael, you have to trust me. I am more than capable of taking care of myself.”

“I know you are,” he assured her before pausing for a moment. “I suppose after he revealed this secret, I was worried what else could be hidden beneath the surface.” 

“There’s nothing else hidden,” she said tightly.

Michael hesitated for a moment and she knew he was fighting his instinct to continue his line of questioning.

“I won’t question him again unless he gives me reason to.”

“Thank you, Michael.”

“Thank you, for finally telling me.”

Peggy sighed.

“It’s my wedding ceremony Michael, I couldn’t not have you there. Steve was gracious enough to allow me to share his secret with both you and Angie so we could make that happen.”

He gave her a small, genuine smile, which she reciprocated.

“There’s more that I’d like to discuss, however,” Michael said.

Peggy sighed deeply, her smile fading.

“What else could there possibly be?”

“It’s been almost two months since I’ve been here. But Leviathan has done nothing.”

“I know.”

“But they have to have had something in the works already. A contingency - other than you - in case I actually ever left. Why take so long to act?”

Peggy pursed her lips, thinking it over.

“We’ve never considered that it could have just been an attempt to mislead us.”

“But it isn’t in Leviathan’s style to give out an empty threat.”

“No, but people in desperate situations act irrationally. They make mistakes. They may even be scrambling.”

“Are they really that desperate?”

“If not then they’re close, especially considering they lost you, which outside the Red Room, was potentially their biggest asset.”

Peggy’s eyes slowly widened in realization. Michael’s furrowed his brows as he waited for her to continue.

“The Asset,” she said quietly.

“What?”

“HYDRA has been stopping at nothing to get Bucky back.”

“Yes we know that. But what does HYDRA’s obsession with Barnes have to do with Leviathan’s plot?”

“What if they’re not waiting to come up with something. What if they’re waiting for permission to act on what they already have?”

“What?”

“What if HYDRA and Leviathan are working together? We’re here chasing two threats and keep coming up short on both accounts, but maybe it’s because we’re only seeing half of the picture.”

“But Peggy that’s-”

“Cut off one head, two more grow in its place. HYDRA’s motto.”

“Leviathan was established before you nearly wiped HYDRA out during the war,” he pointed out.

“But what if that’s when they joined forces? HYDRA was weak and needed an ally to take the forefront of their work - and attention - while they rebuilt and re-strategized.”

Peggy felt as though her head was being lifted out of the fog. She could practically see the puzzle pieces coming together slowly as she paced her office.

“Alright,” Michael said slowly. “Let’s say they’re working together. Barnes is a part of their plan?”

“Turn him into the Asset, give him a new arm and they have the perfect weapon to do the damage and take the fall if necessary.”

“Couldn’t they just create an army of Assets just like him?”

Peggy shook her head furiously.

“In order to be efficient and successful, they would need at best Erskine’s super soldier formula, or at the very least Steve’s blood. They have neither, not even current access to Bucky’s blood. Even if they took some of Bucky’s blood from earlier, it wouldn’t be enough for to create another super soldier, let alone an army of them. They’d have to work with the one enhanced human they have - him.”

“It only takes one to start a revolution,” Michael conceded.

“But it has to be the right one.”

“Placed in the proper place at the proper time.”

“But what is that proper place and time? They’ve had months already. They’ve even taken him back and yet-”

Peggy stopped dead in her tracks, remembering Michael’s concerns about Steve’s return.

“A plant,” she whispered.

Michael furrowed his brows.

“A plant?”

“Maybe that was the point. To have us plant him back here,” she realized out loud.

“They needed us to take him back,” Michael agreed as he realized where Peggy’s thoughts were headed.

“To do what?”

“Lead them here?”

“Or to get something from us.”

“Because we trust him.”

“We let our guard down because they know he’s important to us.”

“But that would mean that he’d have to still be under their control. He’s been relatively normal. No sign of brainwashing.”

“Steve would have noticed if something was too far out of the ordinary with him,” she agreed, humming in thought before turning back to Michael. “Steve said he needs the sequence of words in order to be converted back.”

“But no one here knows those words.”

“But what if they managed to get those words through to him anyway?” 

“They have typewriters that are connected and can send and receive messages from one another no matter the distance,” Michael told her. “It’s entirely plausible they could find a way to deliver the trigger words to him. Or something else.”

“Either way, it’s most logical that something has been planted here. Most likely, it has to do with Barnes.”

“Are we sure?”

“Michael, we can’t be sure of anything, but right now, it’s what we’ve got.”

He nodded in understanding.

“Where is Barnes right now?” Michael asked.

Peggy’s heart dropped.

“In the safe house. With Steve.”

She immediately ran out of her office and began sprinting toward the safe house, Michael hot on her heels.

Peggy only hoped she wasn’t too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eternal gratitude to my darling friend and beta, Darcy.
> 
> Let me know what you think! I love hearing your thoughts/reactions/theories.


	21. Dominoes (Falling into Place)

**Bucky’s Room - SHIELD Safe House**

Peggy rushed into Bucky’s room without knocking, Michael right behind her. Steve and Bucky were there, and they both gave the siblings confused looks upon their abrupt entrance.

“What’s wrong?” Steve asked, immediately on edge.

Peggy hardly heard him, choosing instead to sit on the edge of the bed in front of where Bucky was currently sitting.

“What the hell are you doing?” Bucky asked.

“How are you feeling?” she asked him gently.

Though her mind was spinning, she knew she needed to attempt to remain calm if she would be able to piece together the entirety of Leviathan and HYDRA’s plan.

“I’ll feel fine when you tell me why you two are here.”

“Do you have any lapses in your memory since you’ve come back?”

“Lapses? Why do you care about lapses?”

“Just answer the damn question, Bucky,” she pleaded softly.

“I remember everything… I think.”

“Were there any moments where you felt as though you weren’t in control?”

“Control is about context,” he muttered.

“Bucky, I’m serious.”

“So am I,” he shrugged.

Peggy sighed deeply and pinched the bridge of her nose. Between Steve’s gaze burning a hole into the back of her head and the stress-induced nausea that was steadily rising in the back of her throat, she was having difficulty being able to see the pieces clearly.

“Michael, search the room,” she ordered finally.

“For what?” the three men asked in unison.

“Anything that could transmit anything into or out of here. Anything that reminds you of Leviathan’s typewriter technology. Just anything out of the ordinary. _Anything_.”

Peggy ran a hand through her hair. There were things that she wasn’t seeing, crucial things she was missing.

“Peggy,” Steve said firmly. “Talk to me,”

She looked over at him to find his eyebrows furrowed in concern.

“Leviathan and HYDRA. They’re working together and they’re going to strike.”

“Using me,” Bucky realized out loud from where he was still sitting.

She turned sharply toward him, feeling almost dizzy at the sharp movement.

“How?” Steve asked.

“I… I don’t know, but it’s the only thing that makes sense right now,” Peggy told them.

“I’m still having trouble remembering what happened when they changed me back. Normally, I can remember everything, I just can’t control it,” Bucky offered slowly, and Peggy could see the gears in his head turning as fast as hers.

“Why would they block your memories now when they haven’t before?” Michael asked.

“Because they didn’t want him to tell us about something that happened when they took him back,” Steve answered.

“Now,” Peggy began, standing up abruptly and beginning to pace. “They need access from the inside, and the way they can do that is if they planted something to get to Bucky and turn him back using his sequence of words-”

“Peggy,” Steve interrupted.

“But then how would they have planted it? Bucky didn’t have anything on him when-” 

“Peggy, _breathe_ , you’re looking a bit pale.”

“Steve, we don’t know how they’re planning on striking. And I’m so close I just need-”

“ _Peggy_ -”

Peggy shook her head sharply to silence him, but soon realized that it was the wrong thing to do when her vision started to blur. She tried to take a step forward but slowly felt her knees buckle. She barely felt Steve’s arms catch her before everything went black.

 

* * *

 

When Peggy woke up, she was in Steve’s arms, both Michael and Bucky standing close behind him. She made a small noise of protest as she blinked her eyes open, trying to orient herself. Through the fog of her mind, she could hear Steve saying her name repeatedly, his voice a gentle light guiding her back to complete consciousness.

“Steve?” she murmured.

“I’m here,” he said softly, stroking her cheek with his knuckles.

She slowly sat up, realizing that she was still in Bucky’s room. Steve looked as though he had been ready to carry her to a medical room, meaning that she hadn’t been out for more than a few seconds since he hadn’t had a chance to do so yet.

Though with the way Steve was looking at her, one would think that she had been unconscious for a month.

“I’m fine, my darling,” she assured him after she had finished sitting up properly.

“You’re still pale.”

“I just haven’t eaten today, I’m fine,” she explained, standing up shakily.

Steve was quick to help, and the only thing that kept her from rolling her eyes was the fact that he still looked so worried he resembled a puppy.

“You need to see a doctor,” he told her.

“I will after we figure out how HYDRA and Leviathan have planned to infiltrate us, and what their ultimate goal is.”

“You _just_ collapsed.”

“And I’m already standing upright.”

“Peggy _please_.”

She went to argue, but when she saw the look of pure concern and fear in his eyes she stopped short. She raised a hand to cup his cheek, and he turned his head to kiss her palm gently. Despite her stubbornness, this action only softened her resolve further.

“Let’s work through this first? Together? I promise I’ll eat while we do and I’ll go to a doctor first thing tomorrow.”

Steve frowned, but didn’t argue.

“Fine,” he begrudgingly conceded.

“Thank you. Now, Michael, call Howard and have him come here immediately, maybe he’ll be able to find something with his equipment, and if not, he may be able to figure out how to recover the gaps in Bucky’s memories. They may be the missing clue we need. Steve I need you to-”

“I’m going to get you something to eat,” he interrupted.

Peggy looked at him pointedly.

“Steve I can-”

“What if you collapse again on the way there?”

“Are you serious?”

“Deadly. You stay here and I’ll get you food.”

Peggy huffed.

“You’re terribly stubborn, you know that?”

He gave her a small smile. 

“And you love me for it,” he quipped.

Peggy rolled her eyes and fought off a smile.

“Then in that case, I wouldn’t say no to a cup of tea as well, darling.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

 

* * *

 

When Steve returned with food and tea in hand, Howard had arrived and was moving some device around the room that Steve assumed was being used to detect… whatever it was that would lead them to Leviathan or HYDRA. Michael was watching intently over his shoulder and Bucky and Peggy were both sitting beside each other, arguing in whispers to each other about the necessary treatment he would need to recover his memories.

“Hey Cap,” Howard greeted after he had fully entered the room. “Peg got me caught up to speed.”

“Yes they’re quite efficient at catching you up to speed,” Michael muttered.

“This again?” Peggy complained.

“You can’t blame me for being offended that you told him _and his_ _butler_ Steve’s identity almost straight away and waited months to clue me in,” Michael interjected with a frown.

“We’re family too, pal,” Howard argued.

“I’m her _brother_ -”

“Both of you, heel,” Peggy ordered sharply. “Howard, have you found anything yet?”

“Nothing that I didn’t already put here myself.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Bucky asked suspiciously.

“Calm down, it’s nothing crazy. You didn’t think I’d help design this place without adding anything in there? Can’t a guy be creative anymore? You get it Steve, you’re an artist.”

Steve shook his head fondly and handed Peggy her food and tea instead of responding. She smiled gratefully at him and set to eating while Howard muttered something about appreciation - or lack thereof.

“Alright, it seems like this room is clear, but I’ll leave something here in case there’s something here that can’t be picked up until it’s activated. In the meantime, I’ll get to scanning every inch of this safe house and the main SHIELD building for anything that’s not supposed to be there.”

“Michael should help you, this is a large place,” Peggy told him.

Both Howard and Michael looked extremely unimpressed with the idea of spending any more time together, and Steve could tell by Peggy’s expression that he had missed out on a rather explosive disagreement between the two men. 

“Play nice now, the both of you,” she chided. “I’ll inform agents Thompson, Ramirez, Anderson and Davis, but otherwise we can’t risk too many people knowing. They can help with the search while Steve and I work with Bucky to recuperate his memories.”

“Alright,” Howard agreed. “HYDRA and Leviathan won’t know what hit ‘em.”

 

* * *

 

**January 5th, 1950 - A Doctor’s Office in Brooklyn, NY**

“Good news, Mrs. Carter, we’ve determined the cause of the fainting spell, and the lightheadedness and nausea you felt yesterday.”

Peggy quirked her eyebrow up at being called “Mrs.” for the first time since her arrival, which had been far too long ago. She had appeased Steve (and his nagging) by visiting the doctor before going into work, and after having been tested, it had been another two hours of waiting for the results. 

Quite frankly she had been ready to leave and wait for a phone call with the results when the Doctor had returned.

“Thank you, Doctor Larson, but I know it was because I didn’t eat much yesterday, which is something I have rectified already.”

Doctor Larson quirked her eyebrow up in amusement.

“Oh no, that’s not it - I mean, I’m sure that didn’t help. We’ve just received the results of your tests, and you’re positive.”

“I’m sorry, what do you mean by positive?”

“Mrs. Carter, you’re pregnant.”

Peggy’s jaw dropped.

“I - what? No, no that’s not possible.”

Doctor Larson smirked in amusement.

“You mean you haven’t-”

“No - I mean, yes I have but it shouldn’t - I… I thought I couldn’t have children,” she finished quietly.

Doctor Larson’s face fell slightly.

“Mrs. Carter-”

Peggy shook her head slowly.

She had had to go through a myriad of physical and medical exams in order to be cleared to into the field once she had joined the SSR. The extensiveness of the exams had led her to believe that they would find any reason not to let a woman onto the field. Nevertheless, Peggy had passed each test with flying colours.

Except one.

One of the tests came back, and she found out that it would be very unlikely she would be able to have children. 

Though it saddened her, at the time it hadn’t been even close to a concern. She had a war to win, and there was no thinking past that.

After their first night (and morning) together, Steve had panicked when he finally realized that they hadn’t used any protection. Peggy had calmed him by confiding in him about her situation, and then told him that she understood if it changed things between them.

He had vehemently told her that it changed nothing, that he still wanted to spend his life with her. He had seemed so certain that when the time came, they would have children - one way or another.

Peggy knew they hadn’t been careful lately.

There was no reason to be concerned that they weren’t being careful.

Except that they had defied all odds.

“Are you alright, Mrs. Carter?”

Peggy looked up at her, and her mouth began to curve upward into a large smile without her permission.

“Yes. Incredibly so,” she said truthfully, her voice thick with emotion.

Doctor Larson smiled in understanding.

“Sounds like this is nothing short of a miracle.”

Everything about Steve was a miracle, Peggy couldn’t help but think.

“I quite agree,” Peggy said, blinking back tears of joy.

“Now, you’ll need to check in again soon. If not with me, then any other doctor you’re comfortable with. And make sure not to miss any more meals. You’re eating for two now,” she said sternly, but kindly.

“Thank you, Doctor Larson.”

“Congratulations, Mrs. Carter.”

Peggy grabbed her purse and put on her coat, taking a deep breath when she stepped outside the doctor’s office. The chilled January air didn’t ease the daze she felt as she walked toward SHIELD’s office.

_Pregnant._

_She was pregnant._

_With Steve’s child._

 

* * *

 

**Mel and Steph’s Room - SHIELD Safe House**

“Can we read them again?”

Mel smiled softly at her sister. Reading had always bonded the two of them when she was younger, and since Peggy had filled Mel’s request to bring over a few of her sister’s favourite books, she’d taken it as an opportunity to lift Steph’s spirits - and her own. 

Though Steph had complained at first that she was old enough to read books on her own, when Mel began reading to her after a particularly terrible nightmare, Steph had stopped arguing every time Mel offered to read aloud to her, and now even asked for it.

“We _just_ finished Glinda of Oz, Steph,” Mel smiled.

“And now I want to start over again,” she all but whined.

“How about after we do some more school work? It’s important we keep up with your studies.”

“Mel,” Steph pouted.

“Awe come on, you love math. We work on that until dinner, and then after we can start at the beginning again,” Mel promised.

“How long until we can start at the real beginning again?”

Mel frowned.

“What do you mean, kiddo?”

“When we left mom and dad’s house, you said that we were starting over at the beginning to make a better future for us. And you said that it was important for us to stay here and wait until it was safe for us to start over again. When will that be?”

Mel opened and closed her mouth a few times, at a loss of what to say.

“I… I don’t know, Steph. Hopefully soon. They’re working on a way to stop the people who took you. And until then, we are going to read and do school work so that we’re the best shape we can be when that time comes.”

Steph pondered this deeply, and for a moment Mel could see the gears turning in her head. 

“Fine, but I need a snack if we’re doing math. That’s what’s gonna make me the best I can be.”

“A healthy snack,” Mel told her.

“Fine, a _healthy_ snack,” Steph muttered.

“Deal. Now, come on kiddo, let’s go,” Mel said, though Steph was already scurrying out the door before she could finish.

Mel smiled softly and trailed behind her sister, glad to see that she was slowly returning to the same daring, bright girl that she was before she was taken - if only in glimpses.

Before she could quite catch up, Mel heard a small startled noise that sounded too much like her sister, and a thumping sound. She turned the corner and found a startled Steph, who had fallen back after running into something.

Not something, someone.

Bucky.

He looked about as startled as Steph did, who was regarding him with wide eyes.

“Hey kid,” he said finally, his tone far gentler than what Mel last heard it.

After remaining frozen for a few moments, Steph continued to look up at him with an intensity that slightly unsettled Mel. Seeming to realize that he wasn’t going to get any words out of her, Bucky offered her his hand instead. Steph contemplated it before tentatively accepting his help.

“I’m sorry about your arm,” she said quietly after she had stood up.

“It’s not your fault, kid. And now I can just brag that I can do everything I used to, but with one arm,” he said, his tone lighthearted.

A few more moments passed, and Mel was about to lead her sister away to the cafeteria when Steph spoke up again.

“They hurt me too,” she confided quietly, her voice quivering. 

Mel frowned, her heart aching. Steph rarely spoke about her time with HYDRA, only divulging bits and pieces, but it seemed that she had already found a kinship with Bucky - someone else who shared her pain.

She wished she could take the pain away.

A dark look flashed over Bucky’s face, and disappeared as soon as it had come. He slowly knelt down on one knee. He unfastened a pin from his jacket and held it up so that Steph could see.

“My ma collects pins like these. They were scarce when I was growing up, but useful for fixing things in a pinch. Even the ones that were kind of bent outta shape serve their uses - even if they’re unconventional. Now every time I find one, I keep it.”

He fastened it to Steph’s dress as he continued to speak. 

“It reminds me that no matter how bent outta shape I get, I can still fight, and that I have something important to fight for. For family. We’re stronger with them than without.”

“Thank you,” Steph responded.

“Don’t mention it,” he smiled softly at her.

Without warning, Steph flung her arms around Bucky’s neck. After only a moment’s hesitation, he hugged her back. Steph pulled away and gave him a warm smile.

“I’m going to get a snack now because Mel says I need to do my math but I need a snack in order to do my math.”

“Your sister’s a smart cookie. You should listen to her.” 

“I’ll see you around. Thank you again, Mr. Bucky,” she said before skipping off to the cafeteria.

Mel stared off after Steph, her mind spinning with the attempt to process the interaction that she had just witnessed - and the unwanted emotions that it had stirred in her.

“I’m sorry.”

Mel snapped her head up to look at Bucky, who was looking at her cautiously. 

“What?”

“I had no right to say what I said. Especially not to you.”

“No, you didn’t,” she agreed slowly.

Bucky didn’t seem phased by this, and pressed on.

“I was having a bad day, a real bad day - and I took it out on you - which was wrong, it was so wrong, it’s not an excuse… but everything was so jumbled in my head, and I needed to know.”

“Know what?”

“If that night was real. The dancing and the kissing and… you.”

“I told you it was.”

“I know that now. But it was hard to see in the moment. And you have every right to hate me for what I said-”

“I don’t hate you,” she cut him off, surprising them both. “I’m pissed as all hell, but I don’t hate you. If anything, I thought you still hated me.”

“I did. I really did,” he admitted. “But I don’t anymore.”

“What changed your mind?”

“I got over myself,” he answered.

Mel frowned at his nonchalant tone.

“Bucky, what happened to you, what _I_ did to you-”

“Sucked,” he cut her off. “It _sucked_. But you made the right choice despite everything… and you’re suffering too. And as strange as it sounds, seeing you like that hurts me more than HYDRA ever could.”

“Thank you,” she whispered, unsure of what she could possibly say that would both sum up her feelings without revealing just how much his words had melted most of the lingering anger she felt toward him.

After a moment she decided to add:

“For everything. For apologizing. And for what you said to Steph. And what you just said to me.”

“Steph’s a good kid. And she’s damn lucky to have you.”

Mel tried in vain to swallow the lump in her throat.

“I’m lucky to have her.”

She held his gaze for a few moments. He opened his mouth, and then closed it, as if deciding against what he was going to say.

“I should go,” he told her gently.

“Me too.”

Bucky gave her a small smile and turned without another word. Mel watched him go, remaining firmly planted in the same spot long after he had left her line of sight. She tried to sort through the flurry of emotions that she was feeling.

She had been honest when she told him she was still mad.

But she still cared. Despite herself, despite what he had said to her, she still cared.

Damn him.

It wasn’t until Steph came bounding back with two apples in hand that she tore her gaze away from the empty hallway.

“Mel?” her sister asked, eyeing her curiously.

“Hey kiddo. Sorry I just-”

“He likes you,” Steph interrupted, voicing her statement as though she was also just coming to realize it.

“I - what?”

“Mr. Bucky. He likes you.”

“No that’s - maybe he did once but - hey don’t think that changing the subject will get you out of doing your math,” Mel said as sternly as she could muster, though she knew that her face must be scarlet.

“Worth a shot,” Steph grinned slyly, skipping off back to their room.

Mel shook her head.

This kid was going to be the death of her.

 

* * *

 

**Peggy Carter’s Office, SHIELD NY Headquarters**

Peggy was gathering her purse and coat, ready to leave for the day when she heard a knock at the door. She turned as Steve entered her office, and she smiled brightly at him, feeling giddy with the news that she had kept to herself all day, hoping to surprise him at dinner.

“My darling, I was just coming to find you-”

“Please be honest with me.”

“What?”

“Why didn’t you come and find me after your doctor’s appointment?”

Peggy frowned slightly.

“I just haven’t run into you, and you know how busy we both are, especially now with Howard launching this investigation into whatever device that’s been planted that will be used to turn Bucky again.”

“Peggy you’re my fiancée, if there’s something’s wrong, please tell me.”

“Nothing is wrong,” she assured him.

“But there’s something you’re not telling me.”

She only hesitated for a fraction of a moment, but it was all the validation that Steve needed.

“ _Peggy_.”

Peggy sighed but found herself smiling softly and motioning for him to close the door.

“I wanted to tell you at home, but seeing as you’re so damn impatient,” she teased.

Steve frowned and she walked up to him and gently stroked his cheek with her thumb.

“My darling, there’s no need to be serious and brooding all the time. Not everything is bad news.”

He gave her a pointed look.

“When is it ever good news?”

Despite herself, Peggy slowly began smiling.

When her smile was at its absolute widest, she began laughing.

She couldn’t quite explain why. Maybe it was the fact that normally Steve would have been right, except that for this one time, the unexpected news that had surprised her was not only good, but joyous. Or maybe it was because they had defied all odds in not only being reunited, but in having a family.

Either way, she didn’t think she could be happier.

Steve frowned.

“Peggy, what’s going on?” he asked.

“Oh my darling, everything is perfect,” she told him softly after her laughter subsided.

“What?”

She took his hands in hers, pulling him closer.

“Steve,” she began, taking a deep breath. “I’m pregnant.”

“ _What?_ ” he said, disbelief evident in his voice.

“I’m pregnant,” she repeated softly, smiling brightly at him.

“You’re pregnant,” he echoed.

Peggy watched as the meaning of her words finally registered and sunk in. Steve’s eyes lit up and his face broke out into a huge grin.

The next moment, Peggy felt herself being lifted off her feet and spun around, his arms around her waist. She heard his laugh and soon she was joining him, wrapping her arms around his neck. Just when she was beginning to feel dizzy, he set her down and pressed his lips against hers.

“You’re pregnant,” he repeated after he had pulled away.

“Yes, my darling, I know.”

Steve dropped to his knees and wrapped his arms around her midsection, pressing kisses to her stomach. Peggy inhaled sharply and tangled her fingers in his hair as he began to murmur things that she couldn’t quite make out. 

She didn’t know how long they stayed that way, but when Steve finally pulled away to stand up they both had tears slowly streaming down their cheeks.

“We’re having a baby,” he whispered.

“We are,” she affirmed, gently wiping his tears away with her thumbs.

“How?”

“Well Steve, I can only assume it would have been when we didn’t use protection one of the _numerous_ times in the last month or so when we’ve-”

“ _Peggy_ -” he cut her off, the tips of his ears going bright red even though they were alone.

Peggy laughed, stepping onto the tips of her toes to give him a chaste kiss.

“Does it really matter?”

Without giving her a proper reply, he cupped her face in his hands and pressed their lips together. She kissed him back deeply, fisting his jacket in her hands and tugging him closer. Steve’s hands wandered down her body, pausing to squeeze her ass before they went to her thighs. He effortlessly lifted her up and Peggy wrapped her legs around his waist.

This was partly why she wanted to wait until they were home to reveal the news, she thought idly.

Steve began kissing at her jaw and neck, and she tilted her head back to give him better access, her previous thought being replaced by a new one.

“Lock the door,” she ordered.

“Yes, ma’am,” he breathed out, moving his right hand underneath her ass and supported her easily as his left hand reached behind him to lock the door.

Peggy raked her nails down his arms, causing him to shiver as he walked her over to her desk and set her down. She kept her legs around him, and Steve began undoing the buttons on her blouse until it was halfway open. He pressed his mouth to her collarbone, sucking on the skin while she loosened his tie and helped him take off his jacket.

Peggy was immensely grateful that she had chosen a skirt that day when Steve hiked it up to her waist. He moved back just enough to give himself a better angle to pull down her underwear over her stockings and garters. The moment her legs were free, she wrapped them around him again, using them to pull him closer.

He kissed his way back down her body, pausing at her stomach for a few moments longer before continuing. His mouth was suddenly exactly where she needed him and she swore, tangling a hand in his hair while the other went to cover her mouth.

Steve wasted no time in bringing her to the edge, his mouth working her through her orgasm until she was whimpering from over-stimulation and tugging his head away.

He didn’t give her any time to recover before his mouth was on hers, and Peggy moaned freely into his mouth, looping her arms around his neck.

“Fuck, Steve,” she breathed out when he pulled back.

“That’s the idea,” he murmured, and she could practically feel his smirk as he kissed the hollow behind her ear.

Peggy grinned lazily and hastily unbuckled his belt, pulling down his trousers just enough so that she could work him through his shorts. He groaned and leaned his head against her shoulder.

Steve pulled her closer to the edge of the desk by her hips, and she let out a soft gasp as he entered her slowly. He pressed his nose against her temple as he began to move his hips, moaning into her ear.

She twisted her hand into Steve’s hair and maneuvered him so that his face was pressed against her neck while the nails on her other hand bit into his shoulder, urging him on. Steve bit her neck roughly, but Peggy was too focused on the feel of him moving inside her to chastise him for the inevitable mark he was leaving.

Peggy let out a little whimper as Steve fingers found her clit. She thrust back against him and his fingers, chasing the overwhelming feeling of pleasure until she was gasping his name as she came. 

His body went still as he found his release after a few more thrusts, muffling his moan in her mouth and holding her tightly against him. Peggy knew she would never tire of having him come undone in her arms.

They remained tangled together, holding each other close as they both caught their breath. Eventually, Steve pulled out, but she kept her legs wrapped around him loosely.

“We’re having a kid,” he murmured, and she could hear the awe that he was still feeling.

“If we weren’t before, I’m certain this time did the trick.”

Peggy laughed when Steve pinched her thigh, and pulled him close by his loosened tie to kiss him.

She eventually let him go, and as Steve fixed his pants and tie, Peggy went about making herself presentable again, though her hair seemed to be a lost cause. She huffed in frustration, though she could practically feel Steve’s blinding smile without even looking at him.

They walked out of her office together. After making a detour to check in on Bucky, who seemed to be in a better mood than he had been the past few days - he had teased her relentlessly about the “wind storm” that must have tousled her hair that badly - they went home. 

Peggy rolled her eyes fondly at every door Steve opened for her, but gratefully accepted the gestures.

That night, Steve insisted on making dinner while Peggy relaxed. As he flitted about the kitchen, he stopped every now and again to kiss her gently from where she was sitting on the counter, his eyes roaming over her stomach as if he would be able to spot a change - no matter if she was only about a month along.

If it had been anyone but Steve, this behaviour would have suffocated her instead of filling her with the intense adoration she was currently feeling.

Nevertheless, Peggy knew one thing for certain.

Steve was going to be an incredible father.

 

* * *

 

**January 6th, 1950 - Conference Room, SHIELD NY Headquarters**

“What’s so urgent that we needed to come in at 5 in the goddamn morning?” Jack muttered as he arrived, dropping his coat and briefcase on the table.

“You know these boys need their beauty rest,” Bucky half-joked, half-yawned.

“Davis especially needs all the help he can get,” Anderson teased.

Anderson narrowly side-stepped out of the way of the shoulder punch Davis aimed for him with a smirk.

“Howard has information from his search of the building,” Peggy interrupted their banter, offering Jack one of the mugs that Ramirez had recently poured coffee into.

“What is it?” Jack asked, perking up slightly with interest.

“I finally finished my scan of the building, and I found nothing,” Howard announced proudly.

The entire room gaped at him.

“Nothing?” Bucky asked incredulously.

“Nope,” Howard affirmed.

“Then why in the bloody hell did you call us here just to tell us that you found nothing, Stark?” Michael asked, his tone filled with bitterness.

“Because if they were going to strike using Bucky, they would need to find a way to trigger him, but there is no piece of technology present here that can do that, either by itself or as a communication device.”

“Which means what?” Peggy prompted.

“It means that if they want to get to him, or to us in general, it’s gotta be a person.”

“Someone who has access not only to this building, but most likely to the safe house,” Michael mused out loud. 

“That leaves just about every who works here,” Jack pointed out.

“Even so, that person would just be a pawn for the mastermind who planted them here,” Howard urged.

“Howard’s right,” Peggy said. “We’ve been so fixated on this device, we haven’t been paying enough attention to bigger picture.”

“If we can’t find the pawn, how the hell are we supposed to figure out who the mastermind is? How do we know it’s even one person?” Michael asked.

“It’s their style. During the war, Schmidt was HYDRA’s ring leader. As soon as he fell, the rest of HYDRA went pretty quick,” Howard said.

“Fenhoff masterminded Stark’s treason charges and called the shots. Underwood followed his plan until it was no longer feasible,” Jack added 

“If we consider the fact that they’re both still mostly working from the shadows I think for now it’s safe to assume we’re dealing with one person. Every group needs a strong leader to succeed,” Steve agreed.

“And that leader would have to be someone who has a higher level access to us, and who’s hellbent on seeing us burn from the inside out - no matter how long it takes,” Howard said.

“Zola,” Peggy realized out loud. 

The entire room stilled and turned to look at her. Bucky’s face darkened at the mere mention of the name. She felt a sudden wave of nausea rise in the back of her throat that she knew she couldn’t attribute solely to her pregnancy.

“What?” Michael asked.

“Operation Paperclip,” Steve muttered, and his tone suggested to Peggy that thought it was the most obvious thing in the world.

She raised her eyebrow at him. Peggy could see him connecting dots with some information he had gained in the future, and the moment that she caught his eyes he simply shook his head, causing her to frown.

“It’s not a surprise Zola’s still dirty,” Howard piped up. “Peg and I tried to keep him and the others out of SHIELD, but no one would listen to us. He managed to convince them all that they’d gone straight and were willing to play by our rules.”

“We’ll need proof if we want to take him down,” Peggy said.

“So we wait for him to use his pawn in order to take him down?” Bucky asked.

“No,” Peggy and Steve said immediately.

“At the very least, it’s not enough,” Jack said. 

“We need to be able to tie it to him,” Peggy agreed. “The government didn’t trust us enough in the first place, and they won’t trust us now without evidence that he’s trying to tear SHIELD apart from the inside.”

“Which means we need to anticipate what his plan is and catch him enacting it,” Jack said.

“We do that and we get Operation Paperclip shut down, those criminals back in prison, and end both HYDRA and Leviathan for real this time,” Anderson said.

“Piece of cake,” Davis muttered.

“So how the hell do we prove Zola is dirty?” Ramirez asked.

“I might have an idea,” Bucky spoke up. “But we’d have to play a longer game.”

Peggy hummed thoughtfully as she contemplated the options - of which realistically there were very few. After a few moments, she realized that all eyes were on her. She raised her eyebrow quizzically.

“Your call, Director,” Howard said, a smile tugging at his lips.

She looked between all the men, and slowly, her lips curved upward into a smile.

“Strap in, gentlemen, we’re in this for the long haul. As long as it takes to take down HYDRA and Leviathan. Agreed?”

When everyone in the room assented, she turned back to Bucky.

“What’s our first step?”

 

* * *

 

**January 11th, 1950 - Peggy Carter and Steve Rogers’ Apartment, Brooklyn, NY**

_Steve bounded up the steps toward their apartment. Peggy was missing; he hadn’t been able to find her anywhere. When he had reached their building, he heard her scream and immediately bolted toward the sound. He entered their apartment to find that the living room was completely turned over, as though there was a particularly brutal fight._

_At the sight of blood on the floor, he felt sick and went off running in search of her. He only got as far as the first floor before he ran into Bucky._

_“Woah, where’s the fire, punk?”_

_“Where’s Peggy?” Steve asked sharply._

_Bucky frowned at him._

_“Peggy?”_

_“Yes, Peggy. Come on, Buck, this isn’t funny.”_

_“No, it really isn’t. Has your head been messed with again?”_

_“My head - what? Look, I don’t have time for this, she’s in trouble. I need to find Peggy now.”_

_“Steve…” Bucky began gently, though he was looking at him like he had grown a second head. “Peggy’s gone.”_

_Steve felt his heart break, and his throat seemed to close up from its shards._

_“What? No. No, how do you know? What happened?”_

_“She went in her sleep. In 2016. You… Steve, you were at her funeral. You were a pallbearer.”_

_The room suddenly shifted, and Steve realized that he was in a helicarrier. Looking past Bucky’s shoulder, he could just barely make out Natasha’s blond hair as she piloted, Sam in the seat beside her, both of them arguing about the best route to take to their next safe house._

_Steve shook his head and slowly retreated until he was backed up against the wall._

_“But… but I went back. It was 1950. Bucky - I, she was just here. Or I was just there.”_

_Bucky’s response came out distorted as he seemed to disintegrate in front of Steve’s eyes just like he had during Thanos’ snap. He was almost instantly replaced by a coffin._

_Peggy’s coffin._

 

Steve gasped sharply and shot upright, his body covered in sweat. Barely registering where he was, he looked around frantically in search of Peggy. He let out a small cry of relief when he saw that she was asleep in their bed, curled up on her side facing him.

He angrily wiped the tears away from his cheeks and laid back, breathing heavily.

When he couldn’t calm himself after what felt like an eternity, he turned on his side to face Peggy. He put all his focus on matching her steady breaths, shuffling closer to her until their noses were almost touching. When his breath and heart finally stabilized to an almost normal rhythm, he allowed himself to close his eyes and take a deep breath.

When he opened his eyes, he reached out and gently brushed back some of her hair that was covering her face, lightly tracing his fingers over her cheekbone in the process. With his other hand, he brushed his knuckles against her still flat stomach that was covered by her slip.

“This makes it five nights in a row now,” Peggy murmured, her eyes slowly propping open.

Her tone suggested that she had been awake for a while, most likely since he had woken up. Steve sighed, feeling guilty about ruining her sleep again.

“I know.”

“You’re having two or three a night.”

“I know.”

“They haven’t been this bad or this frequent in a while.”

“ _I know._ ”

“Steve-”

“Peggy, it’s fine. I get nightmares all the time. _You_ get nightmares all the time. This is just something that we have to put up with-”

“What if we didn’t have to put up with it?”

“What?”

“What if there was something we could do?”

“To stop nightmares?” he asked incredulously, pulling away from her to lay on his back.

She shifted so that she was leaning up on her elbow still facing him.

“Or at least lessen them so that you can sleep for more than two hours at a time. We can ask Howard, see if he can help.”

“ _Howard?_ ”

“He understands your physiology better than anyone alive. He could find or create something that your body won’t burn through in five minutes.”

“Is that really necessary?” he muttered.

“You need sleep to function, don’t you?” she quipped.

“I just don’t see the point-”

“It wouldn’t hurt to try. For me?”

He raised his eyebrow at her.

“For you?”

“For me,” she said, pouting her lips ever so slightly.

Steve sighed softly.

“Fine, we’ll talk to him about it.”

“Thank you,” she told him gratefully, leaning over to kiss his cheek.

Steve wanted to be more upset about the fact that he was going to have his mind all but dissected by Howard, but then Peggy was curling up firmly against his side, throwing her arm and leg across his body and resting her head on his chest, and he couldn't help but let his resolve melt a little.

He wanted to tell her that this was just a bad spell of nightmares, and that all he needed was this - was _her_ \- in order to get through it until they subsided again, but he knew that her mind was made up and there would be no changing it.

Peggy was just as stubborn as he was.

“You know, if you give in this easily to me, you are going to be positively wrapped around our child’s finger,” she mused out loud.

Steve couldn’t help but smile.

She was also absolutely right.

 

* * *

 

**One of Howard Stark’s Manhattan Estates**

“How are you fairing this morning, Miss Carter?” Jarvis greeted as he lead her and Steve to a basement lab in one of Howard’s estates.

“As well as can be, Mr. Jarvis, and yourself?”

They had decided to keep the news about the pregnancy to themselves until after the wedding. They would be telling a select few in the coming months as they deemed fit, and Peggy would reveal the news to Director Phillips and the others at SHIELD when it became impossible to hide the physical evidence of the child she was carrying. She wanted as much time as possible to be able to prepare for anything that could arise from her male subordinates seeing her pregnancy as an excuse for her to step down.

As Jarvis recounted last night’s events that involved a particularly complicated dish that he made for Ana, Steve couldn’t help but imagine a very pregnant Peggy verbally - or physically - sparring with someone who made the mistake of even insinuating she wasn’t more than capable of handling both her job and a child. He nearly forgot to stifle his laugh.

“Well if it isn’t America’s favourite couple!” Howard greeted when they had entered the lab. “Now Peg, you made it sound real important on the phone. How can I help? Other than taking down Zola and all of HYDRA and Leviathan.”

Steve rolled his eyes but smiled slightly. 

“Howard, would you happen to have anything in regards to sleeping aids?” Peggy asked.

“What’s wrong, Peg, Rogers keeping you up all night?” Howard quipped, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. 

Peggy rolled her eyes and Steve felt his cheeks heat up.

“Howard,” she said warningly.

“Seriously though, shouldn’t you just ask a real doctor for that kind of stuff?”

“They’re not for me, they’re for Steve.”

“Peggy, you know I don’t need as much sleep as you do,” Steve interjected, still feeling uncomfortable with this whole situation and wanting to downplay it as much as possible.

“But you do need sleep, and your nightmares are becoming more frequent and are growing worse each time.”

“They’re normal nightmares. I’ve been sleeping-”

“We share a bed Steve, I know exactly how much you _haven’t_ been sleeping.”

“Sharing a bed before you’re married? Now that’s a scandal if I ever heard one,” Howard joked, trying to ease the tension that was slowly building between them.

“With all due respect, Mr. Stark, I’d hardly call Captain Rogers and Miss Carter’s living arrangements the most scandalous endeavour of anyone in this room,” Jarvis said pointedly, saving Howard from Peggy’s withering glare.

While Howard scoffed and pretended to look affronted, Peggy stepped toward Steve and spoke to him in a low voice so only he could hear.

“I know this makes you uncomfortable but I’m worried about you. You haven’t rested properly in days. I can’t sleep well knowing you’re so troubled… and you know that the stress of that can’t be good for the baby.”

Steve narrowed his eyes at her.

“Are you using our child against me?” he whispered.

“Only if it’s working.”

He sighed.

“It is,” he muttered.

She grinned and kissed his cheek.

“Imagine that, they’re not even born yet and still,” she twined a finger around his as though to make her point clearer.

Before he could retort, she crossed to Howard and began to discuss the logistics of what they would actually need in order to help Steve.

“Do you have nightmares often, Captain Rogers?”

Steve looked over to find Jarvis regarding him with an understanding expression.

“Hazard of the job,” he shrugged.

“I started having nightmares after I nearly lost Ana more than two years ago. Before that I had spent months at Miss Carter’s side, seeing some of the worst of humanity right in front of my eyes. But it wasn’t until my wife was fighting for her life that I had my first real nightmare.”

“I’m sorry,” Steve said gently.

“The point of me telling you this, Captain, is so that you’ll realize that sometimes nightmares tend to manifest themselves even more viciously once you realize just how much you have to lose.”

Steve frowned and looked over at Peggy, who was currently debating ideas back and forth with Howard. His eyes almost instinctually roamed over her midsection. He knew that he wouldn’t find any physical indication of the pregnancy, but Steve knew that their baby was in there. Peggy pinched the bridge of her nose with her left hand, the movement causing her engagement ring to catch in the light.

He swallowed the lump in his throat.

“You know,” he started, never taking his eyes off of her. “People always think that the serum was the best thing to ever happen to me. I mean, it gave me every opportunity that I didn’t have before, a chance to do something, and I’ll never have enough words to thank Erskine or Howard for that… But Peggy’s the one who actually inspired me to become Captain America - not the dancing monkey. She believed in me when no one else did. She never stopped.”

“If I may, I know what losing you did to her, and I can imagine what losing her must have done to you. You’re at the height of this second chance, just days away from being married, and with this new threat on the horizon, it’s not irrational to be afraid that it’ll all slip away again.” 

Jarvis paused for a moment before continuing. 

“But if it helps, I know for certain that Miss Carter would bring down hell on anyone who tried to separate you, and I pity the poor soul who even dares to try.”

Steve let out a small chuckle.

“I do too… Thank you, Jarvis,” he said softly.

The man smiled softly at him before straightening up.

“However, now is as good a time as any to inform you that should you - for whatever unholy reason - cause Miss Carter any more pain, she will not be the only one you will be facing consequences from.”

Logically, Jarvis posed no threat to him, but Steve knew very well just how important Jarvis was to Peggy, and though he hadn’t spent much time with him, it was evident how much Jarvis cared about her. It filled him with immense gratitude that he was willing to risk life and limb for her - no matter who it was that would stand in his way.

“I understand completely, Jarvis.”

“I’m glad we’re in agreement, Captain Rogers.”

 

* * *

 

“Thank you for indulging me,” Peggy told Steve gently as they drove toward SHIELD.

“Technically you guilted me into it.”

“I prefer the term persuaded.”

Steve rolled his eyes fondly and moved one hand from the steering wheel to grab Peggy’s left hand.

“So what’s next?” he asked.

“Well if we’re going by things that need to get done right away: Howard will figure something out from the tests he just took, you’ll get some sleep, we’ll follow Bucky’s plan to prove Zola is behind everything and then stop him, Leviathan, and HYDRA. Permanently.”

“Isn’t there something missing in that timeline?”

“Is there?”

“I could have sworn I heard something about a wedding.”

“Oh quite possibly, but the details are evading my memory at the moment.”

Steve kissed her ring pointedly, causing her to grin.

“Three more days, my darling.”

“And then you’re mine forever.”

“I’ve always been yours.”

“Always?” he asked.

“Always. And I will continue to be for as long as you’ll have me.”

“Forever,” he said immediately.

“Then forever it is,” she grinned widely, her eyes filled with happiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up: the wedding!
> 
> Hit me up on your theories about who's in on it with Zola. I love to hear any and all thoughts!
> 
> As always, all my love to Darcy.


	22. When We Were Young (Dreams Come True)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly this one got away from me accidentally, and is more than 7k words, but honestly I loved writing every minute of it.
> 
> A portion of this chapter is inspired by the song When We Were Young, which everyone should listen to because it has MAJOR Steggy vibes (circa CA:WS)
> 
> Without further ado, the wedding!

**January 14th, 1950 - Peggy Carter and Steve Rogers’ Apartment, Brooklyn, NY**

“Today’s the day!” Peggy heard Angie’s sing-song voice mere seconds before the door to the bedroom was being opened.

Peggy didn’t have a chance to even open her eyes before she felt the bed dip beside her.

“Wakey wakey, soon to be Mrs. Rogers!” Angie continued to sing, poking her gently.

Peggy finally opened her eyes to look at her friend, who had opted to wake Peggy up before putting on her light pink bridesmaid dress. In accordance to tradition, Peggy and Steve had spent the night apart. Steve - along with Bucky - had spent the night over in a room at Howard’s estate where their wedding was to take place, while Angie had slept with her at their apartment so that she could help Peggy get dressed in the morning. 

“Good morning to you as well,” she greeted, half-yawning.

“Come on, rise and shine, English.”

“I am quite risen now, thanks to your diligence,” Peggy teased as she stretched.

“Now we just have to work on the shining part, but there’s still time before the wedding.”

“Are you quite finished now?” Peggy scoffed, poking her friend.

“Just getting started, English,” Angie quipped. “Now get up so I can do your hair and makeup.”

 

* * *

 

Peggy looked at herself in the mirror and smiled brightly. Her satin white dress was tea-length with a sweetheart neckline, at which point the satin became a delicate lace that covered her chest to just below her collarbone and continued to create her sleeves, which were a few inches past her elbows in length. Her birdcage veil was fastened securely to her head, and though it was currently lifted behind her head, it covered her face to the bottom of her chin when pulled forward. Even so, the lace material was light enough that she could see through it perfectly. Her brown curls fell to just above her shoulders, and Peggy had to admit that Angie had done a perfect job with her makeup - down to her signature crimson lipstick.

She had debated back and forth on whether or not she wanted to wear her military uniform or a wedding dress, unsure which tradition she wanted to follow. In the end, she decided that though her uniform held sentimentality for her, it represented a time in her life when she had to control her feelings and actions, a time where she was consistently fighting for her life. Though she was still fighting for the greater good, she wanted to begin this new chapter of her life with something fresh, something that would more accurately represent what she and Steve were building toward.

Taking another look, she smiled at herself in satisfaction and turned to face Angie for final approval.

“Well?”

“Steve’s not gonna know what hit him,” Angie - who was also now fully dressed - said proudly, putting her hands on her hips.

 

* * *

 

**One of Howard Stark’s Estates**

“Your tie’s crooked,” Bucky commented from where he was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching Steve fuss uselessly with his tie for what must have been minutes.

“You gonna sit there and narrate or are you gonna help me?”

“Well if you’re asking me which one I _want_ to do…”

“You’re a jerk.”

“And you’re a punk,” Bucky quipped, coming over to him to adjust his tie slightly. “Besides, you know she’s gonna go all doe-eyed no matter how you look.”

Steve rolled his eyes, but couldn’t help but blush a bit.

“Is she here yet?”

“Angie called a little while ago to say they’re on their way. Relax, she’ll be here. And on time, which is impressive considering both of your track records with timing.”

Steve’s retort was interrupted by a knock at the door.

“How’s the soon to be Mr. Carter?” Howard greeted with a sly grin as he entered.

“A nervous wreck,” Bucky stated with a smirk.

“As expected,” Howard grinned.

“Not a wreck,” Steve corrected.

“Says the one who couldn’t straighten out his own tie,” Bucky quipped.

“Don’t worry too much about it pal, at least you’ll have help in the undressing portion of the night,” Howard offered.

Bucky laughed and gave Howard a high five.

“You’re both terrible,” Steve said.

“You know we’re right,” he told him before turning to Bucky. “And you think he’s a wreck now, he hasn’t even seen her yet.”

Steve immediately perked up.

“She’s here?”

“Just arrived and looking like a million bucks,” Howard told him. 

“That’s nothing new,” Steve said with a large grin, trying to imagine just how much more radiant she could possibly be than usual.

“Come on punk, you’re not allowed to drool until you actually see her,” Bucky said, snapping him out of his thoughts.

Steve playfully shoved Bucky’s shoulder with his.

“Now come on, let’s get you to the altar,” Bucky said with a large smile.

“Yeah if not, Peg will kill us,” Howard said, only half-joking.

 

* * *

 

“ _Holy shit_ , Carter.”

Peggy looked away from where Angie was fussing (unnecessarily) with her veil to find that the Howling Commandos had unashamedly intruded on the room that Howard had set up for her to stay in until the start of the ceremony.

She rolled her eyes fondly, only being surprised that it had taken them this long to come looking for her. They wouldn’t be the Howling Commandos if they acted anything close to traditional.

Angie raised her eyebrow up at the intrusion and put her hands on her hips.

“Don’t they teach you how to knock in the army?”

“No, it’s quite unfortunate,” Peggy told her with a grin.

“Hey! We just wanted to greet our _good friend_ before she gets hitched to our Captain,” Jones told her.

“And tell her that she looks like an absolute vision in that dress,” Falsworth added.

“Careful gents, she always looks like a vision,” Angie quipped before stepping aside to allow the Commandos enough room to properly swarm Peggy.

“I think Cap might just pass out when he sees you,” Dugan told her, giving her a tight hug.

“Nah, he’s gonna cry,” Jones said, following suit.

“We can at least guarantee a full jaw drop, though,” Morita added when it was his turn.

“My money’s on the crying,” Dernier continued.

“That’s enough out of all of you,” Peggy told them, though her voice didn’t hold any sternness.

“Come on Peg, we’re just appreciating how drop dead gorgeous you are. Respectfully of course,” Dugan winked at her.

Peggy rolled her eyes fondly.

“I suppose I’ll allow it,” she conceded with a grin, hugging Pinkerton, and Sawyer and Falsworth in turn.

“You know, during the war, we always joked about how soon after it you two would be getting hitched,” Falsworth said when he pulled away.

“None of our guesses thought it’d take this long,” Jones continued, his voice slightly wistful.

“I think the longest was a month,” Morita contributed.

“But what’s important it’s finally here,” Dernier reminded them.

“With us here to help you celebrate of course,” Dugan grinned.

Peggy gave them a large, watery grin.

“Oh you’re all awful. Making me tear up right before my own wedding,” she chastised them lightly.

“Yeah fellas, where are your manners? Besides, don’t you know the ceremony’s about to start?” Bucky scolded them from the doorway, where he had seemingly been listening in on their conversation.

He sent her a sly wink as he ushered them out to take their seats, though they were muttering about being kicked out and how technically, Bucky no longer had any authority over them.

“Thank you, Bucky,” she said, both of them knowing full well that she was always happy to entertain the Commando’s boisterous presence - and she was more than capable of doing so.

“Anything for the bride,” he grinned at her.

Peggy rolled her eyes fondly.

“How’s Steve?”

Bucky snorted.

“He’s been ready to marry you from the day you met. I’d say he’s fine.”

“I’m serious, Bucky.”

“So am I. He even woke up at an ungodly hour to make himself extra pretty for you today,” Bucky teased.

Peggy smacked him on the shoulder, but couldn’t help but laugh. He joined her for a moment before his eyes softened. 

“You know, I couldn’t have asked for someone more perfect for him to marry.”

“Thank you,” she replied softly. “I hope you know how incredibly meaningful that is coming from you.”

“C’mere,” he said, opening his arm. 

Peggy hugged him tightly.

“You know, Steve’s jaw isn’t the only one that’s gonna drop,” Bucky told her nonchalantly as he pulled back.

Peggy raised her eyebrow at him.

“Is that so?”

“You’ll get it when you see him.”

“How cryptic.”

“Trust me, you’ll love it.”

“Since it’s Steve, I’m sure I will.”

Bucky grinned and kissed her cheek gently.

“I’ll see you out there, Peg.”

He left, and Angie held out her bouquet to her.

“You ready, English?”

“Incredibly so.”

Angie grinned and carefully moved her veil to cover her face.

“Then let’s get you married already.”

Peggy’s anticipation threatened to overwhelm her as they left the room. She begged her morning sickness - which had been annoyingly persistent in the past few days - to remain at bay. Thus far, other than once instance soon after she had woken up it had complied.

They arrived at the hallway outside the ceremony room, where Michael was waiting for her.

“Peg, you’re radiant,” he greeted with a large smile.

“Thank you Michael,” she said, hugging him tightly.

“Are you nervous?” he asked.

“No,” she said truthfully. “This is the easiest thing I’ve ever had to do.”

He looked at her with a strange expression, and Peggy’s smile faltered slightly.

“Michael?”

“I know I’ve been giving you a hard time since you told me who he really is, but I want to you know that I am happy for you. Truthfully. All I’ve ever wanted for you was to be happy, and to be yourself.”

“Michael-”

“You don’t have to say anything. Just know that everything I’ve had to endure has been worth it to be able to share this moment with you.”

“Is everyone determined to make me cry before I actually make it to the aisle?” she joked, blinking back tears and silently cursing her hormones.

“And ruin her perfect makeup,” she heard Angie mutter kindly.

Michael chuckled and hugged Peggy tightly, though she couldn’t help but notice that he still had a slightly strange look in his eyes.

The music began and Peggy immediately straightened up, smoothing out her dress.

Angie stepped to her and gave her hand a squeeze, being ever so conscientious of her dress and hair.

“Break a leg,” Angie winked at her before she entered.

Peggy accepted Michael’s outstretched arm and took a deep breath. She looked at him and reciprocated his large smile.

They stepped into the room together and began walking down the aisle that Howard had set up. It was a smaller room, seeing as there weren’t many guests invited to the ceremony proper, but Howard had decorated it surprisingly tastefully. 

Her eyes landed on Steve almost immediately and she gasped softly.

His uniform was neatly pressed, and sparsely decorated with medals. Peggy had a feeling that the only reason there were any present at all was because of Bucky. He was absolutely beaming at her, and she could practically see the tears begin to form in his eyes. But it was one detail above all that caught her attention.

He had shaved his beard off.

It had been months since she had seen Steve without his beard, since a few days after he first came back. One of the effects of the serum was that his hair - including his facial hair - grew incredibly quickly. Seeing him now in his military uniform with his face clean-shaven made Peggy feel as though she was being transported back to 1943.

She was 23 years old, overseeing the new recruits at Camp Lehigh. She glanced over after socking Gilmore Hodge in the jaw, and noticed for the first time the scrawny, young man who was failing to hide his amusement. She quickly averted her gaze before he could make eye contact with her, but Peggy would find herself inadvertently paying closer attention to the new recruit over the upcoming weeks.

She was a few months older when she saw him emerge from the chamber a new man. Maybe not quite a new man. He was the same man really, but with a different exterior. Without her permission, her hand reached out to touch, and just barely schooling herself before she made contact.

She was just shy of 24 years old with fire coursing through her veins as she shot at him four times and stormed off, her heart constricting. She had returned to her lodgings that night to find a single recently-picked flower laying on her pillow. Her anger was only softened when she saw the attached note that contained both a heartfelt apology and small cartoonish drawing of her aiming her gun at Steve, who was cowering behind the shield. After that, she knew she could no longer deny what she knew she had been feeling for a long time.

She was 25 years old when she sent him off to his death with a spontaneous kiss. Even though she was sitting, her body threatened to collapse in on itself as she listened to him promise her a dance that they both knew would never come.

Peggy arrived at the altar, grinning widely at Steve before turning to Michael. He carefully lifted her veil and kissed her cheek. They shared a smile and he went to his seat as she took her place at the altar. She handed off her bouquet to Angie, who winked at her, before turning to face Steve. Her hands then seemed to move of their own accord, reaching up to cup his face. Her thumbs stroked his cleanly shaven cheeks, looking at him with a loving grin.

Steve’s hands found their way to her waist, and she felt his thumbs gently stroke the material of her dress, but she couldn’t take her eyes off his face.

“Peggy, you’re - _wow_ ,” he breathed out, matching her grin.

“I could say the same, my darling,” she whispered back.

“If you’re about wrapped up there, I believe we’ve all gathered here so you can get make those lovesick faces at each other _while_ _actually_ getting married,” Phillips quipped, though he couldn’t completely hide his fond smile.

“Sorry, Director,” Steve said bashfully, moving his hands to hold Peggy’s.

“I’m not sorry. With all due respect, Director, it is my wedding,” Peggy said kindly, giving Steve’s hands a squeeze.

Phillips raised his eyebrow at her but smiled.

“Now I’m not gonna bother asking who’s giving her away because we all know damn well she is in charge of herself.”

“You’re damn right,” she agreed.

Everyone in the room let out a small laugh, and she felt Steve’s thumbs gently stroke her knuckles.

“Welcome everyone. We are gathered here today to _finally_ witness the union of Steven Grant Rogers and Margaret Elizabeth Carter. Now, I’ve known both Director Carter and Captain Rogers since the war, and they have both been a consistent thorn in my side from day one.”

Everyone in the room laughed, the Howling Commandos practically cheering. 

“You are without a doubt the two most stubborn people I know. You have a habit of throwing the rule book to the side whenever you think you’re in the right, of ignoring direct orders, and of getting yourselves nearly killed in the line of duty time and again.… and you are also the two most loyal, brave, and selfless people I know.

I watched you two kids dance around each other for two years during the war. No matter how hard you tried to hide it, everyone within a mile’s radius could sniff out the connection you two had. And I’ve seen you two find each other again years later despite everything, and your connection has only strengthened since. 

I can say with complete confidence that there are no two people more perfect for each other, or more deserving of happiness, and it is my absolute honour to be marrying you two today.”

“Thank you, Director,” both of them said earnestly.

“Now I believe that you have both prepared your own vows?” 

Steve had told her that in the future, it was extremely common for people to write their own vows, and that he wanted to do it because it was more personal. Though it was unusual, she liked the idea and agreed to it. 

They both nodded, and Phillips nodded to Steve for him to begin.

“Peggy, from the first moment, you have made me feel seen. Not just as Captain America, but as Steve. You’ve always believed in me, before I was ever the man with the plan, the guy with the shield. In fact, you’re the reason that guy exists. You’re my heart’s compass, and I can’t wait to spend every day making you feel as loved and happy as you make me feel. 

I promise to love you and cherish you every minute that we’re together. I promise to let you use me as a heater when you’re cold,” he said teasingly, eliciting a small, watery laugh from her.

“I promise to support you in everything you do, and that I will spend our lives together putting you and our future family first. I love you so much.”

Peggy took a breath and smiled softly.

“I never told you about the exact moment I fell in love with you. It was back at Camp Lehigh, during training. One day out of nowhere, a grenade landed in the middle of camp. I ran toward it to cover it with my own body, but found that someone else had beat me to it. You.”

“ _You did what_?” Bucky exclaimed at Steve, effectively interrupting Peggy and causing a few snickers from Howard and the Howling Commandos.

Peggy gave him a pointed - but slightly amused - look. Bucky looked at her apologetically, though she heard him mutter something about Steve always being a “punk with a death wish”.

“Though it turned out to be a dummy grenade, that was the moment that confirmed for me who you were,” Peggy continued on. “A man who cared enormously about the wellbeing of others, no matter how they treated him. A kind, compassionate, good man. A man that I could love for the rest of my life. 

I promise that I will spend our life together loving you and caring for you, and our future family. I promise with absolute certainty that I will use you as a heater whenever I’m cold,” she confirmed, and Steve chuckled.

“And I promise to never, _ever_ take for granted the fact that you’re here with me now. Whatever heaven or hell may bring, I’m by your side. I love you, my darling.”

“ _Peggy_ ,” Steve whispered, his voice thick with emotion.

“I do love you so terribly,” she whispered back

“May we please have the rings?” Phillips asked plainly, though Peggy could tell he had been just as affected by their vows as they had.

Bucky stepped forward and handed the rings to Steve and Peggy.

“Now repeat after me. I Steve, take thee Peggy.”

Steve slid the ring on her finger, and Peggy grinned widely.

“I Steve, take thee Peggy,” he repeated.

“To be my lawfully wedded wife. To have and to hold, from this way forward.”

“To be my lawfully wedded wife. To have and to hold, from this way forward.”

“For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.”

“For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.”

“Now Carter, repeat after me.”

“Gladly,” she grinned.

“I Peggy, take thee Steve,” Phillips said pointedly, though he was smiling.

She slid the ring onto Steve’s finger, grinning up at him.

“I Peggy, take thee Steve.”

“To be my lawfully wedded husband. To have and to hold, from this way forward. For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.”

“To be my lawfully wedded husband. To have and to hold, from this way forward. For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.”

“By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Now go on and kiss each other already.”

Without any hesitation, Peggy pulled Steve down by the lapels of his jacket and kissed him deeply.She felt Steve’s arms wrap around her waist and pull her tightly to him. He lifted her off her feet, and Peggy let out a pleased sigh as she wound her arms around his neck. The sound of whistling and cheering from their friends just barely reminded her that they weren’t alone. Steve set her down gently, and she pulled away slightly.

Steve looked as breathless as she felt. He nuzzled his nose against hers and matched her grin.

“I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you,” she whispered back.

 

* * *

 

After receiving personal congratulations from their friends, Peggy snuck a meaningful look to Bucky and Angie, who both grinned conspiratorially at her. They began to casually usher everyone to the ballroom that Howard had prepared for their reception. 

Peggy smiled thankfully at them and then turned to Steve, kissing him passionately the moment the door closed behind Bucky and Angie.

“You shaved,” she said breathlessly when she pulled away.

“I know,” Steve grinned.

“But what about your alias? Won’t you be discovered?”

“I’ve established myself as Grant Carter, and everyone thinks Captain America is dead, so they have no reason to think I’d be him. People see what they want to see. And you said you wanted to marry me as Steve, not my alias. Thought I’d contribute to the cause,” he shrugged.

“So you shaved.”

“So I shaved.”

Peggy didn’t think her heart could be filled with more love for him, but somehow Steve always managed to surprise her.

“I love you, my darling.”

“I love you too, Mrs. Rogers.”

“Oh I do like the sound of that,” she said, playing with his tie.

“Me too.”

“We’ll have to save it for when it’s just us, like a special occasion.”

“Every moment with you is a special occasion.”

Peggy rolled her eyes fondly.

“You’re a terrible sap.”

“ _Your_ terrible sap,” he reminded her.

“And don’t you forget it,” she told him sternly.

“Not on my life, Mrs. Rogers.”

 

* * *

 

“Now everyone give it up for the first time publicly as a married couple: Mr. and Mrs. Grant and Peggy Carter!” Howard announced loudly upon their arrival to the reception room, foiling their attempt to sneak in quietly. 

Steve rolled his eyes fondly as everyone cheered.

He locked eyes with Howard, who gave him a large grin and a thumbs up.

“Now to kick off this party, it’s time for their first dance. Come here you crazy kids,” Howard called to them.

“Do you think he’s already drunk or is this how he always is at weddings?” he asked her.

“Knowing Howard, it’s probably a bit of both,” Peggy murmured back.

Steve laughed and offered Peggy his arm. When she accepted, he led Peggy to the dance floor and pulled her close, holding one of her hands in his and wrapping his other around her to rest on the small of her back.

He nuzzled his nose against her cheek and leaned his forehead against her temple as they began to slow dance. He heard Peggy sigh contentedly and he smiled softly.

“I feel like I’m dreaming,” he murmured. “I mean, I’ve dreamed of this moment.”

“Me too,” Peggy admitted, turning her head to nuzzle his nose with hers. “But now we’re here, my darling.”

“Finally.”

“You’re the one who took so long to propose, wanting to make it so special,” she teased.

Steve grinned and spun her, causing her to laugh.

“Call me a hopeless romantic.”

“I already do,” she pointed out. “Though now I do get to say _my husband_ is a hopeless romantic.”

The song changed and Steve pulled Peggy closer. In his peripheral vision, he could see others joining them on the dance floor, but he only had eyes for his wife, whose smile was so radiant he knew that even the sun couldn’t hold a candle to it.

After a few more songs, he noticed someone coming toward them. He looked up and saw Jarvis approaching from behind Peggy.

“May I interrupt?”

Peggy looked over her shoulder and smiled softly.

“Of course,” Steve said, kissing Peggy’s hand before pulling away to let Jarvis have a turn dancing with her.

“Guess this means I’m up,” he heard a voice from behind him.

He turned to see Angie standing with her hands on her hips, looking up at him expectantly with a shit-eating grin.

Steve smiled and offered her his hand.

“It would be my honour,” he said.

Angie laughed.

“You’re a real gentlemen, you know. Like something right out of a movie. Has English ever told you that?”

“Once or twice,” he grinned, feeling his cheeks heat up.

“You know, English was right. You’re surprisingly light on your feet,” Angie told him. 

“I had a good teacher,” he admitted. 

“She’s really something, huh?” Angie prodded.

“Yeah, she is,” Steve said, sneaking a glance to where Peggy was now being engulfed in a hug by Ana Jarvis, her husband watching the two women with fond eyes.

“When I first met her, she was real closed off. At first I took it personally, before I realized it’s just how she was, and before I helped her evade prison - I’m sure she’s told you all about how I saved her ass.”

“Many times,” Steve told her with a wink. “And she also says that you did eventually crack her open with your charm and persistence.”

“Damn right,” she said proudly. “But the point is, I didn’t really understand. I mean, I got it. She’d fought in a war, lost a fella, and it all burned her and left her leaving people at arms’ length.

Then you came back and it was like she finished waking up. Seeing the two of you together I finally understood all the things that she hadn’t told me about how much you meant to her and how hard it was for her before you came back.”

She took a breath.

“So I guess what I’m getting at is that I’m glad you’re back. Don’t mess it up.”

Steve smiled softly at her.

“Thank you Angie. That means a lot. I know you’re really important to her.”

“Yeah well you’re not so bad yourself,” she winked at him.

 

* * *

 

“Who knew you’ve been hiding that pretty face under that beard all along?” Ramirez ribbed him as the fellas from SHIELD gathered around him to congratulate him after he had finished his dance with Angie.

“Didn’t think it’d be fair to you fellas to flaunt this ‘pretty face’ around all the time,” Steve quipped.

“Awe, sacrificing all the attention of dames for our sake? How noble,” Anderson joked.

“You knuckleheads need all the help you can get,” Steve said.

“Hey! I’ve been married for years already,” Ramirez reminded them.

“And it’s not like anyone could compete when you look like the country’s national hero,” Jack mentioned casually, though Steve knew that he had been regarding him with a newfound curiosity since he had arrived.

“I’m as handsome as any national hero,” Anderson muttered.

Davis and Ramirez both snorted.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, pretty boy,” Jack quipped.

“What matters is that I got my own dame. I don’t need anyone else’s attention,” Steve said, looking over at Peggy, who was now dancing with Bucky.

“Oh here we go, he’s got that goofy grin on his face again,” Davis said.

“He’s lost to us now, fellas,” Anderson joked.

“Bets on how long it’ll take for him to come back down to Earth?” Ramirez asked.

“I don’t think he’s coming back down any time soon, if ever,” Jack snorted.

Steve hardly paid their teasing any attention as he caught Peggy’s eye. Her entire face lit up immediately and she grinned at him. Bucky followed her line of sight and smirked before whispering something in her ear. Peggy grinned and whispered something back before removing herself from Bucky wandering over to him. When he was within reach, she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him deeply.

Steve let out a small noise of surprise and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer.

Normally, neither of them liked much - if any - public displays of affection, but Steve found himself kissing his wife ( _wife_ ) with as much fervour as she was kissing him with and not caring one bit about where they were.

When she pulled away, Steve felt as though he was floating. 

“Hi,” she whispered.

“Hi,” he whispered back, grinning dreamily at her.

“Care for a dance?” she asked.

“With you? Always.”

He heard a few groans come from behind him and he turned around to see the fellas from the office all rolling their eyes at them - though not unkindly.

“Settle down, gentlemen. It is my wedding and I shall behave as openly affectionate as I wish. You may choose to look away or not,” Peggy told them.

“Bride’s calling the shots I see,” Jack joked.

“Same as the office, nothing new there,” Ramirez teased

“Precisely,” she winked at them before dragging Steve off toward the dance floor.

 

* * *

 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you happier,” Bucky told Steve when he sat down beside him at their table.

“I didn’t think it was possible to be this happy,” Steve told him.

He looked over to where Peggy was dancing with Angie, both of them laughing as they twirled each other around the dance floor. They were soon joined by Howard and Michael, who asked Peggy and Angie to dance, respectively.

“Who would’ve thought we’d end up here?” Bucky asked.

“Not me. Not after losing the two of you the first time,” Steve admitted.

Bucky snorted.

“You’re a stubborn punk. I knew you’d figure out a way to get hitched to Carter no matter what.”

“Buck-”

“Hey no. No sad ‘what almost wasn’t’. It’s your wedding. You have your best girl and your best friend by your side. Enjoy it and be happy. You deserve it.”

“Thanks, punk.”

“Don’t mention it, jerk,” Bucky smiled at him before looking out at the dance floor.

“Speaking of your best girl though, you might want to get her away from Stark before he injures her - or she decks him.”

Steve looked over to the dance floor where a now very drunk Howard now attempting to dance the Lindy with Peggy, and judging by Peggy’s half-exasperated expression, he had been stepping on her feet consistently for the last few minutes.

He couldn’t help but chuckle as he made his way over to the dance floor to rescue his wife from Howard. After all, he still had very important plans for the rest of their night and he would like her to be as in tact as possible.

 

* * *

 

**En Route to Peggy and Steve Carter-Rogers’ Apartment - Brooklyn, NY**

“It was incredibly kind of you to drive us home, Mr. Jarvis,” Peggy told him from where she was sitting beside Steve in the backseat. 

“There was no way we were going to let you take a cab home on your wedding night,” Ana Jarvis told her pointedly from the passenger seat.

“And we drove you there, it was only fair for us to provide you with transportation back,” Jarvis added.

Steve grinned and kissed Peggy’s ring finger.

“I can’t thank you both enough for coming,” Peggy said.

Ana snorted, but grinned widely.

“As if we were going to miss it. You’re family. And I mean both of you,” 

She caught Steve’s eye in the rear view mirror and smiled warmly at him.

“Thank you,” he said. “You both mean a lot to us.”

He could practically feel the Jarvis’ both beaming and when he looked over at Peggy, she was looking at him with such love in her eyes that he felt his heart stutter. Steve leaned down to kiss her gently. He pulled away far sooner than he would have liked, for propriety’s sake.

She grinned up at him and nuzzled their noses together before resting her head on his shoulder. Steve wrapped his arm around her and kissed her head. He looked up and made eye contact with Jarvis in the rearview mirror.

His expression was kind and he gave Steve a subtle nod. Steve smiled in return, understanding the approval that Jarvis had given him in that exchange.

 

* * *

 

**Peggy and Steve Carter-Rogers’ Apartment - Brooklyn, NY** ****

Steve practically felt like a teenager with the way he couldn’t keep himself from kissing Peggy the moment the elevator door closed behind them. Peggy moaned into his mouth and pressed his back against the wall of the elevator, tangling a hand in his hair. 

Somehow they managed to stumble their way to their apartment door without removing themselves from each other. Steve leaned her back against their door and pulled away only to find his keys and unlock the door. Peggy’s lips attached themselves to his neck as he did so, dragging her nails down his chest. 

He stopped her the moment he unlocked the door, and she gave him a quizzical look. He leaned down to kiss her tenderly before scooping her up in his arms. Peggy laughed and kissed his cheek, wrapping her arms around his neck.

Steve grinned and carried her through the threshold, kicking the door closed behind him and locking it. He carried her to the bedroom and set her down gently. She used him as a support as she took off her shoes, and he followed her lead and removed his, moving them out of the way.

Peggy turned around and removed her veil carefully, setting it on her nightstand. Steve stepped behind her and began kissing her neck, wrapping his arms around her. She sighed softly and leaned back into him.

“Any requests for tonight, Mrs. Rogers?”

“Mmmm just one,” she murmured, leaning her head back onto his shoulder.

“Anything.”

“Keep calling me that,” she grinned slyly.

“Your wish is my command, Mrs. Rogers.”

Steve spun her around and kissed her passionately. Peggy’s hands began to slowly unbutton his jacket and remove it before beginning their work on his shirt. 

When she had rid him of his shirt, she gently moved him back until his legs hit the edge of the bed. He sat down and pulled her onto his lap. Peggy wrapped her legs around his waist and broke the kiss.

Her lips curled up into a smile and she murmured:

“You’re quite the sight for sore eyes.”

“And you’re a damn vision, Mrs. Rogers.”

“Flatterer,” she grinned, kissing his cheek.

Steve sighed and let his eyes flutter shut. He wanted to savour every single thing about this moment. The weight of her body in his lap and the material of her dress in his hands, the way her lips kissed their way along his jaw, biting gently every now and again, how her silk stockings felt around his bare waist and back.

They remained that way for a few minutes until Peggy pulled away to stand. She turned around and moved her hair to the side.

“Unzip me?” she asked, throwing him a coy smile.

Steve grinned and stood. He slowly began to unzip her dress, letting his fingers lightly follow the line of her spine. He pushed it off her shoulders, pausing to kiss them and her neck. and helped her step out of it. He picked it up and draped the dress on the back of the chair in front of her vanity.

Steve walked back to her and grabbed her white slip in his hands. She raised her arms, and after pausing to squeeze her hips, he brought it over her head. He gave it the same care that he gave her dress before turning back to appreciate the view, feeling as though he had the wind knocked out of him at the sight of her in just her bra, panties, garter and stockings.

Peggy grinned at him.

“Like what you see?”

“Jesus Christ do I ever, _Mrs. Rogers_ ,” he breathed out.

Peggy laughed and beckoned him to her. She began working on his belt as he kissed her lovingly. Soon, they had worked each other out of every article of clothing that was left and were kissing fiercely on the bed, Peggy straddling his lap, her hands tangled in his hair.

She gently pushed at his shoulders until he was laying back on the bed, and began to kiss along his jaw and move down his neck. He sighed as she took her time moving her mouth down his body, nipping and kissing and sucking. Steve grinned, knowing that it thrilled Peggy to mark him, despite the fact that it would all be gone by morning at the latest.

She licked a stripe up his cock and he swore. He heard Peggy’s light laugh and she murmured. 

“Oh my darling, I’m just getting started.”

“Peggy-”

Any thoughts or words that were going to follow that left his mind as she took him into her mouth. Her hand covered what her mouth couldn’t and Steve tangled one hand in her hair and twisted the other in the bed sheet, giving himself over to her completely.

Eventually, Steve gently tugged on her hair, trying to warn her that he wasn’t going to last much longer.

“Peggy, I’m - _fuck_ \- I’m close.”

Instead of stopping, she redoubled her efforts and Steve said her name like a curse as he came in her mouth.

She pulled off and climbed up to lay beside him, smiling coyly as she ran her fingertips up and down his chest.

“That’s not necessarily how I thought this night would start,” he murmured, looking over at her.

“That’s funny, because that’s exactly what I had planned for starters,” she told him cheekily.

Steve grinned and pulled her to him, kissing her deeply. She smiled against his mouth and tangled their legs together as they kissed passionately. He lay her on her back and began to kiss his way down her body, giving her the same attention that she had given him.

Peggy had a strict rule about him not leaving any love bites above her collarbone so that she would not have to try to cover them up for work. That meant, however, that anything else was fair game, and tonight he was going to take full advantage of it, marking her as his, knowing that though no one else could see it, she would know that those marks were there.

He spent extra time kissing and sucking at her breasts. She gasped softly when he licked her nipple and rubbed her other one with his thumb. 

Even though he could spend his entire life between them - a fact that he had told Peggy several times - he continued his way down her body. He paused to kiss the scar on her abdomen, then paused again when he reached her stomach. He nuzzled his nose there gently and kissed it, hoping that he was pouring as much love and care for her and their child into his kisses as he was feeling.

He lifted her legs over his shoulders and gently nipped at the inside of her thighs, making sure to kiss the bruises that were left in his wake and she gasped softly.

“You’re a terrible tease,” she murmured, threading a hand through his hair.

“I learned from the best.”

Before she could retort, he licked her core, eliciting a throaty moan from her.

“Something wrong, Mrs. Rogers?” he smirked.

“Something will be if you stop now,” she told him pointedly.

Steve grinned and decided that she still sounded too in control of her voice and began working his mouth on her. She tangled her hands in his hair and sighed.

Peggy’s breaths began to come shorter and he knew she was close. He slid two fingers into her and she swore. Her hips began to grind back against his face and fingers, as though they were unsure which one they wanted to follow.

She came with a small cry, her thighs trembling slightly. He continued his ministrations until he heard her gasp sharply and whimper loudly as she came a second time, her nails digging into his scalp. She collapsed back against the bed and sighed.

Steve pulled away and crawled his way up her body. She gave him a dreamy grin and pulled him down so he was laying on top of her and kissed him gently.

Steve slowly shifted so that he was between her legs and she wrapped her legs around him.

He slid in and they both groaned. Peggy hiked her legs up higher so that they wrapped around his waist, providing him with better access. He kissed her lovingly as he began to move. Her nails bit into his shoulder and back, encouraging him on and he began driving into her harder and harder until he knew she was almost there.

Moving his hand between them, his fingers found her clit, causing her gasp. It only took them circling around her clit, once, twice before she was coming with a sh. Her muscles contracting around him brought his own orgasm, and he buried his face in her neck as he moaned loudly.

As they both caught their breath, Steve gently moved her hair away from her face and let his fingers continue and trace along her jaw. He was struck in that moment - not for the first time - by just how gorgeous she was.

“Steve?” she whispered, looking at him with concern in her eyes.

It was then that he realized that he had been staring at her and his eyes had begun to fill with tears.

Not knowing how to possibly describe the flurry of emotions he was feeling, he decided to settle with the most prominent one.

“I love you,” he said quietly.

“I love you, my darling,” she told him, smiling softly.

He rolled them over and shifted their positions so he was laying on his back, with Peggy lying almost entirely on top of him. She grinned at him and kissed him tenderly. She adjusted herself so she could use his chest as a pillow and he wrapped his arms around her, keeping her as close as possible. 

Steve nuzzled his nose into her hair and murmured.

“Goodnight, Mrs. Rogers.”

“Goodnight, Mr. Carter,” she murmured back.

Steve fell asleep with a large smile on his face, his heart near bursting with contentedness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There were so many other little interactions that I wanted to write but couldn't fit in for the sake of the flow of the chapter. I might end up writing a little side-chapter with all of them just because.
> 
> Finally, all my love to my beta and friend, Darcy.


	23. Fuelling the Fire

**January 15th, 1950 - Peggy and Steve Carter-Rogers’ Apartment, Brooklyn NY** ****

Steve woke up to the sunlight gently tickling his face. Squinting, he looked over at the clock on the nightstand, seeing that it was just shy of 9AM. His mouth slowly formed a smile, relishing not only the rare opportunity to sleep in, but the sight of his now _wife_ asleep in his arms. 

Peggy was curled up on her side facing him. Part of her hair had fallen to cover her face, and a small streak of sunlight that had snuck through their curtains was highlighting her slightly parted lips. He watched her chest rise and fall slowly for a few minutes before he decided that he wanted to be the one to wake her up today - not an alarm or her morning sickness.

Steve nuzzled his nose against hers and peppered her face with gentle kisses until he heard the telltale sign of her soft sigh, and saw her eyes blink open slowly.

“Good morning, my darling,” she murmured, a soft smile on her face.

He kissed her softly and slowly, feeling her sigh contentedly against his lips. When he pulled away she burrowed herself closer against him, burying her face in his neck.

“Good morning, Mrs. Rogers,” he greeted.

His smile grew as he felt her nuzzle her nose into his neck.

“That still sounds just as perfect as it did last night,” she told him.

“I couldn’t agree more, Mrs. Rogers.”

“Can we stay here forever?” she asked, pressing lazy kisses to his neck.

“For as long as you like, my dear,” he told her.

“Good.”

Steve closed his eyes and sighed contentedly.

“I’m sorry we couldn’t take a proper honeymoon,” she murmured, hardly pausing her attention to his neck to speak.

“We both agreed to that, with everything going on,” he reminded her.

“Still. I promise that I’ll give you a honeymoon, my darling.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

“I’d rather you continue holding me, quite frankly.”

“Done,” Steve grinned.

She looked up at him, causing a piece of hair to slide onto her face. He tucked it behind her right ear. She caught his hand and brushed her lips along his knuckles.

“You know,” Peggy began. “I’m very pleased that you now also have a ring.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes, I’d say it suits you quite nicely, Mr. Carter,” she told him.

“I think so too, Mrs. Rogers,” Steve grinned, lacing their fingers together and kissing her knuckles in return.

She gently turned his head to face hers and kissed him deeply. Eventually his free hand wandered down to her thigh and wrapped it around his waist, effectively pulling her closer. She gasped softly and reached down without breaking apart from his mouth, taking him in her hand. After that there was no more talking for a while.

 

* * *

 

**January 23rd, 1950 - One of Howard Stark’s Estates, Manhattan, NY**

“Good morning Captain Rogers,” Jarvis greeted.

“Good morning Jarvis,” Steve reciprocated, allowing Jarvis to lead him to Howard’s lab.

“Tell me, how is married life treating you?” he asked knowingly.

Steve couldn’t help but grin widely.

“ _Perfect_. Peggy’s perfect. I wake up every morning and she’s there beside me and she’s my _wife_ and no matter how many times it happens I still can’t believe my luck. This is all a dream come true - _she’s_ a dream come true.”

Jarvis smirked and Steve realized that he had started to ramble, though he couldn’t bring himself to apologize.

“I’m delighted you think so. Believe me, marriage only gets better with time,” he confided, his eyes sparkling.

“I can’t wait,” Steve said truthfully, unable to shake the smile off his face and finding himself not wanting to.

“Hey Cap,” Howard greeted when he noticed that Steve and Jarvis had arrived in the lab. 

Something shifted in Howard’s eyes 

“I see you came without Peg.”

Steve’s smile faltered slightly.

“She had to meet with Ramirez this morning,” Steve said. “Is that not okay?”

“You tell me, pal,” Howard replied, not looking up from whatever machine he was tinkering with.

“Howard what-”

“Fact one, you go into the future and spend more than a decade there. You now have this plethora of knowledge that Peg tells me you’re extremely tight-lipped about, even with her.”

“Because I don’t want to accidentally mess things up here - I mean I know I’ve already changed some things but-”

“Fact two,” Howard continued as though Steve hadn’t interrupted. “I’ve rarely seen you without Peggy present in the time since you’ve been back.”

Howard finally looked up at him and continued. 

“During the war we went to pubs and bars on our off days when we were in the same place. We were friends.”

“We are friends,” Steve argued.

“You sure about that? Because the only other time we’ve talked this much one on one since you’ve come back was before your wedding ceremony.”

Steve went to counter, but found himself unable to refute Howard’s facts. When he stayed silent, Howard gave him a sad smile.

“Nothing’s changed on my end,” Howard said. “So that leads me to believe that something bad happens to me in the future. Real bad. You’re keeping your distance because you don’t want to accidentally spill what it is - or you’re trying to save yourself the pain of getting any closer to a dead man walking.”

Steve felt a pit form in his stomach.

“Howard…” Steve trailed off, not knowing what he could possibly say.

“Look, I don’t want to know what happens to me, I really don’t. Especially judging by the look on your face, I can tell it’s… But Peg wasn’t the only one who missed you while you were gone.”

Steve frowned. Though he had also missed Howard, he couldn’t deny that he had been keeping him at an arms’ length.

There was a time when he would feel a sharp pain every time he saw Tony’s face, being reminded of his friend that he left behind. Now it seemed the opposite was true. It was difficult to look at Howard without seeing Tony’s lifeless body, or hearing his voice, especially when they were more alike than Tony ever cared to admit. 

Looking at Howard meant being faced with the reality that he hadn’t been able to save Tony, or Natasha for that matter, and that when faced with the option, he took the path of an easier life; laid his shield down in favour of the life he really wanted.

Looking at Howard meant he had to come to terms with the selfish nature of his actions, and question for the umpteenth time what right he had to do so - despite how happy he was now.

“I’m sorry,” Steve said softly. “I didn’t mean to keep you at a distance.”

“I know,” Howard said honestly. “But now that you do know what you’ve been doing, how about you stop and we can just pretend like we’ve got all the time in the world? After all, you’re Mr. Time Travel.”

Steve gave him a small smile.

“Yeah I’d like that. I promise to stop being a jerk,” Steve said.

Howard snorted.

“If you’re a jerk, what does that make the rest of us sinners?”

Steve couldn’t help but chuckle and shake his head. Howard smiled back and opened a drawer, grabbing a small bottle from it.

“Here,” he said, tossing the bottle to Steve, who easily caught it. “Try these for two weeks, and then we’ll go from there.”

“Thanks, Howard.”

“No problem pal.”

“What do you say we go for drinks tonight?”

“Even though you can’t get drunk?”

“Yeah, for old times, and for new times.”

“And you can tell me all about the technology in the future.”

“Not a chance,” Steve said. “But I’ll buy the first round.”

“Deal,” Howard grinned. “Though you know you’ll have to be my wingman, since you’re a married man now.”

“Have you ever really needed help with that in the first place?”

“Nope, but it’s just almost as much fun watching you trying to talk to women on my behalf as it is wooing them myself. How you ever managed to sweet-talk Peg into marrying you, I’ll never know,” Howard teased.

“Honestly, me neither,” Steve confided, though he gave his friend a warm smile. ****

* * *

 

**January 31st, 1950 - Conference Room, SHIELD NY Headquarters**

“Give me some good news, Jack,” Peggy said as she entered the conference room, closing the door behind her.

Peggy had been working overtime every day since shortly after their wedding in hopes of gaining ground on their investigation. Though it wasn’t too much different from her regular work ethic, the addition of morning sickness and lack of caffeine had Peggy feeling as though she was running on fumes. She desperately needed a breakthrough to help speed Bucky’s plan along. 

“Not exactly good, but Anderson’s search team just discovered a body that washed up on Staten Island. We were able to ID it as Lieutenant Fred Wells.” he responded, handing her a case file.

Peggy frowned as she looked through the photos of Fred’s body. Though his body had been beaten by his murderer and bloated by the water, she could identify him immediately. Though Fred had been arrogant and blind as to who she was and what she needed, she never would have wished him dead.

“You okay, Carter?”

“I’ll be better once we catch the bastards behind this,” she said truthfully.

“Then let’s get em,” Jack responded.

Peggy was grateful that he didn’t press any further. They had known since the beginning that the most likely scenario was that Leviathan would have killed Fred, but seeing it confirmed had affected her more than she would have thought. She set the file down on the table, not being able to help but notice the intensity with which Jack was now staring at the pictures.

“What is it?” she asked him.

“There’s something strange about this,” he voiced his thoughts out loud.

“What do you mean?”

“Take a closer look at these pictures. There’s no way this body has been dead for more three months. Wells has been MIA for years.”

“That means he was most likely killed shortly after we brought Michael back here,” Peggy realized out loud.

“But they could’ve just killed him when they invaded the Home Office and stole the ring.”

“They wouldn’t have if he was valuable to them,” she reasoned.

“Fred Wells was working with Leviathan,” Jack said bitterly, and Peggy felt the pit in her stomach grow.

“It’s difficult to say whether it was willingly or by force. Either way, when Michael left, he became too much of a liability,” she added.

“Wait, if Wells was collaborating with them - voluntarily or otherwise - wouldn’t Michael have known?”

“What are you getting at, Jack?” she said slowly.

“He was at the briefing when we brought up how Leviathan attacked the Home Office.”

“He must have known,” she realized out loud.

“But he hasn’t said anything about it.”

“And that means he’s withheld it from us, along with who knows what else.”

Feeling the weight of her own words hit her, Peggy swore and shook her head, running a hand through her hair. When they had brought him back, Michael had told her he thought she had married Fred. Had it been part of his cover? 

She looked at Jack and he stared back at her grimly.

“What do you want to do about it?” he asked finally.

Peggy thought carefully.

“From now on he’ll get all his information about our plans solely from me, and I will be very selective on what truths I’ll trust him with.”

“He’s sharp. He’ll notice you’re sidelining him,” Jack pointed out.

“Yes, but you seem to have gained his trust. I’ll need you to become his confidant, and see what you can discover from him. Meanwhile I’ll do a little investigating of my own.”

Jack nodded.

“Should I tell the team?”

“Allow me to handle it. Ramirez and his team are occupied with their part of the plan, and Grant and Bucky are on their field op for another two weeks,” she said.

She stared at the photos of Fred’s body, feeling a strange sense of grief fill her.

“Besides, I brought him here, he’s my responsibility.”

“Look, I’m sure it’s nothing,” Jack offered.

“Thank you, Jack,” she said softly. “But I promise that I will give this new revelation the attention it deserves, lest anyone has any plans to see you blown up a week from now.”

He frowned at her.

“Not funny, Carter.”

“Your words, not mine,” she shrugged.

“Besides, I’m no longer Chief. If anyone’s getting blown up, it’s you, _Director_.”

“How comforting,” she quipped, though she found herself sharing a smile with him.

“For me? Definitely,” he joked back.

If anyone had told her four years ago that she would not only enjoy Jack Thompson’s company, but consider him a friend, she would have thought them to be beyond delusional.

 

* * *

 

**February 18th, 1950 - SHIELD Safe House**

“Hey.” 

Mel looked up from where she was putting away books in her and Steph’s room to see Bucky standing in the doorway.

“You’re back,” she greeted, feeling herself smile widely. 

He had left for some mission a few weeks ago with Grant, and had apparently just returned. Mel didn’t care to admit just how much she had missed him. Since they had both agreed to start over they had been more relaxed around each other, and had begun a habit of spending time together - both with and without Steph.

If Mel didn’t know any better, she would say they were almost back to where they had been before Christmas Eve.

“A few days behind schedule but in one piece,” he said.

Though his tone was triumphant, she could tell he was exhausted. She gave him a warm smile before catching herself and clearing her throat.

“I’m glad. And I’m sure Peggy’s happy that Grant’s home.”

Bucky snorted.

“I don’t doubt it. Those two have a hard enough time keeping their hands to themselves. I can’t imagine what they’re like after three weeks apart.”

“Sure they’re a little doe-eyed around each other but I think they’re really good at keeping their displays of affection more private than public,” Mel told him.

“Years of practice. But you didn’t see them at the wedding,” he retorted.

She gave him a small smile.

“Given my track record at SHIELD employee events, I thought it’d be best if I stayed away,” she said, only half-joking.

“I could give you some tips,” he offered. “First things first, when you seduce someone, it’s pretty bad form to give them over to an evil organization immediately afterwards.”

Despite herself, Mel laughed.

“Who said I was seducing you, Barnes?”

“Who asked who to dance?” he countered.

“You actually asked me,” she pointed out.

“After you told me to.”

“You should’ve seen the look on your face! How could I let you stand in the corner looking like a kicked puppy all night?”

“Oh I see, so it was a pity dance,” he said, feigning hurt by putting his hand on his chest.

“No,” she said immediately.

They were both surprised at the conviction that her voice held.

“Oh, um, actually,” she began again after clearing her throat. “Since we’re taking this trip down memory lane, I have something of yours.”

Bucky raised his eyebrow at her.

“Oh?”

She nodded and went to her closet, pulling out the jacket that he had worn that night. Without looking at him, she handed it to him.

“You kept it?” he asked.

Mel bit her lip and nodded, still unable to meet his eyes. She could see Bucky take a step forward and then she felt him tilt her chin up. Her breath caught in her throat as she locked eyes with his.

“Bucky-”

“Wait. Just, let me try something.”

She frowned, but remained still as he draped his jacket over her shoulders.

“Still looks better on you,” he said softly.

His hand moved from where he had left it on her shoulder down her left arm. His fingers ghosted hers and she found herself instinctively reaching out for him. She managed to loosely lace their fingers together. Not knowing what to do with her right hand - and not wanting to break whatever was currently happening - Mel let her free arm hang limply at her side. Bucky took a step closer to her, their faces mere inches away.

“I’m scared,” she whispered, her heart pounding.

“Me too,” he admitted quietly.

“I don’t want to ruin everything again.”

“Do you trust me?”

“Yes, but you have no reason to trust me anymore.”

“Don’t you think I should be the judge of that?” he asked honestly.

After a moment’s hesitation, she nodded.

Bucky leaned in slowly, and Mel let her eyes flutter shut. His nose bumped hers gently and she went to bridge the slight gap between their lips.

“Mel! I think Mr. Bucky’s ba- oh hi, Mr. Bucky!”

Their lips had barely touched when Steph came storming in, causing both of them to jump apart.

“Hey kid,” Bucky said, kneeling down and letting Steph nearly tackle him into a hug. “How many times do I gotta tell you it’s just Bucky?”

“I missed you, Bucky,” she said into his shoulder.

“I missed you too.”

“Did you really or are you just saying that?”

“Of course I mean it, kid.”

Seeming satisfied with his answer, she pulled away with a large grin.

“Now that you’re back, does this mean we can finish reading Pippi Longstocking?”

“I thought you would have finished that by now,” Bucky said, looking at Mel.

“She insisted that we wait for you,” Mel shrugged, her heart warm at the sight before her.

“Then of course we can,” he said.

Steph squealed delightedly and hugged him again. Bucky laughed and looked at Mel over Steph’s shoulder. Mel smiled warmly at him and he winked back.

“Hey where’d you get this?” Bucky asked when Steph finally released him, pointing to the second safety pin that was located right beside the one he gave her weeks ago.

“Mr. Michael gave it to me.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow.

“Did he now?”

“Mhmm. He said he liked the one you gave me and thought another one would look good with it.”

Bucky examined it closely, and Mel watched as his mouth formed a grim line and his eyes darkened.

“Is there something wrong, Bucky?” she asked.

Her voice seemed to shake Bucky out of his thoughts. He stood.

“No problem. I just remembered I still need to debrief with the team. I’ll see you around.”

He left without another word, and Mel was left wondering what the hell had just happened.

“Were you two kissing?” Steph broke Mel out of her thoughts.

“What? Uh - no. No we weren’t.”

“But you’re wearing his jacket.”

“Steph,” Mel said warningly, quickly taking it off her shoulders.

“It’s okay if you were kissing! Next time just give me a sign and I can give you two some privacy,” Steph said cheekily.

“ _Stephanie_.”

 

* * *

 

**February 20th, 1950 - SHIELD NY Headquarters**

Bucky narrowed his eyes as he watched Michael talk to Peggy in one of the conference rooms. They were too far away from him to be able to eavesdrop, but it was plain as day that they were in the middle of an argument.

Though Peggy had gone home with Steve by the time he tried to find her after his encounter with Steph and Mel, he tracked her down first thing the next morning and told her about the pin. 

 

_“And you’re certain about this?”_

_“Yes. That kind of technology was everywhere. I think they had different uses for it, but they put one on me when I was first being programmed as the Winter Soldier.”_

_“Does this mean that they’ve programmed Steph?”_

_“Maybe, but it does mean that one way or another they’re going to use her.”_

_“We won’t let that happen,” she promised before letting out a slow breath._

_“You alright, Peg? You kinda look like you’re about to throw up.”_

_“I’m fine.”_

_He raised his eyebrow at her._

_“I dropped a Michael-sized bomb on you and you’re ‘fine’?”_

_“I’ve actually been suspecting him of lying to us for a while now.”_

_She didn’t make eye contact with him as she spoke, just stared at some unknown spot behind his shoulder. Though she was keeping her face perfectly neutral, Bucky knew just how well she was at masking her emotions._

_“How long?” he asked_

_“Just over two weeks.”_

_“Have you told Steve?”_

_She shook her head._

_“You were both away, and then last night-”_

_“Your mouths were otherwise preoccupied,” he supplied, hoping to lighten her mood._

_She pursed her lips but he could see the faint blush forming on her cheeks._

_“I was going to say that we left early last night so that we could have dinner.”_

_“That’s all? After more than three weeks apart? Have I taught him nothing about how to treat a dame?”_

_Peggy raised her eyebrow at him._

_“Believe me Bucky, you and I have both taught him how to ‘treat a dame’ as you so eloquently put it, and as with everything else he’s ever done, I have found him to be a remarkably quick study,” she told him, a smirk playing at her lips._

_“Now that’s what I’m talking about,” he told her with a large grin, causing her to roll her eyes at him, though she was still smiling._

_“In regards to our next steps, Michael’s every move is being watched. His involvement in our missions has lessened and are assigned only by me. I’ll make sure to put vigilance on Steph twenty-four hours a day.”_

_“And we’ll take the pin from her,” he added._

_“We can’t.”_

_“Like hell we can’t-”_

_“Bucky think rationally. She’s been wearing it every day for almost two weeks. If she takes it off now, Michael will have reason to suspect that we are onto him and it could ruin everything.”_

_“So we use that little girl as a tool for our cause?”_

_“No,” she said vehemently. “I will personally see to it that no harm comes her way.”_

_“Peggy-”_

_“Bucky trust me,” she pleaded. “She’s in more danger if they find out we know they’re going to use her again.”_

_“Fine. But you have to promise that her safety is your number one priority.”_

_“You have my word.”_

_He stared at her stonily until she sighed in frustration._

_“Alright, I swear to you on my life that I will personally ensure that no harm comes to a single hair on her head.”_

_“Good.”_

 

“Everything alright there?” Bucky asked as Michael passed him on his way out of the conference room.

“Nothing that is your concern,” Michael snapped.

Bucky raised his eyebrow at him, and he felt his anger rise.

“Respectfully, of course,” Michael amended half-heartedly.

“Respectfully, sure.”

Michael picked up on his sarcasm.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing,” Bucky shrugged. 

“Out with it Barnes, I really don’t have time for games.”

Bucky couldn’t help but let out a scoff.

He thought about Steph, already kidnapped once and now being used again by someone they had all trusted. He thought about the pain that having Steph being used again would do to Mel, and he felt his anger grow and threaten to overwhelm him.

“I’m not the one playing games here. I know there is something going on with you, and I am going to find out what it is.”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” Michael warned.

“No, you have no idea who you’re dealing with,” Bucky retaliated, narrowing his eyes.

“I’ve read your file, Barnes.”

“Then you know exactly what I’m capable of.”

“So what, you’re threatening me now?”

“If you’re planning on turning on us, absolutely.”

Time seemed to freeze as Michael tensed and scrutinized him.

“Do you really think that’s what I’m up to?”

“I think that despite the fact that we’ve lived in the same building for months, I don’t actually know you all that well. But I do know the lengths that Leviathan and HYDRA would go in order to win. Which means anything’s possible. I’m just being cautious.”

“You’re an idiot if you think I would ever hurt Peggy like that. She’s my sister-” 

“And you’re forgetting that she’s also mine. Her and Steve? They’re my family. You make a move against them, you make a move against me.”

“I’d tread very carefully with what you say next Barnes,” Michael said in a low voice.

“Or what, you’ll turn me over to HYDRA? You wouldn’t be the first.”

Michael scoffed.

“All this time back in the real world and you still haven’t a clue, do you?”

Without another word, Michael continued walking passed him. Bucky remained rooted where he stood, and watched him go. Eventually his anger finally subsided enough for him to realize what he had just done.

_Shit._

 

* * *

 

**Peggy Carter’s Office - SHIELD NY Headquarters**

“You did _what_?”

Bucky couldn’t help but flinch slightly at Peggy’s sharp tone.

“I-”

“What did I tell you when you wanted to take the pin away from Steph?”

“That she would be in more danger if he thought we were onto him,” he said sheepishly.

“Oh good, it seems that your ears do function after all,” she scolded him.

“I’m sorry, Peg. I just - I thought about him using Steph and I got so _angry_ and before I knew it I was… I guess I got carried away.”

“ _You guess_? You told him you suspected him of betraying us! Did you not think that he would make the connection between you and Steve and think you told him something? Or that you would have come straight to me for that matter?”

“I-”

“No, you were not thinking. _Clearly_.”

Bucky swallowed hard and looked at Steve for help. His friend, who had been standing silently in the corner up until this point, gave him a helpless, wide-eyed look. Peggy noticed this and narrowed her eyes.

“Don’t bother looking at Steve, he can’t help you, nor is it in his best interest to try,” she said pointedly. “Now you are to report back to your assigned project and you will not speak a word to Michael. You won’t even look at him. Is that understood?”

“Yes, ma’am,” he agreed quickly. 

“Let’s just hope your short temper hasn’t blown this whole thing,” she threatened before storming out of her own office.

Bucky waited until he could no longer hear her heels clicking down the hall before releasing the breath he was holding.

“You never told me she could get that terrifying,” he muttered in Steve’s direction.

“You’re lucky she didn’t shoot at you,” he said quietly, clearly also in shock at the dressing down Bucky just received.

“I think I would’ve preferred that to what just happened.”

Steve let out a small chuckle, and the tension in the room slowly lifted. 

“Speaking from personal experience, no you don’t. Look, I’ll talk to her, but I’ll let her cool down first. If there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that it’s best to give her some space before having a hard conversation.”

“Not the only thing you’ve learned, apparently,” Bucky commented.

Steve frowned.

“What?”

“Just something Peggy said.”

“What did she say?”

“That you’re a _remarkable_ learner in the realm of ‘how to treat a dame’. But I always knew you had it in you,” Bucky teased.

Bucky couldn’t help but laugh slightly as Steve’s ears went red. For whatever apparent prowess he had gained with women these last few years, he was still as bashful talking about them as he had been when he was still skinny.

 

* * *

 

**February 21st, 1950 - A Shoebox Apartment - The Bronx, NY**

The woman curled her lips up into a venomous smile as she read the words on the paper as they were typed by the typewriter.

 

_T_ _hey are getting too suspicious. Forget the timeline, we need to act._

_Now._

 

* * *

 

**February 22nd, 1950 - Peggy and Steve Carter-Rogers’ Apartment, Brooklyn NY**

“Oh Angie I am so proud of you!” Peggy exclaimed into the phone.

“Didn’t I tell you I belong on Broadway?”

Though Peggy couldn’t see Angie, she could tell that her friend was absolutely glowing with pride on the other side of the phone call.

“We both knew it. And Steve will be so happy as well. You’ll have to tell us the date of your opening night so we can go see you in all your glory.”

Steve, who had been in the kitchen washing their breakfast dishes, re-emerged at the mention of his name. Peggy noticed waved him off casually, now accustomed to his superhuman hearing meaning that she could rarely have a conversation in their apartment without him hearing it clear as day - unintentional though it may be. He raised his eyebrow at her, though he smiled.

“Of course, English! God, I feel like I’m dreaming.”

“No one deserves this more than you, Angie.”

“Thanks, English. Are we still on for dinner next week?”

“Yes, as long as wherever we go has no seafood anywhere in sight.”

“Since when do you hate seafood?”

Peggy grimaced as she recalled just a week ago when an agent had brought a particularly pungent clam chowder to work and ate it during one of their working lunches, causing her to excuse herself to vomit twice in the course of an hour.

“I’ve just had my fill of it lately and would prefer to avoid it.”

“Alright, whatever you say, English,” Angie said before hanging up.

Peggy smiled and set the phone on the receiver.

“What was that about?” Steve asked, coming up and holding Peggy from behind.

“Angie just got casted both in the ensemble and as the understudy of the female lead in a show that’s opening on Broadway in a few months,” Peggy told him.

“Which one?” Steve asked.

“Guys and Dolls. She’s going to understudy Miss Adelaide.”

“That’s wonderful!” he exclaimed.

“I know. I’ve already told her that we are going to her opening night, and if we get notice in advance that she is going on as Miss Adelaide that we will also be there.”

“Of course,” he said, kissing her temple.

Peggy sighed happily and leaned into him.

“How are you feeling this morning?” he asked her.

Steve moved his hands to hold her stomach gently and she smiled softly. He had sworn to her last night that she was beginning to show, and though Peggy knew that she wasn’t quite there yet, he had been so excited that she decided not to fight him too hard on the matter.

“Considering I’ve only vomited twice, I consider it a good morning,” she told him.

She could practically feel him frown.

“I wish there was something I could do.”

“Steve, you’re already five seconds away from carrying me at any given moment. Believe me when I say that you are doing more than enough,” she told him.

He hesitated for a moment and she knew she wasn’t going to like whatever came out of his mouth next. 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“About?”

“Michael and Bucky.”

“No,” she said immediately.

“You haven’t said a word about it since you chewed Bucky out in your office.”

“Serves him right. I still can’t get a handle on what backlash we’ll most likely face from that. Michael was already angry because he felt as though he was being sidelined, and now he’s just upright avoiding me. It suffices to say it was one of my less pleasant conversations with Director Phillips.”

“You’re good at that,” he said in reply

She raised her eyebrow, though she knew he couldn’t see it.

“I’m good at many things, Steve, you’ll have to be more specific.”

“Talking about something without really talking about it.”

Peggy sighed. Though she had had weeks to mull over the possibility of Michael being a spy, with each bit of evidence she had been unearthing she had inadvertently distanced herself from it, not wanting to believe that the person who had once been her closest friend could have turned against what he had once fought for.

“Just… allow me some more time to process this? I promise we will talk about it but I need time.”

“Okay,” he conceded. 

Peggy turned her head to kiss him gently, and she felt him practically melt against her.

“I have to go,” she murmured when they pulled away.

“I know,” he said wistfully before leaning down to kiss her again.

“I could go with you,” he offered, murmuring the words against her lips.

Peggy pulled away and raised her eyebrow at him.

“It’s five blocks away, I can handle it,” she told him pointedly.

“I know you can,” he said sheepishly.

“Now,” she began as she pulled away from him completely and grabbed her coat and scarf. “I’ll be in meetings all day once I get into work, so I most likely won’t see you until tonight.”

“How will I ever survive?” he asked her teasingly.

“You’ll just have to entertain yourself, darling,” she teased back.

He grabbed the ends of her scarf and gently tugged her toward him. She went willingly, and he pressed his lips against her forehead.

“I love you,” he murmured.

“I love you more.”

“Impossible.”

“You’re lucky I don’t have time to prove you wrong,” she told him, pulling away again to grab her purse.

“I’d say I’m just plain lucky.”

Peggy rolled her eyes fondly and kissed his cheek.

“I’ll see you tonight, my darling.”

Peggy walked out the door and headed toward the doctor’s office, deciding to use the time to try and dissect Michael’s behaviour and Jack’s information of the last two weeks in hopes of making sense of Michael’s loyalties. Even though she wasn’t physically in the office, it didn’t mean that she couldn’t still be working.

She was so caught up in her thoughts that it took her longer than normal to notice something strange.

The woman in a dark blue coat that she had passed almost the moment she left her building was keeping steady pace behind her. Though it could be nothing, there was something about her presence that unsettled Peggy.

She changed course, making unnecessary and roundabout turns. After a few blocks of this, her suspicions were confirmed.

She was being followed.

Peggy casually picked up her pace and began to weave in-between the crowd more, hoping to keep the woman off her trail. When this failed, she couldn’t help but feel a small sense of panic begin to rise in her gut.

Abandoning all pretences, she began running. Her assailant began sprinting after her, and Peggy knew if she wanted to confront this person, she would have to get her away from the crowd of the Brooklyn streets immediately to avoid any collateral damage.

She quickly ducked into an upcoming alley and used the few seconds head start she had to draw her gun. Turning sharply, she aimed it toward the person who had just followed her into the alley.

Dottie Underwood.

Peggy’s gut twisted as she took in the woman in front of her for the first time in nearly three years.

Dottie’s mouth turned upward into a sly smile.

“Oh Peggy, is that any way to greet an old friend?”

“Is that what we are, Dottie?” she scoffed, narrowing her eyes.

“How rude. You’ll need to learn some respect.”

Before Peggy could retort, she felt the barrel of a gun being pressed to the back of her head. 

“Now, drop the gun or I’ll have my associate use theirs,” Dottie told her.

Peggy scowled, but slowly lowered her gun to the ground.

“That’s much better. Now Peggy, I think it’s time we had a little chat. We have _so much_ to catch up on.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who's holding the gun? Stay tuned to find out ;)
> 
> Many thanks to my dear friend and beta: Darcy


	24. Smoke and Mirrors

**February 23rd, 1950 - SHIELD NY Headquarters** ****

Steve hummed quietly as he unlocked the door to the apartment. True to her word, he hadn’t seen Peggy around the building all day. However he had managed to sneak out early in hopes of having dinner ready by the time she got home. They had yet to properly celebrate their first Valentine’s day together, and Steve wanted to treat Peggy to a candlelit dinner.

The first thing he noticed upon opening the door was that the light was on. He immediately stiffened, quietly closing the door behind him. He heard noise coming from their bedroom and slowly crept toward it, reaching for his gun in the process. Pushing the slightly open door further ajar, he saw Peggy’s figure hunched over her vanity as she rummaged through her jewellery box. Steve immediately relaxed and smiled softly.

“You’re home early,” he said, putting away his gun.

Peggy startled and turned around sharply, slamming her jewellery box shut in the process. After a moment she realized it was only him, and she relaxed slightly.

“Yes. I am,” she said, clearing her throat. “Hello, darling.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” he said.

“No trouble, I just meant to surprise you is all,” she told him.

Steve noticed for the first time that she was wearing a dark green dress instead of the black work pants and white button up shirt that she had worn out of the apartment this morning. Her hair was styled slightly differently and she was holding a pair of earrings in her right hand that she normally only wore on special occasions.

“And here I was hoping to surprise you,” he said with a dreamy smile.

She gave him a smile that he noticed didn’t quite reach her eyes. Steve’s smile fell and he stepped toward her, wrapping this arms around her. His frown deepened when she stiffened ever so slightly before relaxing again.

“Is everything okay?”

“Yes, yes. Just had a very difficult day is all.”

“Did everything go okay with the doctor?”

“What - oh yes. Yes everything is all good there,” she said quickly.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No need.”

“Are you sure? You seem a little jumpy.”

“I don’t mean to be,” she apologized, tilting her head up to kiss his jaw softly. “I promise everything is fine. Better, actually, now that you're here.”

He raised his eyebrow at her.

“And you say I’m the sap.”

“And I am always correct,” she teased, kissing him softly.

Steve reciprocated slowly, though he couldn’t quite shake the nagging feeling that something was wrong. Before he could get too deep into his thoughts, the phone rang, causing them both to jump.

“I’ll get that,” he offered.

“If you must,” she teased with a smile.

He pecked her lips and stepped away to the living room. Giving one last glance to their bedroom, he picked up the phone.

“This is Carter.”

“Hi, this is Susan calling from Doctor Larson’s office. Is Margaret Carter there?”

“Yes she - I’m sorry did you say Doctor Larson’s office?”

“Yes. May I ask who I’m speaking with?”

“Grant Carter. I’m her husband.”

“Oh that works just as well, Mr. Carter. Did you want to reschedule your wife’s appointment on her behalf?”

The slight pit that Steve had been feeling deep in his chest since Peggy had stiffened in his arms began to grow heavier.

“What do you mean reschedule?” Steve asked slowly.

“Your wife missed her appointment today. I would have called sooner but we’ve had a really hectic day here. Would you like to reschedule the appointment on her behalf?”

“Um, no,” Steve said, looking toward the bedroom and lowering his voice. “No thank you, I’ll let her handle that.”

“Just be sure to have her call us back soon. It’s imperative that she keep up with her appointments.”

“Yes. Yes of course. Thank you, Susan.”

He didn’t give her a chance to say goodbye before he hung up the phone.

“Who was that on the phone?” 

He looked over at where Peggy had just appeared in the doorway, now wearing the earrings she had been holding. He opened his mouth to ask her why she hadn’t gone to her doctor’s appointment, and if it had anything to do with why she had been so tense when he had greeted her.

But then he saw how her eyes were slightly guarded, and his heart constricted. If he asked her about it this second, she would finish shutting down. He knew Peggy well enough by now to know that she had a difficult time making herself vulnerable - even to him. Whatever caused her to miss her appointment had clearly shaken her, and she needed time to process it before she would share it with him.

He tried to ignore the fact that his gut was telling him that even if she did chose to open up, whatever she told him wouldn’t be completely trustworthy.

“Wrong number,” he said instead.

“Alright,” she said, relaxing slightly. “What would you like for dinner?”

“Whatever you want is fine,” he answered.

“Oh I was hoping you’d say that. I have a terrible craving for seafood.”

“Seafood?”

If she picked up on his incredulous tone, she decided to ignore it.

“For a few hours now, it’s been driving me mad.”

Steve was quick to mask how unnerved it made him that she had changed her opinion on seafood so quickly. He had gotten a handle on how quickly her cravings could change, but the culmination of this with the events of the last few minutes had his head reeling. 

“Darling?” she prompted and Steve realized that he had been stuck in his own thoughts for too long.

“Sorry. Seafood is great,” he lied.

She flashed him a bright smile that left Steve feeling no less troubled.

 

* * *

 

**March 2nd, 1950 - Conference Room, SHIELD NY Headquarters**

“Hey, Earth to Steve. Stevie? Anyone in there?”

Steve snapped his head to look back at Bucky.

“Sorry, what you were saying?”

“I was saying that Anderson and Ramirez just checked in this morning. They have their men in place, and with the evidence they’ve gathered we’ve got more fish on our hooks than previously anticipated. But apparently that’s not as important as whatever daydream is going on in your head.”

Steve sighed and ran his hand over his face.

“Sorry,” he muttered.

“That’s the third time you’ve spaced out. What’s going on?” Bucky asked.

“I’m sure it’s nothing.”

“Yeah you’re right, you always lose your head over nothing, my bad,” his friend teased.

“Jerk,” Steve said, rolling his eyes.

“Come on, you know you can talk to me, pal,” Bucky continued his light ribbing. “Is it trouble in paradise?”

Steve stared stonily at Bucky. After a few moments Bucky’s lighthearted demeanour melted away. 

“What’s wrong?” Bucky asked seriously. “Is Peggy okay?”

“No - I mean, yes. No. I don’t know,” Steve let out a frustrated sigh, “She’s been different.”

“Different how?”

“This past week she’s been… She goes from overly affectionate to standoffish in the blink of an eye. Her routine is sporadic and unpredictable, even for her. She’s cleaned our entire apartment - _twice_ \- and she missed her doctor’s appointment and lied to me about it.

I’ve tried asking her if she’s okay, and I’ve tried giving her space but no matter what I do, she either doesn’t speak or she speaks but doesn’t actually give me the answers I want. Bucky, I think something bad happened to her and she’s trying to shield me from it. The last time she acted this weird she ended up locked up in a cell in Italy for a week.”

Steve hadn’t realized just how much he had been holding in until he had let it all out in front of Bucky. Though unfortunately it didn’t help him feel any less confused as to what was happening. 

After Peggy’s stint in Italy, they had both come to an agreement that no matter how difficult the truth, they would always be honest with each other. He thought that he had made Peggy understand that she could trust him.

Where between then and now had he lost her?

“Hey, we won’t let that happen,” Bucky told him. “I’ll help you figure out what’s going on.”

“How are you going to do that? No offense, but if she’s not talking to me, do you really think she’d talk to you?”

“Come on, Stevie, you know I’ve always been the one who’s better at espionage. Something your girl and I got in common. Just let me work my magic and we’ll figure out what happened.”

Steve snorted.

“Whatever you say, Buck.”

“Besides, maybe we can kill two birds with one stone.”

“What do you mean?” Steve asked.

“We both need the truth from two Carters, don’t we?”

 

* * *

 

**March 3rd, 1950 - SHIELD Safe House**

“Michael,” Steve said upon seeing his target in the hallway.

Michael looked at him for half a second before giving him a hard look and turning around.

“Hey, Michael, wait,” he called out, chasing after him.

He stopped and turned sharply.

“What do you want, Grant?”

As much as he didn’t trust Michael, Steve did appreciate that Michael was still keeping his cover while in public.

“I need to talk to you. It’s important.”

Michael narrowed his eyes at Steve and stepped toward him.

“What could you possibly have to say when you think I’m a rat, just like Barnes does.”

“I don’t,” Steve lied.

Michael raised his eyebrow at him.

“You can’t expect me to believe that.”

“I know that Bucky thinks you’re up to something. But I know you wouldn’t dare.”

Michael seemed to consider him for a moment.

“And how are you so sure?” Michael asked him.

“Because of the one thing we have in common.”

“Peggy,” Michael said.

“Peggy,” Steve repeated. “And right now she needs our help.”

Michael’s eyes immediately filled with concern, and Steve was almost tempted to believe that this man could never be capable of what Bucky was accusing him of.

“Is she alright?”

Steve shook his head.

“Something’s happened to her but whatever it is, she’s hiding it from me.”

“What evidence do you have that she’s hiding something from you?”

“It’s hard to explain,” Steve said carefully.

“So you don’t have any evidence.”

Steve clenched his fists.

“The last time she acted like this, she went after you in Italy without telling anyone and got imprisoned for a week,” he said icily.

“Point taken,” Michael conceded begrudgingly.

“I thought if I gave her time she would open up but it’s been a week and she’s more closed off than ever. If I ask her if she’s okay and she lies, but if I give her space then she doesn’t reach out to me. I don’t know what else I can do.”

“What do you need from me?” Michael said finally.

“Just get her to talk to you - to tell you the honest truth, because she sure as hell isn’t talking to me.”

“Me?” Michael scoffed. “I haven’t spoken to her in days. I highly doubt she wants to speak to me given everything that’s happened.”

“I don’t care,” Steve snapped before taking a deep breath. “Michael, as much as I hate to admit it, you two have a bond that we don’t. No matter what, you’re still her brother and she will trust you until you give her reason not to. And right now she needs your help. I wouldn’t be asking you if I wasn’t really worried for her.” 

Michael hesitated for a moment before nodding slowly.

“Alright. For Peg.”

“Thank you.”

Michael nodded and went to leave. Before he could get past him, Steve grabbed his bicep, forcefully stopping him. He leaned in close, speaking in a low voice.

“I told you I don’t think that you’re up to anything, but you better believe that if you step one toe out of line, I won’t hesitate to take you down.”

“Funny, I didn’t think violent threats were quite your style, _Captain_ ,” Michael all but hissed.

“Not normally, but this particular matter happens to concern my _wife_ , and you have no idea the lengths I’d go to for her. So I suggest you tread very carefully.”

With that, Steve let go of Michael’s arm and watched as he went off in search of Peggy. When he was out of sight, Steve went off toward the safe house to find Bucky.

 

* * *

 

**SHIELD NY Headquarters**

It took him a few hours longer than he originally hoped, but when Michael finally found Peggy, she was walking toward her office. She stiffened slightly when she realized that it was Michael who had stepped into stride beside her.

“Michael,” she said, trying to hide her surprise. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”

“I’ve been mulling over my reaction to our conversation the other day.”

“Have you now?” she asked, and he could hear the scepticism in her voice.

“Yes, and I finally realized that I acted like a complete arse.”

Peggy rolled her eyes and walked into her office, Michael trailing in behind her.

“You’re not wrong there,” she replied as he closed the door. “I would go as far to say-”

“That’s enough, I just wanted to be certain that no one could overhear us.”

“What are you talking about?” she asked, raising her eyebrow at him.

“They’re onto you,” he hissed at her.

Peggy froze.

“Who?”

“Who do you think? Your _eternally devoted husband_. Which also means his ever-present sidekick probably isn’t far behind.”

Peggy swore and shook her head.

“I’ve been careful-”

“Well that’s turned out well now hasn’t it?” he interrupted.

“Do you know how hard it is considering I’m living with him?" she snapped. "Every bloody day he either asks how I am or he keeps his distance, and no matter what I do, if I act one way it’s wrong, but if I act another way it also upsets him. I can’t win for the life of me.” 

“I understand how difficult this has been but you know what’s at stake,” he told her.

“Of course I bloody well know,” she snapped at him before composing herself. “But despite this slight setback, I’ll be able to finish the operation.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Michael asked, giving her a confused look.

“The operation, Michael, what else? I swear spending so much time cooped up in this building has done such damage to your head.”

“The operation,” he said plainly, his mind reeling as he tried to figure out what she could possibly mean.

“It was well hidden, but I finally found it,” she said, pulling out a silver rose pin from her purse and holding it up.

It took Michael another moment until it all clicked into place. His eyes widened in horror, but Peggy was still captivated by the rose pin.

“Now,” she continued. “If Steve suspects me, then that means we need to act now before he inserts himself and ruins everything. There are still many people around right now but it won’t be impossible. I’ll just have to rely on you to keep any of our wild cards out of play should it come to that.”

“Of course,” Michael agreed.

As if sensing his hesitation, Peggy frowned and stepped closer to him.

“You know what they’ll do if I don’t comply,” she told him.

“Yeah,” he said quietly. “I do.”

“Then that’s that.” 

Michael stared at the small silver rose and watched as she carefully pinned it to the inside of her left sleeve. They shared one last glance and he walked out of her office, storming toward the main floor.

He needed to find Steve.

 

* * *

 

**SHIELD Safe House**

In Bucky’s room, Steve and Bucky stared at the listening device that Howard had set up for them, both of them practically seething with anger. After spending two minutes in silence, listening to the bustle of SHIELD agents as Michael walked through the hallways of the building, Steve angrily turned it off, nearly breaking it in the process.

“Peggy never made it to the doctor’s that day,” he said finally.

Bucky’s head snapped up to look at Steve, having been shaken from his thoughts.

“What?”

“The doctor’s appointment I told you about. That was the night she started acting strangely. They must have found her on her way there and threatened her to do whatever they need her for.”

“And Michael knew this whole damn time,” Bucky growled.

Steve swore, and feeling as though he was practically seeing red.

“What operation did she mean?” Bucky asked.

“I have no idea, but whatever it is, she’s planning on doing it today. I have to get to her first.”

Bucky followed his lead and grabbed his arm, halting him in his tracks.

“Steve, you know Peggy wouldn’t break for just anything. Whatever they’re using against her, it’s gotta be big.”

“I know,” he said, feeling the pit in his stomach grow.“I’ll find Peggy. Now that I know what’s going on I can talk sense into her.”

“Thought you did that the last time she kept a big Leviathan related secret from you,” Bucky said pointedly.

Steve glared at him.

“Don’t,” he said warningly.

“Sorry,” Bucky apologized. “Look you deal with Peggy, I’ll go get Steph and make sure she’s safe.”

Steve frowned.

“But what if she’s programmed to trigger the Winter Soldier as part of their operation? You and Howard and the therapist still aren’t done with your association therapy.”

“And what if she’s programmed to do something else that causes her to get hurt? She needs me, Steve.”

Though they hadn’t talked about it, Steve knew that Bucky and Mel were on better terms these days, and he knew damn well that Mel and Steph were a package deal. 

Seeing the look of pure concern and care that his best friend had in his eyes, Steve understood exactly how he was feeling.

“Yeah, okay. While you’re down there, get Mel to call Howard and tell him to get here _now_.”

“You got it.”

Bucky nodded and walked quickly toward Mel and Steph’s room. 

Steve walked toward Peggy’s office, hoping to still catch her there. He was so focused that he nearly ran right into Michael.

“Oh thank God,” Michael began. “I was looking for-”

Steve grabbed his bicep roughly.

“You,” he growled.

“Me - what the bloody hell are you doing?” Michael hissed as Steve dragged him toward the interrogation rooms.

“I told you what would happen if you betrayed us,” he said, shoving him into one and forcing him onto the chair.

“I did no such thing” he exclaimed as Steve cuffed him to the table.

“We trusted you - _Peggy_ trusted you.”

“I don’t have time for this nonsense. Look, you were right, Peggy’s in danger-”

“No thanks to you,” Steve spat.

“I’ve been helping her, you idiot, if you would just _listen_. Peggy is-”

The door opened, revealing Jack.

“There you are, we got a problem-” he cut himself off when he noticed Michael cuffed to the table. “What the hell is going on here?”

“We’ve got a lot of problems, it seems,” Steve said through gritted teeth. “What is it now?”

“It’s your wife,” Jack said.

“Peggy?” both Michael and Steve said in unison.

“Carter - _Grant_ -“ he amended when both of them perked their heads up slightly. “Come with me. Other Carter you can stay put right where the hell you are.”

Michael rattled the handcuffs pointedly.

“Are you really giving me a choice in the matter?” he scoffed.

“Not a chance in hell,” Steve spat.

“You’re going to regret not listening to me,” Michael called out as Steve followed Jack out of the room.

Jack led him toward the medical wing that was attached to the building. He stopped right outside of one of the rooms.

“What happened?” Steve asked.

“I found her in the vault where Stark keeps his inventions. We were in the middle of talking about the latest update from the team but then she just collapsed.”

“ _What?_ ”

“Hey, calm down. She woke up almost right away and I took her here to get checked out.”

“And she let you?” Steve asked incredulously.

“No,” Jack laughed. “She threatened me ten ways to Sunday if I tried to force her, but then Mel walked by and we came to a compromise. While Mel ran the tests to make sure she’s okay, I came to grab you.”

“Thanks, Jack,” he said honestly before walking into the room.

Peggy was alone, sitting on the patient bed, her eyes scanning the room. Steve rushed to her and kissed her gently, letting the door close behind him.

She offered him a smile when he pulled away.

“If I had known all it took was a small fainting spell to get your attention, I would have done it days ago,” she teased softly.

“That’s not funny,” he said quietly.

“Can you really blame me? This past week you’ve been either overly attentive - though not physically so - or you’ve kept me at arms length.”

“The last time you acted like this I almost lost you. You promised you were going to be completely honest with me from now on but you’ve been different this week. I tried to give you time to work through it but it’s clear that you still don’t trust me.”

Peggy frowned and looked away from him.

“Alright, I have been keeping something from you,” she finally admitted quietly.

Steve reached out and took her hand.

“What is it?” he asked her, his voice soft.

“About a week ago, I was…” she paused, thinking about her words carefully.

Steve squeezed her hand gently, running his thumb over her knuckles, trying to convey his support to her. She gave him a small, appreciative smile.

“I was stopped on the street. By Leviathan. I tried to outrun them but I was unfortunately bested. The short of it is they told me I had to do exactly as they said or…”

“Or?” he prompted gently.

“They threatened you, us, any chance we have at a family and life together. Steve, they know who you are.”

“What?”

“They know that Grant Carter is actually Captain America. I couldn’t put you at risk - and don’t you dare say that it doesn’t matter because you’re a bloody super soldier because it does. Now that they know you’re alive they’ll do anything to get to you, to get your blood.”

“Peggy, what did they tell you that would make you think they actually have a chance of getting to me?”

“And I was going to find a way around what they asked of me-”

“How Peggy?” he snapped, tired of her only half-answering his questions.

“ _I don’t know_ , I was in the middle of figuring something out-”

“By yourself?”

“Yes,” she said firmly.

Steve huffed in frustration.

“When are you going to get it through your head that I am with you no matter what? There is nothing too terrible that we can’t get through together. But you have to trust me that I can handle anything HYDRA or Leviathan have to throw at us.”

Peggy looked up to meet his eyes for the first time since she began her confession. He could still see the guard she held up in her eyes and he knew she was still hiding something from him. He grabbed her free hand and squeezed both of hers tightly. Leaning in, he nuzzled his nose against hers.

“Please,” he pleaded with a whisper. “Let me in.”

The door burst open, revealing Mel, who came in holding a file, Bucky and Steph trailing in behind her. Steve moved apart from Peggy, whose attention was now focused on Mel.

“I got the results back, and there’s nothing weird or out of the ordinary. You are perfectly healthy, Director,” Mel said cheerfully.

Steve frowned. He gave a glance to Peggy’s stomach, and was filled with a deep sense of dread.

“Nothing out of the ordinary?” he repeated.

“Nope. My personal theory is that you’re not eating enough - hey!”

Mel exclaimed as Steve snatched the file from her. He quickly scanned his eyes over the pages, his heart hammering in his chest.

“Hey don’t shoot the messenger,” Bucky said on her behalf.

“Besides, isn’t this a good thing?” Mel attempted to reason. “I mean Peggy’s in tip top form. The tests I took match her last SHIELD-mandated physical from just over three months ago.”

Steve found the exact line he was looking and swore loudly, crumpling the file in his hands.

“What the hell is going on with you?” Peggy snapped. “Look I know I haven’t made this easy for you-”

“Who are you?” he asked her pointedly.

She looked at him as though she’d been slapped.

“What do mean?” she asked. “Darling, it’s me. I’m your wife-”

“You’re not Peggy,” he interrupted her harshly.

“Hey pal, I think you need to-” Bucky began.

“This file says everything is normal. Peggy - _my Peggy_ \- is pregnant,” he said hoarsely.

Everyone in the room froze. Bucky and Mel looked between him and brown haired woman in front of them, looking shell shocked. 

The false Peggy’s lips slowly curled up into a wicked smile.

“Well, Captain, I have to admit I’m disappointed it took you so long. Your wife was rooting for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Where's Peggy? Whose side is Michael on? Always happy to hear your thoughts and theories!
> 
> Just a heads up, real life is getting really crazy for me, so I won't have too much time in the upcoming weeks to write, but I'll do my best.
> 
> All my love to Darcy, my friend and beta.


	25. Heart of Stone - Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my loves. Thank you all for your patience with this chapter. The contract I was working on consumed way more of me than I originally thought it would, then I was out of town for a while. But I am back and so stoked to be giving you more of this story!
> 
> Important note: This chapter begins where we left off with Peggy at the end of Chapter 23, and there is some minor time jumping. Everything that we see with Peggy in this chapter is in the past, and everything with Steve/SHIELD is present day.

**February 23rd, 1950 - Brooklyn, NY** ****

Peggy walked arm in arm with Dottie down the streets of Brooklyn. She kept her face neutral and head held high despite the gun that was currently being discreetly pressed against her side. She had yet to catch a glimpse of the person who had held the gun against her head, as they didn’t lower it until Dottie was securely by her side, and had walked behind them the entire way.

Dottie led her into an awaiting car where a man waited in the driver’s seat. Dottie slid into the back seat beside her, and the third associate sat in the passenger’s seat. Peggy casually craned her neck to the side, but was still unable to see their face. Judging by the back of their head, she was at least able to discern that it was most likely a man with dirty blonde hair. 

They drove in silence for an hour. After another hour passed, Peggy mentally noted that they were headed toward New Jersey. It was just shy of the third hour of driving when Peggy finally turned to look at Dottie.

“What, no idle chatter, Dottie? I thought we had _so much_ to catch up on,” she mocked her.

Dottie gave her a sickeningly sweet smile.

“Awe, Peggy, you _did_ miss me.”

Peggy rolled her eyes.

“Don’t flatter yourself.”

“Oh, Peggy, when will you learn that it’s always easier if you play along?”

“I didn’t think you’d appreciate being lied to, Dottie, even if it did come from me.”

To her surprise, Dottie actually laughed.

“See, this is why I like you so much. Despite our complicated relationship, you actually understand me.”

Peggy scoffed.

“That’s not the word I would use.”

“Oh, just you wait. I think you’ll actually be impressed when I show you what we’ve done around here.”

“And where exactly is here?”

“You’ll see,” Dottie said in an almost sing-song voice.

“I’m surprised you’re keeping me conscious for this. I’ll know where your secret location is by the time we get there,” Peggy thought out loud.

“You’re as sharp as ever, Peggy,” Dottie say proudly. “We didn’t want to start today with any more tension than necessary. You’ll see why soon enough.”

“You keep saying we,” Peggy noted out loud.

Dottie simply smirked at her before looking out the window, and Peggy realized that the car arrived to their destination.

“Now Peggy,” Dottie began. “In the spirit of good faith, I’m not going to hold you at gun point anymore. I trust that by now you should know what’s good for you. But given our history I feel compelled to warn you that if you do try to pull something, you won’t make it ten steps out of the car. Alive, that is.”

Normally, Peggy wouldn’t pay too much heed to a warning like the one she was just given. She knew that her best chances at escape were before she was taken inside whatever building they had arrived at. However, she felt a slight wave of nausea rise in her as she got out of the car, and she was hit with a blunt reminder that she was no longer the sole victim of the consequences of her actions.

The thought both filled her with intense dread and fuelled her fire to find a safe way out as soon as possible. 

In the meantime, it couldn’t hurt to discover exactly what Leviathan and HYDRA were up to. 

Dottie gave her a pointed look and Peggy went against her instincts, falling into step beside her.

 

* * *

 

Peggy was led through a series of hallways, Dottie still at her side. Her ever mysterious accomplice still kept pace behind them. Peggy didn’t try to tempt Dottie into speaking, and instead focused on taking in every detail of where she was being taken. Though her memory was nowhere near as photographic as Steve’s, she knew that she had to do everything in her power to begin planning the perfect escape.

They stopped in front of a large metal door. When Dottie pressed her keycard against the scanner, the door opened to reveal what looked like a minor control room.

“I thought you’d be taking me to a cell,” Peggy commented out loud as she looked around the room from her place just outside the doorway.

“First things first, I’m not the only one with some catching up to do,” Dottie smirked, motioning for Peggy to follow her inside.

Peggy frowned. She stepped in the room to find that in the far corner, there was a small table set up with a teapot and tea cups ready.

Her throat began to fill with bile as she got a good sight of the figure who was already sitting at the table.

“I have been vaiting a long time for zis day,” the man greeted.

“Zola,” she greeted stiffly, forcing herself to swallow down the vomit that was threatening to surface.

“No need to be so cold now. Vhy don’t you take a seat, Deputy Director Carter?”

“And if I refuse?” Peggy asked.

Though she wasn’t planning on refusing, Peggy had no intention of showing him any willingness to cooperate. 

“I zhink you vill find vhat I have to say very intriguing. Now, vhy don’t you let Miss Undervood take your coat and purse, and you both can join me, yes? Ve have much to discuss if ve vant to catch you up to speed in a prompt manner.”

 

* * *

 

**March 3rd, 1950 - An Interrogation Room, SHIELD NY Headquarters**

“You can ask me as many times as you want, but I’m not going to tell you anything.”

Steve glared at the Peggy doppelgänger from his seat on the other end of the interrogation table. He hated how she still held her head high, even though she was handcuffed to the table and had been interrogated relentlessly for nearly two hours now.

The strength she held reminded him of his Peggy, and his heart clenched with grief at not knowing where she was, or if she was hurt.

_Or alive._

He immediately banished that thought from his head.

“The way you both speak is very alike,” she told him when he didn’t respond for a few moments. “It’s almost chilling.”

Steve frowned.

“What?”

“You and your wife. Both of you are filled with a foolish nobleness, believing that you can change the fact that humans are - at their core - exceedingly corrupt. In reality you’re both a pair of naive, _delusional_ -”

“Unless you’re about to tell me where Peggy is, don’t you dare breathe another damn word about her,” he threatened harshly.

“Or what? Torture isn’t your style, _Captain_ , everyone knows that.”

“You have no idea what I’m capable of,” he said in a low voice.

She leaned in closer, the corners of her lips curling up into a venomous smile.

“I’m itching to find out,” she whispered. “Why don’t you come over here and show me?”

Steve narrowed his eyes at her and stared her down. Though she showed no signs of conceding, he held his ground.

“Whoever, or _what_ ever you are, you’ll break eventually,” he told her.

“You sound so certain.”

“I am. Even if you don’t talk, Leviathan and HYDRA won’t take the chance. Even if you manage to escape, they won’t spare you. If you don’t help us, we have no reason to protect you. The choice is yours.”

Steve left the room without another word and walked straight into the adjacent room where Bucky, Jack and Mel were standing, watching Peggy’s doppelgänger closely in the two-way mirror. Steph was curled up asleep in the corner, both Mel and Bucky having refused to let her out of their sights.

“Well that went well.” Jack muttered.

“Don’t,” Steve warned darkly.

Jack put his hands up as a slight concession. 

“Look, let me give it a go,” he said.

“You?” Bucky asked with a raised eyebrow. 

“Believe it or not, I have just as much at stake here as the rest of you. Besides, this is personal; I’m the only one allowed to mess with Carter around here.”

Both Bucky and Mel rolled their eyes.

“Be my guest,” Steve said flatly.

Jack left and immediately entered the interrogation room where Peggy’s doppelgänger was. Steve watched intently as Jack began his interrogation.

After a few minutes of watching him fail to get any further than Steve did, Bucky stepped closer to him.

“How are you holding up?” Bucky murmured quietly.

“Just peachy,” he muttered in response.

Steve stuck his hand in his pocket and fiddled with Peggy’s rings that he had taken back from her doppelgänger when they had taken her to the interrogation room.

“Look, Wells’ body showed up only a few weeks ago, he’s been dead for only a little bit longer than that. They keep people alive for as long as they need them. Not only is Peggy the biggest asset they could have taken, she’s smarter than both of us combined. She knows her worth and she’s going to use it to her advantage until she finds a way out.”

“Have you gotten in contact with Phillips?” Steve asked instead of commenting on Bucky’s words.

Steve knew exactly what Peggy was capable of. She would find some way to twist her situation in her favour. His heart panged with slight hope at the thought that she was possibly on her way back to him now. 

“He’s flying in as we speak. Stark and Jarvis are already here. They’re using the samples we took of Peggy’s doppelgänger to figure out what exactly she - _it_ \- is. It might help us track the technology used to do this and find both Peggy and Zola.”

Steve nodded stiffly, keeping his eyes trained on Peggy’s doppelgänger, feeling the rage in his heart grow, but knew he needed to bide his time just long enough to gain more information. He burned HYDRA to the ground once. He’d be damned if he couldn’t do it again.

Especially with his family on the line.

“I know it’s not just Peggy you’re worried about,” Bucky continued in a lower voice when Steve didn’t respond.

“Of course it’s not just her,” Steve hissed, finally breaking his attention from the two-way mirror to look at Bucky. “It’s her _and_ our baby and I have no idea where they are or if they’re okay.”

“At least we know they don’t know she’s pregnant. They would have found some way to recreate that too, considering how close the rest of the DNA was.”

“And Peggy would do everything to keep it that way,” Steve conceded, though he couldn’t find any relief in the statement.

“We’ll get them back,” Bucky said.

“And we’ll burn Leviathan and HYDRA to the ground.”

“Damn right we will,” Bucky agreed.

A short while after they had stopped talking, Jack returned to the room.

“She’s almost as stubborn as the real Carter,” Jack said, only half-joking.

“Giving up already?” Bucky ribbed him.

“I’m giving her time to stew. We’ve drilled the options in her. She’ll come around.”

“We won’t get anything out of her,” Mel spoke up for the first time in hours, prompting every eye in the room to turn to her.

“No offense, but this is above your pay grade,” Jack told her.

“Then maybe you should give me raise,” she quipped.

“You don’t even work here anymore,” Jack reminded her.

“Because,” she continued, ignoring Jack. “In a room full of highly intelligent secret agents, none of you have realized that we’re barking up the wrong tree.”

“What do you mean?” Bucky asked.

“Somehow you’ve all forgotten that there are two Carters - real or otherwise - cuffed in interrogation rooms.” 

“Michael,” Steve finished her thought out loud.

 

* * *

 

**February 23rd, 1950 - HYDRA/Leviathan Facility**

“Tea for you, Deputy Director?” Zola asked Peggy as he poured her a cup.

“Only as long as it leads to you telling me exactly what you’re planning,” she replied, remaining stiff in her chair. 

Zola sat across from her, Dottie by her side. Her coat and purse had been removed from her person and handed off to their accomplice, who had opted not to sit with them and was instead standing behind Peggy’s chair. As terrible as the temptation was to find out his identity, she kept her eyes trained on Zola, unwilling to give up any amount of power that she still had.

“Getting right into it, I see,” he smirked. “It’s vhat I alvays loved about you, Director Carter. A voman who not only never vaivers, but is first in zhe fire.”

“While I appreciate the flattery, I hardly believe that was your intention in inviting me for subpar tea via gunpoint,” she noted.

Zola smirked, not bothering to glance at her still full cup.

“Has anyvone ever told you zhat you ruin all zee fun? But I suppose if ve must,” he said in an annoyed tone. “In short, Director Carter, zhis is vhere I defeat you. For good.”

Peggy leaned forward, raising her eyebrow challengingly at him.

“Do tell, Zola.”

“It all began vhen I vas asked to be a part of Operation Paperclip.”

“Yes, despite my best efforts, you and countless others were integrated into our government,” she said, allowing her bitterness to seep into her voice.

“I vouldn’t take it personally,” he told her. “Zhey didn’t listen to you because you are a voman. Zhough a formidable one, I must admit.”

In her peripheral vision, Peggy noticed Dottie stiffen slightly at Zola’s comment. 

“But I digress,” he continued. “Now zhat I had access to your precious organization, all I had to do vas bide my time.”

“So you gathered surviving members of HYDRA that were within the ranks of Operation Paperclip for your cause and together you infiltrated the SSR, and then SHIELD,” Peggy surmised the information that she already knew, hoping to pull something else out of him.

“And zhough each one proved to be an invaluable asset, ve vere still missing key people who could give us direct higher level access.”

“How unfortunate,” Peggy said condescendingly.

“Not to fear, Director,” Zola said. “It only meant zhat ve had to get creative.”

Peggy couldn’t help but stiffen at his smug tone. She remained silent until he continued.

“Just because ve could not influence certain individuals vithout revealing ourselves, it did not mean zhey couldn’t serve us in other vays. Zhis is vhere I ran into Miss Undervood, and she proved to be exactly zhe piece I needed.”

He looked toward Dottie and she straightened up, clearly taking pride in herself as she began speaking.

“We targeted the higher ups who were a bit more reserved. They didn’t have any family or close friends. After leaving an excuse about going away for some important trip, they wouldn’t be missed by anyone.”

“What did you do to them?” Peggy asked in a low voice.

Dottie smirked and leaned in.

“Made a perfect carbon copy of them. A clone.”

“Cloning?” Peggy scoffed incredulously. “You can’t be serious.”

“Oh come on Peggy, have a little faith,” Dottie told her. “We even got really good at it after the first few. Practice really does make perfect.”

“Now it only takes mere veeks to perfect one once ve have zheir body to provide sufficient DNA. Through further training, zhey are zhen taught how to act like zhat person to near perfection,” Zola continued.

“Then we have that person’s influence of their position to sow the seeds we need,” Dottie said.

“Zhe others fall from zhere. Vone by vone.”

Peggy began shaking her head slowly in disbelief. As part of their plan to dismantle HYDRA and Leviathan, they had planted Ramirez and Davis as double agents to gain more information about their enemies’ movements. She had gotten a report from both of them just a few days ago listing all the double agents within SHIELD that they had come across in the last few weeks.

How many of those had been clones?

“You don’t believe me?” Zola asked with a smirk.

Zola walked up to the control panel, and pushed a button. Slowly, the wall behind him began moving until it revealed a ten-foot tall door.

Peggy fought back a gasp, but couldn’t help but widen her eyes in shock as the door opened of its own accord, revealing a hidden room. The walls were lined with floor to ceiling length tubes that were made of mostly metal, save for a small window in each one.

Before she realized what she was doing, Peggy stood up and rushed closer. That’s when she realized the contents of each tube.

They were bodies. Approximately two dozen if she was counting correctly. 

She moved toward the closest one. She pressed her hand to the glass window, trying to make out the figure that was frozen within the tube.

Agent Swenson. 

He had been integral in liaising with the government during the transition from the SSR into SHIELD. Upon hearing from Ramirez and Davis that he was a double agent, she had met with him just two nights ago so that she could plant a bug in his office.

But it hadn’t really been him.

Slowly, she went down the line, pausing at each tube to identify who was trapped within it. With each passing tube, she had to work harder to contain the vomit that was threatening to climb up her throat.

“Everything alright, Peggy?” Dottie asked after she had reached the last one, her voice filled with fake concern.

“This ends here,” Peggy said in a low, hardly controlled voice.

“Oh Peggy, it’s going to be hard for you to stop us after you join them,” Dottie said condescendingly.

“Join them?” Peggy asked acidly, not looking away from the current tube she was standing in front of.

“Of course. Ve have been saving zhe best for last. You are our final piece to complete it all. Vith you, ve vill have full control of SHIELD, and no vone vill be able to stop us. Ve vill be able to come out of zhe shadows at last.”

“I’d rather die than be forced to help you,” she spat.

“It’s not as bad as you think, love.”

The new, yet familiar voice that had joined Zola and Dottie’s forced Peggy to whip around to face its owner. Her breath caught in her throat. If she hadn’t been able to lean against the tube beside her, she might have collapsed at the sight before her.

“Fred?” she whispered, shaking her head slowly.

“What’s wrong, Peg? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” he said with an arrogant smirk.

He shifted slightly and under the light, she could see that there was something slightly off with his eyes. Upon staring closer, they seemed… empty. As though they were devoid of any major emotion.

“You’re not really him,” she said in a dark voice, finding that she was working harder than ever at swallowing down her own bile.

“Disappointed?” he asked smugly.

“On the contrary, now that I’ve confirmed you’re not actually Fred, it absolves me of any guilt I’d have of tearing you to shreds,” she snarled, charging at him.

Dottie was on her in an instant, grabbing her bicep to the point where her fingernails were digging into her skin. Peggy let out a sound similar to a growl as Dottie yanked her back. 

“Has she always been this feisty?” Fred’s clone smirked, causing Peggy to cringe inwardly as she attempted to wrestle herself from Dottie’s grip.

“More than you know,” Dottie answered in a teasing tone.

Peggy took a deep breath and forced herself to calm down.

“I must admit, Dottie, this is a scale above your normal scheming.”

“You hurt me, Peggy,” Dottie scowled.

Peggy rolled her eyes and turned her head to look at Zola. 

“However, I feel obligated to mention that there is one gaping hole in your plan.”

“Is that so, Director?” he asked.

“You said yourself that it took you weeks to prepare each and every one of your clones once you had the subjects in your possession. You can keep me here all you like to complete that process with me, but sooner rather than later, there are a horde of people who will notice that I’m missing, not the least of which includes my husband, and he is going to burn down every damn building in New York until he finds me.”

Dottie’s mouth formed a large, unsettling smirk.

“Really, Peggy? We’ve had complete surveillance on you, and you think we wouldn’t take your sweetie pie into account? He’s the reason we had to alter our plan so drastically - more than once. But I wouldn’t worry about him. He’s being taken care of.” 

Peggy’s heart jumped into her throat and she struggled against Dottie’s grip.

“What have you done to him?” she asked in a low voice.

“It’s not what we’ve done, it’s what _you’re_ going to do.”

“What-”

“You can come out now, dear,” Dottie called out.

Peggy heard the familiar sound of clicking heels and turned to look toward the doorway. Her nausea came back full force when she saw what now stood before her.

Herself.

She watched in horror as her clone smiled sweetly. She wore a dark green dress, and her hair wasn’t styled quite the same as she currently had it, but every other detail was perfectly accurate. It was like she was looking in a twisted mirror, having an evil version of herself copied nearly perfectly before her eyes.

Without warning, the vomit that she had been swallowing down all morning came up full force. She leaned over, just barely missing both her and Dottie’s shoes.

Dottie let out a sound of disgust and took a step back while keeping Peggy’s arm locked in a death grip.

“It took longer zhan expected, but ve finally managed to perfect her,” Zola said, hardly paying attention to Peggy attempting to recover.

“And now the final piece of our puzzle is ready to fully take control of your precious SHIELD,” Fred’s clone continued.

“And zhen, zhe vorld.”

Peggy shook her head slowly as she refocused on her clone.

“You’re right bastards. The lot of you,” she said in a low voice. 

“No need to be so upset, darling,” Peggy’s clone spoke for the first time. 

She mimicked Peggy’s voice and accent perfectly, filling Peggy’s veins with ice as she continued. 

“I’ll keep our Steve entertained during your stay here.”

Peggy was so focused on keeping herself from vomiting again that she almost missed what the fake Peggy had called her husband.

“Steve?” Peggy echoed in a hollow voice.

“I vas surprised as vell,” Zola said. “Zhe great Captain America alive and vell.”

“Not only alive and well, but married to his wartime love. How sickeningly sweet,” Dottie sneered.

“You haven’t been careful in hiding him, Peg,” Fred’s clone told her.

“And now thanks to you, not only will we get full control of SHIELD, we’ll get everything we need for creating more Winter Soldiers,” Dottie continued. “You’ve only helped speed up our takeover.”

“No,” she said fiercely. “This won’t work. Steve will know it’s not me.”

“I have been vorking on her for _years_ ,” Zola hissed. “Every detail perfected to zhe last atom. You’ve been a major thorn in our sides for years, but thankfully zhat’s allowed us to gather enough DNA to recreate you vithout needing you here. She is zhe perfect double.

And not only is she a perfect carbon copy, I have trained her to valk like you, speak like you. Her brain has been filled vith every ounce of information ve have about you. She _is_ you.”

“ _No_ ,” Peggy spat at him. “There is not a bloody chance in hell that that second rate _impostor_ could ever fool anyone, let alone Steve.” 

“Careful, Peggy, green really isn’t your colour,” Dottie told her before looking over at her clone.

Dottie’s lips curled up into a satisfied smirk as her eyes roamed over the dark green dress her double was wearing.

“Or maybe it is,” Dottie smirked.

“Now if you’ll excuse me,” Peggy’s clone spoke. “I should get going so that I can surprise my beloved husband before he gets home. I’m afraid I’ve been so busy with work lately I’ve left him feeling quite neglected. It’s time to rectify that.”

Peggy saw red, and before she could stop herself, she was twisting around and punching Dottie square in the nose. Though it wasn’t her best, the surprise of it was enough to slacken Dottie’s grip just enough for Peggy to yank herself out of it and charge toward her clone. 

However, this time it was Fred’s clone that grabbed her by her midsection. Peggy managed to send him reeling back by slamming her elbow back into his jaw, but she was stopped from gaining any further ground by Dottie, who had resumed her grip on her bicep. She slammed her heel down on Dottie’s foot, who hissed and grabbed a fistful of Peggy’s hair and yanked it back forcefully. Fred’s clone grabbed her other arm, rendering Peggy nearly immobile. They held her back as her clone walked up to her and extracted the rings from her left hand.

“Ah ah ah,” Dottie tutted as Peggy continued to struggle against them. “We’re not done with you yet. You still have a very important part to play.”

 

* * *

 

**March 3rd, 1950 - Another Interrogation Room, SHIELD NY Headquarters**

“Finally you’re back-” Michael said as Steve and Bucky entered the room.

“Cut the crap and tell us where Peggy is,” Steve cut him off.

Michael stiffened.

“I wish I knew.”

“Bullshit-”

“Leviathan and HYDRA have a larger reach than any of you care to admit to. I have no idea how long she’s been gone but if it’s been more than a few hours then they could have taken her anywhere in the world by now.”

His words silenced Steve.

It hadn’t just been hours, it had been _days_. He cursed himself for not realizing it sooner.

“How long have you known that it wasn’t Peggy?” Steve asked eventually.

“When I went to go speak with her today - at your insistence. I swear I had no idea until then.”

“But you’ve been working with Leviathan. You knew that they were planning this.”

“Part of it, yes, but not what they were planning to do with Peggy,” Michael said fervently.

“Start at the beginning,” Steve ordered him.

Michael took a deep breath and sighed.

 

**January 14th, 1950 - A Balcony, One of Howard Stark’s Manhattan Estates**

_“There you are, I’ve been looking all over for you,” Michael said upon finding his sister._

_Peggy didn’t turn to look at him. She was looking out in the distance at something indiscernible. Though the winter air was frigid, and the temperature slowly dropping as the night went on, she wasn’t wearing a coat over her wedding dress. However, this didn’t seem to phase her in the least._

_“Do you remember when we were children and we would play in the garden?” she asked him eventually._

_“Yes, of course,” Michael said, walking up to her._

_“Our mother would come out and yell at me for acting so unladylike - for ruining my clothes, for disobeying her. But I couldn’t give a damn about what she said. Because all I wanted, more than anything, was to become the knights we pretended to be. To be the person who slayed dragons and saved those in need.”_

_Michael frowned, unsure of where this sudden nostalgia was coming from._

_“Never once in my life did I imagine one of the dragons I would have to slay would be my own brother.”_

_A heavy pit formed in Michael’s stomach as Peggy finally turned to meet his gaze._

_“How long have you’ve known?” he asked quietly._

_“I’ve suspected you for a while now,” she said honestly._

_“Peggy-”_

_“How could you?” she hissed._

_“It’s not what you think,” he said immediately._

_“Then you better start explaining before I shoot you,” she threatened. “Now.”_

_“Even though you kept me from joining you when you went after Barnes in Alaska, one of Leviathan and HYDRA’s spies in SHIELD found me,” he began._

_“And you didn’t tell me?” she all but exclaimed._

_“I know, I should have, but please just listen,” he pleaded._

_“Then get to the point quicker,” Peggy told him._

_“I’ll spare you the details but essentially, they gave me one chance to rectify my leaving by spying for them. That’s when I realized that I could use this to gather information on them while misdirecting them away from our plans.”_

_“Why should I believe you?” she asked harshly._

_“I know that you have no reason to at this moment,” he conceded. “But Peggy you have to understand that I had all but given up any hope when you invaded that Leviathan base. I had allowed myself to become resigned to the fact that there wasn’t anything I could do to change my fate. But you changed all that, reminded me what it was that I had always fought for. So when they came to me again I knew that I didn’t have to just fold in.”_

_“But why didn’t you come to me?” she fumed. “I have been working tirelessly to make sure you and Bucky are safe, and to take down HYDRA and Leviathan. The least you could have done was given me a heads up.”_

_“But that’s just it, Peg. I wanted to come to you when I had something tangible-”_

_“You mean other than the name of the double agent in our midst who threatened you?” she snapped._

_“It was no one who was crucial to our operation,” he explained. “And they’re watching me. They would have known if I had come running to you immediately. As much as Stark says otherwise, there’s no safe room in either of those buildings.”_

_She remained stiff, and Michael wished to God that she could believe him, that she could trust his words. He took a tentative step toward her._

_“Peg, you have to believe me when I say I have not, nor would I ever give them any information that would harm you, Rogers, or SHIELD. I know I should have come to you, but at the time I thought it’d be best if I played this game alone to see how much I could gather. I’m sorry.”_

_She gave him a hard look, as though weighing her options. After a few moments she nodded sharply._

_“Alright… I won’t tell anyone about this, not even Steve. Especially not tonight. But first thing on Monday we are going to sit down and find a way that we can use this to our advantage. And from now on you are telling me every detail.”_

_“Of course,” he agreed readily._

_“Congratulations Michael, you are officially a triple agent,” she said before beginning to walk back inside._

_She had reached the doorway when she stopped and turned back to look at him._

_“You are on bloody thin ice with me,” she told him. “And I can promise you that if you do anything to betray us, you’ll regret it much sooner than I will.”_

_He swallowed thickly._

_“I understand.”_

_He wanted to say something else - anything else - to make things better, but Peggy walked back inside before he could even think of something remotely appropriate._

 

**Present Day**

“I know that she still had her reservations about me but she knew that I was playing the other side for our advantage - both before and after she found out. And from then on she knew everything that I knew,” Michael said.

“Except for Wells,” Jack said.

“I myself didn’t know about him,” Michael defended.

“Bullshit,” Steve snapped.

“Yes well I also thought they had Peg in their grasp for years, didn’t I?” Michael snapped. “They only told me what they needed me to know to keep me in line. You don’t think it possible they kept other things from me?”

“Then why didn’t she say anything?” Steve asked. “Why did she pretend to go along with thinking you had betrayed us when you were both working together on this?”

“We both decided to keep it to ourselves. She used scraps of information we gathered to inform a few decisions she’s made in the last few weeks, but we couldn’t risk losing this advantage by telling the lot of you.”

“Even me?” Steve asked harshly.

“Yes, even you, Captain,” Michael shot back. “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one.”

“What about Steph’s pin?” Bucky asked, and though he wanted to continue to drill Michael, Steve was grateful for the slight reprieve.

“Protection,” Michael answered. “Based on Leviathan and HYDRA technology. It’s been tracking her whereabouts, and is designed to send a signal should she ever be in distress again. Peg and I figured that there was a strong chance that she may be used by them again, and we wanted to take every step to prevent that.”

Steve could see the conflicting feelings warring inside Bucky’s head as he tried to process all this new information against what they all thought he had been doing. Steve didn’t blame him; his own head was spinning just as much.

“Thank you,” Bucky said finally.

“It was Peg’s idea,” Michael said.

There was a knock at the door, startling them all. Bucky opened it, revealing Jack.

“What is it, Thompson?” he asked.

“Director Phillips is here.”

 

* * *

 

**February 23rd, 1950 - HYDRA/Leviathan Facility**

Peggy was blinking up at the ceiling from where she was strapped to a table. Her attempts to wrestle herself out of Dottie and Fred’s clone’s grip only resulted in her being forcibly dragged to what she could only deduce to be an operating room. In the process, the back of her head had been slammed against the doorframe to the room. The force of the impact caused Peggy to vomit again, which in turn made her too lightheaded to continue to struggle.

Once they had strapped her in, Peggy focused on taking deep breaths and listening to Dottie and Fred’s clone argue with each other over their next course of action. She deduced that she was most likely slightly concussed at the worst, though her captors had taken her vomiting spells and paleness as a sign that she had the flu.

_Good_ , she thought to herself. If they knew she was pregnant, they would know immediately who the father was, and there was no telling what they would do to her and her child in order to harvest any of Steve’s DNA they could reach. She had never been been more grateful that she wasn’t showing yet.

“It’s only for a few days,” Dottie reasoned.

“We don’t know how long her clone can last without any new DNA,” Fred objected. “She was built off of scraps and needs to be taken care of!”

“But if we inject her with Peggy’s blood while she’s sick then it could destroy her from the inside out within minutes,” Dottie argued fiercely. “We can’t risk destroying months of work, years of planning just because we couldn’t wait a week for a flu to subside.”

“She iz right,” Zola finally spoke up, silencing them both. “Ve have come too far to let our impatience be our downfall. Ve vill send her in, and be ready to take vhat ve need as soon as she shows the first signs of health.”

Peggy heard shuffling around the room and felt the straps on her wrists and ankles being undone. Dottie helped her sit, and then stand.

“Come on, Peggy, let me show you to your room. I think you’ll find it rather cozy,” Dottie told her as she grabbed her left bicep.

Peggy would have rolled her eyes if she hadn’t still been feeling slightly dizzy.

Dottie led Peggy through another series of hallways that she worked hard to memorize. To Peggy’s surprise, the room that she was led into had a decently sized bed with a blanket and pillow, toilet, and sink. Though there wasn’t a window, by all other standards it was the most comfortable cell that she had ever been held in.

“And I thought you were only being insufferable when you called this room cozy,” Peggy mused out loud.

“I told you Peggy, we wanted to work together to avoid as much conflict as possible. Until you ruined it,” Dottie said pointedly.

“You dragged me here at gunpoint and had just told me that you’ll be using my clone - that you created no less - to infiltrate my organization and seduce my husband. Can you really blame me?”

Dottie’s lips curled up into a mischievous smile.

“I suppose it wouldn’t be us if we didn’t have a minor disagreement every now and again,” she conceded.

To her surprise, Peggy let out a sharp staccato laugh.

“Now Peggy, I’ll be back to check on you daily until your flu subsides,” Dottie said. “We won’t touch you while you’re sick.”

It could have been the slight concussion, but for a moment, Peggy could have sworn that Dottie was looking at her with the smallest hint of kindness.

But then she left abruptly, closing the door behind her.

The moment was gone, and Peggy was effectively trapped.

 

* * *

 

**March 3rd, 1950 - Mel and Steph’s Room, SHIELD Safe House**

“What were you doing in the vault?”

Mel’s head snapped to look at Bucky from where she was carefully readjusting Steph’s pillow while the girl slept. Bucky chanced a glance at the redheaded girl to make sure that she hadn’t been woken up in the process. Director Phillips had asked to speak with Grant alone. In the meantime, Jack and the newly un-cuffed Michael had gone to check on Howard and Jarvis’ progress.

“What?” she asked.

“Thompson said that you walked by the vault right after that doppelgänger collapsed. Why were you there?”

“What happened to you trusting me again?” she asked, and he could see the slight hurt in her blue eyes.

“Don’t,” he said sharply.

Bucky knew in his heart that she wouldn’t do anything to hurt him, or SHIELD, but after today, any extra precautions couldn’t hurt. Mel paused for a moment before letting out a breath. She tucked a stray piece of her blond hair behind her ear.

“A couple of weeks ago, Howard and Peggy came up to me. I’d been helping Howard with some small tasks since Christmas - I think he felt sorry for me, now that I think about it. But this was different.”

“How?”

“Apparently I have a natural ability not only with understanding and working the new technology that Howard develops, but also with helping him find solutions to their problems. I think it helps that I speak Howard, even when he speaks only in technological jargon.”

“You, Peg and Jarvis might be the only ones,” Bucky muttered, causing her to smile slightly.

“They asked me to help Howard safe-guard all his inventions. They had reason to believe that HYDRA and Leviathan were planning on stealing one. Since they didn’t know which one, and they couldn’t move them without arousing suspicion, I would take them one by one and work with Howard and Jarvis to find a way to make sure we were the only ones that could use them.”

“That’s everything?”

“That’s all,” she told him firmly.

He looked her dead in the eyes, searching for any lies, any fear hiding behind them. When he found none, he nodded.

“Well, I’m glad you’re not planning on betraying us again,” Bucky said.

Mel smiled.

“Yeah well I considered it for a moment, but I figured that I’d been there, done that.”

“Funny,” he said with a deadpan expression.

“I think you mean hilarious,” she corrected him, poking his chest.

Bucky smiled and caught her hand before she could retract it.

“Hey lovebirds,” Jack said as he entered the room, causing them to jump slightly.

Bucky rolled his eyes, but didn’t let go of Mel’s hand when he lowered his. He could sense her surprise, and fought to hide the smile that was trying to force itself back on his mouth.

“What is it Thompson?” Bucky asked. 

“Rogers and Phillips want to see us. I think they have a plan,” he replied.

“Finally, took them long eno - wait. Did you just say Rogers?” Bucky asked.

Jack gave him a pointed look.

“Yes, as in the apparently not-dead Captain America.” 

When they both remained silently shocked, Jack rolled his eyes.

“If he didn’t want people to figure it out, he shouldn’t have shaved his beard _and_ married Carter in the same day.”

Bucky snorted but before he could retort, Mel spoke up, her tone indicating her shock.

“I hate to say that he’s right. I thought there was something that looked familiar.”

“Although you might not want to tell Peggy that last part to her face,” Bucky added.

“Unless you want your ass kicked. In that case you should invite us all to watch,” Mel quipped.

Jack rolled his eyes good-naturedly. 

“Wait, does Steve know that you know?” Bucky asked.

“No. I figured he’d tell me eventually if he wanted to, but after everything today, I’m done with secret identities.”

Bucky couldn’t blame him for that.

“Now come on,” Jack said, slightly impatient.

“What about me?” Mel asked, tightening her grip on Bucky’s hand.

Her tone told him that no matter the answer, she would refuse to be excluded.

“You too. Rogers says he has a special job for you,” Jack told her.

 

* * *

 

**February 26th, 1950 - HYDRA/Leviathan Facility**

The door to Peggy’s cell opened, revealing Fred’s clone. She stood from where she had been sitting on the bed, and raised her eyebrow at him.

“What?” she began. “Dottie was too busy to toy with her favourite prisoner so she sent a substitute? She’s losing her touch.”

In all honesty, Dottie’s “check ups” hadn’t been terrible. In fact, they had been some of the most pleasant interactions they had shared together. Though that wasn’t a high standard by any means, it was something. Dottie had even provided her with a change of clothes yesterday. If Peggy didn’t figure out how to escape soon, she might be able to use this unexpected kindness to her advantage.

Fred’s clone simply stared at her for a few moments before speaking. Years ago, Peggy would have been able to read the strange look in his eyes instantly. Now, it was beyond impossible.

Then again, it wasn’t really Fred Wells standing in front of her.

“He was mad about you,” he said finally.

“I beg your pardon?” she asked.

“Fred Wells. He never mentioned you by name - but you should have seen his face whenever he saw your picture. Peggy Carter. The woman he had lost but had never gotten over. The woman who held his heart until his dying breath.”

Peggy remained silent, glaring at him.

“I never understood his infatuation,” he continued when he realized Peggy wasn’t going to contribute anything.

“That wouldn’t happen to be because you’re a monstrosity created by a man lacking in sanity, let alone empathy?” she cut him off.

Despite her biting tone, Fred’s double let out a small laugh.

“You think that lack of empathy is weakness? Let me tell you something, _Director Carter_. Feelings and empathy only get in the way.”

“As you’ve so kindly pointed out, I am the Deputy Director of SHIELD. My feelings never impeded me from nearly snuffing your lot out and climbing the ranks in the process.”

“And yet they’re the reason why your ex-fiancé died alone, working for a cause that he hated in an effort to keep you safe.”

“Despite that, the real Fred Wells was a better man than you could ever hope to be,” she bit out.

“Perhaps, but that Fred Wells is also now six feet under. He can’t save you."

“I don’t need anyone to rescue me,” she snapped.

“Perhaps not. But while you’re in here biding your time, who’s out there taking care of your husband? After all, it’s not as though you can be in two places at once,” he smirked.

Peggy’s blood ran cold at his tone and the implication his words held.

“See?” he continued, slowly advancing toward her. “Even if you do find a way out of here, we still have first access to those you love the most. You try anything and they’ll be dead before you’re out the door. Either way, you lose because of your feelings.”

Peggy glared at him and stepped toward him as she spoke, closing the distance between them.

“If that’s all you’ve come to tell me then I’m afraid you’ve wasted your time,” she said acidly. “You’re forgetting who my husband is, what he’s done, what he’s capable of.”

“But not even Captain America is invincible. Especially if he doesn’t see it coming. Especially if it comes from the person he trusts the most,” he said, turning on his heel and walking toward the door. 

He stopped and slowly turned to face her as the door opened.

“It’s almost heartbreaking to imagine how he’d feel thinking that it was the love of his life who was his undoing.”

Fred’s clone smirked at her and left without another word, closing the door behind him. Peggy remained rooted where she stood, seething with anger. Slowly, as it began to melt away, Peggy walked toward the closest wall and leaned her back against it. As her anger finished subsiding, she found herself sliding down it until she was sitting on the floor.

“Oh my darling, how am I going to get us out of this one?” she whispered aloud.

It wasn't until the words had come out of her mouth that Peggy realized her words were intended for her baby. Though she had been beyond thrilled at the prospect of a child, she would have much sooner expected this kind of behaviour from Steve. 

Still, she couldn’t help but feel slightly calmer as the words left her mouth. 

“Truthfully I’m more worried about Steve - your father. Alone with that clone, doppelgänger - or whatever the bloody hell she is. He always believes the best in everyone, to his own detriment much of the time.”

Peggy sighed softly. Steve had proven time and again that his patience with her was nearly limitless. Her clone didn’t need to behave exactly like her. If Steve saw that she was acting strange, he would give her the benefit of the doubt and hope that she was just having a bad week - or that she would eventually come clean to what was bothering her.

“What if something happens to him before he realizes it’s not me?”

Peggy quickly shook that fear out of her head. She had faith in Steve. He knew her better than anyone else alive. No matter that she had been replaced with a near carbon copy of herself, something would soon tip him off to the truth. And Peggy was still as determined as ever to escape and rain hell down on both Leviathan and HYDRA until they were nothing more than ash - sooner rather than later. 

“Never mind that,” she continued. “What’s important is that I’m going to get us out of here and back to your father.”

She put her hand on her stomach for the first time since being taken. A reminder of what she was fighting for. Slowly, she began to rub it in gentle circles. Almost immediately, she let out a small gasp. Her eyes widened in realization as she found that her palm was no longer met with the nearly flat surface that she was accustomed to.

Peggy was finally beginning to show.

It was slight, certainly not noticeable at a glance with the clothes she was wearing, but it was there. She didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. It wasn’t long before her vision blurred slightly despite the large smile that overtook her mouth. 

Both seemed most appropriate for this situation, after all.

“Your father will be over the moon,” she whispered. “I promise that he’ll get to meet you soon.”

Keeping her hand on her stomach, she felt beyond marvelled by the small bump that was now there.

“No one is going to hurt you, my darling. Not while I’m around.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title of this chapter taken from the song Heart of Stone from Six the Musical. The song also inspired some of this chapter. 
> 
> Much love to my wonderful and ever-patient beta: Darcy
> 
> Let me know what you think! I live for the feedback, theories, and comments from all of you wonderful folks!


	26. Heart of Stone - Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An update in less than a month? An actual miracle at this point. 
> 
> Things are coming down to the wire for Peggy, Steve and Co. as they are all now in present day. For context, the first scene of this chapter takes place at the same time with the SHIELD scenes in the previous chapter (hell of a day for everyone tbh), and then everything else is chronological going forward.
> 
> Enjoy!

**Morning - March 3rd, 1950 - HYDRA/Leviathan Facility, New Jersey**

Peggy slowly lifted her head and reached out, flushing the toilet. She grunted as she stood up and walked to the sink, rinsing her mouth out with water. Being mindful of where the camera in her cell was located, she snuck a small bottle of mouthwash out of her sleeve. Dottie had snidely told her a few days ago that she was sick of the stench coming from her mouth and handed it to her discreetly. Peggy continued to wonder whether or not Dottie had actually taken a risk by giving her this - and a fresh set of clothes every three days.

After she finished rinsing out her mouth, she hid the small bottle back up her sleeve and looked around her cell. She huffed, knowing full well that she was running out of time to act. She had been here for a week and a half, and had yet to be able to figure out an escape plan. Dottie had a habit for scheduling her impromptu visits whenever Peggy had her head in the toilet. Though this had helped bide her time with the ruse that she was sick, it also meant that it didn’t give her much of an opening to analyze her only potential escape route, let alone attempt anything.

However, now her morning sickness was beginning to come less frequently. Though that was in and of itself a major relief, it also meant that she wouldn’t be able to continue to pretend to be ill for much longer. She suspected that she only had two or three days at the most before Zola would take her blood to replenish and stabilize her clone. In doing so, they would inevitably discover that she was pregnant.

She couldn’t - _wouldn’t_ \- let that happen. 

Peggy’s cell door opened, and she straightened up, ready to take note of anything she could later use to her advantage. However, she was stunned by the sight before her. 

Agent Ramirez. 

Though he and Agent Davis had been strategically planted within HYDRA as spies for SHIELD as part of their plan, Peggy’s eyes still widened in shock. At their last check in, he had still been stationed at the facility where they initially planted him, and neither he or Davis had been able to discern which of the top American-based HYDRA facilities Zola was frequenting, let alone infiltrate it.

_Dear God, if you exist, please let him not be a clone_ , she prayed silently.

“Breakfast, Director Carter,” he told her, walking inside with a tray of food.

“Where’s Dottie?” she asked.

“She had more urgent matters to attend to, so she sent me instead.”

When he handed her the tray, Peggy stared into his eyes. His gaze was guarded, but it didn’t give her any reason to think it wasn’t him - at least for now.

“What? You’re going to watch me while I eat?” she asked when he didn’t retreat.

“Boss’ orders,” he said. 

Peggy frowned and sat on her bed, setting the tray down. Ramirez didn’t even move an inch. 

“Don’t make a mess,” he ordered her.

Peggy raised her eyebrow at him, but she noticed his gaze flicked to her tray for the slightest second. 

She frowned at him and then glanced down at the contents of the tray. Peggy noticed a strangely-patterned napkin sticking out ever so slightly from under the bowl of oatmeal. She tactfully positioned herself so that her back was facing where the camera was. 

“Not hungry, Director?” Ramirez asked.

Peggy looked up at him while slowly pulling the napkin out from under the bowl.

“I’m your prisoner, Ramirez, there’s no need for the formality,” she told him.

“Prisoner or not, I’m not going to disrespect you like that,” he told her.

“How comforting. You’ll betray me, SHIELD, everything you’ve ever stood for and allow HYDRA to hold me prisoner, but you’ll still respect my title,” she said snidely, chancing a glance down at the napkin.

The pattern on the napkin was a code. 

Her fingers twitched slightly at the instinct to begin deciphering it. She looked at the blank second napkin underneath the fork. All she needed was a writing utensil.

“Eat up, Director. I don’t have all day,” Ramirez prodded sharply.

Peggy picked up the fork, considering it for a moment before she realized that one of the prongs on the fork was ever so slightly longer than the others. She pressed the tipof that prong onto the blank napkin. When she removed it, she found that it had left a small black mark.

Fighting the urge to smile, Peggy set to work decoding the message.

“Do forgive me if I don't find this meal appetizing, Ramirez,” she said stiffly as she wrote.

“Be grateful they’re giving you anything at all,” he said.

“Yes you’re completely correct. Along with the kidnapping and imprisonment, I should also be grateful for this sludge you expect me to swallow down,” she muttered.

“You should be grateful they’ve kept you intact up until now.”

She only half-listened to him as she read the message she had decoded.

 

_Just transferred here._

_Requesting update._

_Will check in with team immediately following._

 

And there it was, at the bottom of the napkin. Ramirez’s safety code. 

The Ramirez in front of her was real, and not compromised. 

And now he was going to help Peggy get the hell out of here.

Quickly, she turned the napkin over and set to work writing her own coded message.

“You should be ashamed,” she told him. “We trusted you, and you chose to act like a coward.”

“No, I saw the truth and decided to do the smart thing,” he responded. “HYDRA is everywhere.”

“HYDRA fell once. They’ll fall again,” she told him.

“That’s incredibly naive of you, Director. After all, we have your brother working for us.” 

Peggy stopped writing and shot him a slightly alarmed look.

“Michael?”

“He’s been essential to our operation,” Ramirez said smugly.

“Well isn’t that just _peachy_ for you,” she said tightly.

Peggy tried to discern his tone and expression, but fell short. She knew that Michael had been working for HYDRA as a double agent for their side, but they had kept that information from everyone else. If Ramirez thought that Michael had betrayed them, he would relay that information to Steve and everyone else on their covert team at SHIELD.

She prayed in vain that it wouldn’t complicate things further.

“You see? If you can’t trust those closest to you, then what’s left?” he asked her.

“There’s always hope,” she replied firmly. “Hope that humanity will rise up and do the right thing.”

Peggy finished writing her message and slid both napkins under the bowl.

“You can take this back. I’d rather vomit again than finish this,” Peggy said, holding out the tray to him.

Ramirez crossed to her and took the tray from her.

“I’ll tell your husband you said hi,” he snarked.

She stared at him stonily.

“While you’re out, you can also tell Michael that the sparrow’s blood will be sacrificed.”

Ramirez gave her a curious look, but left the room without saying another word.

Alone once more, Peggy’s hand subconsciously moved to her stomach. Though she knew that help would ideally be on its way within a few hours, she couldn’t leave her child’s fate to chance.

Peggy was getting them both out of there. 

Today.

 

* * *

 

**Afternoon - March 3rd, 1950 - Peggy Carter’s Office, SHIELD NY Headquarters**

Steve looked out the window of Peggy’s office. He took out his compass and ran his thumb over the battered exterior before opening it. Out of habit, he still carried it with him everywhere. It brought him a comfort that was impossible to describe.

He couldn’t help but twitch his lips up into small smile as he looked at Peggy’s unsmiling face. Steve knew that Peggy hated that photo with a passion. She had asked him on more than one occasion if he was certain he didn’t want to replace it with a more flattering one. When he told her that he wouldn’t trade this photo of her for any other, she proceeded to roll her eyes at him and call him delusional.

_I’m so close, Peggy. I’ll find you soon_ , he promised her silently.

“I remember the first time I saw Carter’s picture in your compass,” Phillips spoke up, turning Steve’s attention to him.  “Though she looked like she wanted the ground to swallow her up, I’ve never seen her look more smug.”

Steve let out a small laugh. Though she’d never admit it out loud, Peggy had always been a touch possessive over him. 

Not that he minded one bit.

“Alright, we’re all here,” Jack declared upon abruptly entering Peggy’s office. 

Steve snapped his compass shut and stuffed it into his pocket, keeping his hand wrapped around it.

Bucky, Mel, Howard, and Jarvis followed him into the room, closing the door behind them.

“Where’s Michael?” Steve asked Jack, immediately on edge by his lack of presence.

“One of the double agents - Swenson - asked to see him while he was working with me,” Howard spoke up.

“This might mean they’re onto us,” Jack said tightly.

“And that he’s ratting us out as we speak,” Bucky added.

Steve shook his head sharply. He needed to believe that Michael wouldn’t do this to them. To Peggy.

“Either way, we need to move now,” Steve said.

“Does this mean we’ve located where they’re keeping Miss Carter?” Jarvis asked, perking up slightly.

“Not exactly,” he replied. “At Ramirez and Davis’ last check in, they provided us with a map of bases in the United States that are the most covert within HYDRA. Phillips and I went through them, and we’ve narrowed it down to the two most likely possibilities of where they’re keeping her.”

“And Zola?” Mel asked.

“He’ll be wherever Peggy is,” Steve said.

“How can you be sure?” Jack asked.

“She’s the best they can get,” Howard said before looking at Director Phillips. “No offence, Director.”

“None taken,” Phillips grunted. “Carter and Stark are right. Director Carter was their big fish. Whatever he wants from her, Zola will be sure to get it from her himself.”

“So now we just have to decide which location to storm,” Jarvis spoke up, looking toward the map.

“You planning on coming with us, Jeeves?” Bucky asked amusedly.

Jarvis snapped his head to look at Bucky and straightened up, visibly offended.

“I will have you know, Sergeant Barnes, that I am just as qualified as any of you for this mission. Miss Carter requires my help, and I will be there.”

Steve smiled appreciatively at Jarvis.

“Of course, Jarvis,” Steve said.

“We have to choose right the first time,” Jack said, pondering the map.

“He’s right,” Bucky agreed. “Right now they still think they have the upper hand with their fake Peggy. The second we go into any facility, they’ll know something is up if she doesn’t warn them.”

“So no pressure,” Howard said.

Steve considered the options. He replayed the conversation he and Peggy had with Ramirez and Davis before she was taken. His gut was telling him that they were most likely keeping her at the New Jersey facility, but every time he settled on it, a small voice in the back of his head told him to re-evaluate.

Peggy and their baby needed him to make the right choice.

“It’s your call, Director,” Steve told Phillips finally.

Phillips snorted.

Steve raised his eyebrow at him curiously and Phillips gave him a pointed look.

“Since when have you ever listened to a single order I’ve given?”

“He’s got a point there, Rogers,” Jack said pointedly. “According to the war records, you’ve never been much of a follower.”

Steve snapped his head to look at Jack, and tried to keep his expression neutral. Both Howard and Jarvis looked appropriately shocked, while Bucky and Mel looked at each other conspiratorially.

“It’s your fault for shaving,” Jack quipped, and Steve couldn’t help but let out a sharp laugh. “I’m guessing Carter’s the spy in the relationship.”

“Damn right she is,” Bucky piped up.

“Anyone else guess it?” Steve asked Jack, pointedly ignoring Bucky.

“Not that I know of,” Jack shrugged. “But I’ve always been miles ahead of the pack.”

“You really haven’t brought it up to anyone?” Steve asked dubiously.

“For years I gave Carter a lot of shit because of you. I figured the least I owed her was to keep my mouth shut.” 

“Thanks, Jack,” he said, feeling touched at Jack’s consideration.

“I’m afraid he does have a point about the beard, Captain Rogers,” Jarvis admitted.

“Your face is too recognizable because you’re just so damn handsome,” Bucky teased him, making a move to pinch his cheek.

Steve slapped his hand away. However, before he could retort any of them, the door burst open, revealing Michael, with Agent Ramirez hot on his tail.

“There you all are,” Michael said, entering the room swiftly.

“What did Swenson want?” Steve asked. 

“Not important,” Michael told him.

“I know where Director Carter is,” Ramirez said, his voice urgent and half out of breath.

Steve’s heart leapt into his throat.

“Where?” he asked sharply.

Ramirez noticed the map on the wall and he walked up to it and put a pin on the facility located in New Jersey.

“At this facility. HYDRA transferred me there two days ago,” Ramirez said. “I saw Underwood and overheard her talking with someone that they had Carter there. I made contact with her just a few hours ago and came here the first chance I got.”

“What about Zola?” Phillips asked.

“I haven’t seen him but from what I could tell, he’s also there.”

“I’m glad one of our moles actually made it through the ranks,” Bucky said, clapping him on the back.

“And quicker than expected,” Phillips added.

Ramirez handed Steve a napkin. There was a message that was scrawled in Peggy’s writing that he realized must have been decoded by her. 

“Other side,” Ramirez told him. “It’s from Carter, written in code.”

Steve rushed to Peggy’s desk, grabbed another piece of paper and a pencil and began decoding it.

 

_We’re safe._

_Zola and Underwood are here._

_Running out of time._

_Initiate Phase 2 NOW._

 

At the bottom, Peggy’s safety code. Proof that the message was from her. He ran his thumb over the first words of her message.

 

_We’re safe._

 

“She also told me to tell you that the sparrow’s blood will be sacrificed,” Ramirez said to Michael.

Steve looked up, shooting Ramirez a confused look before noticing that Michael’s face had gone pale.

“What does that mean?” Bucky asked.

“They’re going to use her for some experimentation,” Michael explained.

“Like turn her into a Winter Soldier?” Howard asked.

“Her doppelgänger,” Steve realized. “They must need more of her DNA to sustain it.”

“That’s why they kept Wells alive for so long,” Jack said. 

“Jack,” Steve began. “Discreetly gather every agent that we know is still on our side and get them to gear up - yes, Jarvis, you’re coming too. Mel, stay here with Howard. Both of you get a hold of Anderson and get his team ready to go on my signal. Michael, make contact with Davis and let him know we’re going into phase two. Ramirez, you need take us to the New Jersey facility _now_.”

“What about me, Rogers? Planning on leaving me out?” Phillips said gruffly.

“Of course not. You’re coming with us,” Steve told him with a grin. “Now let’s move. And this time, we’re stopping them for good.”

Everyone nodded in agreement and sprung into action. Steve stalled for a moment, and remained in the office after they all left. He took out his compass and opened it.

_I’m coming, Peggy._

 

* * *

 

**Evening - March 3rd, 1950 - HYDRA/Leviathan Facility, New Jersey**

Peggy was in the middle of inspecting her cell for anything that she could use as a weapon when she heard the familiar rap on the door. She straightened up and turned to face Dottie as she entered.

“Hello Peggy,” Dottie greeted on her way in, tray in hand. “No vomiting I see.”

“You just missed it,” Peggy retorted, only half-joking. “It’s a good thing I didn’t have much of whatever Ramirez brought in this morning.”

“Speaking of,” Dottie continued primly as she set the tray she had been carrying on Peggy’s bed. “He said you took issue with the oatmeal. Maybe your dinner will be more up to your standards.”

Peggy felt slightly unnerved by the fact that her stomach didn’t feel completely unsettled by the look of the food.

“Still not hungry?” Dottie tutted when Peggy hadn’t moved.

“Not unless you have scones with jam,” Peggy told her snidely.

“How ungrateful,” Dottie frowned.

“You asked,” Peggy quipped, causing Dottie to sigh.

Peggy couldn’t help but notice the corners of her mouth twitch up for half a second.

“No matter, you won’t have much time to eat anyway,” Dottie said.

“And why is that?”

“I have to take you in for your preliminary blood test.”

If Peggy hadn’t recently emptied the entire contents of her stomach, she was certain they would have come back up in that moment. 

“But I’m still sick,” Peggy argued. “I vomited less than an hour ago.”

“Yes, well we’ve decided that it’s important that we take a test of your blood now to verify-”

“We?” Peggy challenged. “Or Zola?”

“This entire thing is bigger than any individual,” Dottie told her firmly. “This is what’s best.”

“So what’s best is that the clone will collapse because you gave her my DNA while I’m still sick?”

“These blood samples are to see if there’s anything still in your system that could harm her,” Dottie told her. “If there is, we’ll wait, if not, no time like the present to change that. Now don’t be an idiot, follow me.”

“No,” Peggy said defiantly.

“Don’t make this harder than it needs to be, Peggy,” Dottie threatened.

“Harder than being imprisoned while knowing my clone is out there manipulating my husband and my team? You’re the one that’s playing with fire,” Peggy threatened back in a low voice.

Dottie gave her a strange look that unsettled Peggy. Instead of responding, Dottie went to reach for her, but Peggy took a step back.

“Don’t touch me,” she hissed.

Dottie sighed and motioned for Peggy to follow her, giving her a hard look. Peggy stared her down, weighing her options. She had no idea if her team was on their way, or if Ramirez had even been able to get her message back to them in the first place.

As far as she knew, Peggy was on her own.

She only had from the doorway of her cell to the doorway of the operating room to find a way to escape. If they strapped her down, there would be no stopping them from figuring out she was pregnant. She had no idea how she was going to accomplish an escape with her handler beside her at every step, but she did know the only way to find out was to take her first steps out of the room. 

Peggy kept her eyes narrowed at Dottie as she fell into step beside her.

If she remembered correctly, Peggy knew that she had about 3000 feet until they arrived to their destination, including stairs and the winding turns.

She discreetly looked to her side to the first hallway on her left.

Six HYDRA agents, all armed. Even if she made it past Dottie, she wouldn’t make it past all of them without a weapon of her own. If she did, it would most likely end up with some amount of injury to her stomach.

Too risky.

2500 feet. Right turn.

Only three agents in this hallway, but they all had what looked like taser batons in their hands. Though Peggy was almost certain she could take a hit or two from those, she couldn’t be certain that it wouldn’t harm her baby.

She swore internally and continued walking beside Dottie. 

1500 feet.

Turn after turn, step after step, Peggy kept finding herself doubting her ability to get through whatever obstacles were present without her baby getting hurt in the process. The thought of that alone ate at her heart. If anything happened to her baby - among other things - she could only imagine how devastated Steve would be. She wouldn’t be able face him.

_This used to be so much easier when I only had to think of myself_ , she thought bitterly.

They were moving deeper into the facility, and her hope was rapidly dwindling.

700 feet.

Straight line to the operating room. No more hallways to turn into, with only a dead end in the close horizon. She would have to turn right around if she wanted out. Time was almost up.

500 feet. 

Fuck having a plan, she needed Dottie’s gun. Grab the gun, knock Dottie out, make a break for it, keep her baby safe at all costs.

Peggy took a deep breath and braced herself to make her move. She hadn’t finished her inhale when Dottie grabbed her bicep roughly and pulled her into a side door. 

“What the hell?” she hissed.

Peggy frowned as Dottie took her down what seemed to be a back-access staircase instead of responding.

“Dottie-”

“For once in your life just shut up, Peggy,” Dottie scolded quietly.

Something in Dottie’s tone kept Peggy from retorting. She almost sounded desperate. They eventually ended up in a small records room. Dottie pulled out a small device that had one button on it and clicked it.

“There. Cameras are bugged. It’ll save us a few minutes.”

“What are you doing?” Peggy huffed.

“Helping you, _clearly_ ,” Dottie said in an exasperated tone.

“Why in the world would you do that?” Peggy asked.

“Can’t you just accept my help?”

“Not only is this incredibly out of character and inconsistent with your past behaviours, you have shown me no reason as to-”

“Would you rather Zola find out you’re pregnant with Wonder Boy’s baby?” Dottie snapped.

Peggy felt all the blood drain away from her face.

“What?”

“The flu is a good cover; a lot of the symptoms are the same. But you wouldn’t pass the blood test. I stalled as long as I could but we have to get you out _now_.”

“But why help me? You have the power to tip the scales in HYDRA’s favour-”

“Because I’ve been you,” Dottie snapped.

Peggy stalled.

“Dottie… you were pregnant?” Peggy asked softly.

“I wasn’t supposed to be,” Dottie said quietly. “I graduated. I wasn’t supposed to be able to get pregnant.”

“What happened?”

“Children are unnecessary emotional attachments. They make you weak. Children will keep you from serving Leviathan.”

Dottie spoke as if she was reciting a mantra. Peggy’s heart sunk.

“Oh, Dottie-”

“If Zola found out you were pregnant, you would’ve lost yours. One way or another.”

Peggy was dumbfounded as everything began to sink in.

“The clothes. The mouthwash. The consistent and well-portioned meals. You were the first to mention that I had the flu and fought to wait on the blood samples. You’ve been taking care of me this entire time.”

Dottie stared at her, and for the first time in the years that they’ve known each other, Peggy saw true vulnerability and conflict in her eyes.

“They made me forget for a long time. But I remembered when you threw up your first day here. The look on your face - I remembered how it felt like to be you. And I couldn’t let them…”

Peggy swallowed thickly. She knew how cruel the Red Room was, but she couldn’t fathom losing her baby and then forgetting them all together. 

Dottie had always been a pawn in both Leviathan and HYDRA’s grander game, but Peggy had never stopped to think of her as much more than that. In her mind, Dottie had always been cold-blooded, selfish, manipulative. She had never considered the fact that her humanity was still buried deep inside her.

“Thank you,” Peggy whispered sincerely. “I don’t know how-” 

“Now you have to leave,” Dottie interrupted her sharply. “They’ve probably already figured out that you’re not coming. You can leave through here while I stall them.”

“Come with me, I can protect you,” Peggy told her.

Dottie frowned.

“You expect me to believe that? After everything I’ve done, SHIELD will arrest me for life, and HYDRA will shoot me on sight.”

“Not if I have anything to do with it.”

“Why?”

“A life for a life. Despite what you’ve been created and raised to do, you still have your humanity. I believe you can become better.”

“I don’t think that’s possible for me.”

“Do you _want_ to change?” Peggy asked her honestly.

Dottie looked away, but Peggy could see the conflict in her eyes increase as she paused for a few moments.

“I want them out of my head,” Dottie almost whispered.

“You made a decision on your own. A selfless decision to help someone else,” Peggy told her. “I’d say that’s a start. And when this is all over, I’d like to continue to help you. At your own pace, of course.”

Dottie gave her the slightest nod. Though she wasn’t looking Peggy in the eye, she could tell that Dottie was on board.

At least for now.

A shot rang out. Dottie’s eyes widened and she gasped. Four more shots followed in quick succession. They both took a moment to look down at Dottie’s ribcage, where there was now blood oozing out of her at an alarming rate. Dottie tried to take a step toward Peggy but she immediately collapsed. Peggy was quick to catch her, and she carefully lowered her to the ground.

She pressed her hand against Dottie’s ribcage, trying to stop the bleeding while using her other hand to gently cradle Dottie’s head. As Dottie curled her body around where Peggy where she was kneeling, Peggy looked up. Fred’s clone slowly advancing toward them.

“Such a shame. She was one of the best,” he tutted.

“The same can’t nearly be said about you,” Peggy growled out.

Dottie slowly placed her hand over Peggy’s and moved it so that is was over her gun. Realizing that she only had seconds before he realized what was happening, Peggy grabbed Dottie’s gun and pointed it at Fred’s clone. 

“Not one more step,” she warned through gritted teeth.

“Isn’t that adorable,” he mocked.

“Greater men have underestimated me,” Peggy told him as she stood, keeping her gun trained on him. “I’d introduce you but they’re all currently dead or incarcerated.”

Fred’s clone paused and considered her.

“You know, I think I’m beginning to understand it.”

“What?” Peggy frowned.

“Everyone’s obsession with you.”

“If you’re only beginning to understand it, you’re more behind the game than I thought.”

Fred’s clone narrowed his eyes, and Peggy noticed his right arm tense slightly. On instinct, she quickly shifted to the right a mere second before he fired a shot at her. The bullet hardly grazed the lower half of the left side of her ribcage.

Peggy couldn’t quite make sense of what went through her next. 

She saw red. The only word going through her mind was _protect_.

Peggy fired a bullet that clipped him in the left shoulder, and used this opening to charge him and kick his gun out of his hand. Fred’s clone recovered just in time to grab Peggy’s wrist before she could fire another shot at him. They wrestled over her gun until it was thrown halfway across the room. 

They were then locked in a physical sparring match. She hated to admit that he was quite good. It gave her reason to suspect that they genetically enhanced him to some extent. The thought only made her fight harder.

Fred’s clone went to kick her abdomen, and all the sirens went off in Peggy’s head. She hardly had time to spin out of the way before he made contact. She hadn’t been able to turn back to face him when he kicked her in the back, and before she knew what was happening, she was falling forward to the floor.

Peggy caught herself with her hands before her lower body made contact with the ground. Looking up, she saw his gun a few feet in front of her, and immediately began scrambling toward it. He grabbed her ankle as her hand wrapped itself around his gun. As he yanked her toward him, she twisted around and aimed the gun at him, firing.

The bullet landed right in-between his eyes.

Everything began moving in slow motion. She saw as his eyes filled with shock for the briefest second before all the light disappeared from them. His hand on her ankle went slack as his body collapsed to the ground. His head was the last thing to make contact with the floor. 

“Wow, Peggy. You sure showed him.”

Dottie’s voice snapped her back to reality.

Breathing heavily, Peggy rushed to Dottie and knelt by her side. She ripped a large portion of her right pant leg off and began tying it around her midsection, trying to at least lessen the blood flowing out of her.

“Alright, let’s see if you can stand-”

“ _No_. Go,” Dottie gritted out.

“I’m not leaving you,” Peggy argued.

“I’ll be fine,” Dottie insisted.

Peggy stared at Dottie stonily before conceding. She had seen Dottie fall from a terrible height and recover well enough to evade capture. Now that her makeshift bandage was keeping most of the blood in her body, she should be fine long enough for Peggy to capture Zola and get help. Peggy carefully moved Dottie so that she was leaning against a wall, and handed her Fred’s clone’s gun.

“Fine, just rest here. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“You are so sentimental,” Dottie half-teased her.

Peggy nodded and grabbed Dottie’s gun from the other side of the room before running back the way they came. 

“You’re going the wrong way,” Dottie called out.

“I need to get Zola before he disappears,” Peggy responded firmly.

“Jesus, you’re a piece of work, Peggy,” Dottie muttered. “Go get him, then.”

They shared a small smile before Peggy continued on her way. Earlier, she had been so scared that she would make the wrong call and harm her child’s life that she hadn’t taken any of the risks that she normally never blinked an eye at before. There was no way out of here without confrontation, but she had made it through Fred’s clone mostly unscathed, and she knew she was more than capable of getting through anyone else that threatened her life - and her baby’s.

She made it to the operating room she was originally supposed to be in, but there was no one there. Peggy swore internally. If he wasn’t here, he could be anywhere in the facility.

“Looking for me, Director Carter?”

Peggy whipped around to find Zola standing in the doorway, gun aimed at her.

“Zola,” she said acidly.

“Oh come now, zhere is no need to be so rude. After all, you are zhe vone who has spit in zhe face of our hospitality.”

“You truly are delusional,” she said. 

“Delusional?” Zola scoffed. “You’ve lost, and you dare call me delusional? Now lowver your veapon, and put your hands in zhe air, Director.”

Peggy kept her eyes trained on him as she slowly set her gun on the floor and raised her hands. Zola began advancing toward her and Peggy slowly backed up until she was against the wall.

“Get on zhe table,” he ordered. 

“No,” she said defiantly.

Zola’s eyes narrowed. He was standing between her and the operating table, which in turn was blocking the doorway. His gun was still aimed at her.

“You are a fool, Director,” he spat.

“No. You are the fool, Zola. Though you claim otherwise you continue to underestimate me. You have yet to face the reality that I will defeat you, and HYDRA will burn. This time, for good.”

As she spoke, Peggy slowly advanced toward Zola until there was barely a foot between them.

“Zhere is no outcome in vhich you vin,” he snapped, pressing the gun against her chest. “Zhere is nothing you can do. Zhis is-"

An alarm began blaring, and the lights started flashing red. This caused Zola to look toward the doorway briefly, giving Peggy enough of a window to grab and wrestle the gun out of his hand. She kneed him in the stomach and punched his jaw. The force of it caused him to fall back, hitting his head on the operating table on his way down. When he didn’t move for a few seconds, Peggy knelt down and felt his pulse.

He was still alive. 

Peggy remained kneeling and took stock of the situation.

Fred’s clone was dead, Dottie was bleeding out in an obscure hidden room, and Zola was unconscious at her feet. With the alarm going and the door to this room still open, it wouldn’t be long before she was discovered by HYDRA agents. She most likely only had a handful of bullets in between the two guns to get through them all.

_Now would be a good time for a miracle_.

“Peggy?”

Peggy stood up and turned sharply to face the doorway. She was so relieved that her ears hadn’t been deceiving her, she nearly started crying.

_Steve._

He was wearing an all black tactical uniform, and was holding what seemed to be a silver shield. She watched as Steve looked from her to Zola’s unconscious body and back to her. It seemed as though his face couldn’t decide whether to be impressed, relieved, proud, or shocked. Peggy couldn’t help but quirk her lips up into a large smile.

“Hello, Steve,” she said softly.

“You got him,” he said hoarsely, his body frozen in the doorway.

“And you found me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eternal love to my friend and beta: Darcy.
> 
> I LOVE hearing all your thoughts, opinions and feedback! I also love responding to your queries and theories and chatting in general, so don't be shy. Comment away!


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